287. Dropping Ideas of People & Getting to Know Yourself

averie-woodard-111832Perhaps we watch someone on Youtube or see photos of people and over time create these ideas and assumptions of who they are and must be in reality, but then we actually meet them we see so many other expressions and aspects of them.

I had a cool burst of my bubble as of late where I didn’t realize I had these ideas of certain people living on the Desteni Farm – like ideas of their expression and who they are as a person. It was through actually meeting them and spending time with them did I get to see other aspects and expressions of them I hadn’t even considered or seen before which actually supported me to see how limited I was in my perception of these people.

For example, let’s say you had the idea that this person is really tough and that was all you saw and thought of them to be, but then meeting them you realize they have a soft side to them.

So from realizing this that I tend to see people quite narrowly, by only categorizing them into a few words, this allowed me to see that I am also limiting myself in me, where I define me quite narrowly as well, like a few expressions instead of exploring more expressions of me.

I also want to add that upon meeting these people a part of me/my mind did not want to accept these other expressions I saw in them… a part of me didn’t want to let go of the ideas I had and ACCEPT the NEW… the REALITY.

So I would suggest for anyone reading this is if you have these ideas and assumptions of how a person is – drop them and actually talk to them more, get to know them, expand your awareness and understanding of them, as well as equally understanding where are you limiting in yourself in believing you are only this and this kind of person… and to see what other expressions we can develop or be in who we are.

So from this I will explore more of these self-definitions I’ve been holding onto of me and seeing what words I can use to develop myself.

Suggested Resources:

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

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277. Solutions from a Teacher Towards Children Hitting/Abusing Each Other

michael-mims-130838I’m a Teacher Assistant in a kindergarten and recently I’ve been looking at my reaction in fear and stress when I see a child about to attack (before) or after the attack. The reaction comes from wanting to save the children and prevent, shelter them from abuse and harsh and sometimes violent behavior of children. Especially the ”innocent” who are so young/small and unaware of what is happening yet they will be victims of a child’s abuse.

The fact that bullying and hitting happens daily in the classroom makes me really concerned and worried for the wellbeing of the children. This is something I don’t want in the classroom, yet it is basically out of my control as I cannot control the children 100% and be aware of all the happenings of interactions at once to prevent everything bad/negative. Yes I have been able to stop things before they happened, but not all. I have spoken to many children during many conflicts, and yet the same behaviors happen over and over. There are a lot of factors to take into consideration about this: The happiness of the child, the way the situation/conflict is handled by the teacher, if the teacher has communicated the problem and solution well enough for the child to integrate it, parent-child relationship at home and relationship with conflict, social skills/lack of social skills…the list can go on as to the many reasons why a child hits and bullies in the classroom.

Looking at this more, I’ve come to see how we as adults exist in similar ways when it comes to harming others, like how children do – but in a more internal/controlled way. We allow ourselves to spite each other in our heads – saying mean things, imagining harming others because we’re upset and angry. Children are our reflection and do not have this control like us so they will act out on it in physical reality. Therefore, me reacting in fear is really pointless when I see children harming each other, either through thought, word and deed because on levels in me I must do the same.

Then it’s best to just get right to action in being able to deal with the aftermath of the conflict and find ways/solutions for such situations to be prevented in the classroom.

Self-Forgiveness & Commitment Statements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear and stress moments before I see a child hit or abuse another child as revenge towards something they are feeling/experiencing on an internal level. I realize that this type of response of revenge is our human nature, though not to be justified that it’s ok to exist in this, as seeking revenge or wanting to harm others when one feels a part of them is threatened allows the continuation of abuse on life on earth.

When and as I see myself feeling like a part of me is threatened and I want to seek revenge by making someone feel less / become weakened, I stop, I breathe and I understand what do I feel weakened in/threatened about,  and find solutions on how to direct the situation and strengthen my weakness so that I can exist in integrity and not cause unnecessary consequences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear and stress to the aftermath of when a child is hit or harmed because I fear they are going to be traumatized forever from that instead of realizing it is trauma enough the child has to live in a world where the humans around them exist on a mind consciousness level and not on a pure, physical life level, and thus have to deal with the words and actions from others who speak, act and think from consciousness instead of oneness and equality as life.

I commit myself to stand as an example for the children and children to come to stop participating in thoughts, emotions and ideas and instead understand them, direct them, clear them so that I can stand as a being not influenced by the mind as consciousness but stands for life

WORDS TO LIVE: Being an Example (for the children) of another way to live/be

I forgive myself thatI have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear toward the thought of the children are being traumatized from the accumulation of children hitting and abusing in the environment, instead of realizing this is just an idea I have, that I do not know how much a child can handle or process, and that taking care of my own reactions toward this point by not giving into fear is much more important – because each time I participate in fear with this idea, I am imprinting this into me and the physical, allowing such fears to continue and even manifest in the physical

I commit myself to stop thinking children are getting traumatized by the hitting and verbal abuse and instead realize the real trauma comes from consciousness and thus best for me to be purified of that, while finding solutions as a teacher/staff member to educate children on the consequences of their actions 

Additional Support

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

276. Face the Weaknesses & Grow from Them

4uojmedcwi8-tim-bogdanovI identified a pattern/program where I go into fear and insecurity when a new task/assignment/project is given that I am not confident in and do not yet have experience on. I will go into those emotional experiences, and I suppress that because that shows a WEAKNESS of mine. Usually I would suppress these experiences because they reveal a weakness/something I don’t know or am not confident in, and from this I will normally then judge them or react in fear to the experiences showing my weakness. So it’s a program …

Wikipedia: A (computer) program is a collection of instructions that performs a specific task when executed by a computer.

So I have a collection of instructions that I as a being have accepted and allowed in me to act on when something happens, such as in this case – when I access a point of a weakness, something I am not confident in – I typically go into this program of reacting in fear or anger or judgement or worry towards the weakness – it’s a shield to protect me from understanding and seeing more into the weakness in general and instead of doing something about it, learning from the weakness and improving me as the weakness, I follow the program of reacting and suppressing and not doing anything about it

I know if I face it I face the fact that I don’t know something, I am weak in something, I need help in something, I am vulnerable in something, and that is something that is not ‘good’ in the ‘survival of the fittest’ system – for others and even me to see a weakness/vulnerability point.

The best solution I see within this is to actually acknowledge and see the weakness for what it is, understand it and then find a way to strengthen it.

Self-Forgiveness & Corrective Statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react negatively when I see a weakness or point I am not confident in, instead of dropping the emotion and instead working within understanding/translating it from my mind and finding a solution to learn and grow from it

I commit myself to when and as I see me react towards a weakness I see in my mind, to stop, breathe and forgive the specific emotion and find a way to learn and grow from it, because I realize the emotion/reaction is like a shield that protects the access to really understanding the weakness/problem in fact, because if I can understand it, I can change it

I believe I have taken on a similar program from my dad, where when I feel like my weaknesses may be exposed, I will protect it by reacting, to shield me from seeing more into the weakness or secret, even. What I realize is that this is typical response we all have built in us because in the world, any form of weakness could be used against us, and could threaten our survival, which means we somehow have created it this way in ourselves, where we use our weaknesses against ourselves – instead of nurturing and supporting ourselves to strengthen our weaknesses. This means we/I need to start opening up these weaknesses in a space of support, that no matter what I see and reveal to me, I will find a way, a solution to assist and support me to understand and walk through this weakness and act/live a solution that I can build/grow/develop from the weakness, so eventually the weakness becomes a strength.

I commit myself to create the safe space within me I always wanted – where when I face a weakness I acknowledge it and use the bridge word LEARN to move me to support me to learn from the weakness and find a solution to strengthen it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react strongly when I feel like my vulnerability and my weaknesses are being ”threatened” – meaning, they may be exposed or be revealed to someone because I am so afraid of what or how another may see me now. I see, realize and understand that I am afraid of being judged or seen as weak if/when my weaknesses are revealed and have them be used against me or the weakness/es are used to place a label and be seen as something/someone due to this weakness.

I commit myself to stop defining people according to their weaknesses, and/or using their weaknesses and problems as justifications towards why they are the way they are since weaknesses doesn’t define a being in their entirety

I commit myself to stop defining me and judging me according to my weaknesses and instead use every single weakness point of mine as an opportunity for me to get to know myself better, learn and grow from it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect having a weakness to it being a ‘problem’ and from it being a ‘problem’ react in fear towards it, by thinking ‘I can’t have a problem’ because then that shows to me something I need to work on and CHANGE in me

I commit myself to EMBRACE the problems I have and see them as gifts that give me insight into what I need to understand more, learn more from and develop into a strength – and move me to do so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear change and fear understanding and learning more about my weaknesses because I know and realize on a deep level these weaknesses also reveal a point of self-honesty and other not-so-pretty parts of me that need to change. I realize I will face my self-honesty as some point in my life/existence, and best to face it here while I’m here and alive. I can always learn, grow and develop from a weakness – it doesn’t have to stay a weakness – it can always be strengthened and changed, therefore –

I commit myself to work on every one of my weaknesses, to open them up, understand them, see where I fall, see what I need to develop, learn and grow from so I stop reacting and instead live free from reactions

Additional Resources:

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

274. The Future of Education

rmhsymxupw0-jj-thompsonI want to share a few memories/points with you, that will be explained more clearly soon:

When I came back from holiday, and went to work (school) after greeting the children and settling myself back in the environment, no more than 5 minutes later there was a conflict between the children – in such a way where the teacher had to sit them down and talk the situation through with them. I remember when the teacher told me that when she went to school to become a school teacher, she was never given information on the ”how-tos” of dealing with conflict in the classroom, so she had to figure it out on her own.

That evening I watched a bit of reality TV (I don’t want TV much) and was mesmerized with the amount of drama that some of the characters were going through, that took them over to the extent where that is all they thought and fought about. I looked within myself and realize how these little things do become such ”big deals” as points of preoccupation and distraction for the mind, especially if one doesn’t have the skills or development on how to deal with such points.

Then I looked at my Snapchat app and browsed through the Entertainment section where it was full of gossip, bright colors and designs – I could see the media manipulation – it was meant to grab attention to teenagers and young adults, yet in that moment I realized there is no LIFE SKILLS section – one where it shows how to properly handle a conflict, or how to deal with unresolved issues, or how to really accept your body… nothing of that nature to truly show and help human beings how to live in inner-harmony and peace with one another was there.

And that is because – there is no proper education given to all in this world in general of that. Yes, sure parents and individuals do teach us some life skills (ie: cooking, driving a car perhaps), but not to the extent of being able to understand ourselves as the mind/the thoughts we have, the emotions we feel, and how to co-exist with others in equality and harmony because there has never been a proper education of that – until now, where by the grace of Life/Existence, the Portal, EQAFE, and the Desteni i Process are here, sharing with us new information and life education. These resources have been here for about 10 years or so, slowly but surely incorporating new info, LIFE info, PRACTICAL info on how to understand oneself and how to walk and live effectively in this world.  These resources/online channels are one of a kind and is exactly what humanity needs — especially what the children of today will need in life because they WILL become the leaders of the world, and they need as much support and practical life education needed on how to function effectively in this world as possible.

This world system that has been built slowly but surely and created by us, humans and we have to consider the state we will leave the Earth to the children when we die. The children will have to experience what we’ve done to the planet as they get older and have to work in the system, where they will go through life’s ups and downs… these kids will need to know what to do and how to live effectively in this world.

We need a new education that focuses on how to work with the practical real world, and how to co-exist effectively with oneself and others (including animals, nature, objects etc), and I firmly believe the information through the Portal at EQAFE and Desteni i Process is the perfect start and resource for this. 

 

Additional Resources:

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

273. Facial Appearances and What Really Matters

5f8i3ckeswk-abi-lewisI was talking to my mom today and she mentioned how she was watching old movies of her and her family — featuring her specifically as a teenager and young adult.

She commented that she was surprised by how big (chubby/bloated) her face was, when she was younger (and she made specific gestures to show the wideness of how her face was). I reacted to this in surprise because she had these cheeks/wide face during the same years as me (teens and early 20’s) and she looked similar to me.

My face and cheeks were a very big insecurity of mine when I was younger, because to me it was big/fat/chubby, and I was surprised to see the same judgement within my mom towards her own face/cheeks when she was younger. It made me realize that perhaps I got this judgement condition from my mom and also that I have probably wasted so much time and energy judging and worrying about my face (it was a huge concern for me) because I defined it as not pretty, as a real big problem.

So I mentioned to my mom I also had a similar big/chubby face when I was her age, and she said, yes and now your face is thinner. I reacted to this because of the idea that having a big chubby/bloated face is unattractive/a problem. But what makes me most sad is the realization of how much of my time and energy I spent worried and insecure about my face – like it was huge deal for me – this point of unattractiveness — I wonder what else I could have done in my time if I had not worried and been so insecure of my face…

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my face and it’s shape negatively by defining and believing my face and it’s shape to be unattractive and not worthy enough in the system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become insecure of my face and how it looked like at school as a preoccupation to exist and fuel in worry to prevent me from enjoying my life and experience at school

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value to how a face looks by defining and judging me or someone according to how their face looks INSTEAD of seeing through that and into who that person is. I realize we are so conditioned in this world/society to define a person according to how their face looks like, where we interpret and judge and ‘think’ we know how or who someone is based on their face instead of getting to know oneself and another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think having a nice/attractive face is important, when I realize it is only ”important” in the system as the system supports beauty/attraction and not beingness expression. I realize there are so many gifted, beautiful people in this world that are not defined by how they look – but as so because of what exists within. Only the system gives speciality and priority to those who look a certain way, and this certain way is subjective and only according to one’s eye and not as a universal, collective agreement by all on what is truly ‘beautiful / attractive’ within the context of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my attention, focus and value to appearances – facial appearances by defining, thinking and believing facial appearances are important – more important than the expression from within. I realize that perhaps the reason why beauty is so important in the world system is because people of beauty are most likely to get better opportunities in life. Look at celebrity life – gossip papers love pointing out flaws and ‘imperfections’ as problems and points to highlight AS IF these things are bad or unacceptable. I mean, who really makes the final call on beauty?

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize how much time and energy was spent on appearance – the worries, the insecurities as parts of self-hate that took over my focus / living participation, as if how I look is what matters – when it is really who I am inside – and that I would not want me to waste so much time, resources and energy on something so futile when it is who I am and how I can become a better person and contribute to a world best for all is what matters.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become sad upon realizing how much time, energy and preoccupation I’ve spent focused, worrying and becoming insecure about how big my face is, or how it looks – since I realize how minute and little such a point is, that I made into a mountain – that I have wasted so much creative potential in during that time, I could have used to explore my interests and do something beneficial for me and others…I realize I am still here, that I don’t need to anymore focus on labeling or judging my face – but simply to take care of me as the physical body – to make sure I simply look presentable / normal in the system (like having hair combed, but not obsessing/going crazy over how I should look but keep it simple), and really spend 99% of my time applying real time change techniques on walking my process in becoming a better person, as well as putting in effort and attention to studying, and working within the system to contribute in change.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize how I have taken and implemented my mother’s judgement system towards facial appearances – through giving / placing judgement negatively on faces that are big / chubby, and within that, not realize how I manifested insecurity towards my face and allowed my face to become the sole focus of worry when it comes to how I look. Because the face is the first thing a person looks at – I worried people would judge me negatively the moment they see my face and not give me a chance, to get to know me. I see I exist in this same point…

I commit myself to focus on the person as the BEING, not as the face when I meet someone

I commit myself to shift my focus and attention on who a person is when I see them or talk to them – as I realize someone’s facial appearance is only 1% important compared to the 99% importance of who they are within

I commit myself to take care of my body, and to use my body to support me in this life to participate in activities and contribute in the creation of bringing change in this world…

 

To be continued…

 

Additional Resources:

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

271. Standing up to Teenagers?

rgj-nu_qwjm-haley-phelpsToday I had to remind two pre-teen girls in front of their friends to clean up the mess they left for a mouse cage they cleaned today at school. It is through the school philosophy the students (and teachers!) need to clean up after themselves. Though the girls basically tried to skirt around doing this – coming up with answers like the cleaning man should do it…basically finding a way out of it. I reacted to their laziness and blamed this generation for being inconsiderate, spoiled and lazy.

I know not all children / pre-teens are like this, but I have encountered several of them in the school establishment I work at.

The problem was that I caved in and let the point go because I didn’t know how else to direct them. I gave up on them, on the point because I was scared of being firm with them and was also scared of them refusing to help me even despite me being very firm and standing up to them.  I ended up cleaning their mess, though I regret it because they really should have done it.

From this, I have considered if many parents do this – they don’t know how to be firm and stand up in assertiveness to their children in showing them what they need to do in consideration of themselves and others, so they end up doing the work for them, and thus this allows the child to go through life having adults or people doing things for them…

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having pre-teens / teens stand up to me and say no on something I need them to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pre-teens / teens make fun of me in front of others / their peers instead of realizing this could only happen if they allow it and are not alone – because if they were alone, it is most unlikely they would make fun of me

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the power of ‘strength in numbers’ meaning, that 2 or more individuals who agree and stand together on a point, will continue to stand/live out that point, such as for example, refusing to help out the community by cleaning up after themselves, so they stand together on the point, refusing to help, thus making it harder for the adult / other individual to move / suggest / push them to do what is required / needed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame this upcoming generation of pre-teens and teenagers through defining / labeling them as lazy, spoiled and inconsiderate – not realizing they are the product of our (adults) collective acceptance and allowance of how we participate, and exist in through and as the mind consciousness system – meaning, this generation is  but a result of how we as adults are existing within towards our internal and external experiences towards our personal lives and this world system

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be quite thorough and clear to the pre-teens / teenagers about what is required of them to do – such as explaining to them the philosophy and requirements of participating in the school environment, that it is expected of them to clean up after themselves because everyone else does, so to please finish what they started, instead of allowing someone else to do their job for them. Also, within this I realize that if they do not listen to me I can go to additional support / other teachers to help me with this point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to succumb into fear of ridiculing myself in front of pre-teens / teenagers who were not listening to me / doing what I suggested they do because I was afraid of being ridiculed or made to look stupid in front of them. I see I am afraid of looking weak in their eyes, where they will call me names or make fun of how I look – not realizing these fears indicate WEAKNESSES I still need to strengthen within me.

I also realize that I should have pulled the two pre-teen girls aside to talk to them privately because then perhaps their friends’s presence would not influence them. I do think friend’s and status / ego is a big importance in a pre-teen / teens life (unfortunately) which can influence their interaction with adults or doing things they self-honestly need to do. If only we could have  base foundation of relationships within self-support and self-honesty then it would be really cool. To get there, it takes us adults to stand as living examples for our children, the youngsters – showing and teaching what it means to live and co-exist with living things.

 

I commit myself to stand as a living example for our youth, showing them what it means to live / be considerate, motivated, expressive and kind in this world by first doing it and living it through me.

I commit myself to communicate myself thoroughly in explaining why something needs to be done so the individual(s) can understand more clearly – and communicate myself until I am clear within me and I said everything that needed to be said / expressed

I commit myself to walk / work through my weaknesses as personal insecurities towards how I look and am within me

I commit myself to consider the friend-factor when asking a pre-teen / teen to do something – that friends do have a major influence on them, so to place more consideration of this point of external influence of decisions the pre-teen / teen makes for themselves

I commit myself to show and teach the youth how to speak up and stand up independently for what you believe in and stand for, as to not compromise yourself by first not compromising myself / not giving in to points / weaknesses that come forth from my mind. I work on this practically by identifying intimately with myself my weaknesses so I can then work towards BUILDING/STRENGTHENING those weaknesses myself.

 

 

Additional Resources:

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

270. Should We Trust Prophecies?

e_njrv9hre-felipe-santanaI was on a city tour today and heard about this New Years tradition from a certain culture that you cut an apple and if there are many seeds that means prosperity for the next year, but if the apple has no seeds that means illness and/or death.

So I was looking at this point of fortune telling, how people give absolute faith and trust in to the fortune or the messages they receive from prophets or psychics or objects (like tea reading, tarot cards, etc). But what if you receive bad news or information about something unfortunate that will happen to you – how will you react? Will you let this news affect you?

Because I was looking at those people who would go into absolute terror or fright upon seeing they got no seeds in their apple, that they would believe the next year will be an unfortunate one unless they challenge that prophecy.

Like if you are diagnosed with a disease, and the doctor says you have 3 months to live – some people take it literally and seriously, and just accept it as so – while others challenge that information / predication and not accept it. They know it is possible to live despite the news. And so, these people in some way, walk the path or find the solutions needed to prove the doctor’s prediction as wrong.  And there are hundreds of these stories of people who have healed themselves / cured themselves from terminal diseases — because they didn’t accept it and allowed themselves to be influenced by the original information / prediction.

So what if we realize we can challenge the ideas and information we receive about our lives and ourselves? What if we drop the fears of the future and focus on who we are now and what we’d like to create, and build ourselves every day into the person we’d like to be and live, in the here/now and future?

 

Additional Resources:

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships