From Jealousy to Practical Living – 325

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I was watching a TV show a month ago, and there appeared a woman who was a yoga teacher, smiling and expressing herself. Immediately within me, I was jealous of her. Here she was bubbly, friendly-looking, while also exuding a calm and laid-back attitude. The point that she was a yoga teacher and the exercise supported her to be such a way was something I truly desired and wanted to be/do.

I had let go of daily yoga practice quite a while ago to allow work to get in the way of my self-care and wellbeing. Because of this, I noticed a dip in my mood as well as weight gain and overall feeling unwell in myself and my process. I dropped something that truly benefited me in exchange for an addiction to work.

The TV show and person, triggered me to look at a potential I was not accessing and using to my advantage. The potential that – I can get back to daily, or weekly yoga practice because that particular movement/exercise has been most nourishing for me, and my life, time and time again.

I remember specifically before I saw the show, I had a chat with my DIP buddy discussing jealousy and what that means, as well as reading Anna’s Instagram post on using jealousy as a means to do what you see in another.

So from this support combined I took action and decided to start my yoga practice again –  just doing a practice I’m comfortable with and can handle, which was at the start, a 15-minute morning yoga exercise. Then gradually it became a 40-minute practice.

Day to day I take it slow and easy on myself, doing yoga in the mornings, as it was the best and most convenient time for me. I would check in with the YouTube videos to see which one I was interested in doing that day, depending on how I’m doing and how much energy I have.

But I really make sure to do yoga consistently now, because I know how nourishing and supportive it is for me. If I miss a day or even week of doing yoga I know I will always try to it when I can. I know that if there comes a time when I do slip, in not honoring a consistent yoga practice, then I will eventually get back to it.

Thanks, universe for bringing this point forward in me! 🙂

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

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Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone on Holiday – 324

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My partner and I are vacationing in a small town in Greece. It’s really interesting to observe and be present with reactions when entering a new place/country.

For me especially, at the beginning of my holiday, I was in a constant state of dissatisfaction and criticism. I could feel the reactions towards the accommodation, and location creep up in me, and instead of suppressing, I allowed them to come up. Just be with them. I knew these were comfort zones being challenged, and that being here was actually a good/supportive thing. There were a lot of realities present that I wasn’t prepared for when coming to Greece, but were necessary to experience: poor plumbing, power outages, having to walk up and down hills to get to the market or places (if you don’t have a car), having to buy water bottles because tap water is unsafe, having to see stray cats who aren’t neutered, with their babies, and are thin/hungry.

In a way, this experience has been extremely humbling for me. I realize I need these reality checks every now and then because I can get so caught up in my life in Austria and its comforts, I take advantage of that. I sometimes forget about how life is for other people and animals around the world.

Being here in Greece has put my survival into perspective. I have to think about if I have enough water bottles, whether I should go out at certain times of the day because it’s so hot, be careful with cooking and handling local water. Also, I have to be more in tune with myself and my surroundings because there are wild plants, bugs, and animals to be aware of.

This sort of ”wildness” as I can describe is very good for me to experience, to get back to life/reality and see how things really are in this world. Getting out of my comfort zone on holiday is cool.

While some things are harder here in Greece, compared to where I live in Austria, the people are exceptionally warm, open and friendly with you, as a stranger. It’s really nice and different than what I face in Austria. Plus, there is natural beauty all around, from the cypress and palm trees, mountains, the sea/beaches, and the interesting birds and wildlife.

I find it really healthy for oneself to go off to a foreign place from time to time and really get involved, dive in deep with how things are, and live life like the locals. It will certainly challenge your comfort zones and bring new perspectives on how to live and enjoy life.

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

Being Responsible for Others: Working with Interns – 322

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I had the privilege of being a supervisor for a pair of interns this summer, for an organization I volunteer at. While some people may groan and fuss about having to watch a couple of college students all summer, I found it exceptionally rewarding.

Mostly because they were fresh faces with fresh perspectives on things in life. It was really great to get to know them as individuals and see where their strengths and talents lie.

For example, our first meeting we simply got to know each other and our personality types. We talked about our astrological signs, our Enneagram numbers and whether we side more on the introvert or extrovert side. So the first impression was that everyone understood where each person was, self-honestly, and from there I got to determine what type of work I could give them, where they could thrive.

Of course, this was a learning process, as I first started to give the male intern work on graphic design because he was more of the art type who had a love of the finer things in life. However, I saw that I was excluding the opportunity for the female intern to take on the job too, so I then decided to assign her some tasks with graphic design. I knew she and I discussed beforehand that she never really worked with graphics, but lo and behold, after much tinkering around, she designed some pretty amazing things and I think became proud of herself.

Eventually though as shit started to hit the fan between me and my co-founder in regards to finances and drama at the location we were at, I started to see our unit as a family. A family that needs to stay strong and stable amidst the turmoil going on. I soon started to see the interns as children. Where my co-founder and I were like the parents and that the emotions and shit we were experiencing towards things happening on the outside, could seep into our relationship with the interns.

Eventually, it got to the point where I had to became the sole ‘parent’ or person who had to keep everything together and became entirely responsible for the ‘kids’/interns. It was no fun and I still have to deal with reactions with this point, but I could really see the intrinsic responsibility that comes forth when you allow people to work with you and walk with you in your life, that you see every day. That they (the interns) started to pick up on subtleties and changes going on between me and my co-founder and started to ask about it.

I then took the liberty of being honest and direct with what was going on behind the scenes, in a way that didn’t reveal everything but enough for them to understand the stuff that can happen in an organization. And from this, I also realized the importance of the co-founders needing to stick together, but also the truth that: running a business or organization with a friend may not be the best idea. It certainly is not working for me.

I also realized for myself, after many mistakes, that I am best to do projects alone, by myself, being my own boss and CEO. This has inspired me to take on a new venture/project that is currently in the making, that is more aligned to me. Where no one is boss except me.

So, to sum this all up – when you take responsibility for a set of interns, my suggestion is to realize you are responsible for them in a way, similar to a parent, in that they do look up to you for guidance and instruction. They still have a lot of learning in life (as we all do), but since you are the supervisor, you need to consider who you are, your actions, and how you handle things – especially when shit hits the fan. Would you like the interns to take on these characteristics you’ve been displaying and have them apply it later in their life? Because that’s how supervisors are supposed to act?

For example, when shit hits the fan are you going to freak out in front of everyone or are you going to sit down and start brainstorming for solutions? This is what I had to do because I had no choice. I could not show the interns that being and feeling defeated in the face of the system and giving up on the organization is the way to go. You have to keep moving on until you tested all options and see that it is best in the end. Overall it’s important that you show your interns, or whoever is with you, to not give up. Even if that means you have to take on a load for a while until things settle down.

I could not have come to such stability and drive for solutions if it were not for the Desteni tools and community. I truly believe walking my process with them made me become a more pragmatic, practical, less emotional, and commonsensical person.

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

When Your Plan to Turn a Competitor into a Friendship Doesn’t Work Out – 317

Yesterday I had a meeting with someone who I had difficulty with within the journalism world for some time. She and I have been the major competitors of each other, and I thought it was about time I sit down with her, to get to know her and learn more about who she is and her intentions. This is because I wanted to finally be clear of some assumptions I had of her, and thought we could create a potential friendship and ultimately be cool with each other.

I made sure before I did meet her to clear myself as much as possible with Self-Forgiveness and direction, but still was nervous and apprehensive about our meeting.

Generally, the meeting was fine. I got to learn more about her intentions which have to do with survival and providing her own source of income through her work. This made sense to me as to why she is very competitive and seems to have issue with me as her other competitor. The problem was, was that I expected us to be cool and friends at the end, but it didn’t turn out as so – the ending was brief and superficial, and it left me nauseous. Knowing that despite our meeting and me trying to show and share more about myself so I can open the door for her to see the kind of relationship I’d like to create for us didn’t work. I realized that I can’t change someone, no matter what I do or how much I may work on myself, or open the door to my heart – that person has to make the decision to change and allow me into their lives.

My disappointment came from the fact that I expected us to be friends and cool at the end, as I mentioned before, because that’s what happened to my friend and I wanted that. But it seemed like on her end it wasn’t possible. It’s quite sad that two women, who yes, use to or are currently competitors, can’t put things down to rest and create a relationship that supports one another. I know I must honor their process and their decisions, but it does suck.

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate women not wanting to be friends with me, as it shows me that I must let go of control and the desire / want for people to like me and want to be cool / friends with me. I see, realize and understand I have a problem with conflict, and people genuinely not liking me or having issues with me, because somehow somewhere to me that means something is wrong with me. I also realize I have the false idea that everyone should like me, and that if they don’t, something is wrong with me, as I should automatically be liked by everyone. I realize that is a survival mechanism I picked up from my mother, who strives to be liked and will ”bend her own back” to please and like, even if it’s borderline abusive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear upon realizing that even despite sharing and showing myself, my heart, that another won’t forgive me or accept me or want to lay things to rest / water under the bridge, that the person still holds onto a grudge or suspicion about me, which I now realize and understand is normal, in that with getting to understand their intentions, survival and financial security is most important and I have been made a threat to them in their minds, thus only they can work that point out themselves, despite my attempts showing I would rather create a friendship/partnership.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become sad and allow the sadness to influence me and my expression, because I am not certain how to direct reality of a woman-friendship born out of suspicion, threat and fear is still prevalent in another and thus cannot be changed, and thus I cannot get my desired, or potential outcome of being cool / at peace with someone.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to make peace with the fact that we will both remain separate and not friends, and thus natural competitors in the world system, and that I am and have been redefining my form of competition into something healthy, and that is something I must walk alone. That I must find a way to be ok with failing in my attempts of not being friends with a competitor from the world system. I also realize it is up to them to be cool / friends with me, after I attempted so, and can only leave the door open for them from here forward.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel and become sad seeing the potential of women being cool / friends / supporters and not enemies / competitors / vicious with each other is a process I can only walk alone, to establish and create and be in myself, where I then become the living example of a woman with no issues towards anyone else, and that I am able to stand one and equal with every individual without reaction. That I realize I must be the change I wish to see in the world, by literally living it as an example, and being it through living words and actual real-time change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge X as bad for not wanting to be cool or friends with me, as I realize I cannot judge X’s decision, because X’s reasons come from a source of survival, needing security, and perhaps feeling threatened in between it all. I realize there is always a reason why someone does something, and that I have no right nor power to judge their actions and decisions. I can see more of their character, what they exist in, accept and allow, but it doesn’t make them better or less than me on a existential level. I redefine ”bad” as being unacceptable in the face of life within what is best for all, and her walking away from creating a friendship / supporting relationship is not bad, it is a decision that does not harm me and is acceptable in the face of life which is best for all. It shows where she is at in her life and decisions. That’s all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my relationship with someone to another’s relationship, that I ideally wanted, and wanted to create that. I realize that I used the other’s relationship as a goal, but reality showed me where I am with someone instead, which also shows that what I wanted was not possible, and that I cannot compare relationships because each relationship is unique.

I see I crave and desire a female friendship again where we love and accept each other, which can only start from me accepting and loving myself and being fulfilled by that. Not seeking external support or person for that.

Self-Commitment Statements:

I commit myself to practice and find ways / solutions to be at peace with people having issues / problems with me, as having problems with others shows there are problems with oneself towards oneself not resolved, as I realize in the end all must be one and equal and stand in everyone’s shoes without reaction.

I commit myself to let go of the need / want / desire to control myself to get to a future outcome I want, as I realize life is organic, unpredictable, including many factors from people and things.

I commit to honor where a person is in life, and to honor myself / my self-honesty process, and continue to build / walk it.

I commit myself to use the sadness as a means to embrace that which I am not giving myself – my own friendship / companionship, and to stop looking outside for it.

I commit myself to walk my own process of competition, where I discover what is healthy for me, despite people maybe not liking me or finding me a threat. I realize I can’t be friends with everyone, even though I’d like to be, as that is not realistic in this day and age in this world.

I commit myself to purify and see the word ‘’bad’’ as something unacceptable in the face of life that’s best for all, and good which is nurturing within life within what’s best for all.

I commit myself to be ok aiming for a goal in relationships, but to not get too frustrated if it doesn’t work out in a certain timeframe, or if a person genuinely doesn’t want to reach the same goal as you. I realize it’s ok to test things out and see if it’s a possibility, and to be flexible if it doesn’t work out or needs adjusting.

I commit myself to stop looking outside and towards other people to fulfill the needs in me, but find practical ways to fill those needs myself. Like finding a practical way to create companionship with me. What is self-companionship?

 

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

An Overload of Distraction Pleasures the Mind but Not Our Potentials – 314

jed-villejo-647973-unsplashRecently I realized how there is an overwhelming amount of distractions for us. Especially for me and those living in a elite positions where we have access to an unlimited selection of tv shows and movies at one’s disposal – not to mention high speed internet where one can go on and do whatever they want on there.

I’ve been questioning me and my position as an ‘elite’ lately. Meaning, me as someone who can – and does live at times – overly-indulgently. How essentially living and being in such a position is quite a good trap for the world system and consciousness in keeping us preoccupied by indulging constantly in these luxurious.

Like I have access to three tv streaming services, with a plethora of my favorite shows. It is almost too easy to just indulge and forget everything, and I am beginning to look at how these streaming services are designed to keep us elite humans entertained and happy while we forget and lose touch with the real problems going on in the world. There was a specific research article once that said those who are unhappy watch the most TV…

I see that it is us as the collectives fault within all of this. We are becoming a society where everything is given to us so quickly, and almost ‘free’ in a way that we forget what it means to create things with OUR OWN HANDS. Everything we seem to touch is a distraction and a way to divert ourselves and the mind from what we are really going through within.

Additionally –  it dawned on me that if I can’t sleep I’ll watch TV. I figured out it was a way for me to avoid things going on in me. It’s just too easy to try and divert yourself and problems by watching something engaging and entertaining, while the  things within are still not being resolved and will still affect me the coming day – until I do something about it, or I walk into my own consequence.

This is certainly a wake up call for me and I hope other people too when it comes to being more aware of who we are with the amount of entertainment, social media and online distractions we are participating in – as means to feel something other than what we are feeling within. To become more aware of why we are going to our phones, picking up the remote, or watching a movie and see how we can balance that out entertainment with practical work like taking care of the home, and oneself by figuring out how to deal with personal problems.

For me, the era of overly self-indulgence is coming to an end. I know I have a lot of work to do, and I don’t want to continue neglecting things that truly need to be taken care of. Will let you know how it goes! Thanks for reading.

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

Biting the Bullet, Working in the System – 311

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Working in the system and having to be in it is difficult sometimes. I find especially after walking my process for some years and having developed skills of interacting with and seeing people as equals it is still difficult for me to be treated as less than or allow my bosses to project blame/avoid responsibility of their mistakes.

I have to be careful because sometimes I do blurt out or share what I see and I can see it kind of stirs them up. For example – I was able to show my boss how it was everyone’s collective fault on a point (because it was new and we never reached this form of territory) instead of allowing my boss to make it seem as if they were not responsible for it.

I realize as a Destonian and being involved in the Desteni group we do have opportunities and a space to share what we see and point out where we see another is projecting blame onto another. It is one thing to do in the group and another to apply it in the “real world”/system when many people have not yet learned what it means to own their mistakes and faults because of ego or fear of vulnerability.

I feel like as Destonians we really have to figure out how to work in the system and get along in it. For a while I could not understand “Be in the system but not of the system” means. Now I do – for me I define it as being able to with what I learned and applied in my process see where I can assist and direct me and others in the system/in my job that is best for everyone and doesn’t compromise me at the same time.

It is a lot of learning and figuring out which I do enjoy. I am starting to pick up where I went too far and/or what to correct next time in my job. Because I am not the boss and yet serving them, I have to be careful how I interact as to not threaten my position.

Tonight I would honestly not like to go to a work function because I have intense menstrual cramps and honestly don’t want to go but I know that I require to go to keep a good reputation at work. I am sure it would be consequential if I drop out of this event so I push to go tonight.

I know there are some sacrifices to make when it comes to working in the system, but sometimes you have to do things to keep a stable reputation and continue to get money coming in. It sucks but it’s something we have to do now. Just like having to hear your bosses talk shit about other people but you don’t have the authority or stand to direct it in a supportive way because it could harm your rep. It sucks but this also allows me to bring that stand in other projects and ventures I’m involved in where I don’t become a gossiper but can show another way of living/being to others.

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

Self Honesty Extracted through Music – 310

People, travel, holidays and adventure concept. Rear view of young woman with long loose hair walking on city street at sunset wearing hat and coat, enjoying happy pleasant moment of her vacationsToday I was listening to a particular song I really connect to. The lyrics, rhythm and voice of the individual move me. I decided to look at what are the specific words that come from this song and they are: Self Honesty, Real(ness) and Grounded.

As a side note – authenticity and sincerity are words I’ve been exploring within myself for quite some time. I especially resonate and connect with people, projects and things that are more real, honest and raw because to be honest that is refreshing to me. I’m the type of person who likes to just cut to the point, no need to be fake or hide what you need/want and this song Brace by Twin Shadow exudes just that. The singer is real and raw in his lyrics, and to me – self honest. At least this is how I interpreted it and assisted me to redefine self honesty –

Which also coincides with a project from the Desteni community of this week – which is:
+ to share your definition or understanding of the principle of self honesty
+ how do I practically live self honesty in my life
+ what is your process insight with walking this process with self-honesty within and without of self in the Desteni I Process

I have defined Self Honesty as a self-reflection, a talking-to to myself about what I am going through, alone/individually as me.

So it’s not about what I think about others or imagining what others have done or what they may say about me… it’s about how I’m experiencing myself, alone. What is going on IN ME/my mind self in the moment. To be that feedback point of myself as a check in on what I am truly really thinking about and experiencing inside.

How I am practically living it is when I see myself think about other people (ie: what they may be doing or thinking about me) I stop and ask myself what am I doing here, like a talking to myself, and will identify what I am in – like spite or judgement for example. Then the next step is forgiving or looking more into the point to see what is behind it (ie: ah I find this point unforgivable which is why im so spiteful towards this person in my head and what they’ve done…) so then it gives me that opportunity to come clean with the point and see how I can resolve it. 

 

…more to come!

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation