Overwhelmingness. A sneaky little bitch that can suck you in without you even being aware about it!
That is what has been happening to me, over the last couple of months. I knew in a way, I was in it, but I allowed other factors and points in my life to take precedence over sorting this little bugger out.
It started a month ago when I noticed I started to slack in my sharings and posts here on this blog. Making an effort to post as consistently as I can while updating and making my presence known in the Desteni community is important to me.
But I started to allow excuses to come up, seemingly little ones, and on top of that, an energy, which has been illustrated well in the Overwhelming recordings on EQAFE, started to take over, like a waterfall of what I describe an over flood of emotions where I felt helpless and like I can’t do anything. So I would just wait it out, allowing myself to not actively push and do anything about it. Seeing if this approach could work in letting it be, walking with it, not doing anything about it.
But as 2 months have shown, this allowance of having the overwhelming emotion just ‘be’ in me did not do anything constructively for me. In fact, I have been feeling a little ‘dead’ inside, and depressed, and low. Expanding myself, and my personal growth slowed down and felt like I just stopped caring for a while.
Finally, as I have given myself the space to do so, I started to get back in EQAFE, and into the Overwhelmed series, getting back in touch with myself with the interest to start walking my process more. Realizing that this feeling of being overwhelmed is a defense mechanism the mind uses when you are not reacting as much as it wants you to. It makes total sense because my life has become more calmer and in a way, drama-free (yay!) but doesn’t mean it’s not going to be drama-free within, as long as I don’t become absolute director of the mind.
So this is a note to self, to not allow this overwhelmed bugger get the best of me, but utilize the support EQAFE has been showing me to walk this point so I can get back to a more steady, consistent walk in my process of self-awareness, self-transformation and self-growth.
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