The Reality of Being Unconditional – 307

steve-halama-401099-unsplash

Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash

In the Desteni community, a question was asked: How do you understand or see the word ‘unconditional’? Do you live this word? If so, How?

For me, being unconditional is like a god who loves you no matter who you are or what you do. They take you in and accept you completely.

I see this similarly to the physical EARTH – the physical takes us in and allows us as beings to exist and live on this Earth. Yet we are like blinded rats who harm the Earth and not take it into consideration the kind of pollution and destruction we cause onto it.

My physical BODY for example has dealt through a lot of binge eating and emotional reactions – some that would develop into panic attacks. Yet my body has not removed me or thrown me out or something lol. It still allows me to breathe and be here…

I also know the body does have its point where it will start showing signs of disease/problems/cancer over time as it cannot sustain itself and needs additional support. From what I read through Desteni – cancer for example is a result when the body turns against the being/the person occupying it because of the years of abuse the being placed on it.

Looking at this, it’s strange we see and interact with our body like it’s a stranger. Our lack of awareness of what’s really going on inside and the body’s limit does show how separate we really are from our physical and this physical existence.

For me it’s similar to a mother who birthed a child but then later down the line they no longer see the child as a part of them and abuses them without any care or consideration. This I believe we do unto our bodies; with the amount of harmful emotions, eating habits, physical harm etc we place on ourselves but our bodies are innocent and unconditional in allowing us to be in their vessel for us to live. We forget we are A PART OF OUR BODIES.

I say it’s time we start shifting our awareness to focus more on ourselves and the relationship we have with our bodies. Treating the body as a companion for life – as it realistically is – a body that carries us through life.

What I am doing is developing an awareness of how I talk and treat myself and finding ways on how to shift my self-treatment to self support. Much of my movement of this comes from what I am learning from Mind Body Innerverse and the Desteni Community I’m involved in. I could not be doing this if it weren’t for them!!

 

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

300. Being in My Original Home & Culture – Part 3, Being an Equal Participant in Conversations

priscilla-du-preez-234138Something I noticed while being with friends and family on my trip, is that people do SEE me – and may be able to see parts of me I’m not yet aware of, so I’ve been pushing to become more aware of myself around others, and question who I am with them.

This realization came forth after having a friend reveal to me she was concerned about my weight loss the months before I moved but was too afraid to say anything. Then another friend was happy I quit my job because she saw how unhappy I was but wasn’t sure if she should say anything. So there I saw that people are aware of things I may not want them to be aware of or see, but it’s there in reality. People do probably see more of me than I may realize but don’t say anything…

So – just the other day I realized I have a tendency to kind of sit back and let people talk, and just be there to agree with them, or nod or make short comments without much conversing / engaging myself. I sort of place myself in the back seat in conversations with people, as if I’m not as important as them.

I notice this behavior when my cousin was talking the majority of the time and having my mom sit next to me acting in the same manner, I saw I took this point on from / through her. In that moment I decided I didn’t want to be like that – I wanted to show my cousin I was also an equal participant in the conversation, because if I share and add onto the conversation I am also showing another I am interested and here with them. This I would also like for myself – to have someone equally engaging / talking / being here with me in a conversation.

So I’ve been practicing the words share and engage – where I try to find windows of opportunities in conversation that I relate to / connect with, and share who I am with it, or a story or something – that way I am making my presence known and being with the people in the conversation…showing them ”hey I’m here with you guys, also sharing!!”

My cousin for example was talking about the type of beef we were eating, and I added in how my partner was just today asking where to get such beef in the city, and then the conversation continued and more people joined in. So it was cool to get the ball rolling and people sharing and adding their input / perspectives and not just keeping it at a standstill.

It’s been an interesting process so far because: before speaking / sharing I have to push through some initial shyness and resistance, but I push because I want to prove to myself I CAN engage in a conversation, I CAN be here with others, and make my presence known – showing people I am with them in the convo, being an equal participant, and enjoying myself in it.

 

Recommended Resources:

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – extraordinary material

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

299. Being in My Original Home & Culture – Part 2, Being with Reality.

jon-flobrant-230583I am very thankful for reality for showing me the self-deception I had given into – I gave into these false beliefs and ideas that being back at my original home for vacation (and having parents who provide me free shelter, food, some money and a car to basically go whatever I want) would mean that everything will be all-right and smooth sailing.

I say I’m grateful for reality giving me its reality check because it humbled me to realize that yes – even despite having a ‘break’ from my normal life and its responsibilities, I still have THIS life / MY life to be aware of and take care of … I’ll give an example:

Today I was to meet friends for breakfast in a city an hour from my home. I made sure to give me enough time to drive there and find parking. I realized the car I was driving needed gas to get me to the destination. This was a reality check – something real that needed to be done.

In fantasy/desire in my mind I did not want to put gas in my car – I wanted to just ‘go for it’ / risk it and see ‘along the way’ if I needed gas – but I soon realized I’ve done this before – where a few years ago I became quite sloppy in my responsibility to my car and would drive a long time to get to a destination, and would find I would get to a point of being dangerously low on fuel where it was not guaranteed I would make it to the gas station in time.

So I faced that moment again today – where my desires of just wanting to start driving and worry about putting gas in the car later came up, and I said no – I’m not going to risk it – I’m going to play it safe and get my shit together and put gas in that car, even despite it feeling like it was an additional ”burden”.

BUT: Is putting gas in the car REALLY a BURDEN? According to the dictionary a burden is a ”heavy load.” Putting gas in your car is a NATURAL RESPONSIBILITY – naturally you must take care of the car if YOU USE IT, and so – fill it up with the fuel when it’s needed otherwise it will not function FOR YOU.

So it’s like: If you can’t handle the natural simple responsibility of taking care of your car, you should not drive one.

I had to face a choice of taking care of myself and the car: I filled up the car with gas, and then I had to drive very carefully and slowly because the weather hit the road quite harshly – lots of rain, wind, some ice.

A part of me fiercely came up, like fighting with reality – I did not WANT to slow down, I wanted to get to my destination in how I wanted to. Boy, it was a very immature selfish part of me rearing it’s head saying shit like ”I want it my way, fuck you weather.” I was basically fighting with the LAWS of NATURE and RULES OF THE ROAD – what was HERE.

Then I realized I haven’t yet equalized myself to the rules of the road – there is the tendency to try and rebel and do things ‘my way’ on the road, but I would end up getting in trouble (close to accidents, risking relationships/lives with other drivers).

So then my friend’s partner came up in me – he is very physical and good with driving/being on the road. I remembered how I enjoyed his presence in the car, his confidence and carefulness of the road, so I ‘liked that’ and decided to be/emerge as that – tapping into the words he represented to me (careful, mature, physical, aware) and I was able to slow down on the road, being more focused and attentive to my safety and the safety of the car. Doing this worked, — where the process of driving made me feel more confident, mature and comfortable.

So with driving, I am going to become what I liked in another – physically aware of myself and the car on the road, being careful and attentive to the laws/ways of driving, keeping me and my car’s safety in check top priority.

 

Recommended Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

296. Redefining & Living the word NURTURE

guilherme-stecanella-370459The way that I start redefining a word is using my voice: I first make sure I have no expectations or ideas of what the new definition of the word will be and then sound the word – I speak the word out-loud as is and then use my body to see what the word says to me.

For example with the word nurture: When I spoke it out-loud I could feel how me and my body experienced the word – it is like a falling back into something comforting that is always there — as if you were to fall back and something will always catch you – that kind of support. I then looked where in my world is something like that and found Self-Forgiveness is like that – it is an eternal tool of support that will always be there, and that I can use it whenever I feel scared or down or upset or chaotic or uncertain in myself.

So then I basically redefined Nurture as the self-forgiveness principle – a tool / placement of support always there to be utilized when I need strength / guidance / support. Then how I started living it was – when I would feel chaotic / overwhelmed in myself, I would apply Self-Forgiveness that would support me in gaining self-strength / guidance / realization. Then interestingly enough I got the flu that week when I applied the word. It seemed like Life was testing me with what nurture is in physical reality 🙂 

So this sounding of the word application is what I do now with other words I want to redefine and live. So far I redefined the words Writing, Patience, and Resistance  – and each one is very unique and unlike anything I ever expected.

I feel like now I’m finally getting the process of redefining and living words. Before I really struggled with it, but then allowed myself to try other ways and means to see how I can practically live and understand it. So far the sounding-way seems to be working, and I keep a physical notebook with me where I document the new words and how I’m going to practically live it in my life. This allows me to go back and adjust/tweak the words and my living as needed.

Please check out the material on SOUL for more explanations and guidance on how to redefine and live WORDS.

 

Recommended Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

264. From Reacting in Relationships to Taking Responsibility

taking-responsibility-in-relationshipsI see the importance of self-agreement in relationships, because if you are not taking responsibility of stuff coming up in you, that is going to influence who you are in the relationship. And for example, if you allow little moments of backchat or judgements about your partner to slip by without direction, this is going to eventually accumulate into you becoming emotional over something ”seemingly small,” that will create a large conflict or argument that could have been prevented if you took responsibility of your part within it all.

I learned this the hard way by observing how me and my partner’s largest conflicts would happen on the weekend, when we are not at work and spending a lot of time together. We questioned why this is so – why can’t we enjoy the weekend together, and it makes sense to reason that: during the week, when we get home from work, we allow emotional reactions and experiences towards each other and the environment we are living in to come up and we don’t direct or do anything about it. When we don’t do anything about them, it’s the weekend and we’re with each other for long periods of time, the reactions accumulate to such an extent that they have to be released, so a big fight is created/manifested so a release can happen, but it’s not a ”good” release – cause emotional mind shit can come up – creating more problems, using up a lot of time and energy from individuals to go through. This could have been prevented if both people simply took responsibility of what came up in them over time.

Take for example a situation where I saw my partner reacted to something I said. I wanted to speak up and share my perspective of where I was coming from, to see if that could clear the air / make him understand more, but I allowed a specific memory of me speaking up to my partner and it not going well to influence me to NOT to speak up and share myself.

So I locked myself in this past memory experience, succumbed into insecurity, and didn’t speak up/share myself because I assumed my partner was going to be/act in the same way as before and that I was going to go into insecurity. So I projected the past onto the present. Since I held onto the past and justified that this present moment is going to be the same as it was in the past, I also locked/enslaved my partner in the present moment by believing who he is now is just who he was in the past, ”even if I speak up – he will not change, or hear me,” thus perpetuating my idea I have of him from that past memory onto the present moment, which could have been a NEW moment, a NEW chance to see what is possible if I allowed myself to simply take responsibility of who I was in the memory and move myself forward from that. 

So I wanted to share this to show to everyone how important it is to create and stick to a self-agreement with yourself – an agreement you make with yourself that you will do your best to take responsibility of every thought, emotional reaction/feeling, backchat, justification, memory, internal conversation that comes up within you toward your partner (and also everything else in general, but specially right now it’s about your partner) and forgive yourself of this point, and decide/commit on a correction and/or living word you will from now on live/do from that point on. This is what I am practicing/walking myself, to be more diligent with because I know what happens when I don’t take responsibility and its not pretty – the consequences only lead to seperation and destruction in a relationship – so I’d rather follow through with my self-agreement of taking responsibility for any shit I exist in my relationship with my partner, to learn and grow from that, so that I can enjoy me and be me with them.

Supportive Recordings:

Relationship Reactions

Reaction Dimension

Fighting Over Spilt Milk

Additional Resources:

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships

 

 

 

262. Nix Competition & Create Together

 

A photo by Gonzalo Arnaiz. unsplash.com/photos/Nd63Kscv2XIContinuing from: Walking through Competition

There is NO EQUALITY existent in competition. No rival teams or companies wants to come together, because if they do, there is no winner, no one can be better than another, there is no energy to fuel… and the ego doesn’t like that! The ego wants to be number one, at the top. It wants to feel good, to win. To win/be at the top is comforting cause then you know your survival is set, but its not guaranteed for the rest of your life – you always have to keep an eye on the competition to make sure you don’t get bumped off the throne. So you have to be vigilant. Geez, who wants to live that way for the rest of their lives? Living in such a way of being on guard and ready to attack/fight is a waste of energy that could have been put into something more productive and considerate for the world.

What’s the point to be number one if what you miss is equality and working together with others in creating a better product/system/organisation that supports all? 

It’s not easy to drop the ego…to drop the desire/want to win and be at the top. But it’s funny cause you really can’t be guaranteed to stay at the top, so the whole process of wanting and striving to get to the top is an ILLUSION because you spend your time and energy getting to this ”top” that isn’t really real nor a guarantee since you are fighting with others, to either gain the most money, fame or status, and yet even if you were at the top, you can’t be comfortable there, because as life shows, there will be something better, more creative and unique that will step in the way and take over your position eventually. That is the game of life currently – you can’t win, even if you think you won, you really didn’t. So really got to ask yourself, where are you going with this game and are you walking towards creating a world best for yourself and all, or are you continuing in the creation of a world of seperation, fighting, wars, and hate?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically want to take down, belittle, make fun of, reject, and talk shit about X because I see them as my competitor and want to do whatever I can to prevent them from succeeding me.  I realize if I act on this automatic desire/behaviors, I fuel the existence of seperation, hate and fear of survival.

When and as I see myself want to talk shit, belittle, talk down, reject anything I see is my competitor/having similar nature of my company/product/etc, I stop and I breathe. I realize if I act upon these things I will create the very existence I want to stop and change (ie: abuse, hate, war and conflict) therefore I commit to shift my focus and attention away from pre-programming bashing, hating, putting down – because that’s obviously led us to no where good and onto myself and thus shift who I am within/towards competition to direct me in purifying my relationship with competiton

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear X taking my followers/customers all to themselves, thus leaving me bankrupt or empty with no fuel to keep my company/product/etc going. I see, realize and understand I fear losing my company/product/etc’s survival, because if I don’t keep it going, it will affect my survival of/as ego, status, power, or money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to already perceive any company/group/product similar in nature to my creation/product/company/etc to be and feel an automatic threat to my creation/product/company/etc’s existence, fearing actually for it’s loss/survival as survival is not absolutely guaranteed. So I see, realize and understand I fear my creation’s/product/company’s existence when I see competition or other products/companies/etc similar to mine cause I think that there can only be ONE GOOD one, a better/the best one

When and as I see myself fear X taking my followers/customers away from me, I stop and I breathe. I realize if I continue participating in this I am fueling even more fear and paranoia that will affect not only my relationship with X but also with others who work with me and my relationship with my own company/product/business, because if I exist in fear as the Mind Consciousness System, I am not here, grounded, stable, being here with me.

…to be continued

 

Additional Resources:

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships