Eradicating the Worst of Me – 323

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated when I see my former competitors still make success and money for themselves, as I secretly fear that they have or will be taking my place in terms of the area we both have competed in. I realize I have secretly competed against them to make sure I was at the top. Now since I have stopped playing that game, the drive to crush/replace/destroy needs to be corrected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to crush, destroy, and annihilate my competitors so that I am on the only one in my field/on top and thus no threat is upon me, where I can breathe and just be me. I realize only in an Equal Money System could I truly rest and be at peace with my financial situation, and me, as my needs would be taken care of financially forever/my whole life, and thus there would be no fear of someone threatening to upstage me as my survival would already beset by an external force supporting me. And that I could just be me and whoever and however I express myself, I still have a secured survival.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take the anger, the righteous, and seemingly ‘power’ I experience in wanting to crush/destroy/annihilate my competitors and use that to create a better life for myself, and everyone involved by actually working on my mind in eradicating/destroying the worst of me that I see/hate in others and this world.

I commit myself to take the hatred, anger, righteousness, and feeling of power I have towards people and things in my world and turn it towards myself in eradicating/deleting/getting rid of the worst shit within me.

I commit myself to realize an Equal Money System can get started by me no longer serving the ‘survival of the fittest’ mindset of wanting to crush my competitors and instead strive to live for a better world where all are taken care of, financially for their well-being and just existing in this life.

I commit myself to explore what living for/as an Equal Money System truly is, and how to practically live that type of existence by eradicating the old programming/ways of myself and former generations that are evil/corrupt/screwed up.

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

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Neglecting the Physical Body & Correction – 318

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This is post I will be utilizing the tools of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Commitment statements from the Desteni community to work through the point of neglecting my body and health.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my self-expression by going into guilt for not being able to be well enough to go into work. I realize I have placed work above health, in that I am not happy with myself that I can’t work and please my co-workers due to my physical health affecting my capacity to work. I realize the physical body rules all – even work – and that the physical must be honored and taken care of, otherwise if one’s physical health fails, then that obviously will impair one’s ability to work and live in some ways.

I commit myself to realize that the physical body rules all – in that, how I live, breathe, act and am in this physical world is due to my body, and so it must be honored and treated as the god it is otherwise my capacity to live and work effectively will decline

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be BLIND to the fact that I can get by working and putting pressure on myself to perform well and high in everything I do and neglect my body, in terms of giving it the rest, nutrition, exercise and self-care it needs. I realize by ignoring and being blind to my body, I ignore a large, extremely important part of myself. That I do not only function as the mind, but that my body, is a extension of me, my beingness and must also equally be taken care of. I realize that a BALANCE must be in order – where I am able to be aware of myself as my emotions/thoughts/feelings, my body as the physical in terms of pain – instead of the focus only being on me/my mind and what I am doing on the OUTSIDE.

I commit myself to realize that if I neglect my body, I neglect one of the most important aspects of myself and actually my body, the physical will time and time again remind me of my neglect (through pains, illness, etc) as a reason to show what must be priority – that it must be taken care of and considered all the time, as I realize I cannot function properly in this world without a functioning, stable body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can get by taking medicine for the rest of my life as a point of dependency, that this medicine will carry me through life, instead of realizing how my mind as me evolves, new points in my body evolves which may not accompany the medicine I’m taking, thus I will always be on a journey of exploring and understanding what works for me, as there is no one-fits-all-solution to the health issues I face. I realize I must equally work on my own mind points – otherwise I won’t be able to equally assist my physical points. I realize that in order to truly heal, I need to work on my mind points equally to the physical points. Can’t just be one, but to healing holistically, all aspects of me, mind, body, and being/‘’spirit’’.

I commit myself to REMEMBER every sick I go through an illness or health issue, that I cannot just take care of the physical aspect by depending on medicine for the rest of my life – and if I do I will lead a miserable life, depending on others while I lose directing my own life and seeing what works for me, because what I also exist in, within the mind exasperates the health problem, and can even create more problems if I don’t solve them. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting down to the nitty gritty details of my points connected to my health issues, and my relationship with health, because it means I will change and actually may be in a better state than I am

I commit myself to realize there is no state of perfection, physically at this time in existence, and that the most simple best thing I can do is to take care of myself day by day, and stop projecting a unrealistic version of me and my health

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being in a stable, healthy state as I know and believe I won’t always be like this. I realize there is truth to that – even if I am at my prime, I am still susceptible to colds, flus, viruses, accidents, so it’s more that I need to be ok with not being physically perfect, and accepting that these things may happen but it’s not something to fear about, but accept, since it’s a part of life, and there will always be pains, and body points, no matter how fit or healthy I may be. I realize it’s more of me needing to focus on the present and how I can support myself in the present, in giving the tender, love and care me and my body need on a day-to-day basis. As everyday is going to be different, and me and my body will need unique things everyday that must be attended to.

I commit myself to tend to me and my body by recognizing the daily needs they require, and take it easy by practicing listening and responding to these needs everyday – like for emotions that need resolutions to write/forgive them, and physical needs like hunger to feed myself. I also commit myself to take this remembrance process slow and not beat myself up if I forget or don’t do as well as I imagined I’d do.

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

297. Extracting the Gift & Words in Dreams

jake-davies-339189How I’ve been working with dreams is that – whenever I have a prominent dream – a dream that ‘’sticks’’ with me when I wake up, with strong emotions, that is my indication that laying behind the dream is a gift and specific word(s) for me to extract and discover.

What I’ve been doing is I look at what happened in the dream, and what I reacted strongly too. Then I walk Self-Forgiveness to release myself from the emotion to see what point is behind it for me to learn from, and the word that comes from the reaction that I can now use in expanding myself in my self-creation process.

So for example I had a dream where I found my partner was looking at porn and I reacted strongly to this. I was basically hysterical – screaming at him.

During the dream I was so into the reactions I ‘’lost’’ myself in those moments. I woke up and forgave myself of being so hysterical towards my partner, and found a supportive word for me to redefine and apply in my life from here on – that is UNDERSTAND – redefining it to – asking questions and walking a process / journey of finding where I or another person stands with things.

So I in a way extracted my reaction to the dream, forgave it, investigated it into finding a support word and tested it by applying it in the dream (meaning, go back and walk the correction in applying the word  UNDERSTAND in asking my partner straightforwardly Why are you looking at porn again? For me to get to a space of knowing where he stands with it so I can then assist and support since I would then know what he is going through).

This word – UNDERSTAND – I also then am applying in my daily life, where whenever I react to something, instead of avoiding the reaction, or letting it go, I FIND OUT what it is I reacted to by asking questions or using writing / other ways and means to get to a point of knowing where I stand with something, so I can then decide if I want to continue living in this point or change it.

Then I also shared my dream with my partner – and through him walking a process of self-consciousness he was additionally able to point out that the dream also showed how I have issues with MY BODY. So this then I am grateful to see/realize how this dream was more of a gift in disguise that just needs to points extracted to be looked at and sorted through understanding and solutions.

You can request a Dream Reading if you would like someone to analyze it here.

Here is a special recording on the Meaning of Dreams if you’re interested.

 

Recommended Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

 

286. Wholesome Embrace as Living Expression

christiana-rivers-217056I listened to the recording on EQAFE called The Simplicity of Taste. One point that was brought forward was identifying the words that you experience when you taste food.  Eating a juicy orange could for example conjure up the words ”bubbly excitement,” within you and the next step would see where have you experienced a bubbly excitement  in your life, and where can you apply and live that in your life.

I played with this approach today while eating a slice of pizza. It was a large, greasy cheesy slice with spinach on top and as I ate it the words ”wholesome embrace” came through me. In me I asked where have I experienced this word in my life? Then a memory popped up of my uncle who I use to visit every year, and he was very affectionate and he use to really hug me, hold me and embrace me, wholesomely. It was a very nice embrace, and I really enjoyed his affectionate expression towards me.

Upon seeing this remembrance and connection to the words ”wholesome embrace” the pizza held for me, I walked a forgiveness line to re-align / merge the expression my uncle expressed / lived back into me, where I then made an internal commitment statement to wholesomely embrace my partner, family and friends with a big hug when I greet them, just as my uncle did. Within that I also gained gratefulness – gratefulness my uncle lived and expressed this word and being affectionate towards me, because he was the only family member who did this, so he was very unique in that expression.

The steps I walked in the process was:

  1. Eat the food (lol)
  2. As you eat the food, what experience as words would you say this food brings up in you? (ie: ”Bubbly excitement” ”Wholesome embrace”)
  3. Once you identify the words – where in your life have you experienced this word, or what memories come forth connected to this experience?
  4. Walk a self-forgiveness process to re-align the word / living expression back to yourself and gain clarity on where or how you can use it in your life nowadays
  5. Be clear on how exactly you will live this word in your life, stick to it until it becomes second-nature in you and have fun!

So this was a technique I used from the EQAFE recording The Simplicity of Taste … maybe you want to try it out yourself 🙂

 

Suggested Resources:

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

283. Business Partners, Enemies and Money

business enemies partners moneyI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an ”enemies’‘ list in my head of people I don’t like, that I believe have somehow wronged me in life and deserve to somehow get revenge from me

I commit myself to stop creating secret lists of people I like and don’t like and to stop locking me and them in labels / definitions, and simply work and clear the reactions I experience towards them all, so I stand equal and one with each and every single on of them without movement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even think and believe revenge is an acceptable form of getting back at someone, instead of realizing the best form of revenge is actually changing myself in a way that ends spite and nastiness, as being able to stand up and show/share who I am and how I changed for the better to inspire/show those I have placed on my enemies list how to change weaknesses into strengths and live in a best for everyone.

This I believe is the best form of revenge — is actually taking the insecurities, the regrets, and using them to live, to grow, to change and to become a better, more mature individual that can stand in integrity for oneself and all. No more do I allow myself to give into revenge or the desire for revenge since this form only perpetuates separation, conflict and destruction within oneself and one’s world.

I commit myself to stop justifying revenge as the best way to get back at someone since I realize it only perpetuates competition, separation, war, conflict, and destruction

I commit myself to change me into a better person, one who doesn’t want to seek revenge on others but instead uses situations/mishaps as points of learning, understanding, growing and expanding myself

I commit myself to start practicing being an individual who lives with integrity – clear of any form of hate or revenge for others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel quite distraught and angry thinking my enemy won – she got what she wanted – the project I created, and thus  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel really turbulent of emotional pain towards having lost something I created and built and wanted for myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that what I had created and built and had given away to someone else to be responsible for was made by and through me within the small little decisions of giving my power, my authority away to someone/something I saw/believe was better than me at handling the project, instead of standing and working equal with them and creating a better relationship of trust and communication with them. So I realize the reason why I left and gave the project to my business partner is because I did not feel worthy or good enough of handling it, due to personal insecurities and not knowing how to build an effective business relationship with them

I commit myself to – whenever I started a project, to clarify for myself what I want, to make sure I am clear in what I am going to do and the obstacles I may encounter from it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to my business partner because they were — according to my beliefs – liked by everyone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to my business partner in seeing them as better than me through the idea they are more free-flowing and sociable than me, and thus more liked

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that free-flowing, sociable people are the most likable people instead of realizing this is an idea I formed in my mind due to me being attracted to people who are of such nature – that I personally like people who are free flowing and sociable/who communicate a lot. I realize these are words I would like to live for myself, since I am most attracted to them

When and as I see myself feel inferior to another, I stop and I breathe. I realize they are representing something to me I do not feel I am yet, and thus I commit myself to USE what I see in them as words to redefine, live, build and express within me

I commit myself to redefine and live the words free-flowing and sociable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project blame onto my partner for the audacity to start projects without my confirmation/approval, instead of realizing I had also done things without their approval, and this is because we had never started/made an agreement on how to decide/approve on projects and work together as equals, because I had never decided who I am with this project and what I want to do with it – my partner was more clear with what they wanted to do with it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to start a business agreement/contract with my business partner highlighting exactly what our roles/responsibilities are and that we must talk with each other before approving new decisions – that it is imperative we create a strong communicative relationship of constant support in order to move forward

I commit myself to when I start a project, to be clear in exactly what I plan to do with it and where I would like to take it and if people involve, who should they be and what kind of relationship must I create with them in principle of what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry within the thought that  I lost my project to my business partner because I believe they are going to make a lot of money with the project – more money than me. I realize I had seen this project as potential to make a lot of profit and so felt protective in wanting it all – money, fame, recognition, all to myself and thus did not want to share with anyone, instead of letting that desire go in realizing as the project grew, a team needed to be built, thus sharing of responsibilities and being open to other’s suggestions, ideas and perspectives should be welcomed.

I commit myself to redefine, live and express the word SHARE

I commit myself to redefine my relationship to money where it is no longer based on energy but practicality

I also realize I had not properly received nor educated myself on how to effectively deal with others, whether in business or casual settings. Also it shows I have not developed/created a stable, understanding relationship with me, which is most needed when living and sharing this world with others

I commit myself to build, and develop an effective relationship with me, which will eventually outflow into effective relationships with others

 

Additional Support

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

 

 

 

282. Fulfillment

tim-mossholder-2676Fulfillment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel unfilled and unhappy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe people and environments determine my fulfillment and happiness instead of realizing that by believing in that, I will forever be unhappy/unfilled as external/exterior forces will never be able to give/create the fulfillment and happiness I want / need

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider how happiness and fulfillment is really an ”inside job,” that can only truly be created/manifested in/as self honesty as me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel unhappy and unfilled in moments I perceive to be difficult — such as when people talk to me in ways I perceive as being inconsiderate / mean / unkind – words and ways that I don’t like where I allow it to affect me in a negative internal level

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take in people’s words and actions personally – where if they say something in which I perceive to be mean / inconsiderate I make it personal and attach it to the self-victimization personality where I feel bad about myself and blame my experiences on the other person instead of realizing how people act and speak to me is only a reflection of how they speak/act towards THEMSELVES and thus their words/behaviors cannot affect me unless I allow them to affect me!!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify why I am not happy and why I cannot enjoy myself due to the conditions I work in and people I work with using justification to place blame outside of myself that it’s other people’s faults and the system for my misery instead of realizing I can enjoy me and express me in all conditions. I realize I separated myself way too much to out there – meaning I have placed my focus too much for too long outside of myself – blaming people, the environments and my situation for my unhappiness and unfulfillment, not considering or finding ways to come back in touch with me, and find inner joy and peace within me wherever I am

I commit myself to find fulfillment through the in breath and out breath and the realization I have a choice to decide who I am going to be

I commit myself to forgive, change, move and apply a living word when I see myself blame or feel down about my life/situation/people in my life as I realize I have a choice to – despite hardships – find the joy in little things

I commit myself to STOP thinking/believing/throwing blame on others for making me miserable and bring the point back to me to see where I have shifted out of myself and implement a new word I can enjoy/live in

 

TO BE CONTINUED…

 

 

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

 

281. Affection

jordan-whitt-145327Affection:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect affection to love, and believe if I do not get/receive affection from others, I am not loved. I realized love is only is but a word and real love is in action/deeds towards self and others as what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a state of victimization and pity when I think/believe I have not received much affection from my mom.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to firmly believe I am not loved, by anyone, instead of realizing I have defined love as someone having FEELINGS for you, positive feelings instead of living word as actions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deeply desire to be touched instead of touching myself, deeply in ways only I know I can touch/be touched

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to physically express affection to/for me through self massage of feet, or simply hugging me, to show me, I am here for me, I love me and I show me that love, that ”I am here for me,” through self-hugs and massage (like feet)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel neglected by others in my life through the idea I am neglected because I am not or have not been given enough affection

I firmly believe love to be shown through affection. What is the kind of affection I would like? I would like a real hug of appreciation, of recognition of I am here, a real touch of endearment, feeling whole, nurtured. I realize I can make myself whole, nurture myself … I know I like being touched, so I should touch me more, simply as a point of self-recognition and affection, of ”I am here for you,” no matter what – I am here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a extreme state of neglect, worthlessness and lifeless towards the idea/belief I was never given affection by my mother instead of realizing how this is is manipulative and I do not know for sure if my mom has never given me affection through all her moments with me – thus I stop giving into the self-pity/self-victimization as I realize the times/moments with my mom is gone – as I am separate from her physically and I can only nurture and support me with/from affection as physical expression of touch to show me that I am here for me – that I love me – that I am ok

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss my parents and wish my parents to hug me and give me affection/touch as expressions of care, that they are here for me instead of standing as my own rock, the parents I want to be and hug me/embrace me

I commit myself to hug me as a way to show and indicate to myself that I am here for me through thick and thin – what I go through, I am here and will be there/”here” for me, even if I am alone, I have me and can hug me as I please and need.

I commit myself to – when I feel the need to be nurtured or to feel like I need something/someone when I am feeling low/alone, to hug me or touch me/massage me as indication that I am here for me, and will support/guide me as necessary to do what I need to do in this day/moment

Living Word – Redefinition of Affection: A physical touching/holding/hugging of (self’s) body as an act of appreciation/hereness/support for self – as a physical reminder to self is here for self, through thick and thin, and will support/guide self as necessary until self is complete/whole

 

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships