I am Not Perfect Yet and That’s Ok – 339

Something I’ve realized for myself is the fact that everyone, like me, walking process from consciousness to awareness, are not perfect, are just like me, making mistakes, getting humiliated, having to start over again…

In the beginning of walking my process I use to project and think those who have been walking before me are better and not flawed. Because of this belief, I for a long time separated myself from them, closed myself off from them and couldn’t open up and be myself around them because I was uncomfortable – even despite them opening up to me, sharing their mistakes, a part of me did not want to accept or see that they were just as messy as me. That only me, and me alone is really weird and fucked up.

Looking at it now, it was a complete mind fuck I got myself in, but specific. I had to learn the hard way what it means to be me, and be ok with that. What it means to be ok forging my own path, without people telling me what to do. That sort of bravery took me a long time to develop, but the process to get there was necessary.

Seeing another as myself, within all they’re messiness, realizing they don’t have it all together, has been comforting to say the least. And it came from me identifying and seeing that messiness in me and realizing for once, it’s ok to be like that. Like a true, unconditional acceptance of how fucked up I am, but not in a judgmental way – more of an acknowledgment of where I am, honestly. I am in a mess, I don’t have everything together, and I don’t know how to put everything together. Maybe I am not meant to put everything together, and that is ok. The point is, I do what I can, and I walk.

This point of self-acceptance has been very supportive of me and helping me continue a new chapter of myself and my process.

Additional Resources:

Destonians– Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Space of Grace – Holistic Online Wellness Center

We Do Not Have the Right to Judge Someone’s Self-Expressive Art – 338

There have been many moments over the last months where I would watch a film, a series, a vlog, a painting, etc – and judge the piece of art. But then I would take a step back and have to pinch myself awake to realize that I have no right to judge someone’s form of self-expression/art, because that came from them, and that person could be really proud of what they created and done and so I have no right to put it down.

It’s like any form of creation we make – it comes from us, from where we are with our lives and location points, with how we see/interpret a point.

It’s art – it’s a manifestation of something we wanted to put out in the world, that came from our self/being. If we judge another’s unique expression and/or storytelling, for example, we are judging ourselves and limiting our own expression – limiting, where we may not allow ourselves to be so free and unconditional in sharing ourselves, our creatons…

So what I have been doing is catching myself in moments where I am watching or viewing something and see me go into judgements that this looks stupid, this is not right, and just calm down – realizing this is a person or a group’s particular way of showing or expressing something, due to where they are in their life and what they see.

Yes, I may see and wish things to be different, but the creation/art point is done, it’s already finished, published. If I want to take that piece of art and express it my way, I can if I want – within parameters such as making sure what I want to do is legal and no harm will be done.

Additional Resources:

Destonians– Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Space of Grace – Holistic Online Wellness Center

The System as the Core for Competiton – 337

Photo by Macau Photo Agency on Unsplash

I was reading an article on Forbes about how women are very competitive with each other due to the scarcity of higher-level positions and being scrutinized more than males. Originally I saw that the patriarchy is to blame – where it’s not fair that men have more working opportunities than women, get better pay, etc. Where I could justify why women would be mean to each other – due to the workplace culture.

But something didn’t sit right with me, so I let the point go and let it process for some days. Eventually I discovered it’s so much not the patriarchy and male-influenced workforce that makes women mean and competitive with each other – it’s the base/core point of the world system itself.

Where the world system in and of itself, is at its core and starting point, birthed as a point of separation, inequality, and scarcity. Where there is such an imbalance with money – having the elite, or 1% of the world having more than they need, and then millions in poverty… And even in the case of women, yes, we are in a way even more at a disadvantage because we are treater as ‘less’ than men in many ways, but the men themsleves have to compete and fight for their chance to survive too.

So really, we’ll all screwed since we are in the system. Patriarchy is not to blame for why women are mean, nasty, and competitive with each other. It’s the reality that living a good life is hard to come by, which fuels the fight to survive, even if that means hurting the ones we love.

So from this, I stopped taking women’s behaviors towards me and others so personally. I started to see it’s because the system is at the base level cruel and not caring or considering anyone, and scarcity/not having enough to survive is at the minds of many… so naturally, we act that way to survive and get the life we want.

Obviously, we can work on our integrity and not allow the system’s starting point to influence who we are as beings…this is a point with walking with Desteni –  purfiying ourselves within, so that the without can be purified too – since everything is connected.

So something I started for myself is looking at my foundation, my base and starting point when it comes to creating things, to make sure I am not acting from a state of fear or the fight for survival, but one more purified. However, this doesn’t mean I can’t use marketing and advertising techniques that people use in the system – I can, but with more integrity and consideration for the outflows of my actions, and how that may impact myself and people in the future.

 

Additional Resources:

The Consciousness of the Pigeon – Part 1

Destonians– Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Space of Grace – Holistic Online Wellness Center

The Support of the Pigeon – 336

I could never imagine being a caretaker for pigeons, and actually expanding my awareness about them.

When Quarantine started in my city, my area became extremely quiet. This allowed animals like pigeons to roam around more and explore areas they normally don’t visit, like my courtyard.

In the four years I lived in my apartment, never have any pigeons been in the courtyard. Only during lockdown did a sweet pair of pigeons start sleeping at the top corner of our building. They were so cute looking huddled together in the evenings. I saw them even sleep through heavy rains.

As the days went by, and they continued to sleep at their corner every night, I had an inspiration to start offering them food. One of the things I dearly missed since moving to another country was not being able to feed birds. I use to have a large bird feeder at my parent’s home, which I would fill on a regular basis, and it would bring me to so much joy to see wild birds (and the occasional squirrel) devour the seeds. It was my one responsibility for the animals and broke my heart when I moved abroad and couldn’t do this.

These pigeons gave me the opportunity to re-spark this point. My partner and I found a spot on our terrace where we could place food. We bought dove seed, plus a varierty of other seed, and waited about a week until they made their descent onto our terrace and started eating.

Fast forward to a few months later, and they are our regular visitors and the joy of our lives. We learned a lot about pigeons over the months – like how back in ancient civilization pigeons were great companions to humans – almost like dogs, and in both world wars were great postal carriers who would deliver messages to allies. They actually make great pets, when tamed, and are sweet and sensitive by nature.

We seem to enjoy each other’s presence. I have to move slowly when I am with them, but when I am sitting outside I sweet talk them. Sometimes they will sit down or stand with one leg, giving me a soft blink of the eye to indicate they are comfortable with me. This type of animal friendship is something that has brought me great joy during this difficult time. They both have unique expressions and behaviors, which is amazing. They have opened my eyes to look at how I have seen pigeons, or how people talked about them, as being scum, diseased, little annoyances. But once you get to know them and learn about them, they are really great animals.

They support me to be more responsible. I clean their space and my terrace regularly, provide food and water. It’s an extra responsibility, but I feel like it’s a good one because I am supporting a part of life, a part of nature. I have to push myself to do the responsibility, but I really like it. It helps me do something outside of myself and my normal tasks.

Also another thing I learned was how the media makes out piegons to be these really hideous, disease birds. While I need to do more research on this, supposedly they are not as diseased or dangerous to handle as some media outlets make them out to be. It may be propaganda to get rid of them, which is sad because back then they were friendly companions with humans. And if you try to get rid of them or kill them they repopulate in even greater numbers lol.

So my point is, is that any animal you see as less than you, like pigeons, look again. Sure they may all look the same and act the same, and be a ‘nuisance’ but they are trying to live like us, and if you take them apart and befriend them individually you’ll find they each have unique and sometimes funny characteristics and can be really sweet to be around 🙂 They can really support you if you allow yourself to open up to them.

 

Additional Resources:

The Consciousness of the Pigeon – Part 1

Destonians– Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Space of Grace – Holistic Online Wellness Center

Not Taking Business Points So Personally – 335

It’s been really fascinating working for a startup, a business that basically was built from scratch. I’ve been working for this company for about two years now and it’s been extraordinary to see the growth and success of it.

Particularly what I find fascinating is how what I experience and the encounter was something I use to encounter when I was travel blogging, that I use to think only happened to me, and took personally.

I am talking about receiving specific negative treatment from readers/customers. I at the time didn’t look or connect with people to share or learn from common experiences. The patterns I saw and encountered from others I thought were targeted to me personally, and I felt very alone about it.

It was only until I started working for a business did I realize, whatever happened to me, happens to other people too.

Here are some aspects and behaviors I have seen while working in a business I use to take personally – but now find to be universal:

• stealing someone’s business idea and using it as their own
• having people copy your work
• deliberately talking over or writing over a company’s promotion on Facebook/social media by dominating and appearing to be the expert source
• being criticized for the price and content that is created
• having people ignore your business in facebook group, and instead ask about other businesses in the same field as you

Especially on social media, I use to react a lot to the kind of negative treatment and behavior seen on my travel blog, or while I was promoting it. But I realize it’s all within the universal game of competition – of people being aggressive, asserting themselves and their company, to be seen, to make money, so they can survive.

From all of this, I realized that we really are locked in this world and that the same behaviors will continue to repeat in our lives until we all individually and collectively stop, change and correct ourselves.

Now I have a greater understanding and in a way, more empathy, for people who are being tough in the business world – because their company, their business does provide for their living, so they will do whatever they can to keep it moving and successful because their life actually depends on it. This means acting in primal, aggressive means if need be.

However, even though I do see these negative aspects almost every day since working in a business, I do know it’s going to take a whole collective of people to start slowly but surely turn a competitive world into a world that considers all.

I see currently with the coronavirus situation much talk about Universal Basic Income, which is fantastic, and clearly, the virus has shaken up a lot of people. Whether or not it has shaken up to the extent where real lasting change that is good for all can happen, I don’t know.

All I know is that what’s important is I continue walking my process, being aware of who I am in the little moments, and correcting myself.

 

Additional Resources:

Destonians– Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Space of Grace – Holistic Online Wellness Center

To Heal Mother Earth We Must Heal Ourselves – 334

I signed up to check out an online womanhood circle session and one of the activities that went on in the circle was singing to Mother Earth. Honoring her presence, the gifts of water and food she provides to us, etc. The songs were really moving and beautiful, but I could definitely see a disconnect when it comes to the actual protecting and ‘saving’ of the Earth.

While the music, the feel, and presence of singing and honoring to Mother Earth was beautiful and deeply touching for me, I could see that to truly heal the world, we must heal ourselves first. On a realistic level, this means being kind to oneself in every moment of breath to the point where your kindness lives as a real expression and it extends to every person and being that impacts them, which will then resonate within the Earth and eventual healing will take place on the planet because then it won’t be all songs and separation we live in for the Earth, but we are doing our part by actually living as an example of kindness, of self-healing, of responsibility by not accepting and allowing abuse again.

Because the point is abuse. We have incredible tribes and communities working towards healing the Earth in their own way, but how the REAL change for a better world comes from within. I see that we on an individual level must ‘clean up’ and heal up and also live realistically, actually truly care and love ourselves and really eliminate harm from within. From living that, ideally, and hopefully – other individuals will also live that within, and because humankind will change, the Earth will change.

So while I find singing and honoring the Earth a beautiful thing, we need to take it a step further and actually start honoring ourselves – because that is where the real stuff happens and starts to really ripple in this world.

What I have been working on personally is not allowing emotional abuse to exist both within me and without. Within, with not allowing my thoughts to manipulate me into emotions (easier said than done lol), and on the without, not participating with people, conversations, etc that are harmful – or the very least, try to direct myself within it to the best of my ability.

 

Additional Resources:

Destonians– Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

There is No Winner or Loser in the New Paradigm of Life – 333

Photo by Fabrice Villard on Unsplash

I wanted to share briefly about a realization I’ve had recently. It’s the point of knowing people’s weaknesses and using them against the person as a means of control.

This came up because I have encountered individuals, who have shown me over time, that unfortunatly would try and use my sensitivity and weakness to turn things into their favor. They would use certain words, expressions, or plain out give me the silent treatment because they knew it would make me uncomfortable. They did this as a means to make me break down into fear in order to control me.

I also know for a fact that in the beginning of my relationship with my partner, when we have a conflict, I would bring up their past mistakes to justify my reasoning and weaken them to try to win. I remember in an EQAFE recording they mentioned this was a big no-no because it only fuels spite and not understanding and resolution. It took a lot of me and a visit to the Desteni Farm to reprogram myself with this point.

I know now for a fact that if there is a conflict, and the individual ”wins” in having weakened their ”opponent” where the opponent is so hurt or in pain or can’t defend themselves, that both of them lose. Because they are both existing within a form of polarity – of winner and loser, superiority and inferiority. Not everyone and what is best for them is taken into consideration. This is the old world paradigm way of life. This I don’t buy or give into anymore.

For a new paradigm of life, everyone wins. Conflicts end when there is a direction and solution that is healthy and best for both people. It takes everyone and everything involved into consideration. This is what I see when it comes to Equality and Oneness as Life.

 

Additional Resources:

Destonians– Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

 

 

Care for the Little Things and Impact on the Future – 332

I was putting away some seasonal/holiday decorations and I looked at a point of irritation that I experienced towards putting away each piece in its box.

There were some lights that required to be untangled then wrapped, and cups that needed to be wrapped, plus little things. Each item required time and care to be put away.

I saw a desire to just ignore the process and put the items in the box, with the tangled lights and unwrapped cups, etc. I use to do this, because I didn’t have the patience to take the time and learn how to properly put each piece of away. I just ”winged it.” I did what I thought was fine.

Yet, what would happen the next year when I take out the decor is that I would be disappointed to see dust accumulated on the items and needed to be clean, or there were cracks or broken pieces because I didn’t put away the items well.

Considering that I now have awareness of what I didn’t like from the past when it came to uncared-for seasonal decorations, I decided to step up the care and actually do my part by taking the time to wrap and place each item accordingly and make sure they are stored well in the box to prevent getting broken or cracked.

From this, I looked at how I am helping my future self by doing my part in making sure each holiday/seasonal item is wrapped and stored properly, so when the time comes for me to re-decorate, I am pleased with how I stored it last year, and most likely less damage has been done. And I repeat the pattern – I help myself for the present and future, by taking good care of the items and storing them properly for the next year too.

My general message is that in the moment we may react in anger, irritation, or frustration over taking care of items and having to store them a certain way for the year. But if you put them away carelessly because of you are in reaction, you are actually sabotaging yourself, and the quality of the items. Plus you are in a way, fueling a cycle of sabotage and carelessness, and when you meet your actions in the future, you will see what you did and most likely be disappointed/unsatisfied. Then, you have choice to repeat the pattern, or change it.

For me, I am now changing how I take care and store my seasonal/holiday items, because I don’t like the consequence of every year, picking up the box, seeing the dust and broken/carelessly left items, and having to actually take more time to clean/repair them, or even replace them by buying. Instead, I want to be satisfied with my work/actions, so I’m making the effort to care for what I do.

 

Additional Resources:

Destonians– Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Fear of Ruffling People’s Feathers – 331

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear starting conflict and ruffling feathers by my story to people who may react. I realize I want to share my story to inform and give as preventative measure (so people can learn) because I feel it is necessary.

I commit myself to realize that I may ruffle feathers and trigger people for speaking my truth or a truth that needs to be shown/revealed and that I should share it regardless especially if I know deep within me I must do it because if I don’t, I will compromise myself and feel it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that sometimes feathers need to be ruffled for people to realize what happened and how their actions affected me, so that these actions can be brought to light and stopped, as long as I also admit my point of responsibility, especially if I participated and allowed the harmful outcome to happen.

I commit myself to realize that if something was truly in violation of me, my beliefs, and was in a way I know the other person wouldn’t like if it was done unto them, that I most certainty can speak up about it as long as I am stable and objective within it. I realize doing so will bring awareness to behaviors that harm both myself and the other and thus it can be harder for the behaviors to continue once they are out in the open.

I realize even bringing harmful behaviors out in the open/in the light does not guarantee people will change from them, but that it’s worth a shot instead of being quiet about it and possibly letting people run away from it. I also realize I can use the harmful behaviors I have seen and been involved and share it through this blog to bring more awareness of what is existent in this world and the practical solutions for it, so we can correct/change.

 

Additional Resources:

Destonians– Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Awakening My Resistance About Giving Back to the Earth – 330

My partner and I are becoming more aware and considerate of recycling. We now have specific bags/bins in our kitchen and try to place the right item in the correct bin when we are finished with the product.

Today I decided to do the next part of recycling and dump the metal items in the recycling bin outside our apartment. It was a task I dreaded because it specifically requires putting one item (ie: soda can, etc) at a time in the bin. These bins are locked, so I cannot open it and dump all the items at once. This means the process is time consuming. Patience and perseverance for something so small is required.

I tried stuffing two or more metal cans at a time through the small bin opening but not all of them could fit. I could feel I was becoming impatient and really resistant of the process.

I then looked at how something seemingly so small and simple was giving me the hardest time, emotionally. I realized what I was doing was actually a responsibility I must do for the Earth – a giving back to the Earth – because what I consumed (ie: soda can) was something the planet provided for me. The LEAST I can do is give back by recycling and placing the consumed items back – as a point of care, consideration and gratefulness – into the bin.

And I was also looking at if I were to have a child, that I would need to teach the child the importance of giving back to the Earth, and doing something so small like putting the items in the correct recycled bins every month – just as a small duty to the Earth – is necessary.

Yet, for some reason, I resisted and dreaded the task so much because my mind/self wanted to do something else. The repetitive, ”boring” motion of putting each recycled item through the bin hole conflicted with what my mind/self wanted to do – which was to go home and look through my emails and get work done.

But something so physical, practical and NEEDED for the Earth was causing great distress in me. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Why am I programmed to want to be in front of my computer more than being outside, giving back to the Earth by doing something as small as recycling cans?

This situation really opened my eyes to how much we are living in reverse – how we resist and dread really important things needed to give back to the Earth – the planet who gives so much to us. What an awakening it has been for me!

Much credit goes to The Portal and chats on Destonians.com for exposing how much we are neglecting planet Earth, and providing solutions on how to care, for Real.

 

Additional Resources:

Destonians– Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words