From Jealousy to Practical Living – 325

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I was watching a TV show a month ago, and there appeared a woman who was a yoga teacher, smiling and expressing herself. Immediately within me, I was jealous of her. Here she was bubbly, friendly-looking, while also exuding a calm and laid-back attitude. The point that she was a yoga teacher and the exercise supported her to be such a way was something I truly desired and wanted to be/do.

I had let go of daily yoga practice quite a while ago to allow work to get in the way of my self-care and wellbeing. Because of this, I noticed a dip in my mood as well as weight gain and overall feeling unwell in myself and my process. I dropped something that truly benefited me in exchange for an addiction to work.

The TV show and person, triggered me to look at a potential I was not accessing and using to my advantage. The potential that – I can get back to daily, or weekly yoga practice because that particular movement/exercise has been most nourishing for me, and my life, time and time again.

I remember specifically before I saw the show, I had a chat with my DIP buddy discussing jealousy and what that means, as well as reading Anna’s Instagram post on using jealousy as a means to do what you see in another.

So from this support combined I took action and decided to start my yoga practice again –  just doing a practice I’m comfortable with and can handle, which was at the start, a 15-minute morning yoga exercise. Then gradually it became a 40-minute practice.

Day to day I take it slow and easy on myself, doing yoga in the mornings, as it was the best and most convenient time for me. I would check in with the YouTube videos to see which one I was interested in doing that day, depending on how I’m doing and how much energy I have.

But I really make sure to do yoga consistently now, because I know how nourishing and supportive it is for me. If I miss a day or even week of doing yoga I know I will always try to it when I can. I know that if there comes a time when I do slip, in not honoring a consistent yoga practice, then I will eventually get back to it.

Thanks, universe for bringing this point forward in me! 🙂

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone on Holiday – 324

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My partner and I are vacationing in a small town in Greece. It’s really interesting to observe and be present with reactions when entering a new place/country.

For me especially, at the beginning of my holiday, I was in a constant state of dissatisfaction and criticism. I could feel the reactions towards the accommodation, and location creep up in me, and instead of suppressing, I allowed them to come up. Just be with them. I knew these were comfort zones being challenged, and that being here was actually a good/supportive thing. There were a lot of realities present that I wasn’t prepared for when coming to Greece, but were necessary to experience: poor plumbing, power outages, having to walk up and down hills to get to the market or places (if you don’t have a car), having to buy water bottles because tap water is unsafe, having to see stray cats who aren’t neutered, with their babies, and are thin/hungry.

In a way, this experience has been extremely humbling for me. I realize I need these reality checks every now and then because I can get so caught up in my life in Austria and its comforts, I take advantage of that. I sometimes forget about how life is for other people and animals around the world.

Being here in Greece has put my survival into perspective. I have to think about if I have enough water bottles, whether I should go out at certain times of the day because it’s so hot, be careful with cooking and handling local water. Also, I have to be more in tune with myself and my surroundings because there are wild plants, bugs, and animals to be aware of.

This sort of ”wildness” as I can describe is very good for me to experience, to get back to life/reality and see how things really are in this world. Getting out of my comfort zone on holiday is cool.

While some things are harder here in Greece, compared to where I live in Austria, the people are exceptionally warm, open and friendly with you, as a stranger. It’s really nice and different than what I face in Austria. Plus, there is natural beauty all around, from the cypress and palm trees, mountains, the sea/beaches, and the interesting birds and wildlife.

I find it really healthy for oneself to go off to a foreign place from time to time and really get involved, dive in deep with how things are, and live life like the locals. It will certainly challenge your comfort zones and bring new perspectives on how to live and enjoy life.

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

Redefining “…forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” – 320

fadi-xd-799659-unsplashJesus said, “…forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

I have stumbled upon this quote over the last couple of months, both within my DIP buddy chats, and Desteni community chats. But for some reason I couldn’t get it, and I couldn’t see why I should forgive people when they do not know what they are doing.

A part of me was stuck with the word ”know.” Usually, people know to an extent what they are doing, ie: they know they are hitting someone, or speaking hurtful words to someone – they must know to an extent what they are doing is not cool, but where do we forgive them within all of that?

I had to actually redefine the entire sentence for me to truly get it. I redefined the sentence to being: to forgive people for their mistakes/wrongdoings because they are not or weren’t aware of the consequences and impact of their actions/words/presence towards themselves and others.

So by bringing the word ”aware” into the sentence (by replacing ”know” with aware), for me the sentence makes sense, and much easier for me to practice forgiveness. It’s because they are not/were not aware of how they may have hurt me and how that actually hurts them too (by adding consequence to their life and beingness process) because they did not/do not have the skills, and proper education to be aware of themselves and the impact their words/behaviors/actions have on people in the long-run.

So this, to me, is more clear now after working from the original sentence, and I feel much better about it.

To learn more about redefining words, please check out: SOUL – School of Ultimate Living


Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

When Your Plan to Turn a Competitor into a Friendship Doesn’t Work Out – 317

Yesterday I had a meeting with someone who I had difficulty with within the journalism world for some time. She and I have been the major competitors of each other, and I thought it was about time I sit down with her, to get to know her and learn more about who she is and her intentions. This is because I wanted to finally be clear of some assumptions I had of her, and thought we could create a potential friendship and ultimately be cool with each other.

I made sure before I did meet her to clear myself as much as possible with Self-Forgiveness and direction, but still was nervous and apprehensive about our meeting.

Generally, the meeting was fine. I got to learn more about her intentions which have to do with survival and providing her own source of income through her work. This made sense to me as to why she is very competitive and seems to have issue with me as her other competitor. The problem was, was that I expected us to be cool and friends at the end, but it didn’t turn out as so – the ending was brief and superficial, and it left me nauseous. Knowing that despite our meeting and me trying to show and share more about myself so I can open the door for her to see the kind of relationship I’d like to create for us didn’t work. I realized that I can’t change someone, no matter what I do or how much I may work on myself, or open the door to my heart – that person has to make the decision to change and allow me into their lives.

My disappointment came from the fact that I expected us to be friends and cool at the end, as I mentioned before, because that’s what happened to my friend and I wanted that. But it seemed like on her end it wasn’t possible. It’s quite sad that two women, who yes, use to or are currently competitors, can’t put things down to rest and create a relationship that supports one another. I know I must honor their process and their decisions, but it does suck.

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate women not wanting to be friends with me, as it shows me that I must let go of control and the desire / want for people to like me and want to be cool / friends with me. I see, realize and understand I have a problem with conflict, and people genuinely not liking me or having issues with me, because somehow somewhere to me that means something is wrong with me. I also realize I have the false idea that everyone should like me, and that if they don’t, something is wrong with me, as I should automatically be liked by everyone. I realize that is a survival mechanism I picked up from my mother, who strives to be liked and will ”bend her own back” to please and like, even if it’s borderline abusive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear upon realizing that even despite sharing and showing myself, my heart, that another won’t forgive me or accept me or want to lay things to rest / water under the bridge, that the person still holds onto a grudge or suspicion about me, which I now realize and understand is normal, in that with getting to understand their intentions, survival and financial security is most important and I have been made a threat to them in their minds, thus only they can work that point out themselves, despite my attempts showing I would rather create a friendship/partnership.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become sad and allow the sadness to influence me and my expression, because I am not certain how to direct reality of a woman-friendship born out of suspicion, threat and fear is still prevalent in another and thus cannot be changed, and thus I cannot get my desired, or potential outcome of being cool / at peace with someone.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to make peace with the fact that we will both remain separate and not friends, and thus natural competitors in the world system, and that I am and have been redefining my form of competition into something healthy, and that is something I must walk alone. That I must find a way to be ok with failing in my attempts of not being friends with a competitor from the world system. I also realize it is up to them to be cool / friends with me, after I attempted so, and can only leave the door open for them from here forward.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel and become sad seeing the potential of women being cool / friends / supporters and not enemies / competitors / vicious with each other is a process I can only walk alone, to establish and create and be in myself, where I then become the living example of a woman with no issues towards anyone else, and that I am able to stand one and equal with every individual without reaction. That I realize I must be the change I wish to see in the world, by literally living it as an example, and being it through living words and actual real-time change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge X as bad for not wanting to be cool or friends with me, as I realize I cannot judge X’s decision, because X’s reasons come from a source of survival, needing security, and perhaps feeling threatened in between it all. I realize there is always a reason why someone does something, and that I have no right nor power to judge their actions and decisions. I can see more of their character, what they exist in, accept and allow, but it doesn’t make them better or less than me on a existential level. I redefine ”bad” as being unacceptable in the face of life within what is best for all, and her walking away from creating a friendship / supporting relationship is not bad, it is a decision that does not harm me and is acceptable in the face of life which is best for all. It shows where she is at in her life and decisions. That’s all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my relationship with someone to another’s relationship, that I ideally wanted, and wanted to create that. I realize that I used the other’s relationship as a goal, but reality showed me where I am with someone instead, which also shows that what I wanted was not possible, and that I cannot compare relationships because each relationship is unique.

I see I crave and desire a female friendship again where we love and accept each other, which can only start from me accepting and loving myself and being fulfilled by that. Not seeking external support or person for that.

Self-Commitment Statements:

I commit myself to practice and find ways / solutions to be at peace with people having issues / problems with me, as having problems with others shows there are problems with oneself towards oneself not resolved, as I realize in the end all must be one and equal and stand in everyone’s shoes without reaction.

I commit myself to let go of the need / want / desire to control myself to get to a future outcome I want, as I realize life is organic, unpredictable, including many factors from people and things.

I commit to honor where a person is in life, and to honor myself / my self-honesty process, and continue to build / walk it.

I commit myself to use the sadness as a means to embrace that which I am not giving myself – my own friendship / companionship, and to stop looking outside for it.

I commit myself to walk my own process of competition, where I discover what is healthy for me, despite people maybe not liking me or finding me a threat. I realize I can’t be friends with everyone, even though I’d like to be, as that is not realistic in this day and age in this world.

I commit myself to purify and see the word ‘’bad’’ as something unacceptable in the face of life that’s best for all, and good which is nurturing within life within what’s best for all.

I commit myself to be ok aiming for a goal in relationships, but to not get too frustrated if it doesn’t work out in a certain timeframe, or if a person genuinely doesn’t want to reach the same goal as you. I realize it’s ok to test things out and see if it’s a possibility, and to be flexible if it doesn’t work out or needs adjusting.

I commit myself to stop looking outside and towards other people to fulfill the needs in me, but find practical ways to fill those needs myself. Like finding a practical way to create companionship with me. What is self-companionship?

 

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

Day 303: Seeing Beyond the Bad & Re-Balancing

mike-wilson-310597As I walking my Mind Construct through the Desteni I Process, I came upon a point that really struck me: It was how narrow minded I had become in seeing or believing only the ”bad” about someone — essentially staying stuck in a limited frame of mind, and not giving myself the opportunity to really LOOK at the person and see the multi dimensional aspects of them because they are more than what we define of them.

We don’t know who or what they are like alone with themselves or with their family or animals. But we have this tendency to want to stick to an idea we have about them because it then makes us feel justified and we stay stuck in this justification because it feeds a certain personality or experience or belief we have about ourselves.

Like for me staying stuck in the belief this person is a “horrible teacher” and justifying this belief by re-playing all the bad scenes or things they’ve done to me or with the students, instead of allowing myself to see beyond that and CONSIDER that there is more than what I saw and believe — but a part of me doesn’t want to knowledge that or see beyond my limited perception of them otherwise I will be challenged and my comfort zone will be challenged.

I also realize: If I allow myself to see and recognize the “good” and / or other aspects of me, I show myself that I am more than the bad I see…I am so much more.

Yes – the “bad” needs to be confronted and changed, but the good has to be strengthened just as well – equally so – in a consistent way so that a healthy balance is established within me.

So a new activity I will look into and start is how to practically balance the good/strengths and bad/weaknesses within me, so I am working equally on both of them and not focusing on just one aspect, because then I would only suppress and ignore the other – so both need to be faced and worked on to establish a healthy base for myself.

 

Recommended Resources:

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

299. Being in My Original Home & Culture – Part 2, Being with Reality.

jon-flobrant-230583I am very thankful for reality for showing me the self-deception I had given into – I gave into these false beliefs and ideas that being back at my original home for vacation (and having parents who provide me free shelter, food, some money and a car to basically go whatever I want) would mean that everything will be all-right and smooth sailing.

I say I’m grateful for reality giving me its reality check because it humbled me to realize that yes – even despite having a ‘break’ from my normal life and its responsibilities, I still have THIS life / MY life to be aware of and take care of … I’ll give an example:

Today I was to meet friends for breakfast in a city an hour from my home. I made sure to give me enough time to drive there and find parking. I realized the car I was driving needed gas to get me to the destination. This was a reality check – something real that needed to be done.

In fantasy/desire in my mind I did not want to put gas in my car – I wanted to just ‘go for it’ / risk it and see ‘along the way’ if I needed gas – but I soon realized I’ve done this before – where a few years ago I became quite sloppy in my responsibility to my car and would drive a long time to get to a destination, and would find I would get to a point of being dangerously low on fuel where it was not guaranteed I would make it to the gas station in time.

So I faced that moment again today – where my desires of just wanting to start driving and worry about putting gas in the car later came up, and I said no – I’m not going to risk it – I’m going to play it safe and get my shit together and put gas in that car, even despite it feeling like it was an additional ”burden”.

BUT: Is putting gas in the car REALLY a BURDEN? According to the dictionary a burden is a ”heavy load.” Putting gas in your car is a NATURAL RESPONSIBILITY – naturally you must take care of the car if YOU USE IT, and so – fill it up with the fuel when it’s needed otherwise it will not function FOR YOU.

So it’s like: If you can’t handle the natural simple responsibility of taking care of your car, you should not drive one.

I had to face a choice of taking care of myself and the car: I filled up the car with gas, and then I had to drive very carefully and slowly because the weather hit the road quite harshly – lots of rain, wind, some ice.

A part of me fiercely came up, like fighting with reality – I did not WANT to slow down, I wanted to get to my destination in how I wanted to. Boy, it was a very immature selfish part of me rearing it’s head saying shit like ”I want it my way, fuck you weather.” I was basically fighting with the LAWS of NATURE and RULES OF THE ROAD – what was HERE.

Then I realized I haven’t yet equalized myself to the rules of the road – there is the tendency to try and rebel and do things ‘my way’ on the road, but I would end up getting in trouble (close to accidents, risking relationships/lives with other drivers).

So then my friend’s partner came up in me – he is very physical and good with driving/being on the road. I remembered how I enjoyed his presence in the car, his confidence and carefulness of the road, so I ‘liked that’ and decided to be/emerge as that – tapping into the words he represented to me (careful, mature, physical, aware) and I was able to slow down on the road, being more focused and attentive to my safety and the safety of the car. Doing this worked, — where the process of driving made me feel more confident, mature and comfortable.

So with driving, I am going to become what I liked in another – physically aware of myself and the car on the road, being careful and attentive to the laws/ways of driving, keeping me and my car’s safety in check top priority.

 

Recommended Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

297. Extracting the Gift & Words in Dreams

jake-davies-339189How I’ve been working with dreams is that – whenever I have a prominent dream – a dream that ‘’sticks’’ with me when I wake up, with strong emotions, that is my indication that laying behind the dream is a gift and specific word(s) for me to extract and discover.

What I’ve been doing is I look at what happened in the dream, and what I reacted strongly too. Then I walk Self-Forgiveness to release myself from the emotion to see what point is behind it for me to learn from, and the word that comes from the reaction that I can now use in expanding myself in my self-creation process.

So for example I had a dream where I found my partner was looking at porn and I reacted strongly to this. I was basically hysterical – screaming at him.

During the dream I was so into the reactions I ‘’lost’’ myself in those moments. I woke up and forgave myself of being so hysterical towards my partner, and found a supportive word for me to redefine and apply in my life from here on – that is UNDERSTAND – redefining it to – asking questions and walking a process / journey of finding where I or another person stands with things.

So I in a way extracted my reaction to the dream, forgave it, investigated it into finding a support word and tested it by applying it in the dream (meaning, go back and walk the correction in applying the word  UNDERSTAND in asking my partner straightforwardly Why are you looking at porn again? For me to get to a space of knowing where he stands with it so I can then assist and support since I would then know what he is going through).

This word – UNDERSTAND – I also then am applying in my daily life, where whenever I react to something, instead of avoiding the reaction, or letting it go, I FIND OUT what it is I reacted to by asking questions or using writing / other ways and means to get to a point of knowing where I stand with something, so I can then decide if I want to continue living in this point or change it.

Then I also shared my dream with my partner – and through him walking a process of self-consciousness he was additionally able to point out that the dream also showed how I have issues with MY BODY. So this then I am grateful to see/realize how this dream was more of a gift in disguise that just needs to points extracted to be looked at and sorted through understanding and solutions.

You can request a Dream Reading if you would like someone to analyze it here.

Here is a special recording on the Meaning of Dreams if you’re interested.

 

Recommended Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation