285. A Personal Note on ”The Maker of Matter’

full_the-maker-of-matter-reptilians-part-562Essential real substantial change happens in the every day life moments. Otherwise we build and create more problems for ourselves because we are afraid of taking 100% responsibility for ourselves.

After listening to the Reptilians interview called Maker of Matter, I realize I am the Maker, I make and decide to live out/experience/act on my thoughts, insecurities without doing anything about it but allow myself to continue dragging through points without actually taking them on due to me personally wanting to keep me in a self-victimized helpless state. If I keep myself in that state it is as though I don’t have to take responsibility cause I am “so helpless! I’m in such a victimized state! Oh I have to do this and that! Oh no! Look at how shitty my life turned out to be…look at how these people and these situations/things left me in the state I am!” It’s not real and just an avoidance to taking full responsibility of who I am in realizing I have allowed events to unfold as is and I have created myself and my process as is up to this point because of acting/re-acting in a state of helplessness, self-victimization, “it’s not my fault! They did this to me!!” It’s bullshit really lol.

So realizing and identifying these two aspects in me of experiencing helplessness and self-victimization and the belief that I am not responsible nor capable enough to take responsibility for myself is just an excuse, an avoidance mechanism to not walk outside of the box and change, in my every day moments. Cool I flagged these two points – victimization and helplessness cause now I can see these are my “downfalls” and “weaknesses” that actually when they come up I can then move me to empower myself to learn more about who I am in these points and find the solution to change.

 

Additional Support

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

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277. Solutions from a Teacher Towards Children Hitting/Abusing Each Other

michael-mims-130838I’m a Teacher Assistant in a kindergarten and recently I’ve been looking at my reaction in fear and stress when I see a child about to attack (before) or after the attack. The reaction comes from wanting to save the children and prevent, shelter them from abuse and harsh and sometimes violent behavior of children. Especially the ”innocent” who are so young/small and unaware of what is happening yet they will be victims of a child’s abuse.

The fact that bullying and hitting happens daily in the classroom makes me really concerned and worried for the wellbeing of the children. This is something I don’t want in the classroom, yet it is basically out of my control as I cannot control the children 100% and be aware of all the happenings of interactions at once to prevent everything bad/negative. Yes I have been able to stop things before they happened, but not all. I have spoken to many children during many conflicts, and yet the same behaviors happen over and over. There are a lot of factors to take into consideration about this: The happiness of the child, the way the situation/conflict is handled by the teacher, if the teacher has communicated the problem and solution well enough for the child to integrate it, parent-child relationship at home and relationship with conflict, social skills/lack of social skills…the list can go on as to the many reasons why a child hits and bullies in the classroom.

Looking at this more, I’ve come to see how we as adults exist in similar ways when it comes to harming others, like how children do – but in a more internal/controlled way. We allow ourselves to spite each other in our heads – saying mean things, imagining harming others because we’re upset and angry. Children are our reflection and do not have this control like us so they will act out on it in physical reality. Therefore, me reacting in fear is really pointless when I see children harming each other, either through thought, word and deed because on levels in me I must do the same.

Then it’s best to just get right to action in being able to deal with the aftermath of the conflict and find ways/solutions for such situations to be prevented in the classroom.

Self-Forgiveness & Commitment Statements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear and stress moments before I see a child hit or abuse another child as revenge towards something they are feeling/experiencing on an internal level. I realize that this type of response of revenge is our human nature, though not to be justified that it’s ok to exist in this, as seeking revenge or wanting to harm others when one feels a part of them is threatened allows the continuation of abuse on life on earth.

When and as I see myself feeling like a part of me is threatened and I want to seek revenge by making someone feel less / become weakened, I stop, I breathe and I understand what do I feel weakened in/threatened about,  and find solutions on how to direct the situation and strengthen my weakness so that I can exist in integrity and not cause unnecessary consequences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear and stress to the aftermath of when a child is hit or harmed because I fear they are going to be traumatized forever from that instead of realizing it is trauma enough the child has to live in a world where the humans around them exist on a mind consciousness level and not on a pure, physical life level, and thus have to deal with the words and actions from others who speak, act and think from consciousness instead of oneness and equality as life.

I commit myself to stand as an example for the children and children to come to stop participating in thoughts, emotions and ideas and instead understand them, direct them, clear them so that I can stand as a being not influenced by the mind as consciousness but stands for life

WORDS TO LIVE: Being an Example (for the children) of another way to live/be

I forgive myself thatI have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear toward the thought of the children are being traumatized from the accumulation of children hitting and abusing in the environment, instead of realizing this is just an idea I have, that I do not know how much a child can handle or process, and that taking care of my own reactions toward this point by not giving into fear is much more important – because each time I participate in fear with this idea, I am imprinting this into me and the physical, allowing such fears to continue and even manifest in the physical

I commit myself to stop thinking children are getting traumatized by the hitting and verbal abuse and instead realize the real trauma comes from consciousness and thus best for me to be purified of that, while finding solutions as a teacher/staff member to educate children on the consequences of their actions 

Additional Support

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

276. Face the Weaknesses & Grow from Them

4uojmedcwi8-tim-bogdanovI identified a pattern/program where I go into fear and insecurity when a new task/assignment/project is given that I am not confident in and do not yet have experience on. I will go into those emotional experiences, and I suppress that because that shows a WEAKNESS of mine. Usually I would suppress these experiences because they reveal a weakness/something I don’t know or am not confident in, and from this I will normally then judge them or react in fear to the experiences showing my weakness. So it’s a program …

Wikipedia: A (computer) program is a collection of instructions that performs a specific task when executed by a computer.

So I have a collection of instructions that I as a being have accepted and allowed in me to act on when something happens, such as in this case – when I access a point of a weakness, something I am not confident in – I typically go into this program of reacting in fear or anger or judgement or worry towards the weakness – it’s a shield to protect me from understanding and seeing more into the weakness in general and instead of doing something about it, learning from the weakness and improving me as the weakness, I follow the program of reacting and suppressing and not doing anything about it

I know if I face it I face the fact that I don’t know something, I am weak in something, I need help in something, I am vulnerable in something, and that is something that is not ‘good’ in the ‘survival of the fittest’ system – for others and even me to see a weakness/vulnerability point.

The best solution I see within this is to actually acknowledge and see the weakness for what it is, understand it and then find a way to strengthen it.

Self-Forgiveness & Corrective Statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react negatively when I see a weakness or point I am not confident in, instead of dropping the emotion and instead working within understanding/translating it from my mind and finding a solution to learn and grow from it

I commit myself to when and as I see me react towards a weakness I see in my mind, to stop, breathe and forgive the specific emotion and find a way to learn and grow from it, because I realize the emotion/reaction is like a shield that protects the access to really understanding the weakness/problem in fact, because if I can understand it, I can change it

I believe I have taken on a similar program from my dad, where when I feel like my weaknesses may be exposed, I will protect it by reacting, to shield me from seeing more into the weakness or secret, even. What I realize is that this is typical response we all have built in us because in the world, any form of weakness could be used against us, and could threaten our survival, which means we somehow have created it this way in ourselves, where we use our weaknesses against ourselves – instead of nurturing and supporting ourselves to strengthen our weaknesses. This means we/I need to start opening up these weaknesses in a space of support, that no matter what I see and reveal to me, I will find a way, a solution to assist and support me to understand and walk through this weakness and act/live a solution that I can build/grow/develop from the weakness, so eventually the weakness becomes a strength.

I commit myself to create the safe space within me I always wanted – where when I face a weakness I acknowledge it and use the bridge word LEARN to move me to support me to learn from the weakness and find a solution to strengthen it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react strongly when I feel like my vulnerability and my weaknesses are being ”threatened” – meaning, they may be exposed or be revealed to someone because I am so afraid of what or how another may see me now. I see, realize and understand that I am afraid of being judged or seen as weak if/when my weaknesses are revealed and have them be used against me or the weakness/es are used to place a label and be seen as something/someone due to this weakness.

I commit myself to stop defining people according to their weaknesses, and/or using their weaknesses and problems as justifications towards why they are the way they are since weaknesses doesn’t define a being in their entirety

I commit myself to stop defining me and judging me according to my weaknesses and instead use every single weakness point of mine as an opportunity for me to get to know myself better, learn and grow from it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect having a weakness to it being a ‘problem’ and from it being a ‘problem’ react in fear towards it, by thinking ‘I can’t have a problem’ because then that shows to me something I need to work on and CHANGE in me

I commit myself to EMBRACE the problems I have and see them as gifts that give me insight into what I need to understand more, learn more from and develop into a strength – and move me to do so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear change and fear understanding and learning more about my weaknesses because I know and realize on a deep level these weaknesses also reveal a point of self-honesty and other not-so-pretty parts of me that need to change. I realize I will face my self-honesty as some point in my life/existence, and best to face it here while I’m here and alive. I can always learn, grow and develop from a weakness – it doesn’t have to stay a weakness – it can always be strengthened and changed, therefore –

I commit myself to work on every one of my weaknesses, to open them up, understand them, see where I fall, see what I need to develop, learn and grow from so I stop reacting and instead live free from reactions

Additional Resources:

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

257. A Kiss Driven by Love

photo-1444839368740-f0d3572f8067I found some writings on the experience of Love I’d like to share, where within the experience of love, one moves themselves to kiss someone:

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand I was being moved by consciousness energy of love, which is the polarity of fear

When and as I see myself be moved or want to move from / as the energetic experience of “love,” I stop and breathe. I realize I had been allowing myself to move me based on feelings as energetic experiences from consciousness, instead of moving me within awareness and a decision of kissing the person.

So I commit to STOP me from moving through/as/within consciousness energy of love, take a step back, breathe and assess what would be best for me now as a living being not defined/moved by consciousness. I can redefine and live the word “Directive” – directing me towards what I see best.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that being moved to kiss someone out of feelings of “love” shows me where I’m still at in my process – that I was not aware of how I moved myself according to feelings as consciousness energy, even when it feels so good – that is the point of these feelings is to control and direct one to do things from it, and as long as you participate in it, you are a slave and making a statement to yourself you accept being driven by consciousness as energy experience of emotions and feelings

When or while I see myself be moved or want to move to kiss someone based on feelings of love, I stop and I breathe. I realize I am making a statement to myself and Life that I would still be a slave to energy as consciousness (and not my own decison and awareness) if I give in and move myself to do this- that I still accept and allow myself to be driven by energy as consciousness of feelings and emotions if I continue to move/exist in a state or mind possession of energy like “love”. From this, I commit myself to STOP participating in the energy experience of love the moment I see myself exist/experience it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the emotion/polarity experience of love is fear and be moved by that

When and as I see myself exist in the enegertic experience of love, I stop and I breathe. I realize I am participating in energy as consciousness of emotions and feelings and am now on the feeling side of the polarity…so I commit myself to stop, and use directiveness to move me as awareness of what I should do and who to be in this moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved by the energetic consciousness of polarity of LOVE- which is (positive) feelings

I commit myself to remind me (when/while I’m in/experiencing feelings of love) “oops I’m going into positive feelings now, which is part of consciousness energy and polarity. I will myself to not move from this but question where is this experience coming from?” And move me to source it and change by identifying what needs to be changed in the moment (ie: identifying the words/expressions of Love and becoming the words I have separated myself from, or simply breathing until the energy dissapates)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to act on the feeling of love, as consciousness energy because it “feels so good,” Not realizing if I give into the feeling and allow myself to be possessed/taken over by this emotional experience, I am allowing myself to drop/weaken me and my stand in the face of feelings, like love and be directed/moved by it.

I see that there is a “weakness” in me of moving and allowing me to be directed by/thru positive energy, simply showing that I have (created) a relationship with positive feelings where I seek to live/experience them or be/want to move myself in them that require to be understood, directed and changed

I commit myself to become more aware of who I am in the face of positive feelings and experiences since I realize I have created a relationship to them, and from this awareness, practice stopping and standing in/as a point of authority by not moving with or in positive experiences, and not seeking to gain positive experiences, but simply be with me here, in breath with my body

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize if I am experiencing, being directed and/or moved by consciousness energy of feelings (like love) I am existing in polarity of consciousness and need to get myself out of that state otherwise I am trapping myself in the polarity construct of emotions and feelings

When I see myself be moved or possessed in the feeling-experience of love, I stop and I breathe. I realize this feeling is from polarity of energy as consciousness which means it’s opposite is fear and so I commit myself to stop my participation and allowance of being driven in consciousness as energy states of mind/being, to breathe through the feelings to stabilize/ground myself, and instead use the energies as cross reference of where I’m at and what words or underlying points I still need to work on

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize behind the energetic consciousness of feelings towards X are simply WORDS I separated from myself that X represents and triggers for me, thus-

I commit myself to identify the words as expressions I separated myself from and find how use them in me and my life through the redefining and living process presented through SOUL

 

Additional Resources:

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships