Being Responsible for Others: Working with Interns – 322

working with interns emotional support

I had the privilege of being a supervisor for a pair of interns this summer, for an organization I volunteer at. While some people may groan and fuss about having to watch a couple of college students all summer, I found it exceptionally rewarding.

Mostly because they were fresh faces with fresh perspectives on things in life. It was really great to get to know them as individuals and see where their strengths and talents lie.

For example, our first meeting we simply got to know each other and our personality types. We talked about our astrological signs, our Enneagram numbers and whether we side more on the introvert or extrovert side. So the first impression was that everyone understood where each person was, self-honestly, and from there I got to determine what type of work I could give them, where they could thrive.

Of course, this was a learning process, as I first started to give the male intern work on graphic design because he was more of the art type who had a love of the finer things in life. However, I saw that I was excluding the opportunity for the female intern to take on the job too, so I then decided to assign her some tasks with graphic design. I knew she and I discussed beforehand that she never really worked with graphics, but lo and behold, after much tinkering around, she designed some pretty amazing things and I think became proud of herself.

Eventually though as shit started to hit the fan between me and my co-founder in regards to finances and drama at the location we were at, I started to see our unit as a family. A family that needs to stay strong and stable amidst the turmoil going on. I soon started to see the interns as children. Where my co-founder and I were like the parents and that the emotions and shit we were experiencing towards things happening on the outside, could seep into our relationship with the interns.

Eventually, it got to the point where I had to became the sole ‘parent’ or person who had to keep everything together and became entirely responsible for the ‘kids’/interns. It was no fun and I still have to deal with reactions with this point, but I could really see the intrinsic responsibility that comes forth when you allow people to work with you and walk with you in your life, that you see every day. That they (the interns) started to pick up on subtleties and changes going on between me and my co-founder and started to ask about it.

I then took the liberty of being honest and direct with what was going on behind the scenes, in a way that didn’t reveal everything but enough for them to understand the stuff that can happen in an organization. And from this, I also realized the importance of the co-founders needing to stick together, but also the truth that: running a business or organization with a friend may not be the best idea. It certainly is not working for me.

I also realized for myself, after many mistakes, that I am best to do projects alone, by myself, being my own boss and CEO. This has inspired me to take on a new venture/project that is currently in the making, that is more aligned to me. Where no one is boss except me.

So, to sum this all up – when you take responsibility for a set of interns, my suggestion is to realize you are responsible for them in a way, similar to a parent, in that they do look up to you for guidance and instruction. They still have a lot of learning in life (as we all do), but since you are the supervisor, you need to consider who you are, your actions, and how you handle things – especially when shit hits the fan. Would you like the interns to take on these characteristics you’ve been displaying and have them apply it later in their life? Because that’s how supervisors are supposed to act?

For example, when shit hits the fan are you going to freak out in front of everyone or are you going to sit down and start brainstorming for solutions? This is what I had to do because I had no choice. I could not show the interns that being and feeling defeated in the face of the system and giving up on the organization is the way to go. You have to keep moving on until you tested all options and see that it is best in the end. Overall it’s important that you show your interns, or whoever is with you, to not give up. Even if that means you have to take on a load for a while until things settle down.

I could not have come to such stability and drive for solutions if it were not for the Desteni tools and community. I truly believe walking my process with them made me become a more pragmatic, practical, less emotional, and commonsensical person.

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

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Tracing the Source of the Conflict – 316

I went into the room, upset at the sudden change in dynamic between me and my partner. We got into a conflict which we were both stuck in. The middle of my chest was feeling like a tingling firecracker. I thought about going to a movie to give him some space, or on a walk, but I have done this before and I’d always end up coming back home in the same state and having to talk with my partner about what happened anyways. So I saw that it would be better to – instead of wasting time by giving my partner ”space” by going out, to just cut to the chase and talk to him about what happened.

So I sat down next to him and we together traced back to the moment that triggered my partner into his sudden change of state that effected me. We found out it was something specific I said yesterday, that in it’s nature was manipulative, and my partner could feel that / pick up on that, but didn’t know how to direct it. So he allowed himself to give into my manipulation / control and ended up getting angry and took it out on me the next day by acting manipulative / controlling, which I took as a shock and decided to speak up about it.

What I found out was that: it’s freaking hard to admit when you were or are being manipulative. It is a very shameful expression to live and be in when you step out of it and realize it, yet when you’re in it, you feel very powerful, but the consequences and harm it can do to people is so hard to face. However, I did face myself in that moment – even though it was hard to say it, that I was manipulating – it lead to us finding out that my partner actually has a really good sense in being able to pick up when people are manipulating, he just didn’t know how to deal with it when I was doing it.

So we made an agreement – next time you see me being manipulative, and you can pick up on it / sense it, to let me know so I can stop it in its tracks and snap out of it. We will see how it goes for next time, but this is my little tidbit of support for people who are in a relationship and may face moments of a partner manipulating the other. Perhaps you want to make an agreement by deciding on which words and methods that will help the partner snap out of their harmful behavior.  But some techniques may fail, and it does take both partners in the relationship to commit to finding the right method that works for you, so you can create and maintain a peaceful and harmonious relationship together.

Thanks for reading!

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

An Overload of Distraction Pleasures the Mind but Not Our Potentials – 314

jed-villejo-647973-unsplashRecently I realized how there is an overwhelming amount of distractions for us. Especially for me and those living in a elite positions where we have access to an unlimited selection of tv shows and movies at one’s disposal – not to mention high speed internet where one can go on and do whatever they want on there.

I’ve been questioning me and my position as an ‘elite’ lately. Meaning, me as someone who can – and does live at times – overly-indulgently. How essentially living and being in such a position is quite a good trap for the world system and consciousness in keeping us preoccupied by indulging constantly in these luxurious.

Like I have access to three tv streaming services, with a plethora of my favorite shows. It is almost too easy to just indulge and forget everything, and I am beginning to look at how these streaming services are designed to keep us elite humans entertained and happy while we forget and lose touch with the real problems going on in the world. There was a specific research article once that said those who are unhappy watch the most TV…

I see that it is us as the collectives fault within all of this. We are becoming a society where everything is given to us so quickly, and almost ‘free’ in a way that we forget what it means to create things with OUR OWN HANDS. Everything we seem to touch is a distraction and a way to divert ourselves and the mind from what we are really going through within.

Additionally –  it dawned on me that if I can’t sleep I’ll watch TV. I figured out it was a way for me to avoid things going on in me. It’s just too easy to try and divert yourself and problems by watching something engaging and entertaining, while the  things within are still not being resolved and will still affect me the coming day – until I do something about it, or I walk into my own consequence.

This is certainly a wake up call for me and I hope other people too when it comes to being more aware of who we are with the amount of entertainment, social media and online distractions we are participating in – as means to feel something other than what we are feeling within. To become more aware of why we are going to our phones, picking up the remote, or watching a movie and see how we can balance that out entertainment with practical work like taking care of the home, and oneself by figuring out how to deal with personal problems.

For me, the era of overly self-indulgence is coming to an end. I know I have a lot of work to do, and I don’t want to continue neglecting things that truly need to be taken care of. Will let you know how it goes! Thanks for reading.

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

Imagination Impressions & Physical Reality – 312

david-fanuel-620585-unsplashDo you ever daydream or imagine doing something impressive and then when you physically do the action its far different than what you imagined?

Something I’d like to share is that some time ago I imagined me dancing well to a particular song, believing that I could do well since I have background experience in dance.

Then when I actually watched a tutorial on how to dance to the song and physically tried out the moves I was hit by surprise to see how what I believed would be easy was not. I fumbled around with my arms and body trying to mimjc the dancer in the video. Reality gave me a taste of what is REAL because what I THOUGHT I was good at got totally squished when I applied this thought to physical reality.

Which is yet again another indication for me on how important it is to cross reference myself by physical living and actions. That if I for example believe myself to be nice it must be proven in the physical by how nice I take care of myself, my body and others. So physical reality really is that point of absolute truth of me and all of us really.

So this is a short blog on a realization I had that has helped me see nothing is in fact true unless proven and shown in reality. What I THINK and BELIEVE about myself, who I am and what I can do can only be validated if it is lived and proven in the physical.

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

The Reality of Being Unconditional – 307

steve-halama-401099-unsplash

Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash

In the Desteni community, a question was asked: How do you understand or see the word ‘unconditional’? Do you live this word? If so, How?

For me, being unconditional is like a god who loves you no matter who you are or what you do. They take you in and accept you completely.

I see this similarly to the physical EARTH – the physical takes us in and allows us as beings to exist and live on this Earth. Yet we are like blinded rats who harm the Earth and not take it into consideration the kind of pollution and destruction we cause onto it.

My physical BODY for example has dealt through a lot of binge eating and emotional reactions – some that would develop into panic attacks. Yet my body has not removed me or thrown me out or something lol. It still allows me to breathe and be here…

I also know the body does have its point where it will start showing signs of disease/problems/cancer over time as it cannot sustain itself and needs additional support. From what I read through Desteni – cancer for example is a result when the body turns against the being/the person occupying it because of the years of abuse the being placed on it.

Looking at this, it’s strange we see and interact with our body like it’s a stranger. Our lack of awareness of what’s really going on inside and the body’s limit does show how separate we really are from our physical and this physical existence.

For me it’s similar to a mother who birthed a child but then later down the line they no longer see the child as a part of them and abuses them without any care or consideration. This I believe we do unto our bodies; with the amount of harmful emotions, eating habits, physical harm etc we place on ourselves but our bodies are innocent and unconditional in allowing us to be in their vessel for us to live. We forget we are A PART OF OUR BODIES.

I say it’s time we start shifting our awareness to focus more on ourselves and the relationship we have with our bodies. Treating the body as a companion for life – as it realistically is – a body that carries us through life.

What I am doing is developing an awareness of how I talk and treat myself and finding ways on how to shift my self-treatment to self support. Much of my movement of this comes from what I am learning from Mind Body Innerverse and the Desteni Community I’m involved in. I could not be doing this if it weren’t for them!!

 

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

Thank Goodness for DIP Buddies

niko-photos-333391-unsplashIn a state of overwhelming emotion I contacted my Desteni i Process* buddy and they supported me by being direct and sharing their personal experience with the point I was going through. This gave me the direction I needed to make a decision within myself about what I’m going to do about what I was struggling with. 

From this, I say, I am truly grateful to have access to my DIP buddy, to go to for these little ”emergencies” or in need of guidance outside of our regular chat days and times. However I do recognize the importance of not ABUSING that availability by going to them for things I know I can figure out first by myself.

In this specific case I was really struggling and other ways/means of working with it didn’t pull through, so I needed to talk to someone. And knowing my buddy’s availability and expertise on the point, I knew they could help.

At first I doubted if its “okay” to contact them when it’s not during a regularly scheduled chat, but because I didnt want to wait for our next chat, and was in a pretty difficult state, I just contacted them to see. 

For those walking the Desteni i Process – you have quite a gift with having a buddy who can be there for you, not just once a week, but more if needed. But like I said, be careful you don’t abuse the oppurtunity and take advantage of them… find a balance to work on things yourself and use other sources and people if need be. Our buddies have lives too, so they cannot be at our every beck and call 🙂 but they really are truly a “blessing”!

*What is the Desteni i Process? It’s a life coaching platform where you’ll learn essential life skills and practice simple common-sense tools such as self-forgiveness, writing and self-corrective application. Based on years of research & practice, developed with attention to detail, proven by hundreds of people and delivered to you comfortably through the web.

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

Being the Creator of my Own Stress – 306

alex-iby-221654-unsplashIt’s a funny title isn’t it? Being the creator of my own stress. But I realise I am…and reality showed me that with the following:

I was alone in my apartment. I usually work at home, so I was at the table doing my work. It was quiet outside with the occasional chatter of my neighbors. I got no demanding texts from my boss that triggered stress – I found the stress I had come from me PRESSURING myself in a sense of urgency and impatience to get my work done as soon as possible so I can move onto other things.

I became like an authoritarian, suppressing the life and voice of the calm, common sensical me and pushed and drove myself hard within rigidness and no mercy within my work. 

I found the back story or reason behind my personality – the honesty point being “I don’t like my work and this is not what I want to do. I have no choice but must do it” so within a state of helplessness (cause I have to do it) and anger (because I dont want to do it) I then push myself to do my work in a state of impatience and stress – wanting to get the work done as soon as possible so I can move onto things I want or need to do. 

Memories of doing math homework with my mother represents this point well for me. When she would help me with my math homework both of us would be angry and stressy because I had to do the homework (but didn’t know how to and needed my moms help) and both of us wanted to do other things but essentially felt locked down we had to do it. So my mother would get impatient with me (because I was slow/didnt get it) and I would get stressed/scared. 

The bottom line being: we were reacting accordingly because we didn’t want to do what was in front of us in the moment – but it had to get done – but we knew it was going to be a process and struggle and cause some discomfort in between. It was going to test our patience too. And we made it worse for ourselves reacting on top of what we were expecting – the struggle, strife and pain. 

And let’s be honest – no one wants to go through that. We rather avoid or cope or suppress from the hard painful things because we know if we jump in and walk in the challenging moments we are going to struggle, fall, maybe cry and punch our pillow – so who has time for that and wants to go through that? 

We see challenges and things we don’t want to do but must as these jaw clenching obstacles – but we make it worse for ourselves by REACTING towards what we have to do and thus create stress. 

We miss out on the journey itself if we are already reacting towards it.  The journey being the ups and downs, realizations, and yes experiencing the emotions that’s also a normal natural part when you embark on a journey. The key is to work through them as much as you can in every moment of breath.

This is something I’m still learning – is slowing down and being more attentive to what is going on internally while having to do work externally. For so long I would lose myself in work, in the moment, hardwired and driven I wouldn’t eat or drink. But now I’m learning how to balance being present internally and externally. 

Though it is hard if you are expected to act fast in the job. At this stage in my life my job does not require me to work and act fast that is something I created for myself and added all the stress to it.

Now I will be practicing slowing down as I work, and seeing what it’s like when I walk with me on the journey of work from my start time to end time.

I will also redefine the word JOURNEY since it will be a journey for me to walk my job Mon-Friday.

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation