To Heal Mother Earth We Must Heal Ourselves – 334

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I signed up to check out an online womanhood circle session and one of the activities that went on in the circle was singing to Mother Earth. Honoring her presence, the gifts of water and food she provides to us, etc. The songs were really moving and beautiful, but I could definitely see a disconnect when it comes to the actual protecting and ‘saving’ of the Earth.

While the music, the feel, and presence of singing and honoring to Mother Earth was beautiful and deeply touching for me, I could see that to truly heal the world, we must heal ourselves first. On a realistic level, this means being kind to oneself in every moment of breath to the point where your kindness lives as a real expression and it extends to every person and being that impacts them, which will then resonate within the Earth and eventual healing will take place on the planet because then it won’t be all songs and separation we live in for the Earth, but we are doing our part by actually living as an example of kindness, of self-healing, of responsibility by not accepting and allowing abuse again.

Because the point is abuse. We have incredible tribes and communities working towards healing the Earth in their own way, but how the REAL change for a better world comes from within. I see that we on an individual level must ‘clean up’ and heal up and also live realistically, actually truly care and love ourselves and really eliminate harm from within. From living that, ideally, and hopefully – other individuals will also live that within, and because humankind will change, the Earth will change.

So while I find singing and honoring the Earth a beautiful thing, we need to take it a step further and actually start honoring ourselves – because that is where the real stuff happens and starts to really ripple in this world.

What I have been working on personally is not allowing emotional abuse to exist both within me and without. Within, with not allowing my thoughts to manipulate me into emotions (easier said than done lol), and on the without, not participating with people, conversations, etc that are harmful – or the very least, try to direct myself within it to the best of my ability.

 

Additional Resources:

Destonians– Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Care for the Little Things and Impact on the Future – 332

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I was putting away some seasonal/holiday decorations and I looked at a point of irritation that I experienced towards putting away each piece in its box.

There were some lights that required to be untangled then wrapped, and cups that needed to be wrapped, plus little things. Each item required time and care to be put away.

I saw a desire to just ignore the process and put the items in the box, with the tangled lights and unwrapped cups, etc. I use to do this, because I didn’t have the patience to take the time and learn how to properly put each piece of away. I just ”winged it.” I did what I thought was fine.

Yet, what would happen the next year when I take out the decor is that I would be disappointed to see dust accumulated on the items and needed to be clean, or there were cracks or broken pieces because I didn’t put away the items well.

Considering that I now have awareness of what I didn’t like from the past when it came to uncared-for seasonal decorations, I decided to step up the care and actually do my part by taking the time to wrap and place each item accordingly and make sure they are stored well in the box to prevent getting broken or cracked.

From this, I looked at how I am helping my future self by doing my part in making sure each holiday/seasonal item is wrapped and stored properly, so when the time comes for me to re-decorate, I am pleased with how I stored it last year, and most likely less damage has been done. And I repeat the pattern – I help myself for the present and future, by taking good care of the items and storing them properly for the next year too.

My general message is that in the moment we may react in anger, irritation, or frustration over taking care of items and having to store them a certain way for the year. But if you put them away carelessly because of you are in reaction, you are actually sabotaging yourself, and the quality of the items. Plus you are in a way, fueling a cycle of sabotage and carelessness, and when you meet your actions in the future, you will see what you did and most likely be disappointed/unsatisfied. Then, you have choice to repeat the pattern, or change it.

For me, I am now changing how I take care and store my seasonal/holiday items, because I don’t like the consequence of every year, picking up the box, seeing the dust and broken/carelessly left items, and having to actually take more time to clean/repair them, or even replace them by buying. Instead, I want to be satisfied with my work/actions, so I’m making the effort to care for what I do.

 

Additional Resources:

Destonians– Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Fear of Ruffling People’s Feathers – 331

andrea-sonda--2Kca_ipKc8-unsplashI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear starting conflict and ruffling feathers by my story to people who may react. I realize I want to share my story to inform and give as preventative measure (so people can learn) because I feel it is necessary.

I commit myself to realize that I may ruffle feathers and trigger people for speaking my truth or a truth that needs to be shown/revealed and that I should share it regardless especially if I know deep within me I must do it because if I don’t, I will compromise myself and feel it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that sometimes feathers need to be ruffled for people to realize what happened and how their actions affected me, so that these actions can be brought to light and stopped, as long as I also admit my point of responsibility, especially if I participated and allowed the harmful outcome to happen.

I commit myself to realize that if something was truly in violation of me, my beliefs, and was in a way I know the other person wouldn’t like if it was done unto them, that I most certainty can speak up about it as long as I am stable and objective within it. I realize doing so will bring awareness to behaviors that harm both myself and the other and thus it can be harder for the behaviors to continue once they are out in the open.

I realize even bringing harmful behaviors out in the open/in the light does not guarantee people will change from them, but that it’s worth a shot instead of being quiet about it and possibly letting people run away from it. I also realize I can use the harmful behaviors I have seen and been involved and share it through this blog to bring more awareness of what is existent in this world and the practical solutions for it, so we can correct/change.

 

Additional Resources:

Destonians– Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Awakening My Resistance About Giving Back to the Earth – 330

nikola-jovanovic-OBok3F8buKY-unsplashMy partner and I are becoming more aware and considerate of recycling. We now have specific bags/bins in our kitchen and try to place the right item in the correct bin when we are finished with the product.

Today I decided to do the next part of recycling and dump the metal items in the recycling bin outside our apartment. It was a task I dreaded because it specifically requires putting one item (ie: soda can, etc) at a time in the bin. These bins are locked, so I cannot open it and dump all the items at once. This means the process is time consuming. Patience and perseverance for something so small is required.

I tried stuffing two or more metal cans at a time through the small bin opening but not all of them could fit. I could feel I was becoming impatient and really resistant of the process.

I then looked at how something seemingly so small and simple was giving me the hardest time, emotionally. I realized what I was doing was actually a responsibility I must do for the Earth – a giving back to the Earth – because what I consumed (ie: soda can) was something the planet provided for me. The LEAST I can do is give back by recycling and placing the consumed items back – as a point of care, consideration and gratefulness – into the bin.

And I was also looking at if I were to have a child, that I would need to teach the child the importance of giving back to the Earth, and doing something so small like putting the items in the correct recycled bins every month – just as a small duty to the Earth – is necessary.

Yet, for some reason, I resisted and dreaded the task so much because my mind/self wanted to do something else. The repetitive, ”boring” motion of putting each recycled item through the bin hole conflicted with what my mind/self wanted to do – which was to go home and look through my emails and get work done.

But something so physical, practical and NEEDED for the Earth was causing great distress in me. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Why am I programmed to want to be in front of my computer more than being outside, giving back to the Earth by doing something as small as recycling cans?

This situation really opened my eyes to how much we are living in reverse – how we resist and dread really important things needed to give back to the Earth – the planet who gives so much to us. What an awakening it has been for me!

Much credit goes to The Portal and chats on Destonians.com for exposing how much we are neglecting planet Earth, and providing solutions on how to care, for Real.

 

Additional Resources:

Destonians– Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

How the Coronavirus Made Me More Aware – 329

toa-heftiba-UwB9VI4Rs2A-unsplashThe Coronavirus, I have found, is effecting each and every person’s life. It has spread and and is influencing every aspect of our system and survival – schools, grocery stores, hospitals, etc.

The Coronavirus has influenced me to up my awareness regarding how I take care of myself and my environment. Plus, the chats on Destonian.com chats have been especially helpful because they explain the origin of the virus and how to manage it.

What I can share is that the Coronavirus has influenced me to:

  • Stay more in the present moment, especially when out in public. Being aware of what my hands are doing, and what the people around me are doing. The virus has really upped my game of being aware to what is surrounding me.
  • Realize that everyone is seeing each other as ”threats” – even those closest to us. That we have to be even more aware if our loved ones are displaying symptoms, and to be aware of not kissing or touching so much in public.
  • At my work we stopped shaking hands for business meetings, and my level of alertness gets peaked when I hear someone cough or sneeze by me.
  • My partner and I do a ”disinfection round” whenever we come home, cleaning our hands, phones, keys and anything else we don’t want to bring in our home. This disinfection round made me realize how much I have been neglecting cleaning my items until now.
  • I am more aware of touching my face, and biting my nails. I am deliberately trying to stop doing this. It is super hard because it’s such a habit, so I told my partner to whack my hand when he sees me doing those things (lol).
  • Helped me become more thorough washing my hands, and I discovered I actually enjoy the long, careful process the washing of my hands. It’s a cool connection back to me and the taking care of my body.
  • That we are never safe and prepared enough. That the day the Cornavirus case was announced in my city, all the stores immediately were out of disinfectant and cleaning products. Even on Amazon and online stores sold out products or tripled their prices. It was like living in the apocolypse and the need to survive and doing whatever it takes to survive reared its head. I was so upset I couldn’t find anything that I retreated to creating DIY products. I was relieved I was able to make my own hand sanitizer and disinfectant spay with the ingredients I had. I showed myself I will do what I can to survive lol, yet it also exposed a paranoia personality inside of me.

Bernard use to say that no one was safe. I did not know what he meant when I heard it. I thought he meant physically-wise, like we could get into a car accident or a meteor could hit my home anytime (lol). But with the Coronavirus having such a major impact on everyone, now I get it. I am not safe – I could get this virus. All I can do is breathe, stay calm, become more alert of myself and everyone, wash my hands and do what I can to take preventative measures.

 

Additional Resources:

Destonians– Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Overwhelmingness is a Bitch but Can Be Directed – 327

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Photo by Steve Johnson on Pexels.com

Overwhelmingness. A sneaky little bitch that can suck you in without you even being aware about it!

That is what has been happening to me, over the last couple of months. I knew in a way,  I was in it, but I allowed other factors and points in my life to take precedence over sorting this little bugger out.

It started a month ago when I noticed I started to slack in my sharings and posts here on this blog. Making an effort to post as consistently as I can while updating and making my presence known in the Desteni community is important to me.

But I started to allow excuses to come up, seemingly little ones, and on top of that, an energy, which has been illustrated well in the Overwhelming recordings on EQAFE, started to take over, like a waterfall of what I describe an over flood of emotions where I felt helpless and like I can’t do anything. So I would just wait it out, allowing myself to not actively push and do anything about it. Seeing if this approach could work in letting it be, walking with it, not doing anything about it.

But as 2 months have shown, this allowance of having the overwhelming emotion just ‘be’ in me did not do anything constructively for me. In fact, I have been feeling a little ‘dead’ inside, and depressed, and low. Expanding myself, and my personal growth slowed down and felt like I just stopped caring for a while.

Finally, as I have given myself the space to do so, I started to get back in EQAFE, and into the Overwhelmed series, getting back in touch with myself with the interest to start walking my process more. Realizing that this feeling of being overwhelmed is a defense mechanism the mind uses when you are not reacting as much as it wants you to. It makes total sense because my life has become more calmer and in a way, drama-free (yay!) but doesn’t mean it’s not going to be drama-free within, as long as I don’t become absolute director of the mind.

So this is a note to self, to not allow this overwhelmed bugger get the best of me, but utilize the support EQAFE has been showing me to walk this point so I can get back to a more steady, consistent walk in my process of self-awareness, self-transformation and self-growth.

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone on Holiday – 324

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My partner and I are vacationing in a small town in Greece. It’s really interesting to observe and be present with reactions when entering a new place/country.

For me especially, at the beginning of my holiday, I was in a constant state of dissatisfaction and criticism. I could feel the reactions towards the accommodation, and location creep up in me, and instead of suppressing, I allowed them to come up. Just be with them. I knew these were comfort zones being challenged, and that being here was actually a good/supportive thing. There were a lot of realities present that I wasn’t prepared for when coming to Greece, but were necessary to experience: poor plumbing, power outages, having to walk up and down hills to get to the market or places (if you don’t have a car), having to buy water bottles because tap water is unsafe, having to see stray cats who aren’t neutered, with their babies, and are thin/hungry.

In a way, this experience has been extremely humbling for me. I realize I need these reality checks every now and then because I can get so caught up in my life in Austria and its comforts, I take advantage of that. I sometimes forget about how life is for other people and animals around the world.

Being here in Greece has put my survival into perspective. I have to think about if I have enough water bottles, whether I should go out at certain times of the day because it’s so hot, be careful with cooking and handling local water. Also, I have to be more in tune with myself and my surroundings because there are wild plants, bugs, and animals to be aware of.

This sort of ”wildness” as I can describe is very good for me to experience, to get back to life/reality and see how things really are in this world. Getting out of my comfort zone on holiday is cool.

While some things are harder here in Greece, compared to where I live in Austria, the people are exceptionally warm, open and friendly with you, as a stranger. It’s really nice and different than what I face in Austria. Plus, there is natural beauty all around, from the cypress and palm trees, mountains, the sea/beaches, and the interesting birds and wildlife.

I find it really healthy for oneself to go off to a foreign place from time to time and really get involved, dive in deep with how things are, and live life like the locals. It will certainly challenge your comfort zones and bring new perspectives on how to live and enjoy life.

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

Eradicating the Worst of Me – 323

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated when I see my former competitors still make success and money for themselves, as I secretly fear that they have or will be taking my place in terms of the area we both have competed in. I realize I have secretly competed against them to make sure I was at the top. Now since I have stopped playing that game, the drive to crush/replace/destroy needs to be corrected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to crush, destroy, and annihilate my competitors so that I am on the only one in my field/on top and thus no threat is upon me, where I can breathe and just be me. I realize only in an Equal Money System could I truly rest and be at peace with my financial situation, and me, as my needs would be taken care of financially forever/my whole life, and thus there would be no fear of someone threatening to upstage me as my survival would already beset by an external force supporting me. And that I could just be me and whoever and however I express myself, I still have a secured survival.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take the anger, the righteous, and seemingly ‘power’ I experience in wanting to crush/destroy/annihilate my competitors and use that to create a better life for myself, and everyone involved by actually working on my mind in eradicating/destroying the worst of me that I see/hate in others and this world.

I commit myself to take the hatred, anger, righteousness, and feeling of power I have towards people and things in my world and turn it towards myself in eradicating/deleting/getting rid of the worst shit within me.

I commit myself to realize an Equal Money System can get started by me no longer serving the ‘survival of the fittest’ mindset of wanting to crush my competitors and instead strive to live for a better world where all are taken care of, financially for their well-being and just existing in this life.

I commit myself to explore what living for/as an Equal Money System truly is, and how to practically live that type of existence by eradicating the old programming/ways of myself and former generations that are evil/corrupt/screwed up.

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

Being Responsible for Others: Working with Interns – 322

working with interns emotional support

I had the privilege of being a supervisor for a pair of interns this summer, for an organization I volunteer at. While some people may groan and fuss about having to watch a couple of college students all summer, I found it exceptionally rewarding.

Mostly because they were fresh faces with fresh perspectives on things in life. It was really great to get to know them as individuals and see where their strengths and talents lie.

For example, our first meeting we simply got to know each other and our personality types. We talked about our astrological signs, our Enneagram numbers and whether we side more on the introvert or extrovert side. So the first impression was that everyone understood where each person was, self-honestly, and from there I got to determine what type of work I could give them, where they could thrive.

Of course, this was a learning process, as I first started to give the male intern work on graphic design because he was more of the art type who had a love of the finer things in life. However, I saw that I was excluding the opportunity for the female intern to take on the job too, so I then decided to assign her some tasks with graphic design. I knew she and I discussed beforehand that she never really worked with graphics, but lo and behold, after much tinkering around, she designed some pretty amazing things and I think became proud of herself.

Eventually though as shit started to hit the fan between me and my co-founder in regards to finances and drama at the location we were at, I started to see our unit as a family. A family that needs to stay strong and stable amidst the turmoil going on. I soon started to see the interns as children. Where my co-founder and I were like the parents and that the emotions and shit we were experiencing towards things happening on the outside, could seep into our relationship with the interns.

Eventually, it got to the point where I had to became the sole ‘parent’ or person who had to keep everything together and became entirely responsible for the ‘kids’/interns. It was no fun and I still have to deal with reactions with this point, but I could really see the intrinsic responsibility that comes forth when you allow people to work with you and walk with you in your life, that you see every day. That they (the interns) started to pick up on subtleties and changes going on between me and my co-founder and started to ask about it.

I then took the liberty of being honest and direct with what was going on behind the scenes, in a way that didn’t reveal everything but enough for them to understand the stuff that can happen in an organization. And from this, I also realized the importance of the co-founders needing to stick together, but also the truth that: running a business or organization with a friend may not be the best idea. It certainly is not working for me.

I also realized for myself, after many mistakes, that I am best to do projects alone, by myself, being my own boss and CEO. This has inspired me to take on a new venture/project that is currently in the making, that is more aligned to me. Where no one is boss except me.

So, to sum this all up – when you take responsibility for a set of interns, my suggestion is to realize you are responsible for them in a way, similar to a parent, in that they do look up to you for guidance and instruction. They still have a lot of learning in life (as we all do), but since you are the supervisor, you need to consider who you are, your actions, and how you handle things – especially when shit hits the fan. Would you like the interns to take on these characteristics you’ve been displaying and have them apply it later in their life? Because that’s how supervisors are supposed to act?

For example, when shit hits the fan are you going to freak out in front of everyone or are you going to sit down and start brainstorming for solutions? This is what I had to do because I had no choice. I could not show the interns that being and feeling defeated in the face of the system and giving up on the organization is the way to go. You have to keep moving on until you tested all options and see that it is best in the end. Overall it’s important that you show your interns, or whoever is with you, to not give up. Even if that means you have to take on a load for a while until things settle down.

I could not have come to such stability and drive for solutions if it were not for the Desteni tools and community. I truly believe walking my process with them made me become a more pragmatic, practical, less emotional, and commonsensical person.

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

Make or Break Relationship Patterns – 321

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Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become afraid of people, especially dear friends of mine, who won’t like me anymore due to me making mistakes that affect them negatively, over and over. I realize I am thinking of 2 examples in which I have possibly upset my friend that I have not forgiven myself for nor corrected that I am afraid will make or break our relationship. I realize I tend to go into ‘make or break our relationship’ with other women due to how I was brought up, where my mother would show signs of neglect and abandonment if she didn’t like how I was acting or being. Also, my sister would hold grudges if I did things she didn’t like. So I realize the pattern I fear exists within me and my upbringing.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the consequences of living out ‘make it or break the relationship’ by having secret, hidden standards against someone, particular every woman in my life, instead of realizing how I actually fear women doing that towards me, towards the mistakes I make that affect them, because that is how my mother has acted upon me and I hated it. I realize I can choose to be someone else, who does not act upon ‘make it or break it relationship’ standard, after a few attempts that have disturbed me from someone, instead of questioning how can I give this person another chance, putting myself in their shoes, to see what I and we can learn together as a point of forgiveness, and how we can continue our relationship together (though I realize the case of severe abuse one should leave the relationship but that doesn’t apply to me)

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see how I fear my friend already turning her back against me because I have made a mistake that affected her and others, similar to how I have felt when I have done something consequential towards my mother. I realize in both those situations I was NOT FULLY AWARE of the consequences of my actions that have contributed to harming or affecting my mother/friend, because I was wrapped up in energy at the time. I realize my point of responsibility was that I was overcome by emotion (fear) and acted within and upon that, and so, by identifying who I was within the energy before I acted upon it and affected others, I can correct myself for next time.

Self-Commitment Statements:

I commit myself to not take on the behavior of my mother who will abandon and/or neglect a woman just because she does something, my mother, judges as bad and unforgivable.

I commit myself to live the correction of seeing where I can continue a relationship with a woman, despite her acting or walking actions I deem as unacceptable, because perhaps that person may need assistance and support of understanding and walking out of that very point (and also because I like being friends with everyone, and don’t want to ever have a grudge or be in a poor stand with someone unless it’s best for all)

I commit myself to live and apply the word CHANCE when I encounter a situation where either I or another woman has made a mistake that has affected us negatively, to see how I can perhaps regain trust, and give understanding, and prove correction to both myself and another after I’ve made the mistake

I commit myself to seek understanding, compassion, and space of forgiveness to correct myself from my mistakes, that have affected me and others, as I realize true correction must come from a space of healing, compassion, understanding and the will to live the correction.

I commit myself to give myself the healing space and opportunity to identify what emotions/energy I go into that influence me to act in ways that become consequential to everyone (such as me going into the boss mode, bossing people around when I am in fear)

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation