283. Business Partners, Enemies and Money

business enemies partners moneyI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an ”enemies’‘ list in my head of people I don’t like, that I believe have somehow wronged me in life and deserve to somehow get revenge from me

I commit myself to stop creating secret lists of people I like and don’t like and to stop locking me and them in labels / definitions, and simply work and clear the reactions I experience towards them all, so I stand equal and one with each and every single on of them without movement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even think and believe revenge is an acceptable form of getting back at someone, instead of realizing the best form of revenge is actually changing myself in a way that ends spite and nastiness, as being able to stand up and show/share who I am and how I changed for the better to inspire/show those I have placed on my enemies list how to change weaknesses into strengths and live in a best for everyone.

This I believe is the best form of revenge — is actually taking the insecurities, the regrets, and using them to live, to grow, to change and to become a better, more mature individual that can stand in integrity for oneself and all. No more do I allow myself to give into revenge or the desire for revenge since this form only perpetuates separation, conflict and destruction within oneself and one’s world.

I commit myself to stop justifying revenge as the best way to get back at someone since I realize it only perpetuates competition, separation, war, conflict, and destruction

I commit myself to change me into a better person, one who doesn’t want to seek revenge on others but instead uses situations/mishaps as points of learning, understanding, growing and expanding myself

I commit myself to start practicing being an individual who lives with integrity – clear of any form of hate or revenge for others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel quite distraught and angry thinking my enemy won – she got what she wanted – the project I created, and thus  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel really turbulent of emotional pain towards having lost something I created and built and wanted for myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that what I had created and built and had given away to someone else to be responsible for was made by and through me within the small little decisions of giving my power, my authority away to someone/something I saw/believe was better than me at handling the project, instead of standing and working equal with them and creating a better relationship of trust and communication with them. So I realize the reason why I left and gave the project to my business partner is because I did not feel worthy or good enough of handling it, due to personal insecurities and not knowing how to build an effective business relationship with them

I commit myself to – whenever I started a project, to clarify for myself what I want, to make sure I am clear in what I am going to do and the obstacles I may encounter from it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to my business partner because they were — according to my beliefs – liked by everyone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to my business partner in seeing them as better than me through the idea they are more free-flowing and sociable than me, and thus more liked

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that free-flowing, sociable people are the most likable people instead of realizing this is an idea I formed in my mind due to me being attracted to people who are of such nature – that I personally like people who are free flowing and sociable/who communicate a lot. I realize these are words I would like to live for myself, since I am most attracted to them

When and as I see myself feel inferior to another, I stop and I breathe. I realize they are representing something to me I do not feel I am yet, and thus I commit myself to USE what I see in them as words to redefine, live, build and express within me

I commit myself to redefine and live the words free-flowing and sociable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project blame onto my partner for the audacity to start projects without my confirmation/approval, instead of realizing I had also done things without their approval, and this is because we had never started/made an agreement on how to decide/approve on projects and work together as equals, because I had never decided who I am with this project and what I want to do with it – my partner was more clear with what they wanted to do with it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to start a business agreement/contract with my business partner highlighting exactly what our roles/responsibilities are and that we must talk with each other before approving new decisions – that it is imperative we create a strong communicative relationship of constant support in order to move forward

I commit myself to when I start a project, to be clear in exactly what I plan to do with it and where I would like to take it and if people involve, who should they be and what kind of relationship must I create with them in principle of what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry within the thought that  I lost my project to my business partner because I believe they are going to make a lot of money with the project – more money than me. I realize I had seen this project as potential to make a lot of profit and so felt protective in wanting it all – money, fame, recognition, all to myself and thus did not want to share with anyone, instead of letting that desire go in realizing as the project grew, a team needed to be built, thus sharing of responsibilities and being open to other’s suggestions, ideas and perspectives should be welcomed.

I commit myself to redefine, live and express the word SHARE

I commit myself to redefine my relationship to money where it is no longer based on energy but practicality

I also realize I had not properly received nor educated myself on how to effectively deal with others, whether in business or casual settings. Also it shows I have not developed/created a stable, understanding relationship with me, which is most needed when living and sharing this world with others

I commit myself to build, and develop an effective relationship with me, which will eventually outflow into effective relationships with others

 

Additional Support

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

 

 

 

282. Fulfillment

tim-mossholder-2676Fulfillment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel unfilled and unhappy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe people and environments determine my fulfillment and happiness instead of realizing that by believing in that, I will forever be unhappy/unfilled as external/exterior forces will never be able to give/create the fulfillment and happiness I want / need

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider how happiness and fulfillment is really an ”inside job,” that can only truly be created/manifested in/as self honesty as me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel unhappy and unfilled in moments I perceive to be difficult — such as when people talk to me in ways I perceive as being inconsiderate / mean / unkind – words and ways that I don’t like where I allow it to affect me in a negative internal level

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take in people’s words and actions personally – where if they say something in which I perceive to be mean / inconsiderate I make it personal and attach it to the self-victimization personality where I feel bad about myself and blame my experiences on the other person instead of realizing how people act and speak to me is only a reflection of how they speak/act towards THEMSELVES and thus their words/behaviors cannot affect me unless I allow them to affect me!!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify why I am not happy and why I cannot enjoy myself due to the conditions I work in and people I work with using justification to place blame outside of myself that it’s other people’s faults and the system for my misery instead of realizing I can enjoy me and express me in all conditions. I realize I separated myself way too much to out there – meaning I have placed my focus too much for too long outside of myself – blaming people, the environments and my situation for my unhappiness and unfulfillment, not considering or finding ways to come back in touch with me, and find inner joy and peace within me wherever I am

I commit myself to find fulfillment through the in breath and out breath and the realization I have a choice to decide who I am going to be

I commit myself to forgive, change, move and apply a living word when I see myself blame or feel down about my life/situation/people in my life as I realize I have a choice to – despite hardships – find the joy in little things

I commit myself to STOP thinking/believing/throwing blame on others for making me miserable and bring the point back to me to see where I have shifted out of myself and implement a new word I can enjoy/live in

 

TO BE CONTINUED…

 

 

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

 

281. Affection

jordan-whitt-145327Affection:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect affection to love, and believe if I do not get/receive affection from others, I am not loved. I realized love is only is but a word and real love is in action/deeds towards self and others as what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a state of victimization and pity when I think/believe I have not received much affection from my mom.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to firmly believe I am not loved, by anyone, instead of realizing I have defined love as someone having FEELINGS for you, positive feelings instead of living word as actions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deeply desire to be touched instead of touching myself, deeply in ways only I know I can touch/be touched

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to physically express affection to/for me through self massage of feet, or simply hugging me, to show me, I am here for me, I love me and I show me that love, that ”I am here for me,” through self-hugs and massage (like feet)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel neglected by others in my life through the idea I am neglected because I am not or have not been given enough affection

I firmly believe love to be shown through affection. What is the kind of affection I would like? I would like a real hug of appreciation, of recognition of I am here, a real touch of endearment, feeling whole, nurtured. I realize I can make myself whole, nurture myself … I know I like being touched, so I should touch me more, simply as a point of self-recognition and affection, of ”I am here for you,” no matter what – I am here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a extreme state of neglect, worthlessness and lifeless towards the idea/belief I was never given affection by my mother instead of realizing how this is is manipulative and I do not know for sure if my mom has never given me affection through all her moments with me – thus I stop giving into the self-pity/self-victimization as I realize the times/moments with my mom is gone – as I am separate from her physically and I can only nurture and support me with/from affection as physical expression of touch to show me that I am here for me – that I love me – that I am ok

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss my parents and wish my parents to hug me and give me affection/touch as expressions of care, that they are here for me instead of standing as my own rock, the parents I want to be and hug me/embrace me

I commit myself to hug me as a way to show and indicate to myself that I am here for me through thick and thin – what I go through, I am here and will be there/”here” for me, even if I am alone, I have me and can hug me as I please and need.

I commit myself to – when I feel the need to be nurtured or to feel like I need something/someone when I am feeling low/alone, to hug me or touch me/massage me as indication that I am here for me, and will support/guide me as necessary to do what I need to do in this day/moment

Living Word – Redefinition of Affection: A physical touching/holding/hugging of (self’s) body as an act of appreciation/hereness/support for self – as a physical reminder to self is here for self, through thick and thin, and will support/guide self as necessary until self is complete/whole

 

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

 

 

280. Compliment Me… Make Me Feel Better

william-stitt-151774Depend on others to give me compliments to make me feel better about myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend/expect/need people to give me compliments and make me feel better when I am online or when I post something because I have connected that to it making me feel better about myself and validating/justifying the idea that I am an okay person, there is nothing bad/wrong with me.  I realize such experiences of feeling better/good about myself from compliments/positive and supportive comments only last temporarily and are thus not a solution for long term happiness/self-acceptance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that receiving compliments from others are more important than developing and being self-acceptance in it’s pure form/expression. I realize the only true form of self-love/self-acceptance is if self develops, lives and IS it absolutely/completely

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear feeling bad for myself/of myself if I don’t receive the compliments I wanted/needed/expected to receive, because I have for some reason in my life decided that other’s words and comments are more valuable/important than my words I decide to live, express, move and become. I realize that by wanting/needing/expecting certain words/compliments from people to make me feel better only separates me more from truly developing a healthy relationship with me, self-love and self-acceptance

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to develop self-love and self-acceptance. I realize the only way to truly develop these words is to see where/how I am not living them – like what memories/experiences are defining me that are keeping me stuck where I seek love/acceptance through others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate me from being self-love and self-acceptance as who I am, as my own unique expression and understanding

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others saying things to me that hurt ‘my feelings’ instead of realizing I can only feel hurt or fear getting hurt from certain words/sayings from people if I actually believe/give value to what people say about me/to me and somehow live those words/expressions myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being judged as a bad person, for what I have done or who I am, not realizing that which I fear are points I have not yet resolved or forgiven, but still hold onto and define as me – things I am embarrassed about or ashamed about but have not yet faced. This I realize is the key to actually getting to self-acceptance/self-love is to face the dark side of me, the mistakes, consequences, unawareness, actions I have made through spite and/or emotions and FORGIVE MYSELF OF THEM, bringing these points to understanding and change

I commit myself to identify all the memories I am ashamed or embarrassed to look at because I realize by facing them, understanding who I was in the memory, how I created myself to be that, and forgive them, I open/allow me the opportunity to change and redefine who I am – become a new me I can be proud of

Additional Support

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

279. UPTIGHT

jeffrey-wegrzyn-183858Do you ever fear others telling you are this and that? Like fear having people say this or that word about you? I discovered the fear of being called ”uptight” recently and decided to open up my relationship to the word here in this blog.

Within this is the fear of others defining, seeing and judging me as uptight because according to me, these characteristics are negative things to be, that people don’t like it, hey, even I don’t like it when others are what I define as ”uptight.”

I realized what I fear people saying/calling/judging me are words I fear becoming and also to confront me on where I’m living/acting out those words, because of my judgements towards them. So it’s really a matter of understanding and clearing the word in me and see if it can be turned into word of support.

My definition of Uptight: can’t relax, constantly stressed and only focused/obsessed on one thing, and because of that can disregard or not consider others because you’re so focused/obsessed/driven in stress and fear over this one thing and only wanting to get it done.

How I lived the word uptight: I was uptight with a project I managed with other women, wanting and trying to make it perfect… my only focus was on the project and making sure it’s going well with no problems. I existed in fear of things going wrong and fucking up so my time more focused on managing, building the project and doing things for the project than getting to know people within it.

So I was uptight because I felt like it was my sole/prime responsibility to take care of the project, like a mother but I was uptight because I was on it constantly, fixing it, managing it, changing things, fixing things asap or urging people to fix things asap. It was my obsession, my drive because it was my creation and I felt responsible for making it the best project ever. Yet I did not use the time equally to balance my work/effort I put in the project to developing and establishing better relationships with everyone to make sure all is cool. This is a lesson for me to learn – to not be so driven in FEAR and so focused on PERFECTING a project/creation, but to accept that it will not and can not ever be perfect and fit what you want. Best to work well with the team and learn as you go and laugh (and learn) at the mistakes and just move forward.

So I will walk self forgiveness where I forgive me for being uptight and even forgiving the emotional connections and words to being uptight.

my definition of the word ”uptight,” -someone who is bitchy and unable to relax because they are obsessed and/or stressed about something and will in that stress act out mean/bitchy to others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge those who are to me “uptight” 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word “uptight”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others who live the word uptight

I commit myself to realize being uptight is combination of emotions and thoughts that self builds to live/express to be unable to relax, and exist/live out in emotions like stress, fear and anger.

I commit myself to realize that when people go into uptightness it’s mostly because they have not understood their own creation/making of getting there, and do not have the awareness nor tools on how to get them out of that state, thus –

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people  when I see them as UPTIGHT – which is someone who is stressed and/or unable to relax and thus they are mean/bitchy/inconsiderate to others, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that they are living out emotions/stress from the definition of the word without awareness of how they created themselves there in the first place

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear towards being perceived as someone who is uptight because I define being uptight as someone who is bitchy and acts bitchy to others and I fear being like that

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that if you are uptight you are a bad person, because of how you treat others from/through living uptightness, and from this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being uptight, to be seen or defined by others as being uptight because I have given the word/expression a bad/negative definition/label

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect being uptight to being bad/a bad person by justifying how you treat others because of your uptightness is bad and makes you a bad person – instead of realizing that many factors and reasons are behind why a person acts out and is the way they are when living uptightness – that they are unaware of it, nor have the tools or capability to move/walk themselves out of it, or unable to understand themselves in the relationship towards being uptight. So within this I am humble in realizing when people are uptight it’s because they have no tools or skills or awareness of understanding how to move/get out of it, so instead just walk/live the uptightness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being uptight because if I am uptight I am bitchy, and I fear being bitchy, instead of embracing the bitchiness and understanding myself in relation to the word/expression.

I commit myself to walk and understand who am I as uptightness so I am able to understand how to walk out of it and into a more supportive living word/expression that I can show and teach to all

I commit myself to understand who I am towards bitchiness within living/being uptight and my fear of being bitchy/uptight

This I will continue in my next blog post. Thanks for reading.

EQAFE Support:

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Additional Support

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

273. Facial Appearances and What Really Matters

5f8i3ckeswk-abi-lewisI was talking to my mom today and she mentioned how she was watching old movies of her and her family — featuring her specifically as a teenager and young adult.

She commented that she was surprised by how big (chubby/bloated) her face was, when she was younger (and she made specific gestures to show the wideness of how her face was). I reacted to this in surprise because she had these cheeks/wide face during the same years as me (teens and early 20’s) and she looked similar to me.

My face and cheeks were a very big insecurity of mine when I was younger, because to me it was big/fat/chubby, and I was surprised to see the same judgement within my mom towards her own face/cheeks when she was younger. It made me realize that perhaps I got this judgement condition from my mom and also that I have probably wasted so much time and energy judging and worrying about my face (it was a huge concern for me) because I defined it as not pretty, as a real big problem.

So I mentioned to my mom I also had a similar big/chubby face when I was her age, and she said, yes and now your face is thinner. I reacted to this because of the idea that having a big chubby/bloated face is unattractive/a problem. But what makes me most sad is the realization of how much of my time and energy I spent worried and insecure about my face – like it was huge deal for me – this point of unattractiveness — I wonder what else I could have done in my time if I had not worried and been so insecure of my face…

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my face and it’s shape negatively by defining and believing my face and it’s shape to be unattractive and not worthy enough in the system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become insecure of my face and how it looked like at school as a preoccupation to exist and fuel in worry to prevent me from enjoying my life and experience at school

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value to how a face looks by defining and judging me or someone according to how their face looks INSTEAD of seeing through that and into who that person is. I realize we are so conditioned in this world/society to define a person according to how their face looks like, where we interpret and judge and ‘think’ we know how or who someone is based on their face instead of getting to know oneself and another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think having a nice/attractive face is important, when I realize it is only ”important” in the system as the system supports beauty/attraction and not beingness expression. I realize there are so many gifted, beautiful people in this world that are not defined by how they look – but as so because of what exists within. Only the system gives speciality and priority to those who look a certain way, and this certain way is subjective and only according to one’s eye and not as a universal, collective agreement by all on what is truly ‘beautiful / attractive’ within the context of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my attention, focus and value to appearances – facial appearances by defining, thinking and believing facial appearances are important – more important than the expression from within. I realize that perhaps the reason why beauty is so important in the world system is because people of beauty are most likely to get better opportunities in life. Look at celebrity life – gossip papers love pointing out flaws and ‘imperfections’ as problems and points to highlight AS IF these things are bad or unacceptable. I mean, who really makes the final call on beauty?

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize how much time and energy was spent on appearance – the worries, the insecurities as parts of self-hate that took over my focus / living participation, as if how I look is what matters – when it is really who I am inside – and that I would not want me to waste so much time, resources and energy on something so futile when it is who I am and how I can become a better person and contribute to a world best for all is what matters.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become sad upon realizing how much time, energy and preoccupation I’ve spent focused, worrying and becoming insecure about how big my face is, or how it looks – since I realize how minute and little such a point is, that I made into a mountain – that I have wasted so much creative potential in during that time, I could have used to explore my interests and do something beneficial for me and others…I realize I am still here, that I don’t need to anymore focus on labeling or judging my face – but simply to take care of me as the physical body – to make sure I simply look presentable / normal in the system (like having hair combed, but not obsessing/going crazy over how I should look but keep it simple), and really spend 99% of my time applying real time change techniques on walking my process in becoming a better person, as well as putting in effort and attention to studying, and working within the system to contribute in change.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize how I have taken and implemented my mother’s judgement system towards facial appearances – through giving / placing judgement negatively on faces that are big / chubby, and within that, not realize how I manifested insecurity towards my face and allowed my face to become the sole focus of worry when it comes to how I look. Because the face is the first thing a person looks at – I worried people would judge me negatively the moment they see my face and not give me a chance, to get to know me. I see I exist in this same point…

I commit myself to focus on the person as the BEING, not as the face when I meet someone

I commit myself to shift my focus and attention on who a person is when I see them or talk to them – as I realize someone’s facial appearance is only 1% important compared to the 99% importance of who they are within

I commit myself to take care of my body, and to use my body to support me in this life to participate in activities and contribute in the creation of bringing change in this world…

 

To be continued…

 

Additional Resources:

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

271. Standing up to Teenagers?

rgj-nu_qwjm-haley-phelpsToday I had to remind two pre-teen girls in front of their friends to clean up the mess they left for a mouse cage they cleaned today at school. It is through the school philosophy the students (and teachers!) need to clean up after themselves. Though the girls basically tried to skirt around doing this – coming up with answers like the cleaning man should do it…basically finding a way out of it. I reacted to their laziness and blamed this generation for being inconsiderate, spoiled and lazy.

I know not all children / pre-teens are like this, but I have encountered several of them in the school establishment I work at.

The problem was that I caved in and let the point go because I didn’t know how else to direct them. I gave up on them, on the point because I was scared of being firm with them and was also scared of them refusing to help me even despite me being very firm and standing up to them.  I ended up cleaning their mess, though I regret it because they really should have done it.

From this, I have considered if many parents do this – they don’t know how to be firm and stand up in assertiveness to their children in showing them what they need to do in consideration of themselves and others, so they end up doing the work for them, and thus this allows the child to go through life having adults or people doing things for them…

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having pre-teens / teens stand up to me and say no on something I need them to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pre-teens / teens make fun of me in front of others / their peers instead of realizing this could only happen if they allow it and are not alone – because if they were alone, it is most unlikely they would make fun of me

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the power of ‘strength in numbers’ meaning, that 2 or more individuals who agree and stand together on a point, will continue to stand/live out that point, such as for example, refusing to help out the community by cleaning up after themselves, so they stand together on the point, refusing to help, thus making it harder for the adult / other individual to move / suggest / push them to do what is required / needed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame this upcoming generation of pre-teens and teenagers through defining / labeling them as lazy, spoiled and inconsiderate – not realizing they are the product of our (adults) collective acceptance and allowance of how we participate, and exist in through and as the mind consciousness system – meaning, this generation is  but a result of how we as adults are existing within towards our internal and external experiences towards our personal lives and this world system

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be quite thorough and clear to the pre-teens / teenagers about what is required of them to do – such as explaining to them the philosophy and requirements of participating in the school environment, that it is expected of them to clean up after themselves because everyone else does, so to please finish what they started, instead of allowing someone else to do their job for them. Also, within this I realize that if they do not listen to me I can go to additional support / other teachers to help me with this point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to succumb into fear of ridiculing myself in front of pre-teens / teenagers who were not listening to me / doing what I suggested they do because I was afraid of being ridiculed or made to look stupid in front of them. I see I am afraid of looking weak in their eyes, where they will call me names or make fun of how I look – not realizing these fears indicate WEAKNESSES I still need to strengthen within me.

I also realize that I should have pulled the two pre-teen girls aside to talk to them privately because then perhaps their friends’s presence would not influence them. I do think friend’s and status / ego is a big importance in a pre-teen / teens life (unfortunately) which can influence their interaction with adults or doing things they self-honestly need to do. If only we could have  base foundation of relationships within self-support and self-honesty then it would be really cool. To get there, it takes us adults to stand as living examples for our children, the youngsters – showing and teaching what it means to live and co-exist with living things.

 

I commit myself to stand as a living example for our youth, showing them what it means to live / be considerate, motivated, expressive and kind in this world by first doing it and living it through me.

I commit myself to communicate myself thoroughly in explaining why something needs to be done so the individual(s) can understand more clearly – and communicate myself until I am clear within me and I said everything that needed to be said / expressed

I commit myself to walk / work through my weaknesses as personal insecurities towards how I look and am within me

I commit myself to consider the friend-factor when asking a pre-teen / teen to do something – that friends do have a major influence on them, so to place more consideration of this point of external influence of decisions the pre-teen / teen makes for themselves

I commit myself to show and teach the youth how to speak up and stand up independently for what you believe in and stand for, as to not compromise yourself by first not compromising myself / not giving in to points / weaknesses that come forth from my mind. I work on this practically by identifying intimately with myself my weaknesses so I can then work towards BUILDING/STRENGTHENING those weaknesses myself.

 

 

Additional Resources:

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

267. Clearing Judgements on People Who Drop out of School

photo-1417577792096-106a2c4e353dI noticed family programming in me that I accepted and allowed to exist and influence who I am when it comes to career and education…

I grew up in a household where education and going to college is important. You basically have no choice and must go to college, or else you will get hounded and judged by family, and it is actually looked down upon in my family and with my other aunts and uncles, so it is also an ego/image point that family members maintain by making sure their children follow through in going to school / college– because it’s all about looking good in front of the family.

This means that if you drop out or go an alternative route, this will not good look in the eyes of family. This is looked down upon, and you look low-class / less than what you should be / look like.

It’s really screwed up because that means we define each other by education and status instead of who one is, as a human being / beingness expression. Especially when it is in family, which is meant to be an intimate, safe group for individuals to develop and grow, this is not the case in real life when survival, ego and status is more important than the individual and their potential. Quite sad, but there is that potential in all of us to change.

Self-Forgiveness:

Judgement on dropping out / not finishing college* (*University can also be used instead of college)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people who drop out of college

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and label people who drop out of college as bad

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question what does it mean to be a bad person, and does it really make/define someone as bad if they drop out of school? I realize how limited I am in defining who or what someone is bad based on a decision

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look down upon people who drop out of college or not finish school

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be disgusted by people who drop out of college or do not complete school by thinking they are scum and should be ashamed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect people who drop out of school to those who work in fast food restaurants or clean toilets for a living, and from this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and see people less than me who work in fast food restaurants or clean toilets because the job they do is not favorable and also looked down in society

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that those who drop out of college / don’t finish school are disgusting and scum and should be disregarded

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am better and have the right to judge people who drop out of college or don’t finish college instead of seeing, realizing and understanding there are many reasons and factors as to why someone drops out / does not finish, so best to understand them than judging them so quickly

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that college is not for everyone in this world, and that just because someone doesn’t go to college or drops out of it does not make them anymore less than everyone else on this planet. It simply indicates that they made a choice and there is no need to judge them on this choice since the choice is made by each one individually

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and believe people who drop out / don’t finish college are weak and are someone to look down upon in shame, instead of realizing how I have no right to do this / be this and actually I should be the one shamed because I do not in fact know the reasons and factors as to why this person dropped out / did not finish school yet I judge so quickly and think of myself as better than them for it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that just because someone didn’t finish school / dropped out does not make them less than me, and –

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the other person as less than me / not good enough in my mind when I think about how they didn’t finish school / dropped out of college, where in my mind I place them a level below me and I look down at them from a level above

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand equal and humble with the person who dropped out of college / did not finish school and support them as much as I would want to be supported in this life

We are so quick to judge than understanding others for the decisions they make. Let’s start the stopping of judgements and shift our focus in understanding and helping each other develop into our utmost potentials.

I commit myself to live in humbleness instead of superiority when I am with people I typically react in superiority towards and get to know these people so I can see more of who one is

I commit myself to understand the reasons and factors behind why a person dropped out of college / school within understanding and humbleness

I commit myself to remind me that just because someone drops out of college does not mean that they are less than me because we are all equal here on this planet, regardless of education and status. We are all living human beings sharing this planet together

I commit myself to realize and remind myself that another’s decision to drop out of school does NOT define them who they are totally – and that who they are is much more than this decision

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Additional Resources:

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

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263. The Me in Process

photo-1427324301858-41039f1e0c32I’ve been inspired by Dan’s blog: Self-Agreement and Anna’s Living the Word Me, so will write a similar topic of my own 🙂

ME has also been a word I’ve been using as a bridge-support-word when I see myself in a consciousness mind point, such as backchat, and I want to go into the self-sabotage point of giving up/not directing myself, so I’ve been practicing when I see myself in this self-sabotage mind consciousness system point, I bring up the word ME, in the agreement and realization I actually as ME want to do this/walk this process/want to suppot me and stop this sabotage.

So I will move from consciousness as existing in backchats for example, to bringing up the word ME, in establishing that starting point of doing this process for me, (because it’s actually something I want to do!!! I want to better myself, create a better me, better life for me and all) and then I move myself to the appropriate self-forgiveness.

I will share some Self-Forgiveness that came up for me when I was experiencing fear. I looked at ME and saw what would be most supportive was to write out SF tonight:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk my process in fear because I don’t want to end up in consequence of NOT walking it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that if I fear consequence for not walking process, and walk as that fear, then my starting point is not real, not for me, genuinely and thus walking process from/within fear will not work in the end

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not getting or being given the chance to walk process again because of the idea I already fucked up, instead of accepting my position here, and realizing I am still here, breathing, thus I still have the opportunity to walk and correct myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like process is so daunting, and scary due to the absoluteness that it entails, meaning, you either walk process for yourself or not, and that when you face life you must stand equal/absolute to it or not, and that is it. I realize it is so because life will not accept anything less of itself, and it’s about time life comes through in existence, and that actually, it is best for me and for all to stand up for life, because it is what I want and for everyone to have!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the absoluteness of life because to me that means no more deceiving, bullshitting, hiding, avoiding, but taking responsibility and directing yourself to/as your utmost of what you can be. I realize it is so easy to fall into the trap of self-interest because I’ve/we’ve been existing as such for SO MANY YEARS it is going to take dedication and commitment to create oneself into/as Life. I realize I must embrace and accept what is here, as me, as the manifestation of me as the world, as what I see and from that ACCEPTANCE, can then move and change

Acceptance has been a word I’ve been living today – accepting my reality, accepting process and where I’m at. I know once you get to that point of acceptance, you can only move forward to change.

I commit to actually really walk me within self-support, self-love, doing this process for me, for real, changing myself that will support in changing the world

I commit myself to live the word ACCEPTANCE – accepting my reality as is, accepting where I am as is, because it is REAL in fact, and because who I am in the moment is real, and what I see in reality is real, I must accept it as is yet MOVE myself from this acceptance into self-change, practically by walking through each point/thought/backchat personality of my mind that does not serve me, nor support me in creating my best self, and move into correcting the past and creating new

I commit myself to use the word ME as a bridge between self-sabotage and support, where when I see myself want to avoid, blame, justify and/or hide from not taking responsibility of my mind/directing my points, I use the word ME as the reminder of why I want to walk this process, and as that Me of/as self-support, move to the necessary forgiveness, writing, or whatever I see supportive in the moment. I do this process for ME, as what is best for ME and all.

 

Additional Resources:

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

260. Walking through Competition

Last Remaining PassengerI found a reaction towards people who supposedly seem to copy me/my work and use it for their work. There’s the want to take all the credit, want to be the only one known for something or have done something. But it’s impossible cause when work is shared and open and available people can use it, or become inspired by it.

What I realised within this is you will never win, there is never a most successful person. Success is defined subjectively and differently by everyone. Kim Kardashian can be known as the biggest star for some, even herself, but there is always competition, always someone or a few people one sees as fighting their way to rise to the top. Competition is a tricky nasty thing, but it’s existent in all of us.

And the point is – it will never go away unless we change our relationship to it. We can use it in healthy ways, instead of destructive ways. There is a solution to every problem.

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in protectiveness over my own professional work when I see another has produced/created similar professional work like me because I think that they have stolen a part of my work/creation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel defensive when I interpret/think that someone has copied me and my work and used it for their own work/benefit

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear when I think/interpret/question if someone took/copied my work when I see their work and compare it to mine and see similarities/expressions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear when I compare my work to another’s work and see similarities by thinking/believing that they want to be better than me. From this I realise I am existing in paranoia, thinking and believing another is deliberately trying to be better than me/one up me by taking my work and making it their own and/or better.

I realise that real copying of someones work is actually replicating/using the original copy or creating it similarly deliberately. I also realise I need to purify the word ‘’copy/copying.’’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others copying my work, and doing so deliberately for their own self-interested benefit where I lose out of success and opportunities to succeed because someone was able to make profit or get more out of it than me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear to the thought/idea that someone took and copied part of my work to make their work look good or better

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger towards the idea that the person who has similar expression/work like me must have sneakily studied my work and took what she like with the intent of being better than me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others taking my work and using it for their own self-interest benefit of being more/better than me and rising to the top

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear when I see work similar to mine by thinking they want to be better than me and within that, actually fear and create imaginations of how they could be better than me. Within this I realise this fear then creates the desire for me to work more, and harder to do what I believe will look and be better.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand the drive to be better, and produce better work actually comes from the fear of others also creating themselves and their to succeed and be better than me, so that there is only one good product/producer of the work. I realise that this is what companies do (like cell phones) where they take from each others ideas and use them to create something more and better so they can be original/unique/the best, not realising that eventually their unique/great idea will be copied or taken and then used by the competition to create something better/more unique, thus perpetuating the cycle of driving self wanting to be at the top instead of creating a product that will benefit all, and support all in actually stopping the entire survival/competition construct in the first place!!

I also realize this is how the mind is – where the mind wants MORE – more energy and will do what it can to keep it’s survival continuing by fueling itself as it’s systems. I guess this is why we fear stopping our mind cause we believe stopping the mind we will die – when it’s that the mind is a system we are fueling and when we stop fueling the mind we realize we are more than the mind, but actually beings in our physical bodies. The key is showing people how we are not the mind, but much more than that. And when everyone walks through their mind, and releases themselves as the systems of the mind, can the system of the world really change.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise the nature of competition, which is based on self-interest in wanting more, either money, or more chances/security of survival, to be at the top, and self will drive self naturally to do what they see is best for them in context of succeeding and getting more…because self is exiting in FEAR and lots of it instead of equally wanting to help self and others in creating a world best for all

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to question the nature of competition and what life would be like if survival ceased to exist, if everyone had the security and safety of their life, absolutely

and I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to work towards a solution in creating a world where fear of survival is non-existent, and life and living is real/absolute. I realise the reason why I have not committed 100% to working towards this ideal world/heaven on earth is because I have given more value to my fears, survival and living, which really is tricky then to create something new like a world without fear if one is already in fear about their life/survival, how can you really move on and create when you are stuck in fears?

I commit myself to stop and breathe when I see myself wonder or fear if someone took/copied from me and my work. I realize I do not know in fact if they did and really it does not matter in the end because what really matters is contributing to a world that guarantees a life for everyone where fear of survival doesn’t exist.

I commit myself to stop fueling the fear of whether someone is intentionally wanting to be better than me, since if I fuel it than I will then drive myself in fear to want to be better than them when the entire point of working for a world best for all is missed.

I commit myself to shift my focus and thinking to working on myself to create a world best for all instead of how I can rise to the top with my own work, since rising to the top is an ILLUSION, just like how the mind makes things in your head seem real.

 

 

More support: Purifying Competition

Additional Resources:

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships