271. Standing up to Teenagers?

rgj-nu_qwjm-haley-phelpsToday I had to remind two pre-teen girls in front of their friends to clean up the mess they left for a mouse cage they cleaned today at school. It is through the school philosophy the students (and teachers!) need to clean up after themselves. Though the girls basically tried to skirt around doing this – coming up with answers like the cleaning man should do it…basically finding a way out of it. I reacted to their laziness and blamed this generation for being inconsiderate, spoiled and lazy.

I know not all children / pre-teens are like this, but I have encountered several of them in the school establishment I work at.

The problem was that I caved in and let the point go because I didn’t know how else to direct them. I gave up on them, on the point because I was scared of being firm with them and was also scared of them refusing to help me even despite me being very firm and standing up to them.  I ended up cleaning their mess, though I regret it because they really should have done it.

From this, I have considered if many parents do this – they don’t know how to be firm and stand up in assertiveness to their children in showing them what they need to do in consideration of themselves and others, so they end up doing the work for them, and thus this allows the child to go through life having adults or people doing things for them…

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having pre-teens / teens stand up to me and say no on something I need them to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pre-teens / teens make fun of me in front of others / their peers instead of realizing this could only happen if they allow it and are not alone – because if they were alone, it is most unlikely they would make fun of me

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the power of ‘strength in numbers’ meaning, that 2 or more individuals who agree and stand together on a point, will continue to stand/live out that point, such as for example, refusing to help out the community by cleaning up after themselves, so they stand together on the point, refusing to help, thus making it harder for the adult / other individual to move / suggest / push them to do what is required / needed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame this upcoming generation of pre-teens and teenagers through defining / labeling them as lazy, spoiled and inconsiderate – not realizing they are the product of our (adults) collective acceptance and allowance of how we participate, and exist in through and as the mind consciousness system – meaning, this generation is  but a result of how we as adults are existing within towards our internal and external experiences towards our personal lives and this world system

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be quite thorough and clear to the pre-teens / teenagers about what is required of them to do – such as explaining to them the philosophy and requirements of participating in the school environment, that it is expected of them to clean up after themselves because everyone else does, so to please finish what they started, instead of allowing someone else to do their job for them. Also, within this I realize that if they do not listen to me I can go to additional support / other teachers to help me with this point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to succumb into fear of ridiculing myself in front of pre-teens / teenagers who were not listening to me / doing what I suggested they do because I was afraid of being ridiculed or made to look stupid in front of them. I see I am afraid of looking weak in their eyes, where they will call me names or make fun of how I look – not realizing these fears indicate WEAKNESSES I still need to strengthen within me.

I also realize that I should have pulled the two pre-teen girls aside to talk to them privately because then perhaps their friends’s presence would not influence them. I do think friend’s and status / ego is a big importance in a pre-teen / teens life (unfortunately) which can influence their interaction with adults or doing things they self-honestly need to do. If only we could have  base foundation of relationships within self-support and self-honesty then it would be really cool. To get there, it takes us adults to stand as living examples for our children, the youngsters – showing and teaching what it means to live and co-exist with living things.

 

I commit myself to stand as a living example for our youth, showing them what it means to live / be considerate, motivated, expressive and kind in this world by first doing it and living it through me.

I commit myself to communicate myself thoroughly in explaining why something needs to be done so the individual(s) can understand more clearly – and communicate myself until I am clear within me and I said everything that needed to be said / expressed

I commit myself to walk / work through my weaknesses as personal insecurities towards how I look and am within me

I commit myself to consider the friend-factor when asking a pre-teen / teen to do something – that friends do have a major influence on them, so to place more consideration of this point of external influence of decisions the pre-teen / teen makes for themselves

I commit myself to show and teach the youth how to speak up and stand up independently for what you believe in and stand for, as to not compromise yourself by first not compromising myself / not giving in to points / weaknesses that come forth from my mind. I work on this practically by identifying intimately with myself my weaknesses so I can then work towards BUILDING/STRENGTHENING those weaknesses myself.

 

 

Additional Resources:

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

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