256. Men – Part 1

photo-1454625191319-786c05137ef5I was flipping through a yearbook and saw photo of a male classmate who use to be very nice to me. I had a movement in me, opened it up through Self-Forgiveness, and wanted to explore it deeper here… 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortable towards men/males being nice to me, since I am suspicious that they really do not mean to be so, genuinely

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the belief and idea that most to all men are really not nice, genuinely, and that they are really mean

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify that men/males really are just mean by using examples of my past, and memories of when I perceived males to be mean/not so nice, either to me or to people in general

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear men, especially men who are nice to me because I don’t believe them to be really nice, and that they either have hidden intentions (which is why they are nice) or that they are not really nice but putting on a face

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to not believe in one man’s ”nice’expression/could not believe one man to suddenly be nice to me after not seeing him for a long time, because he had for the majority of my life, been ”mean”/not nice to me, to the point of bullying, from which I can see I haven’t forgiven yet

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how I have been holding onto memories of situations and interactions with men/certain men in the past, who have treated me (in what I perceive) as unkindly, and not nice and used those interactions to support and justification the idea/belief all men are really not nice or mean, due to what I’ve experienced with them in the past, carrying these beliefs with me as a point of protection from feeling/getting hurt by them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘hate’ men for being mean to women, instead of seeing how I have in a way am taking sides against them and separating myself from the

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give me and my self-worth/voice away to the fear I have towards males and what they may say or do to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear men call me fat, and/or ugly because if they call me these things I will believe them and take their words personally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more value to the words from a man, then from me and who/how I see myself, believe of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and find myself inferior and not good enough for men, instead of questioning where and when did I allow myself to give my self-worth to them? since I realize that I have given my power and my self-worth to men and their words and judgements towards me and women

I commit myself to investigate when and where did it begin where I shifted my self-worth to the words and actions of men, and why, so I can forgive each point of self-seperation and align myself back into self-acceptance and self-worth

I commit myself to purify my relationship to the words ”fat” and ”ugly” so if IF I am called those words, I know my relationship to them and do not take words personally, but know where to stand with myself with/from those words

I commit myself to forgive and release the attachments I have defined myself towards my own memories towards men while creating my new relationship with who I am and where I stand with men, and their words/behaviors towards me

248. Self Worth & Celebrities

7FMZC77KOOI faced a situation where I met someone I define as a celebrity. This individual has several thousand fans on their social media and they travel all over the world. This person actually came up and talked to me, and there were movements in me where I questioned why this person is talking to me, doubting myself and my self worth. I breathed and pushed through the self-doubts/reactions to talk and express me with this person, but it was difficult. As much as I tried my best, I saw the need to bring this point into writing for understanding and self-correction, because I know I will meet such people again, and I want to be stable and comfortable to express myself.

Self-Forgiveness & Self-Corrective/Commitment Statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel extremely uncomfortable in my body when talking to M through reacting to the thought ”how come she is talking to me? What is she doing?” within the nature of self-worthlessness and inferiority

I commit myself to embrace each person that comes into contact with me, allowing myself to engage in the conversation/interaction within self-expression as me, letting go of any thoughts/concerns/reactions through a breath and forgiveness in the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare me/my self worth to M by comparing the success she has with her hobby/career and the success I have in my life and job and judge who is better/more successful through the FOLLOWERS one has on social media, by seeing them as a celebrity, and thus seeing myself less than/inferior/not as good enough as them

From this, I commit myself to redefine the word celebrity, to release the connections and emotions and feelings I have towards the word because I have greatly polarized the word within me and allow myself to be influenced/directed by it

I also realize that M works in A SEPARATE BUSINESS/VENTURE THAN ME, so we work in different professions that require different skills and executions with our jobs, so there is no point to even compare our successes since a school job’s success is different than a social media job’s success. Also, it does not make sense to compare my self worth to success in one’s job/career, since the living word of Self-Worth has NOTHING TO DO WITH CAREER AND SYSTEM SUCCESS, but I have connected it as such!

I commit myself to redefine the word Self-Worth, clearing attachments the word has to success in the system and redefining it so I live self-worth within me and my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become excited when I see someone I define as a ”celebrity” as if they are someone ”special” separate from me, not realizing how I allowed myself to see and define them as ”special”/more than me in which I then perceived/saw me as not good enough/unworthy to be talked to

When and as I see myself become excited when I see/encounter a celebrity, I stop and I breathe. I realize and remind myself they are equal to me and that I have allowed society’s value of such people being more special than me to influence me, thus I now commit myself to take a breath, acknowledge their presence, say ”cool” to myself I am with them and not allow me and my self worth to be affected by their presence through self-direction of any movements in me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am not good enough in the face of a celebrity, and that a celebrity/person who has many fans/followers should not talk to me because I am not equal to them in their success. I realize that celebrities who have millions of followers have that because of the career they are in/chose to be, that the industry is set up to allow them to have that type of fame, and does not define them as more or less of an individual in comparison to all other humans on this planet. So even if I had a million followers it doesn’t realistically make me any more or less than any other individual on this planet. Being a celebrity has it’s own construct/way of existing, and is different than other jobs in this world.

I commit myself to stay grounded when in the presence of celebrities, realizing their career is set up/constructed so that they do gain many followers and fans in order for the entertainment industry to continue thriving

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that since I am ”not a celebrity”- a person with a large following/many fans, then I am not worthy to talk to or be in the presence of them, instead of realizing how I am not acknowledging my own equality and self-worth when in the presence of these people because in all honesty and reality these people are people, just like me, I am equal to them, it’s just that we as citizens of the world allowed these people to be given added value to look/be perceived they are MORE than us

I commit myself to live the word ”equality,” when I am with celebrities/people with a large amount of followers/fans, as a reminder of standing equal to them, not allowing myself to fall within self-inferiority/worthlessness

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the extent to which society/general world system places special value on celebrities, where then we as people make perceive them as godly, unreal, not of this world as a method of distraction from us to not see, realize and understand our own equality and worth and how we are being fooled by the entertainment industry, all in the name of profit/cooperation gaining money. I realize that if more people see that celebrities are just people, the entertainment industry would be threatened

I commit myself to bring forth common sense and awareness to those who see/deem celebrities as better than them/separate from them, and share the realization that we are equal to them but the industry does not want us to see that or else their system will be threatened

So how does this relate to my personal life, when I come into contact with people who I see as ”celebrities?” First of all, I need to accept my equality to them — that I am equal to them, that they are just like me — they have thoughts, emotions, personal problems and have bodily functions like us. I also need to gain a better understanding of who I am with the word celebrity, and align my self-worth to life.

I will continue more on who I am with celebrities in the next post. Thanks for reading!

 

Additional Support:

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

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DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships