The 4 Evils of Women – 326

One point I am actively working to be more aware of and change is who I am in relation to women. This is because for most of my life I have participated and been involved in situations with women that would end up keeping me in states of regret, spite, holding grudges, obsession, anger, etc.

Generally speaking, anything surrounding the topic of women and womanhood and being involved in women’s groups are weak points within me. Partly this is due to my past and also in my generational line both my mother and grandmother have had issues with women (the sins of the father quote is right on this one).

I’ve re-listened to the EQAFE recordings War of Women recently – specifically the last two which highlighted the ”4 Evils of Women” – which are: Comparison, Competition, Jealousy and Judgement.

Listen to the Recording: War of Women below ↓

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It makes a lot of sense that these 4 words are what women participate in the most. What is always common is the putting down of oneself (through judgement) feeling threatened and wanting to one up someone (through competition), crumbling within self when comparing or seeing someone is better than you at something (comparison), and despising a person and possibly changing your behavior to hurt them/gossip about them because you want what they want (jealousy).

Now take all of that and put it in a group of women, and you got a shit storm. Even though women are more subtle and quiet in their actions, many of those ”evils” fuel on a constant basis and keep women in a state of self-abuse – unless you are within a group of women, like Destonians, who are actively working on themselves and standing as a support for oneself and another.

Yet, even Destonian women (like myself) are not perfect and fall at times. Like me, where despite learning A LOT and stopping participating as much as possible in Comparison, Competition, Jealousy and Judgement, it still comes up and seeps into my life.

I know the ill-effects participating in those words have on one’s wellbeing and mental state. It’s not pretty, and my theory is that a lot of it also comes from how one was raised and the relationship a women has or had with their mother. Mothers are usually our primary caregivers, and who we look up to. The mother is connected to the feminine expression and feminine qualities within us all.

My theory is that if the relationship with the mother is tainted because the mother is tainted: ie: she compares herself to other women, or judges her own daughter because of her own insecurities, etc, the daughter will also end up like her, broken, unless she has made a conscious choice to NOT be like that and actively works on herself to do so.

Otherwise, if you put broken, insecure women together, you can imagine the kind of abuse that can happen. Realities shows like the Kardashians and the Housewives of Orange Country are examples. Gossip, deceiving, and betrayal are outflows of participating in Comparison, Competition, Judgement and Jealousy within oneself and one’s world.

That’s why it’s so important to start a new revolution per sey, of women, where women really actively work on themselves and take leadership of understanding their emotions and their pain, guilt and trauma they’ve endured in the past, and do something constructive about it.

I do see a wave of self love, self care and support coming forth in social media, which is great and already a great first step. My suggestion, as the second step, is for us as women to start becoming more aware of our relationship with ourselves and how we are participating in the ”4 evils” so we can purify ourselves, re-define the words, and live a new life free of self-abuse.

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

From Jealousy to Practical Living – 325

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I was watching a TV show a month ago, and there appeared a woman who was a yoga teacher, smiling and expressing herself. Immediately within me, I was jealous of her. Here she was bubbly, friendly-looking, while also exuding a calm and laid-back attitude. The point that she was a yoga teacher and the exercise supported her to be such a way was something I truly desired and wanted to be/do.

I had let go of daily yoga practice quite a while ago to allow work to get in the way of my self-care and wellbeing. Because of this, I noticed a dip in my mood as well as weight gain and overall feeling unwell in myself and my process. I dropped something that truly benefited me in exchange for an addiction to work.

The TV show and person, triggered me to look at a potential I was not accessing and using to my advantage. The potential that – I can get back to daily, or weekly yoga practice because that particular movement/exercise has been most nourishing for me, and my life, time and time again.

I remember specifically before I saw the show, I had a chat with my DIP buddy discussing jealousy and what that means, as well as reading Anna’s Instagram post on using jealousy as a means to do what you see in another.

So from this support combined I took action and decided to start my yoga practice again –  just doing a practice I’m comfortable with and can handle, which was at the start, a 15-minute morning yoga exercise. Then gradually it became a 40-minute practice.

Day to day I take it slow and easy on myself, doing yoga in the mornings, as it was the best and most convenient time for me. I would check in with the YouTube videos to see which one I was interested in doing that day, depending on how I’m doing and how much energy I have.

But I really make sure to do yoga consistently now, because I know how nourishing and supportive it is for me. If I miss a day or even week of doing yoga I know I will always try to it when I can. I know that if there comes a time when I do slip, in not honoring a consistent yoga practice, then I will eventually get back to it.

Thanks, universe for bringing this point forward in me! 🙂

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone on Holiday – 324

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My partner and I are vacationing in a small town in Greece. It’s really interesting to observe and be present with reactions when entering a new place/country.

For me especially, at the beginning of my holiday, I was in a constant state of dissatisfaction and criticism. I could feel the reactions towards the accommodation, and location creep up in me, and instead of suppressing, I allowed them to come up. Just be with them. I knew these were comfort zones being challenged, and that being here was actually a good/supportive thing. There were a lot of realities present that I wasn’t prepared for when coming to Greece, but were necessary to experience: poor plumbing, power outages, having to walk up and down hills to get to the market or places (if you don’t have a car), having to buy water bottles because tap water is unsafe, having to see stray cats who aren’t neutered, with their babies, and are thin/hungry.

In a way, this experience has been extremely humbling for me. I realize I need these reality checks every now and then because I can get so caught up in my life in Austria and its comforts, I take advantage of that. I sometimes forget about how life is for other people and animals around the world.

Being here in Greece has put my survival into perspective. I have to think about if I have enough water bottles, whether I should go out at certain times of the day because it’s so hot, be careful with cooking and handling local water. Also, I have to be more in tune with myself and my surroundings because there are wild plants, bugs, and animals to be aware of.

This sort of ”wildness” as I can describe is very good for me to experience, to get back to life/reality and see how things really are in this world. Getting out of my comfort zone on holiday is cool.

While some things are harder here in Greece, compared to where I live in Austria, the people are exceptionally warm, open and friendly with you, as a stranger. It’s really nice and different than what I face in Austria. Plus, there is natural beauty all around, from the cypress and palm trees, mountains, the sea/beaches, and the interesting birds and wildlife.

I find it really healthy for oneself to go off to a foreign place from time to time and really get involved, dive in deep with how things are, and live life like the locals. It will certainly challenge your comfort zones and bring new perspectives on how to live and enjoy life.

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

Eradicating the Worst of Me – 323

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated when I see my former competitors still make success and money for themselves, as I secretly fear that they have or will be taking my place in terms of the area we both have competed in. I realize I have secretly competed against them to make sure I was at the top. Now since I have stopped playing that game, the drive to crush/replace/destroy needs to be corrected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to crush, destroy, and annihilate my competitors so that I am on the only one in my field/on top and thus no threat is upon me, where I can breathe and just be me. I realize only in an Equal Money System could I truly rest and be at peace with my financial situation, and me, as my needs would be taken care of financially forever/my whole life, and thus there would be no fear of someone threatening to upstage me as my survival would already beset by an external force supporting me. And that I could just be me and whoever and however I express myself, I still have a secured survival.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take the anger, the righteous, and seemingly ‘power’ I experience in wanting to crush/destroy/annihilate my competitors and use that to create a better life for myself, and everyone involved by actually working on my mind in eradicating/destroying the worst of me that I see/hate in others and this world.

I commit myself to take the hatred, anger, righteousness, and feeling of power I have towards people and things in my world and turn it towards myself in eradicating/deleting/getting rid of the worst shit within me.

I commit myself to realize an Equal Money System can get started by me no longer serving the ‘survival of the fittest’ mindset of wanting to crush my competitors and instead strive to live for a better world where all are taken care of, financially for their well-being and just existing in this life.

I commit myself to explore what living for/as an Equal Money System truly is, and how to practically live that type of existence by eradicating the old programming/ways of myself and former generations that are evil/corrupt/screwed up.

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

Being Responsible for Others: Working with Interns – 322

working with interns emotional support

I had the privilege of being a supervisor for a pair of interns this summer, for an organization I volunteer at. While some people may groan and fuss about having to watch a couple of college students all summer, I found it exceptionally rewarding.

Mostly because they were fresh faces with fresh perspectives on things in life. It was really great to get to know them as individuals and see where their strengths and talents lie.

For example, our first meeting we simply got to know each other and our personality types. We talked about our astrological signs, our Enneagram numbers and whether we side more on the introvert or extrovert side. So the first impression was that everyone understood where each person was, self-honestly, and from there I got to determine what type of work I could give them, where they could thrive.

Of course, this was a learning process, as I first started to give the male intern work on graphic design because he was more of the art type who had a love of the finer things in life. However, I saw that I was excluding the opportunity for the female intern to take on the job too, so I then decided to assign her some tasks with graphic design. I knew she and I discussed beforehand that she never really worked with graphics, but lo and behold, after much tinkering around, she designed some pretty amazing things and I think became proud of herself.

Eventually though as shit started to hit the fan between me and my co-founder in regards to finances and drama at the location we were at, I started to see our unit as a family. A family that needs to stay strong and stable amidst the turmoil going on. I soon started to see the interns as children. Where my co-founder and I were like the parents and that the emotions and shit we were experiencing towards things happening on the outside, could seep into our relationship with the interns.

Eventually, it got to the point where I had to became the sole ‘parent’ or person who had to keep everything together and became entirely responsible for the ‘kids’/interns. It was no fun and I still have to deal with reactions with this point, but I could really see the intrinsic responsibility that comes forth when you allow people to work with you and walk with you in your life, that you see every day. That they (the interns) started to pick up on subtleties and changes going on between me and my co-founder and started to ask about it.

I then took the liberty of being honest and direct with what was going on behind the scenes, in a way that didn’t reveal everything but enough for them to understand the stuff that can happen in an organization. And from this, I also realized the importance of the co-founders needing to stick together, but also the truth that: running a business or organization with a friend may not be the best idea. It certainly is not working for me.

I also realized for myself, after many mistakes, that I am best to do projects alone, by myself, being my own boss and CEO. This has inspired me to take on a new venture/project that is currently in the making, that is more aligned to me. Where no one is boss except me.

So, to sum this all up – when you take responsibility for a set of interns, my suggestion is to realize you are responsible for them in a way, similar to a parent, in that they do look up to you for guidance and instruction. They still have a lot of learning in life (as we all do), but since you are the supervisor, you need to consider who you are, your actions, and how you handle things – especially when shit hits the fan. Would you like the interns to take on these characteristics you’ve been displaying and have them apply it later in their life? Because that’s how supervisors are supposed to act?

For example, when shit hits the fan are you going to freak out in front of everyone or are you going to sit down and start brainstorming for solutions? This is what I had to do because I had no choice. I could not show the interns that being and feeling defeated in the face of the system and giving up on the organization is the way to go. You have to keep moving on until you tested all options and see that it is best in the end. Overall it’s important that you show your interns, or whoever is with you, to not give up. Even if that means you have to take on a load for a while until things settle down.

I could not have come to such stability and drive for solutions if it were not for the Desteni tools and community. I truly believe walking my process with them made me become a more pragmatic, practical, less emotional, and commonsensical person.

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

Redefining “…forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” – 320

fadi-xd-799659-unsplashJesus said, “…forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

I have stumbled upon this quote over the last couple of months, both within my DIP buddy chats, and Desteni community chats. But for some reason I couldn’t get it, and I couldn’t see why I should forgive people when they do not know what they are doing.

A part of me was stuck with the word ”know.” Usually, people know to an extent what they are doing, ie: they know they are hitting someone, or speaking hurtful words to someone – they must know to an extent what they are doing is not cool, but where do we forgive them within all of that?

I had to actually redefine the entire sentence for me to truly get it. I redefined the sentence to being: to forgive people for their mistakes/wrongdoings because they are not or weren’t aware of the consequences and impact of their actions/words/presence towards themselves and others.

So by bringing the word ”aware” into the sentence (by replacing ”know” with aware), for me the sentence makes sense, and much easier for me to practice forgiveness. It’s because they are not/were not aware of how they may have hurt me and how that actually hurts them too (by adding consequence to their life and beingness process) because they did not/do not have the skills, and proper education to be aware of themselves and the impact their words/behaviors/actions have on people in the long-run.

So this, to me, is more clear now after working from the original sentence, and I feel much better about it.

To learn more about redefining words, please check out: SOUL – School of Ultimate Living


Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

Neglecting the Physical Body & Correction – 318

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This is post I will be utilizing the tools of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Commitment statements from the Desteni community to work through the point of neglecting my body and health.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my self-expression by going into guilt for not being able to be well enough to go into work. I realize I have placed work above health, in that I am not happy with myself that I can’t work and please my co-workers due to my physical health affecting my capacity to work. I realize the physical body rules all – even work – and that the physical must be honored and taken care of, otherwise if one’s physical health fails, then that obviously will impair one’s ability to work and live in some ways.

I commit myself to realize that the physical body rules all – in that, how I live, breathe, act and am in this physical world is due to my body, and so it must be honored and treated as the god it is otherwise my capacity to live and work effectively will decline

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be BLIND to the fact that I can get by working and putting pressure on myself to perform well and high in everything I do and neglect my body, in terms of giving it the rest, nutrition, exercise and self-care it needs. I realize by ignoring and being blind to my body, I ignore a large, extremely important part of myself. That I do not only function as the mind, but that my body, is a extension of me, my beingness and must also equally be taken care of. I realize that a BALANCE must be in order – where I am able to be aware of myself as my emotions/thoughts/feelings, my body as the physical in terms of pain – instead of the focus only being on me/my mind and what I am doing on the OUTSIDE.

I commit myself to realize that if I neglect my body, I neglect one of the most important aspects of myself and actually my body, the physical will time and time again remind me of my neglect (through pains, illness, etc) as a reason to show what must be priority – that it must be taken care of and considered all the time, as I realize I cannot function properly in this world without a functioning, stable body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can get by taking medicine for the rest of my life as a point of dependency, that this medicine will carry me through life, instead of realizing how my mind as me evolves, new points in my body evolves which may not accompany the medicine I’m taking, thus I will always be on a journey of exploring and understanding what works for me, as there is no one-fits-all-solution to the health issues I face. I realize I must equally work on my own mind points – otherwise I won’t be able to equally assist my physical points. I realize that in order to truly heal, I need to work on my mind points equally to the physical points. Can’t just be one, but to healing holistically, all aspects of me, mind, body, and being/‘’spirit’’.

I commit myself to REMEMBER every sick I go through an illness or health issue, that I cannot just take care of the physical aspect by depending on medicine for the rest of my life – and if I do I will lead a miserable life, depending on others while I lose directing my own life and seeing what works for me, because what I also exist in, within the mind exasperates the health problem, and can even create more problems if I don’t solve them. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting down to the nitty gritty details of my points connected to my health issues, and my relationship with health, because it means I will change and actually may be in a better state than I am

I commit myself to realize there is no state of perfection, physically at this time in existence, and that the most simple best thing I can do is to take care of myself day by day, and stop projecting a unrealistic version of me and my health

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being in a stable, healthy state as I know and believe I won’t always be like this. I realize there is truth to that – even if I am at my prime, I am still susceptible to colds, flus, viruses, accidents, so it’s more that I need to be ok with not being physically perfect, and accepting that these things may happen but it’s not something to fear about, but accept, since it’s a part of life, and there will always be pains, and body points, no matter how fit or healthy I may be. I realize it’s more of me needing to focus on the present and how I can support myself in the present, in giving the tender, love and care me and my body need on a day-to-day basis. As everyday is going to be different, and me and my body will need unique things everyday that must be attended to.

I commit myself to tend to me and my body by recognizing the daily needs they require, and take it easy by practicing listening and responding to these needs everyday – like for emotions that need resolutions to write/forgive them, and physical needs like hunger to feed myself. I also commit myself to take this remembrance process slow and not beat myself up if I forget or don’t do as well as I imagined I’d do.

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation