I identified a pattern/program where I go into fear and insecurity when a new task/assignment/project is given that I am not confident in and do not yet have experience on. I will go into those emotional experiences, and I suppress that because that shows a WEAKNESS of mine. Usually I would suppress these experiences because they reveal a weakness/something I don’t know or am not confident in, and from this I will normally then judge them or react in fear to the experiences showing my weakness. So it’s a program …
Wikipedia: A (computer) program is a collection of instructions that performs a specific task when executed by a computer.
So I have a collection of instructions that I as a being have accepted and allowed in me to act on when something happens, such as in this case – when I access a point of a weakness, something I am not confident in – I typically go into this program of reacting in fear or anger or judgement or worry towards the weakness – it’s a shield to protect me from understanding and seeing more into the weakness in general and instead of doing something about it, learning from the weakness and improving me as the weakness, I follow the program of reacting and suppressing and not doing anything about it
I know if I face it I face the fact that I don’t know something, I am weak in something, I need help in something, I am vulnerable in something, and that is something that is not ‘good’ in the ‘survival of the fittest’ system – for others and even me to see a weakness/vulnerability point.
The best solution I see within this is to actually acknowledge and see the weakness for what it is, understand it and then find a way to strengthen it.
Self-Forgiveness & Corrective Statements:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react negatively when I see a weakness or point I am not confident in, instead of dropping the emotion and instead working within understanding/translating it from my mind and finding a solution to learn and grow from it
I commit myself to when and as I see me react towards a weakness I see in my mind, to stop, breathe and forgive the specific emotion and find a way to learn and grow from it, because I realize the emotion/reaction is like a shield that protects the access to really understanding the weakness/problem in fact, because if I can understand it, I can change it
I believe I have taken on a similar program from my dad, where when I feel like my weaknesses may be exposed, I will protect it by reacting, to shield me from seeing more into the weakness or secret, even. What I realize is that this is typical response we all have built in us because in the world, any form of weakness could be used against us, and could threaten our survival, which means we somehow have created it this way in ourselves, where we use our weaknesses against ourselves – instead of nurturing and supporting ourselves to strengthen our weaknesses. This means we/I need to start opening up these weaknesses in a space of support, that no matter what I see and reveal to me, I will find a way, a solution to assist and support me to understand and walk through this weakness and act/live a solution that I can build/grow/develop from the weakness, so eventually the weakness becomes a strength.
I commit myself to create the safe space within me I always wanted – where when I face a weakness I acknowledge it and use the bridge word LEARN to move me to support me to learn from the weakness and find a solution to strengthen it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react strongly when I feel like my vulnerability and my weaknesses are being ”threatened” – meaning, they may be exposed or be revealed to someone because I am so afraid of what or how another may see me now. I see, realize and understand that I am afraid of being judged or seen as weak if/when my weaknesses are revealed and have them be used against me or the weakness/es are used to place a label and be seen as something/someone due to this weakness.
I commit myself to stop defining people according to their weaknesses, and/or using their weaknesses and problems as justifications towards why they are the way they are since weaknesses doesn’t define a being in their entirety
I commit myself to stop defining me and judging me according to my weaknesses and instead use every single weakness point of mine as an opportunity for me to get to know myself better, learn and grow from it
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect having a weakness to it being a ‘problem’ and from it being a ‘problem’ react in fear towards it, by thinking ‘I can’t have a problem’ because then that shows to me something I need to work on and CHANGE in me
I commit myself to EMBRACE the problems I have and see them as gifts that give me insight into what I need to understand more, learn more from and develop into a strength – and move me to do so
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear change and fear understanding and learning more about my weaknesses because I know and realize on a deep level these weaknesses also reveal a point of self-honesty and other not-so-pretty parts of me that need to change. I realize I will face my self-honesty as some point in my life/existence, and best to face it here while I’m here and alive. I can always learn, grow and develop from a weakness – it doesn’t have to stay a weakness – it can always be strengthened and changed, therefore –
I commit myself to work on every one of my weaknesses, to open them up, understand them, see where I fall, see what I need to develop, learn and grow from so I stop reacting and instead live free from reactions
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