Being the Creator of my Own Stress – 306

alex-iby-221654-unsplashIt’s a funny title isn’t it? Being the creator of my own stress. But I realise I am…and reality showed me that with the following:

I was alone in my apartment. I usually work at home, so I was at the table doing my work. It was quiet outside with the occasional chatter of my neighbors. I got no demanding texts from my boss that triggered stress – I found the stress I had come from me PRESSURING myself in a sense of urgency and impatience to get my work done as soon as possible so I can move onto other things.

I became like an authoritarian, suppressing the life and voice of the calm, common sensical me and pushed and drove myself hard within rigidness and no mercy within my work. 

I found the back story or reason behind my personality – the honesty point being “I don’t like my work and this is not what I want to do. I have no choice but must do it” so within a state of helplessness (cause I have to do it) and anger (because I dont want to do it) I then push myself to do my work in a state of impatience and stress – wanting to get the work done as soon as possible so I can move onto things I want or need to do. 

Memories of doing math homework with my mother represents this point well for me. When she would help me with my math homework both of us would be angry and stressy because I had to do the homework (but didn’t know how to and needed my moms help) and both of us wanted to do other things but essentially felt locked down we had to do it. So my mother would get impatient with me (because I was slow/didnt get it) and I would get stressed/scared. 

The bottom line being: we were reacting accordingly because we didn’t want to do what was in front of us in the moment – but it had to get done – but we knew it was going to be a process and struggle and cause some discomfort in between. It was going to test our patience too. And we made it worse for ourselves reacting on top of what we were expecting – the struggle, strife and pain. 

And let’s be honest – no one wants to go through that. We rather avoid or cope or suppress from the hard painful things because we know if we jump in and walk in the challenging moments we are going to struggle, fall, maybe cry and punch our pillow – so who has time for that and wants to go through that? 

We see challenges and things we don’t want to do but must as these jaw clenching obstacles – but we make it worse for ourselves by REACTING towards what we have to do and thus create stress. 

We miss out on the journey itself if we are already reacting towards it.  The journey being the ups and downs, realizations, and yes experiencing the emotions that’s also a normal natural part when you embark on a journey. The key is to work through them as much as you can in every moment of breath.

This is something I’m still learning – is slowing down and being more attentive to what is going on internally while having to do work externally. For so long I would lose myself in work, in the moment, hardwired and driven I wouldn’t eat or drink. But now I’m learning how to balance being present internally and externally. 

Though it is hard if you are expected to act fast in the job. At this stage in my life my job does not require me to work and act fast that is something I created for myself and added all the stress to it.

Now I will be practicing slowing down as I work, and seeing what it’s like when I walk with me on the journey of work from my start time to end time.

I will also redefine the word JOURNEY since it will be a journey for me to walk my job Mon-Friday.

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

 

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292. Response to: Considering the Small Things

full_considering-the-small-and-not-so-small-things-with-the-goatI listened to a fascinating recording called Considering the Small and Not So Small Things with the Goat. Sunette with her gift, portalled a goat and well.. there were many surprises in the recording, so I won’t spoil them for you 🙂

Instead I’ll share what I’ll be taking from this recording, and that is humanity needs guidance and support to become more aware about the small things and moments of living, of existing, and BEING. So we as Destonians — people walking a process of understanding who we are as a being and mind / consciousness, have the “advantage” — or the responsibility in a way — to when we can, share the lessons, insights, stories, and/or realizations that have worked for us or changed us, so individuals in NEED of support and guidance will benefit… it may just make their day or be a stepping stone into a huge change for their life.

I mean not sharing what I’ve walked, realized and changed in myself is counter productive of this process. So I will be walking my self honesty in sharing more of me not only for others, but for myself as well. I realize I can’t do something for others if I am not doing this for myself too. I genuinely do enjoy sharing what I see,  realize and do, but sometimes I allow other things to get in the way so I’m going to see how I can prioritize my sharings throughout the week and post more. 

Thank you for reading.

 

Recommended Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

289. Redefining Giving Up

joshua-earle-64814Give Up: Dictionary definitionTo yield control or possession of ; surrender

Self-Introspective Writing:  Giving up to me means the mind directs me without my decision — that somewhere somehow I allowed me to give up my self directive power and control to the mind.

The mind consists of many dimensional layers (conscious, subconscious, unconscious…) as well as thoughts, backchats, internal conversations, and many more. If I allow these parts of me to ‘run amok’ and go on and on I am allowing the mind to take over and control me, and thus I have given up my power to stop. Though I understand and realize I can always stop and stand up, in any given moment… 

If I am existing and experiencing something I don’t like, that compromises me or makes me do things I don’t enjoy, I must question who I am within it all – did I agree to live and be like this? Do I agree with who I am? If no – then I STOP – I say/proclaim in me I do not accept and allow me to be like this, live like this… then I forgive me for existing in that part/existence of being, then I stand and decide who I am going to be with a living word.

Personal example: There was a child in my classroom who was really difficult, and I allowed experiences of feeling helpless, disempowerment to control me (thus I gave in / gave up in the mind). This is because I was not honest with myself in being straightforward in acknowledging yes, this child is difficult but I am going to find a way to work with them and find solutions so things can be less challenging between us. 

So, whenever challenges come my way, both internally and externally, instead of giving up / giving into the emotional experiences of helplessness, victimization, resistance, I instead JOIN IN ON THE CHALLENGE and do what I can to find stability and solutions.

In the context of my process, I redefine GIVING UP as: Giving my power / self directive principle to the mind, allowing it control / influence me in a way that compromises me / diminishes me / makes me feel bad about myself.

Self-Correction: When and as I see myself give my power / my authority of the mind to thoughts, backchats, emotions, judgements, etc, I did not agree nor decide to be/exist like this, because I see it is not best for me / compromises me, I stop, breathe, forgive and move me to redefine and live a new word.

I accept challenges, both within my mind as myself, and my external world. I stop resisting, hiding and fearing challenges. I instead take them on, embrace them, because my mind and life processes is all about challenges, learning and moving through with them.

Thanks for reading.

 

Recommended Resources:

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

 

277. Solutions from a Teacher Towards Children Hitting/Abusing Each Other

michael-mims-130838I’m a Teacher Assistant in a kindergarten and recently I’ve been looking at my reaction in fear and stress when I see a child about to attack (before) or after the attack. The reaction comes from wanting to save the children and prevent, shelter them from abuse and harsh and sometimes violent behavior of children. Especially the ”innocent” who are so young/small and unaware of what is happening yet they will be victims of a child’s abuse.

The fact that bullying and hitting happens daily in the classroom makes me really concerned and worried for the wellbeing of the children. This is something I don’t want in the classroom, yet it is basically out of my control as I cannot control the children 100% and be aware of all the happenings of interactions at once to prevent everything bad/negative. Yes I have been able to stop things before they happened, but not all. I have spoken to many children during many conflicts, and yet the same behaviors happen over and over. There are a lot of factors to take into consideration about this: The happiness of the child, the way the situation/conflict is handled by the teacher, if the teacher has communicated the problem and solution well enough for the child to integrate it, parent-child relationship at home and relationship with conflict, social skills/lack of social skills…the list can go on as to the many reasons why a child hits and bullies in the classroom.

Looking at this more, I’ve come to see how we as adults exist in similar ways when it comes to harming others, like how children do – but in a more internal/controlled way. We allow ourselves to spite each other in our heads – saying mean things, imagining harming others because we’re upset and angry. Children are our reflection and do not have this control like us so they will act out on it in physical reality. Therefore, me reacting in fear is really pointless when I see children harming each other, either through thought, word and deed because on levels in me I must do the same.

Then it’s best to just get right to action in being able to deal with the aftermath of the conflict and find ways/solutions for such situations to be prevented in the classroom.

Self-Forgiveness & Commitment Statements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear and stress moments before I see a child hit or abuse another child as revenge towards something they are feeling/experiencing on an internal level. I realize that this type of response of revenge is our human nature, though not to be justified that it’s ok to exist in this, as seeking revenge or wanting to harm others when one feels a part of them is threatened allows the continuation of abuse on life on earth.

When and as I see myself feeling like a part of me is threatened and I want to seek revenge by making someone feel less / become weakened, I stop, I breathe and I understand what do I feel weakened in/threatened about,  and find solutions on how to direct the situation and strengthen my weakness so that I can exist in integrity and not cause unnecessary consequences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear and stress to the aftermath of when a child is hit or harmed because I fear they are going to be traumatized forever from that instead of realizing it is trauma enough the child has to live in a world where the humans around them exist on a mind consciousness level and not on a pure, physical life level, and thus have to deal with the words and actions from others who speak, act and think from consciousness instead of oneness and equality as life.

I commit myself to stand as an example for the children and children to come to stop participating in thoughts, emotions and ideas and instead understand them, direct them, clear them so that I can stand as a being not influenced by the mind as consciousness but stands for life

WORDS TO LIVE: Being an Example (for the children) of another way to live/be

I forgive myself thatI have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear toward the thought of the children are being traumatized from the accumulation of children hitting and abusing in the environment, instead of realizing this is just an idea I have, that I do not know how much a child can handle or process, and that taking care of my own reactions toward this point by not giving into fear is much more important – because each time I participate in fear with this idea, I am imprinting this into me and the physical, allowing such fears to continue and even manifest in the physical

I commit myself to stop thinking children are getting traumatized by the hitting and verbal abuse and instead realize the real trauma comes from consciousness and thus best for me to be purified of that, while finding solutions as a teacher/staff member to educate children on the consequences of their actions 

Additional Support

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

274. The Future of Education

rmhsymxupw0-jj-thompsonI want to share a few memories/points with you, that will be explained more clearly soon:

When I came back from holiday, and went to work (school) after greeting the children and settling myself back in the environment, no more than 5 minutes later there was a conflict between the children – in such a way where the teacher had to sit them down and talk the situation through with them. I remember when the teacher told me that when she went to school to become a school teacher, she was never given information on the ”how-tos” of dealing with conflict in the classroom, so she had to figure it out on her own.

That evening I watched a bit of reality TV (I don’t want TV much) and was mesmerized with the amount of drama that some of the characters were going through, that took them over to the extent where that is all they thought and fought about. I looked within myself and realize how these little things do become such ”big deals” as points of preoccupation and distraction for the mind, especially if one doesn’t have the skills or development on how to deal with such points.

Then I looked at my Snapchat app and browsed through the Entertainment section where it was full of gossip, bright colors and designs – I could see the media manipulation – it was meant to grab attention to teenagers and young adults, yet in that moment I realized there is no LIFE SKILLS section – one where it shows how to properly handle a conflict, or how to deal with unresolved issues, or how to really accept your body… nothing of that nature to truly show and help human beings how to live in inner-harmony and peace with one another was there.

And that is because – there is no proper education given to all in this world in general of that. Yes, sure parents and individuals do teach us some life skills (ie: cooking, driving a car perhaps), but not to the extent of being able to understand ourselves as the mind/the thoughts we have, the emotions we feel, and how to co-exist with others in equality and harmony because there has never been a proper education of that – until now, where by the grace of Life/Existence, the Portal, EQAFE, and the Desteni i Process are here, sharing with us new information and life education. These resources have been here for about 10 years or so, slowly but surely incorporating new info, LIFE info, PRACTICAL info on how to understand oneself and how to walk and live effectively in this world.  These resources/online channels are one of a kind and is exactly what humanity needs — especially what the children of today will need in life because they WILL become the leaders of the world, and they need as much support and practical life education needed on how to function effectively in this world as possible.

This world system that has been built slowly but surely and created by us, humans and we have to consider the state we will leave the Earth to the children when we die. The children will have to experience what we’ve done to the planet as they get older and have to work in the system, where they will go through life’s ups and downs… these kids will need to know what to do and how to live effectively in this world.

We need a new education that focuses on how to work with the practical real world, and how to co-exist effectively with oneself and others (including animals, nature, objects etc), and I firmly believe the information through the Portal at EQAFE and Desteni i Process is the perfect start and resource for this. 

 

Additional Resources:

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

271. Standing up to Teenagers?

rgj-nu_qwjm-haley-phelpsToday I had to remind two pre-teen girls in front of their friends to clean up the mess they left for a mouse cage they cleaned today at school. It is through the school philosophy the students (and teachers!) need to clean up after themselves. Though the girls basically tried to skirt around doing this – coming up with answers like the cleaning man should do it…basically finding a way out of it. I reacted to their laziness and blamed this generation for being inconsiderate, spoiled and lazy.

I know not all children / pre-teens are like this, but I have encountered several of them in the school establishment I work at.

The problem was that I caved in and let the point go because I didn’t know how else to direct them. I gave up on them, on the point because I was scared of being firm with them and was also scared of them refusing to help me even despite me being very firm and standing up to them.  I ended up cleaning their mess, though I regret it because they really should have done it.

From this, I have considered if many parents do this – they don’t know how to be firm and stand up in assertiveness to their children in showing them what they need to do in consideration of themselves and others, so they end up doing the work for them, and thus this allows the child to go through life having adults or people doing things for them…

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having pre-teens / teens stand up to me and say no on something I need them to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pre-teens / teens make fun of me in front of others / their peers instead of realizing this could only happen if they allow it and are not alone – because if they were alone, it is most unlikely they would make fun of me

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the power of ‘strength in numbers’ meaning, that 2 or more individuals who agree and stand together on a point, will continue to stand/live out that point, such as for example, refusing to help out the community by cleaning up after themselves, so they stand together on the point, refusing to help, thus making it harder for the adult / other individual to move / suggest / push them to do what is required / needed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame this upcoming generation of pre-teens and teenagers through defining / labeling them as lazy, spoiled and inconsiderate – not realizing they are the product of our (adults) collective acceptance and allowance of how we participate, and exist in through and as the mind consciousness system – meaning, this generation is  but a result of how we as adults are existing within towards our internal and external experiences towards our personal lives and this world system

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be quite thorough and clear to the pre-teens / teenagers about what is required of them to do – such as explaining to them the philosophy and requirements of participating in the school environment, that it is expected of them to clean up after themselves because everyone else does, so to please finish what they started, instead of allowing someone else to do their job for them. Also, within this I realize that if they do not listen to me I can go to additional support / other teachers to help me with this point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to succumb into fear of ridiculing myself in front of pre-teens / teenagers who were not listening to me / doing what I suggested they do because I was afraid of being ridiculed or made to look stupid in front of them. I see I am afraid of looking weak in their eyes, where they will call me names or make fun of how I look – not realizing these fears indicate WEAKNESSES I still need to strengthen within me.

I also realize that I should have pulled the two pre-teen girls aside to talk to them privately because then perhaps their friends’s presence would not influence them. I do think friend’s and status / ego is a big importance in a pre-teen / teens life (unfortunately) which can influence their interaction with adults or doing things they self-honestly need to do. If only we could have  base foundation of relationships within self-support and self-honesty then it would be really cool. To get there, it takes us adults to stand as living examples for our children, the youngsters – showing and teaching what it means to live and co-exist with living things.

 

I commit myself to stand as a living example for our youth, showing them what it means to live / be considerate, motivated, expressive and kind in this world by first doing it and living it through me.

I commit myself to communicate myself thoroughly in explaining why something needs to be done so the individual(s) can understand more clearly – and communicate myself until I am clear within me and I said everything that needed to be said / expressed

I commit myself to walk / work through my weaknesses as personal insecurities towards how I look and am within me

I commit myself to consider the friend-factor when asking a pre-teen / teen to do something – that friends do have a major influence on them, so to place more consideration of this point of external influence of decisions the pre-teen / teen makes for themselves

I commit myself to show and teach the youth how to speak up and stand up independently for what you believe in and stand for, as to not compromise yourself by first not compromising myself / not giving in to points / weaknesses that come forth from my mind. I work on this practically by identifying intimately with myself my weaknesses so I can then work towards BUILDING/STRENGTHENING those weaknesses myself.

 

 

Additional Resources:

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

267. Clearing Judgements on People Who Drop out of School

photo-1417577792096-106a2c4e353dI noticed family programming in me that I accepted and allowed to exist and influence who I am when it comes to career and education…

I grew up in a household where education and going to college is important. You basically have no choice and must go to college, or else you will get hounded and judged by family, and it is actually looked down upon in my family and with my other aunts and uncles, so it is also an ego/image point that family members maintain by making sure their children follow through in going to school / college– because it’s all about looking good in front of the family.

This means that if you drop out or go an alternative route, this will not good look in the eyes of family. This is looked down upon, and you look low-class / less than what you should be / look like.

It’s really screwed up because that means we define each other by education and status instead of who one is, as a human being / beingness expression. Especially when it is in family, which is meant to be an intimate, safe group for individuals to develop and grow, this is not the case in real life when survival, ego and status is more important than the individual and their potential. Quite sad, but there is that potential in all of us to change.

Self-Forgiveness:

Judgement on dropping out / not finishing college* (*University can also be used instead of college)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people who drop out of college

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and label people who drop out of college as bad

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question what does it mean to be a bad person, and does it really make/define someone as bad if they drop out of school? I realize how limited I am in defining who or what someone is bad based on a decision

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look down upon people who drop out of college or not finish school

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be disgusted by people who drop out of college or do not complete school by thinking they are scum and should be ashamed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect people who drop out of school to those who work in fast food restaurants or clean toilets for a living, and from this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and see people less than me who work in fast food restaurants or clean toilets because the job they do is not favorable and also looked down in society

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that those who drop out of college / don’t finish school are disgusting and scum and should be disregarded

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am better and have the right to judge people who drop out of college or don’t finish college instead of seeing, realizing and understanding there are many reasons and factors as to why someone drops out / does not finish, so best to understand them than judging them so quickly

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that college is not for everyone in this world, and that just because someone doesn’t go to college or drops out of it does not make them anymore less than everyone else on this planet. It simply indicates that they made a choice and there is no need to judge them on this choice since the choice is made by each one individually

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and believe people who drop out / don’t finish college are weak and are someone to look down upon in shame, instead of realizing how I have no right to do this / be this and actually I should be the one shamed because I do not in fact know the reasons and factors as to why this person dropped out / did not finish school yet I judge so quickly and think of myself as better than them for it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that just because someone didn’t finish school / dropped out does not make them less than me, and –

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the other person as less than me / not good enough in my mind when I think about how they didn’t finish school / dropped out of college, where in my mind I place them a level below me and I look down at them from a level above

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand equal and humble with the person who dropped out of college / did not finish school and support them as much as I would want to be supported in this life

We are so quick to judge than understanding others for the decisions they make. Let’s start the stopping of judgements and shift our focus in understanding and helping each other develop into our utmost potentials.

I commit myself to live in humbleness instead of superiority when I am with people I typically react in superiority towards and get to know these people so I can see more of who one is

I commit myself to understand the reasons and factors behind why a person dropped out of college / school within understanding and humbleness

I commit myself to remind me that just because someone drops out of college does not mean that they are less than me because we are all equal here on this planet, regardless of education and status. We are all living human beings sharing this planet together

I commit myself to realize and remind myself that another’s decision to drop out of school does NOT define them who they are totally – and that who they are is much more than this decision

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Additional Resources:

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

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