The 4 Evils of Women – 326

One point I am actively working to be more aware of and change is who I am in relation to women. This is because for most of my life I have participated and been involved in situations with women that would end up keeping me in states of regret, spite, holding grudges, obsession, anger, etc.

Generally speaking, anything surrounding the topic of women and womanhood and being involved in women’s groups are weak points within me. Partly this is due to my past and also in my generational line both my mother and grandmother have had issues with women (the sins of the father quote is right on this one).

I’ve re-listened to the EQAFE recordings War of Women recently – specifically the last two which highlighted the ”4 Evils of Women” – which are: Comparison, Competition, Jealousy and Judgement.

Listen to the Recording: War of Women below ↓

full_war-of-women-death-research-part-1

It makes a lot of sense that these 4 words are what women participate in the most. What is always common is the putting down of oneself (through judgement) feeling threatened and wanting to one up someone (through competition), crumbling within self when comparing or seeing someone is better than you at something (comparison), and despising a person and possibly changing your behavior to hurt them/gossip about them because you want what they want (jealousy).

Now take all of that and put it in a group of women, and you got a shit storm. Even though women are more subtle and quiet in their actions, many of those ”evils” fuel on a constant basis and keep women in a state of self-abuse – unless you are within a group of women, like Destonians, who are actively working on themselves and standing as a support for oneself and another.

Yet, even Destonian women (like myself) are not perfect and fall at times. Like me, where despite learning A LOT and stopping participating as much as possible in Comparison, Competition, Jealousy and Judgement, it still comes up and seeps into my life.

I know the ill-effects participating in those words have on one’s wellbeing and mental state. It’s not pretty, and my theory is that a lot of it also comes from how one was raised and the relationship a women has or had with their mother. Mothers are usually our primary caregivers, and who we look up to. The mother is connected to the feminine expression and feminine qualities within us all.

My theory is that if the relationship with the mother is tainted because the mother is tainted: ie: she compares herself to other women, or judges her own daughter because of her own insecurities, etc, the daughter will also end up like her, broken, unless she has made a conscious choice to NOT be like that and actively works on herself to do so.

Otherwise, if you put broken, insecure women together, you can imagine the kind of abuse that can happen. Realities shows like the Kardashians and the Housewives of Orange Country are examples. Gossip, deceiving, and betrayal are outflows of participating in Comparison, Competition, Judgement and Jealousy within oneself and one’s world.

That’s why it’s so important to start a new revolution per sey, of women, where women really actively work on themselves and take leadership of understanding their emotions and their pain, guilt and trauma they’ve endured in the past, and do something constructive about it.

I do see a wave of self love, self care and support coming forth in social media, which is great and already a great first step. My suggestion, as the second step, is for us as women to start becoming more aware of our relationship with ourselves and how we are participating in the ”4 evils” so we can purify ourselves, re-define the words, and live a new life free of self-abuse.

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

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280. Compliment Me… Make Me Feel Better

william-stitt-151774Depend on others to give me compliments to make me feel better about myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend/expect/need people to give me compliments and make me feel better when I am online or when I post something because I have connected that to it making me feel better about myself and validating/justifying the idea that I am an okay person, there is nothing bad/wrong with me.  I realize such experiences of feeling better/good about myself from compliments/positive and supportive comments only last temporarily and are thus not a solution for long term happiness/self-acceptance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that receiving compliments from others are more important than developing and being self-acceptance in it’s pure form/expression. I realize the only true form of self-love/self-acceptance is if self develops, lives and IS it absolutely/completely

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear feeling bad for myself/of myself if I don’t receive the compliments I wanted/needed/expected to receive, because I have for some reason in my life decided that other’s words and comments are more valuable/important than my words I decide to live, express, move and become. I realize that by wanting/needing/expecting certain words/compliments from people to make me feel better only separates me more from truly developing a healthy relationship with me, self-love and self-acceptance

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to develop self-love and self-acceptance. I realize the only way to truly develop these words is to see where/how I am not living them – like what memories/experiences are defining me that are keeping me stuck where I seek love/acceptance through others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate me from being self-love and self-acceptance as who I am, as my own unique expression and understanding

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others saying things to me that hurt ‘my feelings’ instead of realizing I can only feel hurt or fear getting hurt from certain words/sayings from people if I actually believe/give value to what people say about me/to me and somehow live those words/expressions myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being judged as a bad person, for what I have done or who I am, not realizing that which I fear are points I have not yet resolved or forgiven, but still hold onto and define as me – things I am embarrassed about or ashamed about but have not yet faced. This I realize is the key to actually getting to self-acceptance/self-love is to face the dark side of me, the mistakes, consequences, unawareness, actions I have made through spite and/or emotions and FORGIVE MYSELF OF THEM, bringing these points to understanding and change

I commit myself to identify all the memories I am ashamed or embarrassed to look at because I realize by facing them, understanding who I was in the memory, how I created myself to be that, and forgive them, I open/allow me the opportunity to change and redefine who I am – become a new me I can be proud of

Additional Support

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

252. Noticing My Movements

photo-1451933371645-a3029668b979I have had a cold the last few days, which supported me to slow down, and observe more of my movements and how I interact in my daily environment.

At home, something as simple as making tea ends up not so graceful and aligned. Like pouring water into a cup from a water heater — I ended up missing the water going into the cup and allowed it to drop onto the counter. This showed me my misalignment with the cup, the water heater and the water itself. I saw this behavior, and saw my lack of care in this moment, which led to me missing a moment with the cup and pouring some water on the counter. This is a habit I tend to do where I will spill things because I do not give what I am doing 100% of my care and attention. I have ”other things I need to do,” that I give more value to instead of what I’m doing in the moment.

Looking at it ideally, I should give everything I do in the moment equal attention value. Who I am in the moment, and what I am doing should be given this, because what I am doing is a part of me and my living experience. If I am not here, giving care, consideration and attention to what I am doing and suppose to be doing because my priorities and/or focus is somewhere ”else” (a.k.a in my mind) then I am missing moments, moments right here in front of me, moments OF ME, where I am with me. If I am not with me, and what I am doing, reality will show me the misalignments (like pouring water onto the counter instead of in the cup).

Self-Forgiveness, Self-Realizations & Commitment Statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my attention and value to things outside of me, like tasks I need to do in the near future instead of giving attention and value to what I am doing right now in this moment

From this, I realize that when I miss a moment of what I am doing in the moment, I miss a moment with me and what is in front of me

I commit myself to move my focus to me and what I am doing in the moment, in breath, and whenever I see me shift away from reality and into the mind, I bring myself gently back

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care more about what I need to do in the future/near future than what I am doing NOW, not realizing it is the NOW that determines the future and who I will be in the future, because if I am not here with me and what I am doing in the present moment, I am communicating to myself and reality that I cannot be trusted that I will be here/present in the moments in the future, which is why it is necessary and of greatest support to be here with me, in what I am doing in the moment

I commit myself to apply care and consideration to every task I do by being present while working with it, giving it my attention and taking care of it as I see it most supportive/best, since that also supports me in working equal with my reality and what I’m doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care or consider what I am doing in this moment now, such as pouring water in a cup,through living the backchat ”I don’t want to do this, I want to do something else…” which then shows by spilling water, or not closing lids on bottles properly, instead of realizing how within not giving my full attention to what I am doing in the moment, I am creating consequences and existing in personal preferences of self-interest instead of acting simply as a being in care of life and doing my job at it’s best within the moment.

From this I also realize how fun I can make it living in the moment and deciding for myself how I want to move and direct me in the task that will create a supportive outcome and job well done that I can be satisfied with

When and as I see myself think ”I don’t want to do this, I want to do something else…”I stop and I breathe. I realize I am existing in personal preferences of self-interest and instead shift myself and my awareness to what the moment and task in front of me requires of me, and from there, act on it within care and consideration

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in apathy towards the small and seemingly unimportant tasks, like kitchen work, closing the lid on a bottle, and doing such tasks half heartedly – with no care and consideration to do it properly because I have given other tasks priority and importance than the objects and tasks I am doing right now

From this I realize how I fuel inequality to happen, where I give more attention and care to one thing while another not so much, when it should be that I give care and consideration to all things equally in everything I do. Where I do the tasks properly and in alignment with physical reality needs.

I think it is ok to have important tasks be priority, but it should not cloud me in my mind when I doing something else – because my focus should be what I am doing now, and doing it to the best of my ability. I should not just put in the best effort in only priority tasks, but in all tasks, the great and the small – that way I am living and applying equality for all life/things.

I commit myself to give attention and value to every task I do equally, since all items and jobs here should be treated in care, consideration and support

I commit myself to do the best I can in the jobs and tasks I am involved in, staying in the present moment, being here with me in my living experience.

 

Additional Resources:

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships