295. A Gift in Social Media

rawpixel-com-256641Have you considered there is a certain gift to social media? That people who you want to avoid / wish could just ‘leave your life’ and not be there anymore somehow, sometime pop up on your social feed, that triggers a reaction/emotion in your solar plexus, for you to take responsibility for?

I looked at this point today where I saw I still have subtle reactions towards a particular person. A part of me wished that social media didn’t exist otherwise this person wouldn’t so much ‘pop’ up in my life to challenge who I am in the moment. Then I saw the gift to social media and that is for those moments of self-check in to see if I am stable, or if the opportunity to take responsibility for the reaction that came up is there.

So I will redefining my relationship to social media – one aspect being that when I am on one of the platforms, I use it as a self-check in to see who I am within it am I reacting or am I stable? When I see a person or read a certain piece of information on social media, I question: who am I in this moment?

So many questions and parts of me to explore 🙂

 

Recommended Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

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294. System Relationships & Who to Trust

josh-applegate-327763Something I notice in myself is the tendency to share too much personal info with friends/people ”I think” I can confide to, yet what I’ve recently noticed is information I’ve shared a few months ago on a point got spread / passed around through my social circle that I didn’t want spread.

Within this I have realized the best forms of sharing such personal information is between myself and my partner. Before I did not even THINK or consider my partner to be someone I could share things with, but through support from certain individuals walking process and a particular EQAFE recording I have now become more specific with who I share points with and am focusing more on developing a intimate relationship with my partner, where we will be there for each other no matter what and can provide a safe space for ourselves to share and gain support.

Ever since experiencing gossip of me shared in my inner circle, I have been creating a relationship of the following:

With co-workers, in the work environment: Living the word PROFESSIONAL and SUPERFICIAL. ”Small talk discussions” such as weather and clothes, but nothing too personal that is in a way, ”inappropriate” to the work environment and can harm my professional reputation. I’ve found especially in my environment, one piece of personal information gets spread within hours to the entire building, and people may not look at you or treat you the same way again. It is pretty serious, and I don’t think there is much awareness or education on how to be professional and separate your personal life from work. (Thank you to my DIP buddy for walking these words with me!).

With friends: To be honest, I have been letting go of people as of late – being extremely picky with who I spend my time with. I do not want to waste time meeting people, or going to parties and events I don’t need to go to, that is not aligned with who I am, or who I want to be. With ”friends of the system” I have to be extremely careful of how much I share because it has been shown we can’t trust that our friends can keep a secret, even if you FEEL they can, and they say they can, you don’t know and can’t trust that absolutely. Something between you and them can happen months or years down and BOOM all that personal information is exposed. This is why creating an agreement with yourself or another is so important because then you have that space to write out or discuss your most personal points, feelings, issues in a space meant for support and you develop a deep bond and strong trust of a lifetime.

So for me, with friends / system friends – for me it’s best to keep things FRIENDLY — sharing news and updates on life that will not be something I regret later down the line. This is a tricky area that I’m currently ”feeling out” and walking myself…

I suggest if you can, to look at your social areas in life and categorize them – work environment people, friends, family, partner – see and decide who you want to be in each of those social groups in life as well as the words within them. This is a new process I am starting for myself I am quite excited about 🙂

 

Recommended Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

293. Where Am I Responsible for This?

jc-bonassin-311020If you’re in a relationship, perhaps for you and your partner there are some topics of discussion that can get a bit heated. The other day I reacted intensely over a money point between me and my partner. As we took a break and I was with myself in the kitchen a memory of me on the farm came up, where I was sitting with individuals during an EQAFE recording and someone shared that when they were blaming their ex for what happened in the relationship they would ask themself “ok but where is my responsibility in all of this…” From that memory I saw/realized that whatever the situation/problem is between a couple, it is never about ONE PERSON – each person in the relationship had a part, a responsibility in the manifestation of the problem.

So when I was reminded of that moment in the memory I asked myself: ok, where is my responsibility in this (conflict)? Meaning, what part, or what steps did I take to get us to this point? This question grounded me into seeing my responsibility of the matter, the little parts I made and played that got us to the situation I’m in.

It was within the question that also in a way, diffused energy of the point, because the question was geared towards me, which gave me the opportunity to self-honesty assess where I played my part in the matter. Now, since I see my responsibility / what I’ve done that contributed to the money point, I know what to look out for and work on in my relationship with money with my partner.

 

Recommended Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

292. Response to: Considering the Small Things

full_considering-the-small-and-not-so-small-things-with-the-goatI listened to a fascinating recording called Considering the Small and Not So Small Things with the Goat. Sunette with her gift, portalled a goat and well.. there were many surprises in the recording, so I won’t spoil them for you 🙂

Instead I’ll share what I’ll be taking from this recording, and that is humanity needs guidance and support to become more aware about the small things and moments of living, of existing, and BEING. So we as Destonians — people walking a process of understanding who we are as a being and mind / consciousness, have the “advantage” — or the responsibility in a way — to when we can, share the lessons, insights, stories, and/or realizations that have worked for us or changed us, so individuals in NEED of support and guidance will benefit… it may just make their day or be a stepping stone into a huge change for their life.

I mean not sharing what I’ve walked, realized and changed in myself is counter productive of this process. So I will be walking my self honesty in sharing more of me not only for others, but for myself as well. I realize I can’t do something for others if I am not doing this for myself too. I genuinely do enjoy sharing what I see,  realize and do, but sometimes I allow other things to get in the way so I’m going to see how I can prioritize my sharings throughout the week and post more. 

Thank you for reading.

 

Recommended Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

291. Opening Yourself & Others Through Sharing

rawpixel-com-351766Today a friend of mine told me that her favorite subject in school was biology and her plan is to go to school to study more into it.  Later on that evening I asked myself the question: what subject did I like most in school? I scanned my memories from middle school – high school and saw “nothing” – more of a ‘dislike’ of school in general due to my shyness and relationship to the education system. So I moved to my college years and identified two subjects: a Persuasion class where we studied Greek philosophers and techniques on how to persuade people / the masses, and a Family communication class. 

From this I shared with my partner a memory of an assignment I had to do in my Family Communication class – I had to ask a family member to “rate” my physical attractiveness and my partner and I discussed how fucked up the assignment was (LOL). Then we discussed how we would respond as parents if our child had us do this assignment…we got the ball rolling discussing this point, and then after some moments of pause my partner then shared a memory from his time in high school and then we talked about that. Then I realized he was sharing a memory / time from his school days – a topic I use to request to please share but he’d draw a blank.

To explain more: I use to, in a way “force” or push my partner to share memories of when he was at school, because I was curious who he was at that time, but it was unnatural and my guy didn’t know what to say. This is similar to when me and him were on the Desteni farm and would ask people “tell me a story about Bernard” and they wouldn’t have a story – it was only when they shared themselves that a memory or timeline of something Bernard said or did would come up and they’d share. 

So I learned you can’t really force people to share something that is not HERE — the sharing must come naturally and by the decision of the person (whether they want to share in the first place or not). 

Featured Recording in Relation to this Blog: Sharing Ourselves in Conversations – Life Review

full_sharing-ourselves-in-conversations-life-review

In our lives and in our relationships with other people, we have developed the way that we communicate quite strangely: We tend to speak only about ourselves, about our own opinions and views, so that conversations become a competition wherein each person is trying to make their opinion the dominant one that squashes all other people’s opinions.

What would our interactions be like if we stopped this cycle and actually started to actively listen to and hear what other people have to say – and not just pretend to?

Purchase the recording here.

 

 

 

Recommended Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

290. Who or What Stood Out to You Today?

alex-harvey-34864From the Desteni forum post, a question was asked: If you look at your day today, have you noticed anything new / different about something or someone in your life? Did something / someone stand out to you? Were you in any way inspired today?

Today I was inspired by my co-worker. She had for quite some time seen herself as less-than others, and said to me she is not a good leader. Today she said in front of all of us that the director, who has been absent in answering our emails for quite some time, cancelled out on meetings, and paid little attention to us over the years is too busy for us, and so we are going to do the work ourselves in a way we like it, that works best for us. 

This was cool because she was very honest about our situation and like me, realized we can no longer depend on our director to direct and guide us – because the director has shown through their actions they are not effective for us, so we have to work together and guide ourselves.

We have been struggling the past year and it was cool that today this person, who is our manager, threw in the towel and said in a way ”fuck it, we’re doing his job our own way,” lol. From this it gave me more of a sense of freedom that now we have more power, control and ability to create a work space that accommodates everyone involved, and if the director has a problem with it, we can very clearly show, prove and state why we had to do this.

 

Recommended Resources:

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

289. Redefining Giving Up

joshua-earle-64814Give Up: Dictionary definitionTo yield control or possession of ; surrender

Self-Introspective Writing:  Giving up to me means the mind directs me without my decision — that somewhere somehow I allowed me to give up my self directive power and control to the mind.

The mind consists of many dimensional layers (conscious, subconscious, unconscious…) as well as thoughts, backchats, internal conversations, and many more. If I allow these parts of me to ‘run amok’ and go on and on I am allowing the mind to take over and control me, and thus I have given up my power to stop. Though I understand and realize I can always stop and stand up, in any given moment… 

If I am existing and experiencing something I don’t like, that compromises me or makes me do things I don’t enjoy, I must question who I am within it all – did I agree to live and be like this? Do I agree with who I am? If no – then I STOP – I say/proclaim in me I do not accept and allow me to be like this, live like this… then I forgive me for existing in that part/existence of being, then I stand and decide who I am going to be with a living word.

Personal example: There was a child in my classroom who was really difficult, and I allowed experiences of feeling helpless, disempowerment to control me (thus I gave in / gave up in the mind). This is because I was not honest with myself in being straightforward in acknowledging yes, this child is difficult but I am going to find a way to work with them and find solutions so things can be less challenging between us. 

So, whenever challenges come my way, both internally and externally, instead of giving up / giving into the emotional experiences of helplessness, victimization, resistance, I instead JOIN IN ON THE CHALLENGE and do what I can to find stability and solutions.

In the context of my process, I redefine GIVING UP as: Giving my power / self directive principle to the mind, allowing it control / influence me in a way that compromises me / diminishes me / makes me feel bad about myself.

Self-Correction: When and as I see myself give my power / my authority of the mind to thoughts, backchats, emotions, judgements, etc, I did not agree nor decide to be/exist like this, because I see it is not best for me / compromises me, I stop, breathe, forgive and move me to redefine and live a new word.

I accept challenges, both within my mind as myself, and my external world. I stop resisting, hiding and fearing challenges. I instead take them on, embrace them, because my mind and life processes is all about challenges, learning and moving through with them.

Thanks for reading.

 

Recommended Resources:

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation