Day 303: Seeing Beyond the Bad & Re-Balancing

mike-wilson-310597As I walking my Mind Construct through the Desteni I Process, I came upon a point that really struck me: It was how narrow minded I had become in seeing or believing only the ”bad” about someone — essentially staying stuck in a limited frame of mind, and not giving myself the opportunity to really LOOK at the person and see the multi dimensional aspects of them because they are more than what we define of them.

We don’t know who or what they are like alone with themselves or with their family or animals. But we have this tendency to want to stick to an idea we have about them because it then makes us feel justified and we stay stuck in this justification because it feeds a certain personality or experience or belief we have about ourselves.

Like for me staying stuck in the belief this person is a “horrible teacher” and justifying this belief by re-playing all the bad scenes or things they’ve done to me or with the students, instead of allowing myself to see beyond that and CONSIDER that there is more than what I saw and believe — but a part of me doesn’t want to knowledge that or see beyond my limited perception of them otherwise I will be challenged and my comfort zone will be challenged.

I also realize: If I allow myself to see and recognize the “good” and / or other aspects of me, I show myself that I am more than the bad I see…I am so much more.

Yes – the “bad” needs to be confronted and changed, but the good has to be strengthened just as well – equally so – in a consistent way so that a healthy balance is established within me.

So a new activity I will look into and start is how to practically balance the good/strengths and bad/weaknesses within me, so I am working equally on both of them and not focusing on just one aspect, because then I would only suppress and ignore the other – so both need to be faced and worked on to establish a healthy base for myself.

 

Recommended Resources:

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

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Day 302. Interacting Within & Without

charles-deluvio-456505There is a particular person in my life, who when I interact with them I become really tired and quiet in myself. I also in a way, like shut down and don’t really talk with them. It got to a point where I basically had enough of how I was experiencing, and I said to myself what am I exactly reacting to? Because if I get tired and shut down when I’m around this person that means I’m reacting to something they’re doing.

I found out by giving me the space,  and safety within to really look (and knowing that once I find out the answer I will do something about it), I found out I had a reaction to the content they were sharing and my thought was ”that doesn’t matter…this is not important,” so essentially judging what they are sharing with me, seeing it as pointless, and separating myself from them and the convo.

What I decided to do – because this was going on during a conversation – was I decided to start taking what they were sharing, and seeing what I could learn about it. So I shifted the focus to them them them oh what they’re sharing doesn’t matter to me, and adding me into it – what can I learn about me in what they are sharing?

For example, someone was sharing about their trip to a museum and how they enjoyed the antique signs, and I realized this person must like History… so I asked them if it’s true – if they like History, and they said yes, and then I looked at who else in my life likes History, and if I like History myself …this way creating a balance where I engage with me (internally in looking at who I am with a certain topic / situation) and engage without, by interacting with the person, and asking questions.

So by creating the balance of being involved within and without, the tiredness subsided and I was able to enjoy myself much more.

So this is but one example of how I moved me when I became tired/shut down from being with someone. I haven’t exactly transcended or understood the entire mind consciousness system point behind my tiredness/shutting down, but this is how I moved me in that moment, and it supported me 🙂

 

Recommended Resources:

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

Day 301: Starting Somewhere

michael-dam-258165About a year ago I requested a private interview through EQAFE about my position working with children and what to do with my life. My beingness came through and basically emphasized to me to just start somewhere – do something to get my ”feet wet” and exploring, and if I end up not liking what I’m doing then I try something else, OR something else may open up that I prefer to go into.

So it was through those words ”just start somewhere,” and realizing just because I start somewhere doesn’t mean I’ll forever be locked in it, but that by starting somewhere will allow me to get to other doors I can walk into / explore as well …

And so – I utilized that support and now a year later I am now moving into a direction that I am really excited about – something  I couldn’t have predicted or imagined but I got here because I took a step and I did something – I started to stay after school tutoring children for free with some behavioral issues. Over time, through walking this I was able to find more of where my passions lay, and a goal I would like to bring into manifestation within the coming years.

My partner who struggled with what to do with himself is also starting to find more of a direction. He began dabbling in painting and martial arts, and by getting involved in these activities, he is creating exceptional work and creating his own martial arts process (noting down his realizations in a notebook he would like to publish in a blog someday and make something out of it).

All of this with what my partner and I walked couldn’t have happened without a couple of things:

  1. From the support of beings through the Portal – through EQAFE / individual consultations from them and through people in the Desteni community. They helped us settle a foundation within ourselves.
  2. The decision within ourselves to do it – to do something – even if it as small as picking up your head and going to that class 3 times a week, or staying at work an additional 3 hours 3 times a week to help out children to see if this is an area you want to work in… it really does come down to deciding on something to do, even if it is small, and just do it – commit to maybe 30 days or a month of doing it consistently to see / assess if this is something you want to do. But do SOMETHING because you may never know where life will take you.

I also want to recommend the interview From Drifter to Settler on EQAFE. Anu talks specifically about just getting out and doing something – no matter how simple it is. So he really confirmed the support I got a year ago through the Portal – and he is saying it this time for the public!!!

So as a person who started simple, you can do it too!! And if you need any help in deciding what to do or what to start with, just write to me 🙂

 

Recommended Resources:

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

300. Being in My Original Home & Culture – Part 3, Being an Equal Participant in Conversations

priscilla-du-preez-234138Something I noticed while being with friends and family on my trip, is that people do SEE me – and may be able to see parts of me I’m not yet aware of, so I’ve been pushing to become more aware of myself around others, and question who I am with them.

This realization came forth after having a friend reveal to me she was concerned about my weight loss the months before I moved but was too afraid to say anything. Then another friend was happy I quit my job because she saw how unhappy I was but wasn’t sure if she should say anything. So there I saw that people are aware of things I may not want them to be aware of or see, but it’s there in reality. People do probably see more of me than I may realize but don’t say anything…

So – just the other day I realized I have a tendency to kind of sit back and let people talk, and just be there to agree with them, or nod or make short comments without much conversing / engaging myself. I sort of place myself in the back seat in conversations with people, as if I’m not as important as them.

I notice this behavior when my cousin was talking the majority of the time and having my mom sit next to me acting in the same manner, I saw I took this point on from / through her. In that moment I decided I didn’t want to be like that – I wanted to show my cousin I was also an equal participant in the conversation, because if I share and add onto the conversation I am also showing another I am interested and here with them. This I would also like for myself – to have someone equally engaging / talking / being here with me in a conversation.

So I’ve been practicing the words share and engage – where I try to find windows of opportunities in conversation that I relate to / connect with, and share who I am with it, or a story or something – that way I am making my presence known and being with the people in the conversation…showing them ”hey I’m here with you guys, also sharing!!”

My cousin for example was talking about the type of beef we were eating, and I added in how my partner was just today asking where to get such beef in the city, and then the conversation continued and more people joined in. So it was cool to get the ball rolling and people sharing and adding their input / perspectives and not just keeping it at a standstill.

It’s been an interesting process so far because: before speaking / sharing I have to push through some initial shyness and resistance, but I push because I want to prove to myself I CAN engage in a conversation, I CAN be here with others, and make my presence known – showing people I am with them in the convo, being an equal participant, and enjoying myself in it.

 

Recommended Resources:

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

299. Being in My Original Home & Culture – Part 2, Being with Reality.

jon-flobrant-230583I am very thankful for reality for showing me the self-deception I had given into – I gave into these false beliefs and ideas that being back at my original home for vacation (and having parents who provide me free shelter, food, some money and a car to basically go whatever I want) would mean that everything will be all-right and smooth sailing.

I say I’m grateful for reality giving me its reality check because it humbled me to realize that yes – even despite having a ‘break’ from my normal life and its responsibilities, I still have THIS life / MY life to be aware of and take care of … I’ll give an example:

Today I was to meet friends for breakfast in a city an hour from my home. I made sure to give me enough time to drive there and find parking. I realized the car I was driving needed gas to get me to the destination. This was a reality check – something real that needed to be done.

In fantasy/desire in my mind I did not want to put gas in my car – I wanted to just ‘go for it’ / risk it and see ‘along the way’ if I needed gas – but I soon realized I’ve done this before – where a few years ago I became quite sloppy in my responsibility to my car and would drive a long time to get to a destination, and would find I would get to a point of being dangerously low on fuel where it was not guaranteed I would make it to the gas station in time.

So I faced that moment again today – where my desires of just wanting to start driving and worry about putting gas in the car later came up, and I said no – I’m not going to risk it – I’m going to play it safe and get my shit together and put gas in that car, even despite it feeling like it was an additional ”burden”.

BUT: Is putting gas in the car REALLY a BURDEN? According to the dictionary a burden is a ”heavy load.” Putting gas in your car is a NATURAL RESPONSIBILITY – naturally you must take care of the car if YOU USE IT, and so – fill it up with the fuel when it’s needed otherwise it will not function FOR YOU.

So it’s like: If you can’t handle the natural simple responsibility of taking care of your car, you should not drive one.

I had to face a choice of taking care of myself and the car: I filled up the car with gas, and then I had to drive very carefully and slowly because the weather hit the road quite harshly – lots of rain, wind, some ice.

A part of me fiercely came up, like fighting with reality – I did not WANT to slow down, I wanted to get to my destination in how I wanted to. Boy, it was a very immature selfish part of me rearing it’s head saying shit like ”I want it my way, fuck you weather.” I was basically fighting with the LAWS of NATURE and RULES OF THE ROAD – what was HERE.

Then I realized I haven’t yet equalized myself to the rules of the road – there is the tendency to try and rebel and do things ‘my way’ on the road, but I would end up getting in trouble (close to accidents, risking relationships/lives with other drivers).

So then my friend’s partner came up in me – he is very physical and good with driving/being on the road. I remembered how I enjoyed his presence in the car, his confidence and carefulness of the road, so I ‘liked that’ and decided to be/emerge as that – tapping into the words he represented to me (careful, mature, physical, aware) and I was able to slow down on the road, being more focused and attentive to my safety and the safety of the car. Doing this worked, — where the process of driving made me feel more confident, mature and comfortable.

So with driving, I am going to become what I liked in another – physically aware of myself and the car on the road, being careful and attentive to the laws/ways of driving, keeping me and my car’s safety in check top priority.

 

Recommended Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

298. Being in My Original Home & Culture – Part 1 , ”The Good.”

scott-webb-167099Being here – back in the town and home I grew up in for more than 25 years of my life has been an interesting experience so far. First of all I am alone, so I don’t have my husband here with me, so it is like as if I am not married to him and I am back as I was before… but I’m realistically not.

It’s a bit funny because I no longer feel defined to my culture anymore. I more feel like someone from the outside observing the people, the ways and means of living, the accents, and expressions. And here I am, exploring and understanding more of me and who I am towards my native culture. 

I have been seeking out the ‘good’ in my culture, and noting them down in my phone to see how I can live and integrate these points back in my current home. For example, the expressions of greetings I like, the politeness and consideration of people around you, the variety of food from different cultures — how open and expansive the meal plans are and the creative dishes, as well as how my parents live.

My mom for example is very systematic in what she does – she has a routine she goes by that makes the home environment what it is (clean, manageable, comfortable). So I’ve been asking her questions on how she does particular things in the home and then I note down and discuss with my partner how I would like to do those things back at my home. I make sure my partner is ok with a new technique I want to do before doing it, because I know in the past when I would do something new without his awareness or approval there would be reaction and conflicts. So I found best to first consult with my partner then just impulsively acting out on things.  Therefore I have been taking the ‘good’/cool points from my family and culture and assessing how best I can integrate into me and my living back at home.

Interestingly enough the more I’ve been finding what I like about my culture, and the cool things in it, I start seeing the good/cool points in my family as well. No longer am I ONLY seeing the bad or worst of them, but also expressions and points I haven’t even seen before that has in a way always been there, where I can recognize and appreciate it in them.

Recommended Recording:

A series of two recordings with Audrey Hepburn, done through the interdimensional portal, about one’s process in relation to family and friends.

Perspectives on:

How to assist and support self within the presence of family and friends.

How to allocate who you are when you are with family and friends.

How to PRACTICALLY assist and support self within the presence of family and friends.

 

 

Recommended Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

297. Extracting the Gift & Words in Dreams

jake-davies-339189How I’ve been working with dreams is that – whenever I have a prominent dream – a dream that ‘’sticks’’ with me when I wake up, with strong emotions, that is my indication that laying behind the dream is a gift and specific word(s) for me to extract and discover.

What I’ve been doing is I look at what happened in the dream, and what I reacted strongly too. Then I walk Self-Forgiveness to release myself from the emotion to see what point is behind it for me to learn from, and the word that comes from the reaction that I can now use in expanding myself in my self-creation process.

So for example I had a dream where I found my partner was looking at porn and I reacted strongly to this. I was basically hysterical – screaming at him.

During the dream I was so into the reactions I ‘’lost’’ myself in those moments. I woke up and forgave myself of being so hysterical towards my partner, and found a supportive word for me to redefine and apply in my life from here on – that is UNDERSTAND – redefining it to – asking questions and walking a process / journey of finding where I or another person stands with things.

So I in a way extracted my reaction to the dream, forgave it, investigated it into finding a support word and tested it by applying it in the dream (meaning, go back and walk the correction in applying the word  UNDERSTAND in asking my partner straightforwardly Why are you looking at porn again? For me to get to a space of knowing where he stands with it so I can then assist and support since I would then know what he is going through).

This word – UNDERSTAND – I also then am applying in my daily life, where whenever I react to something, instead of avoiding the reaction, or letting it go, I FIND OUT what it is I reacted to by asking questions or using writing / other ways and means to get to a point of knowing where I stand with something, so I can then decide if I want to continue living in this point or change it.

Then I also shared my dream with my partner – and through him walking a process of self-consciousness he was additionally able to point out that the dream also showed how I have issues with MY BODY. So this then I am grateful to see/realize how this dream was more of a gift in disguise that just needs to points extracted to be looked at and sorted through understanding and solutions.

You can request a Dream Reading if you would like someone to analyze it here.

Here is a special recording on the Meaning of Dreams if you’re interested.

 

Recommended Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation