Being Responsible for Others: Working with Interns – 322

working with interns emotional support

I had the privilege of being a supervisor for a pair of interns this summer, for an organization I volunteer at. While some people may groan and fuss about having to watch a couple of college students all summer, I found it exceptionally rewarding.

Mostly because they were fresh faces with fresh perspectives on things in life. It was really great to get to know them as individuals and see where their strengths and talents lie.

For example, our first meeting we simply got to know each other and our personality types. We talked about our astrological signs, our Enneagram numbers and whether we side more on the introvert or extrovert side. So the first impression was that everyone understood where each person was, self-honestly, and from there I got to determine what type of work I could give them, where they could thrive.

Of course, this was a learning process, as I first started to give the male intern work on graphic design because he was more of the art type who had a love of the finer things in life. However, I saw that I was excluding the opportunity for the female intern to take on the job too, so I then decided to assign her some tasks with graphic design. I knew she and I discussed beforehand that she never really worked with graphics, but lo and behold, after much tinkering around, she designed some pretty amazing things and I think became proud of herself.

Eventually though as shit started to hit the fan between me and my co-founder in regards to finances and drama at the location we were at, I started to see our unit as a family. A family that needs to stay strong and stable amidst the turmoil going on. I soon started to see the interns as children. Where my co-founder and I were like the parents and that the emotions and shit we were experiencing towards things happening on the outside, could seep into our relationship with the interns.

Eventually, it got to the point where I had to became the sole ‘parent’ or person who had to keep everything together and became entirely responsible for the ‘kids’/interns. It was no fun and I still have to deal with reactions with this point, but I could really see the intrinsic responsibility that comes forth when you allow people to work with you and walk with you in your life, that you see every day. That they (the interns) started to pick up on subtleties and changes going on between me and my co-founder and started to ask about it.

I then took the liberty of being honest and direct with what was going on behind the scenes, in a way that didn’t reveal everything but enough for them to understand the stuff that can happen in an organization. And from this, I also realized the importance of the co-founders needing to stick together, but also the truth that: running a business or organization with a friend may not be the best idea. It certainly is not working for me.

I also realized for myself, after many mistakes, that I am best to do projects alone, by myself, being my own boss and CEO. This has inspired me to take on a new venture/project that is currently in the making, that is more aligned to me. Where no one is boss except me.

So, to sum this all up – when you take responsibility for a set of interns, my suggestion is to realize you are responsible for them in a way, similar to a parent, in that they do look up to you for guidance and instruction. They still have a lot of learning in life (as we all do), but since you are the supervisor, you need to consider who you are, your actions, and how you handle things – especially when shit hits the fan. Would you like the interns to take on these characteristics you’ve been displaying and have them apply it later in their life? Because that’s how supervisors are supposed to act?

For example, when shit hits the fan are you going to freak out in front of everyone or are you going to sit down and start brainstorming for solutions? This is what I had to do because I had no choice. I could not show the interns that being and feeling defeated in the face of the system and giving up on the organization is the way to go. You have to keep moving on until you tested all options and see that it is best in the end. Overall it’s important that you show your interns, or whoever is with you, to not give up. Even if that means you have to take on a load for a while until things settle down.

I could not have come to such stability and drive for solutions if it were not for the Desteni tools and community. I truly believe walking my process with them made me become a more pragmatic, practical, less emotional, and commonsensical person.

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

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277. Solutions from a Teacher Towards Children Hitting/Abusing Each Other

michael-mims-130838I’m a Teacher Assistant in a kindergarten and recently I’ve been looking at my reaction in fear and stress when I see a child about to attack (before) or after the attack. The reaction comes from wanting to save the children and prevent, shelter them from abuse and harsh and sometimes violent behavior of children. Especially the ”innocent” who are so young/small and unaware of what is happening yet they will be victims of a child’s abuse.

The fact that bullying and hitting happens daily in the classroom makes me really concerned and worried for the wellbeing of the children. This is something I don’t want in the classroom, yet it is basically out of my control as I cannot control the children 100% and be aware of all the happenings of interactions at once to prevent everything bad/negative. Yes I have been able to stop things before they happened, but not all. I have spoken to many children during many conflicts, and yet the same behaviors happen over and over. There are a lot of factors to take into consideration about this: The happiness of the child, the way the situation/conflict is handled by the teacher, if the teacher has communicated the problem and solution well enough for the child to integrate it, parent-child relationship at home and relationship with conflict, social skills/lack of social skills…the list can go on as to the many reasons why a child hits and bullies in the classroom.

Looking at this more, I’ve come to see how we as adults exist in similar ways when it comes to harming others, like how children do – but in a more internal/controlled way. We allow ourselves to spite each other in our heads – saying mean things, imagining harming others because we’re upset and angry. Children are our reflection and do not have this control like us so they will act out on it in physical reality. Therefore, me reacting in fear is really pointless when I see children harming each other, either through thought, word and deed because on levels in me I must do the same.

Then it’s best to just get right to action in being able to deal with the aftermath of the conflict and find ways/solutions for such situations to be prevented in the classroom.

Self-Forgiveness & Commitment Statements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear and stress moments before I see a child hit or abuse another child as revenge towards something they are feeling/experiencing on an internal level. I realize that this type of response of revenge is our human nature, though not to be justified that it’s ok to exist in this, as seeking revenge or wanting to harm others when one feels a part of them is threatened allows the continuation of abuse on life on earth.

When and as I see myself feeling like a part of me is threatened and I want to seek revenge by making someone feel less / become weakened, I stop, I breathe and I understand what do I feel weakened in/threatened about,  and find solutions on how to direct the situation and strengthen my weakness so that I can exist in integrity and not cause unnecessary consequences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear and stress to the aftermath of when a child is hit or harmed because I fear they are going to be traumatized forever from that instead of realizing it is trauma enough the child has to live in a world where the humans around them exist on a mind consciousness level and not on a pure, physical life level, and thus have to deal with the words and actions from others who speak, act and think from consciousness instead of oneness and equality as life.

I commit myself to stand as an example for the children and children to come to stop participating in thoughts, emotions and ideas and instead understand them, direct them, clear them so that I can stand as a being not influenced by the mind as consciousness but stands for life

WORDS TO LIVE: Being an Example (for the children) of another way to live/be

I forgive myself thatI have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear toward the thought of the children are being traumatized from the accumulation of children hitting and abusing in the environment, instead of realizing this is just an idea I have, that I do not know how much a child can handle or process, and that taking care of my own reactions toward this point by not giving into fear is much more important – because each time I participate in fear with this idea, I am imprinting this into me and the physical, allowing such fears to continue and even manifest in the physical

I commit myself to stop thinking children are getting traumatized by the hitting and verbal abuse and instead realize the real trauma comes from consciousness and thus best for me to be purified of that, while finding solutions as a teacher/staff member to educate children on the consequences of their actions 

Additional Support

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

267. Clearing Judgements on People Who Drop out of School

photo-1417577792096-106a2c4e353dI noticed family programming in me that I accepted and allowed to exist and influence who I am when it comes to career and education…

I grew up in a household where education and going to college is important. You basically have no choice and must go to college, or else you will get hounded and judged by family, and it is actually looked down upon in my family and with my other aunts and uncles, so it is also an ego/image point that family members maintain by making sure their children follow through in going to school / college– because it’s all about looking good in front of the family.

This means that if you drop out or go an alternative route, this will not good look in the eyes of family. This is looked down upon, and you look low-class / less than what you should be / look like.

It’s really screwed up because that means we define each other by education and status instead of who one is, as a human being / beingness expression. Especially when it is in family, which is meant to be an intimate, safe group for individuals to develop and grow, this is not the case in real life when survival, ego and status is more important than the individual and their potential. Quite sad, but there is that potential in all of us to change.

Self-Forgiveness:

Judgement on dropping out / not finishing college* (*University can also be used instead of college)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people who drop out of college

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and label people who drop out of college as bad

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question what does it mean to be a bad person, and does it really make/define someone as bad if they drop out of school? I realize how limited I am in defining who or what someone is bad based on a decision

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look down upon people who drop out of college or not finish school

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be disgusted by people who drop out of college or do not complete school by thinking they are scum and should be ashamed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect people who drop out of school to those who work in fast food restaurants or clean toilets for a living, and from this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and see people less than me who work in fast food restaurants or clean toilets because the job they do is not favorable and also looked down in society

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that those who drop out of college / don’t finish school are disgusting and scum and should be disregarded

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am better and have the right to judge people who drop out of college or don’t finish college instead of seeing, realizing and understanding there are many reasons and factors as to why someone drops out / does not finish, so best to understand them than judging them so quickly

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that college is not for everyone in this world, and that just because someone doesn’t go to college or drops out of it does not make them anymore less than everyone else on this planet. It simply indicates that they made a choice and there is no need to judge them on this choice since the choice is made by each one individually

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and believe people who drop out / don’t finish college are weak and are someone to look down upon in shame, instead of realizing how I have no right to do this / be this and actually I should be the one shamed because I do not in fact know the reasons and factors as to why this person dropped out / did not finish school yet I judge so quickly and think of myself as better than them for it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that just because someone didn’t finish school / dropped out does not make them less than me, and –

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the other person as less than me / not good enough in my mind when I think about how they didn’t finish school / dropped out of college, where in my mind I place them a level below me and I look down at them from a level above

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand equal and humble with the person who dropped out of college / did not finish school and support them as much as I would want to be supported in this life

We are so quick to judge than understanding others for the decisions they make. Let’s start the stopping of judgements and shift our focus in understanding and helping each other develop into our utmost potentials.

I commit myself to live in humbleness instead of superiority when I am with people I typically react in superiority towards and get to know these people so I can see more of who one is

I commit myself to understand the reasons and factors behind why a person dropped out of college / school within understanding and humbleness

I commit myself to remind me that just because someone drops out of college does not mean that they are less than me because we are all equal here on this planet, regardless of education and status. We are all living human beings sharing this planet together

I commit myself to realize and remind myself that another’s decision to drop out of school does NOT define them who they are totally – and that who they are is much more than this decision

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Additional Resources:

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

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