The 4 Evils of Women – 326

One point I am actively working to be more aware of and change is who I am in relation to women. This is because for most of my life I have participated and been involved in situations with women that would end up keeping me in states of regret, spite, holding grudges, obsession, anger, etc.

Generally speaking, anything surrounding the topic of women and womanhood and being involved in women’s groups are weak points within me. Partly this is due to my past and also in my generational line both my mother and grandmother have had issues with women (the sins of the father quote is right on this one).

I’ve re-listened to the EQAFE recordings War of Women recently – specifically the last two which highlighted the ”4 Evils of Women” – which are: Comparison, Competition, Jealousy and Judgement.

Listen to the Recording: War of Women below ↓

full_war-of-women-death-research-part-1

It makes a lot of sense that these 4 words are what women participate in the most. What is always common is the putting down of oneself (through judgement) feeling threatened and wanting to one up someone (through competition), crumbling within self when comparing or seeing someone is better than you at something (comparison), and despising a person and possibly changing your behavior to hurt them/gossip about them because you want what they want (jealousy).

Now take all of that and put it in a group of women, and you got a shit storm. Even though women are more subtle and quiet in their actions, many of those ”evils” fuel on a constant basis and keep women in a state of self-abuse – unless you are within a group of women, like Destonians, who are actively working on themselves and standing as a support for oneself and another.

Yet, even Destonian women (like myself) are not perfect and fall at times. Like me, where despite learning A LOT and stopping participating as much as possible in Comparison, Competition, Jealousy and Judgement, it still comes up and seeps into my life.

I know the ill-effects participating in those words have on one’s wellbeing and mental state. It’s not pretty, and my theory is that a lot of it also comes from how one was raised and the relationship a women has or had with their mother. Mothers are usually our primary caregivers, and who we look up to. The mother is connected to the feminine expression and feminine qualities within us all.

My theory is that if the relationship with the mother is tainted because the mother is tainted: ie: she compares herself to other women, or judges her own daughter because of her own insecurities, etc, the daughter will also end up like her, broken, unless she has made a conscious choice to NOT be like that and actively works on herself to do so.

Otherwise, if you put broken, insecure women together, you can imagine the kind of abuse that can happen. Realities shows like the Kardashians and the Housewives of Orange Country are examples. Gossip, deceiving, and betrayal are outflows of participating in Comparison, Competition, Judgement and Jealousy within oneself and one’s world.

That’s why it’s so important to start a new revolution per sey, of women, where women really actively work on themselves and take leadership of understanding their emotions and their pain, guilt and trauma they’ve endured in the past, and do something constructive about it.

I do see a wave of self love, self care and support coming forth in social media, which is great and already a great first step. My suggestion, as the second step, is for us as women to start becoming more aware of our relationship with ourselves and how we are participating in the ”4 evils” so we can purify ourselves, re-define the words, and live a new life free of self-abuse.

 

Additional Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation of human consciousness/human nature

EQAFE.com – The Library of Existence – every question answered

Destonians – Chat with people from all over the world walking the Desteni process

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Desteni I Process – Life Skills & Self-Mastery Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

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266. Creating a Better Relationship – Doing the Dishes

photo-1478473495191-2d8dd1398896So my problem is I don’t like doing dishes and overall cleaning of the kitchen as a part of my job position’s responsibility.

I think it is too much – I get angry over it – I complain about it – and I find it unfair

When I wash the dishes, and put away the cutlery/silverware, wash the buckets, clean the blue bowls and sponges, putting the glass jugs in the washing machine, washing/cleaning the bowls from the school kitchen, sometimes even putting up chairs – I complain, I get angry, I don’t like it.

I understand I don’t like it, but it’s no excuse to go into the mind and to get interested in there, getting comfortable in there. That is when it becomes a problem – when I take a back seat in my mind and let the conscious thoughts and concerns swirl in my head. That is showing that I would rather enjoy and indulge in my mind, which is an illusionary reality that is only a distraction from what’s here, that also (through my allowance) take moments away from me, expressing me in the physical.

A resistance and personal unhappiness to washing dishes, and all the other specific kitchen work that was listed: I don’t like doing this, I don’t want to do this, why me, this is unfair… -internal conversations, preference, judgement, self-victimization, self-pity, helplessness, righteousness, anger

I don’t like doing this – preference, judgment, ungrateful

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in preference with my job – where I make a statement ‘’I don’t like doing this,’’ within personal preference instead of considering that this is what I signed up for when I knew of this job position, therefore there is no point to complain since it was my decision to take on the responsibilities of the job position. Therefore, I realize the importance of making peace with this job responsibility because it is solely for the assistant, unless another teacher wants to help/take over the responsibility.

I commit myself to make peace with my job responsibility, knowing and acknowledging full well that I DECIDED AND KNEW of what this responsibility entailed, AND that I originally WELCOMED the job responsibility because it was a break from the children and quiet. Therefore, my preference of whether I like it or not does not matter because what matters is the physical responsibility needed for the kitchen in the kindergarten. I simply remind myself this is what I accepted as a responsibility and I can make the best out of it – I can listen to a recording, or do SF, I can when and as I am cleaning, do something with and for me that will support me in my life’s journey.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my job responsibility of cleaning the kitchen negatively by saying ‘’I don’t like doing this,’’ instead of ‘’womening up’’ and seeing the job for what it is – a kitchen with lots of dirty dishes and cutlery that requires to be washed for tomorrow’s lunch – simply as that and that any form of complaining or judgement of I don’t want to do this is not excuses nor allowed

I commit myself to take my job responsibility seriously by stopping the judgment, and complaining and simply using the opportunity I have with the dishes, to be with me and walk through any consciousness-relationship points

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be grateful for the opportunity to gain more money for working in the kitchen and the additional responsibilities that come with it because I know that I have an elitist job, compared to jobs and conditions other people like me exist in around the world

I commit myself to live in humbleness with my job position- utilizing where I am and wht I can do to create me into a better person

I don’t want to do this – preference, judgement, snobby/better than, anger with justifications

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect anger to the thought I don’t want to do this, and within this use justifications like ‘’I am tired’’ and ‘’this is not fair’’ to validate this anger

I commit myself to not allow the thought I don’t want to do this and participate in anger. Instead, I stop, breathe and remind me that yes, maybe I dont want to do it now, but it needs to get done – so I decide when it needs to get done – but it needs to get done today/tonight. The word here is being ASSERTIVE with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify that I don’t want to do this by saying something like I am tired, or this is not fair, not realizing how shit that is compared to what NEEDS to be DONE in reality – which is to wash the dishes and cutlery, etc

I commit myself to challenge each justification and see the bullshit that they really are – such as ‘’I am tired’’ or ‘’this is not fair,’’

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how much of a snob I sound like when I say I don’t want to do this- it is as if I am better than doing that. I realize that doing dishes/cleaning the kitchen does not make one look better or worse but simply shows what needs to be done. I see in my words I make it seem like I am better than doing dishes – that doing dishes is LOWER than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and place belief that doing dishes in a school setting makes one look low in the system because workers in the school system do not get paid as much as the teachers and administrators, so in a way, yes lower in terms of paycheck/money gains, but not lower in equality as a being interconnected with all beings on this planet.

I commit myself to live humbleness doing dishes, washing them as me, being here with me and the dishes I wash, enjoying the water, the soap on my hands – staying present in enjoyment as much as possible

Additional Resources:

Journey to Life Blogs – Walking the 7 Year Journey to Life

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Relationship Course – Redefining Relationships