290. Who or What Stood Out to You Today?

alex-harvey-34864From the Desteni forum post, a question was asked: If you look at your day today, have you noticed anything new / different about something or someone in your life? Did something / someone stand out to you? Were you in any way inspired today?

Today I was inspired by my co-worker. She had for quite some time seen herself as less-than others, and said to me she is not a good leader. Today she said in front of all of us that the director, who has been absent in answering our emails for quite some time, cancelled out on meetings, and paid little attention to us over the years is too busy for us, and so we are going to do the work ourselves in a way we like it, that works best for us. 

This was cool because she was very honest about our situation and like me, realized we can no longer depend on our director to direct and guide us – because the director has shown through their actions they are not effective for us, so we have to work together and guide ourselves.

We have been struggling the past year and it was cool that today this person, who is our manager, threw in the towel and said in a way ”fuck it, we’re doing his job our own way,” lol. From this it gave me more of a sense of freedom that now we have more power, control and ability to create a work space that accommodates everyone involved, and if the director has a problem with it, we can very clearly show, prove and state why we had to do this.


Recommended Resources:

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

285. A Personal Note on ”The Maker of Matter’

full_the-maker-of-matter-reptilians-part-562Essential real substantial change happens in the every day life moments. Otherwise we build and create more problems for ourselves because we are afraid of taking 100% responsibility for ourselves.

After listening to the Reptilians interview called Maker of Matter, I realize I am the Maker, I make and decide to live out/experience/act on my thoughts, insecurities without doing anything about it but allow myself to continue dragging through points without actually taking them on due to me personally wanting to keep me in a self-victimized helpless state. If I keep myself in that state it is as though I don’t have to take responsibility cause I am “so helpless! I’m in such a victimized state! Oh I have to do this and that! Oh no! Look at how shitty my life turned out to be…look at how these people and these situations/things left me in the state I am!” It’s not real and just an avoidance to taking full responsibility of who I am in realizing I have allowed events to unfold as is and I have created myself and my process as is up to this point because of acting/re-acting in a state of helplessness, self-victimization, “it’s not my fault! They did this to me!!” It’s bullshit really lol.

So realizing and identifying these two aspects in me of experiencing helplessness and self-victimization and the belief that I am not responsible nor capable enough to take responsibility for myself is just an excuse, an avoidance mechanism to not walk outside of the box and change, in my every day moments. Cool I flagged these two points – victimization and helplessness cause now I can see these are my “downfalls” and “weaknesses” that actually when they come up I can then move me to empower myself to learn more about who I am in these points and find the solution to change.


Additional Support

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

284. Adjust / Adjusting in the Moment

chalis007-189517I had made plans and envisioned doing some cleaning in a particular area of work and I calculated I could get all the cleaning and organizing done right in time for me to go home but then my coworker came through and said for me to do another job and then do the planned cleaning job later. So in me I had felt/faced like a rattle/shake in me of “what?! I cant…I had already planned this and that and it’s going to go perfectly cause then I’ll be done at 2:00!” LOL perfect opportunity for me to face my programming and to look and live the word ADJUST because it was exactly what I had to do — I had to say yes, give in and do the job asked of me, but then later down the line actually found a better solution for me to get my original job done and get out of work in time!

So here I will be walking the word ADJUST – specifically in relation to moments I plan and expect something to happen or manifest according to me but then something in my reality changes and so I must ADJUST me as a shift to move on to something new and unexpected, trusting me I will do and be my self honest best in the moment.

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist having to move and shift from my plans because that moment that challenged my programming of staying in the box / my comfort zone. I realize planning is cool but not make it an absolute – be open to flexibility and accept the possibility the plans may change without my control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist adjusting myself, my mind and my body to be flexible or something completely different that is asked or opens up for me in the moment due to me already making the decision “this is what I’m going to do, exactly and precisely and absolutely” creating and imprinting me into a rigid self that prevents me from opening up and expanding myself in flexibility

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be open to the probabilities, potentialities and possibilities that things I plan may not go entirely according to plan, and that’s ok – as I realize that this is LIFE – SHIT HAPPENS, LIFE HAPPENS, and you got to move, adjust, change. I realize life is not stagnant nor rigid – it is always moving, expanding and growing and is not limited to a set structure and stays like that. We would most likely be sitting still the rest of our existence if that were so lol so I realize the necessity of being open, flexible and expansive in my life / process

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “not want to” adjust/move/change when I am asked to do so or the oppurtunity presents itself because that moment/opportunity challenges me and my programming and pushes me out of my comfort zone.  I realize getting out of our comfort zones is a form of support and growth for us to step out of being directed by our mind to directing ourselves in principle of what is best for self/all

Self-Commitment Statements:

I commit myself to be open to flexibility and possibilities of change in my plans

I commit myself to stop being so rigid with my planning and instead be/live/expect FLEXIBILITY and things may just happen in my life I have not expected 

When and as someone or something asks me to do something or join them in with something and I react in rigidness/don’t want to – I stop and I breathe. I realize rigidness keeps me locked in my minds programming and thus I commit to expand and push me out of my programming/comfort zones by assessing if I self honestly can move/adjust me in the moment with what is required/requested of me.

Additional Support

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

275. Too Much Work / Little Play Time & Solutions

e9b0jn25rro-toa-heftibaI tend to become very stressed on Saturday mornings. E-mails have piled up, there are tasks that have been pushed to the weekend to be completed. What then happens is that I react in resistance because I don’t want to do these ”things” that I define as ”work” and I don’t want to do ”work” on a weekend morning –  I want to relax. Within this are excuses that I don’t get time off during the week to relax – that what I do during my week is not fun so thus, I should spend my weekend doing fun things, though when work piles up for the weekend, then I get stressed and react.

All the while what happens is that I missed out on realizing that I created a relationship towards doing things I like and don’t like and when I think I haven’t spend any or much time doing things I like, then I react and resist doing more things I don’t like. It’s really a stressful, limiting game I do unto myself, and it’s time to stop.

The solutions I see are as follows:

1) I require to assess my relationship to everything I do/must do in my life, understand the importance/necessity of each point (ie: why I am doing this), decide on what type of relationship I would like to create for each thing/task and who I am going to be within each thing/task I do.  Then look at outflows/consequences of putting off these responsibilities/tasks and what is a better way to get everything done so I am satisfied. Then I walk SF on that which I react to, to discover realizations, more solutions and free myself of limitation.

2) Write out what I would like to create, explore, do that I enjoy and then see how I can fit these into my daily/weekly life, so there is space for me to engage in self-creativity and enjoyment (ie: hobbies to develop, books, movies to watch, new recipes).

3) List out commitments I made to myself / others, and assess why I committed to them, and if I can still honor these commitments, or if I need to re-align / adjust them, making sure I am being clear with me – yes / no I can commit to it or not for real

From assessing all the points that I participate in my daily life, I then see how I can practically fit into my daily/weekly schedule. I will test this point out and report next week!

Self-Forgiveness on Experiencing Overwhelmingness on Weekend Mornings:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the experience of overwhelmingness and stress when I go into my mind and think of  all the things I need to do today/this weekend morning, and within that react within the thought that I can’t handle this all, that it is ”too much,” and within that go into a giving up and not wanting to do the things I saw in my mind, yet become conflicted because I know I have to do them.

Within this I realize I made tasks to do on a weekend morning emotional, due to me having a created a relationship that I shouldn’t do ”too much work” or things I don’t like doing on a weekend since during the week I have to do things I ”don’t want to do,” instead of realizing I created a polarity relationship and idea I must follow, where things I don’t like to do are existent/done during the weekday, and then doing things I like to do on weekends.Then when things I didn’t want or like to do on the weekday got thrown/pushed to the weekend, that’s when I react because I see I need to attend these points but I don’t want to, because that should not be done on weekends! Then I go into emotion and temper tantrums about it.

I commit myself to assess my relationship to each task and point I do, must do and complete during my week (including weekends) and through determining the relationship I created to each task/point of work I see if this relationship is best for me, and if not I move me into creating a stable/better relationship with the point/task, so that no matter what day it falls on, or what I need to do with it, I am stable and clear on my relationship with it

I commit myself to become more aware of me as the mind throwing up tantrums when I am overwhelmed/stressed/angry, to instead insert the living word STABILITY, and go back and see for myself what I need to re-asses, re-adjust and re-align in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I am the sole creator of my experiences on weekend mornings, that my anger, stress and overwhelmingness is completely due to what I have accepted and allowed in my reality, life and environment

When and as I see myself become overwhelmed/angry/stressed on weekends, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I had fallen into a relationship construct I created towards weekends and how/who I am suppose to be and do on weekends, instead of practically assessing what needs to get done within stability (and no emotion present) as I have created the consequences of my reactions, that I am like this because of something I had not clarified in my relationship with work/life. So within this, I realize I am 100% responsible for creating my in this situation, because I had not yet considered how I would like to create my life and how I am going to include all the commitments/points Iín my life in a way where I am satisfied/stable within what I do.

I commit myself to sit down with me and assess how I want to create me and my life, within stability, including all the tasks/commitments/work obligations I must perform/do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist and perpetuate a state of stress and overwhelmingness on weekend mornings – and from this what lays behind it is an anger – anger towards myself for not having a clear, comfortable and directive relationship and understanding within everything I do and being ok with what I need to do in the moment.

Within this I realize that all that is required is for me to stand back and assess who I am with each task and point I do, and to direct myself accordingly to what I see is necessary for me to live me in ease with what I do in my daily/weekly life

I commit myself to highlight the important points/obligations/commitments needed to get done and/or that which I committed to get done for myself, to understand what is needed in my life, and sort out where and when I will attend to these points and the consequences if I don’t so I am prepared on what to expect

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create relationships towards things/tasks based on what I like and what I don’t like – creating an emotional relationship to each side of the coin/polarity instead of creating relationships to tasks/things within stability and awareness of the necessity, common sense and benefit of them

I realize that which I may not ”like” is needed to be worked on and done because it will support me in this life (such as keeping my home clean, for example – this will support in having a good home environment for self and the body).

I commit myself to forgive any/all reactions I created towards tasks/points in my life that I have created negative relationships to, and move/create the relationships into me being stable with each one of them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into anger – being angry at myself for pushing work to the weekend because I existed in the idea/belief that there should be no work on the weekends, and since there is, I go into reaction/emotion instead of a REFLECTION of how I created me to be this way

I realize I had never given myself the chance to reflect on how I created this emotional relationship to work on the weekends, and being stressed on the weekends and how there are ideas that weekends need to have no work, that I have all this free time to just have fun, instead of finding a work-play balance and keeping my relationship to work/tasks as stable as possible. I also realize the importance of maintaining stability within the tasks I do and to not give into the ups and downs/the sways of emotions and feelings, this that will screw with my work performance and I will not perform optimally and to the best of my ability

I commit myself to stabilize and purify my relationship to WORK and the word WORK so it does not have any energetic charges or connections to it that will influence who I am, but that this word can thus then be defined within a practical, common sensical, non-emotional matter



Additional Resources:

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

257. A Kiss Driven by Love

photo-1444839368740-f0d3572f8067I found some writings on the experience of Love I’d like to share, where within the experience of love, one moves themselves to kiss someone:

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand I was being moved by consciousness energy of love, which is the polarity of fear

When and as I see myself be moved or want to move from / as the energetic experience of “love,” I stop and breathe. I realize I had been allowing myself to move me based on feelings as energetic experiences from consciousness, instead of moving me within awareness and a decision of kissing the person.

So I commit to STOP me from moving through/as/within consciousness energy of love, take a step back, breathe and assess what would be best for me now as a living being not defined/moved by consciousness. I can redefine and live the word “Directive” – directing me towards what I see best.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that being moved to kiss someone out of feelings of “love” shows me where I’m still at in my process – that I was not aware of how I moved myself according to feelings as consciousness energy, even when it feels so good – that is the point of these feelings is to control and direct one to do things from it, and as long as you participate in it, you are a slave and making a statement to yourself you accept being driven by consciousness as energy experience of emotions and feelings

When or while I see myself be moved or want to move to kiss someone based on feelings of love, I stop and I breathe. I realize I am making a statement to myself and Life that I would still be a slave to energy as consciousness (and not my own decison and awareness) if I give in and move myself to do this- that I still accept and allow myself to be driven by energy as consciousness of feelings and emotions if I continue to move/exist in a state or mind possession of energy like “love”. From this, I commit myself to STOP participating in the energy experience of love the moment I see myself exist/experience it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the emotion/polarity experience of love is fear and be moved by that

When and as I see myself exist in the enegertic experience of love, I stop and I breathe. I realize I am participating in energy as consciousness of emotions and feelings and am now on the feeling side of the polarity…so I commit myself to stop, and use directiveness to move me as awareness of what I should do and who to be in this moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved by the energetic consciousness of polarity of LOVE- which is (positive) feelings

I commit myself to remind me (when/while I’m in/experiencing feelings of love) “oops I’m going into positive feelings now, which is part of consciousness energy and polarity. I will myself to not move from this but question where is this experience coming from?” And move me to source it and change by identifying what needs to be changed in the moment (ie: identifying the words/expressions of Love and becoming the words I have separated myself from, or simply breathing until the energy dissapates)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to act on the feeling of love, as consciousness energy because it “feels so good,” Not realizing if I give into the feeling and allow myself to be possessed/taken over by this emotional experience, I am allowing myself to drop/weaken me and my stand in the face of feelings, like love and be directed/moved by it.

I see that there is a “weakness” in me of moving and allowing me to be directed by/thru positive energy, simply showing that I have (created) a relationship with positive feelings where I seek to live/experience them or be/want to move myself in them that require to be understood, directed and changed

I commit myself to become more aware of who I am in the face of positive feelings and experiences since I realize I have created a relationship to them, and from this awareness, practice stopping and standing in/as a point of authority by not moving with or in positive experiences, and not seeking to gain positive experiences, but simply be with me here, in breath with my body

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize if I am experiencing, being directed and/or moved by consciousness energy of feelings (like love) I am existing in polarity of consciousness and need to get myself out of that state otherwise I am trapping myself in the polarity construct of emotions and feelings

When I see myself be moved or possessed in the feeling-experience of love, I stop and I breathe. I realize this feeling is from polarity of energy as consciousness which means it’s opposite is fear and so I commit myself to stop my participation and allowance of being driven in consciousness as energy states of mind/being, to breathe through the feelings to stabilize/ground myself, and instead use the energies as cross reference of where I’m at and what words or underlying points I still need to work on

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize behind the energetic consciousness of feelings towards X are simply WORDS I separated from myself that X represents and triggers for me, thus-

I commit myself to identify the words as expressions I separated myself from and find how use them in me and my life through the redefining and living process presented through SOUL


Additional Resources:

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships