299. Being in My Original Home & Culture – Part 2, Being with Reality.

jon-flobrant-230583I am very thankful for reality for showing me the self-deception I had given into – I gave into these false beliefs and ideas that being back at my original home for vacation (and having parents who provide me free shelter, food, some money and a car to basically go whatever I want) would mean that everything will be all-right and smooth sailing.

I say I’m grateful for reality giving me its reality check because it humbled me to realize that yes – even despite having a ‘break’ from my normal life and its responsibilities, I still have THIS life / MY life to be aware of and take care of … I’ll give an example:

Today I was to meet friends for breakfast in a city an hour from my home. I made sure to give me enough time to drive there and find parking. I realized the car I was driving needed gas to get me to the destination. This was a reality check – something real that needed to be done.

In fantasy/desire in my mind I did not want to put gas in my car – I wanted to just ‘go for it’ / risk it and see ‘along the way’ if I needed gas – but I soon realized I’ve done this before – where a few years ago I became quite sloppy in my responsibility to my car and would drive a long time to get to a destination, and would find I would get to a point of being dangerously low on fuel where it was not guaranteed I would make it to the gas station in time.

So I faced that moment again today – where my desires of just wanting to start driving and worry about putting gas in the car later came up, and I said no – I’m not going to risk it – I’m going to play it safe and get my shit together and put gas in that car, even despite it feeling like it was an additional ”burden”.

BUT: Is putting gas in the car REALLY a BURDEN? According to the dictionary a burden is a ”heavy load.” Putting gas in your car is a NATURAL RESPONSIBILITY – naturally you must take care of the car if YOU USE IT, and so – fill it up with the fuel when it’s needed otherwise it will not function FOR YOU.

So it’s like: If you can’t handle the natural simple responsibility of taking care of your car, you should not drive one.

I had to face a choice of taking care of myself and the car: I filled up the car with gas, and then I had to drive very carefully and slowly because the weather hit the road quite harshly – lots of rain, wind, some ice.

A part of me fiercely came up, like fighting with reality – I did not WANT to slow down, I wanted to get to my destination in how I wanted to. Boy, it was a very immature selfish part of me rearing it’s head saying shit like ”I want it my way, fuck you weather.” I was basically fighting with the LAWS of NATURE and RULES OF THE ROAD – what was HERE.

Then I realized I haven’t yet equalized myself to the rules of the road – there is the tendency to try and rebel and do things ‘my way’ on the road, but I would end up getting in trouble (close to accidents, risking relationships/lives with other drivers).

So then my friend’s partner came up in me – he is very physical and good with driving/being on the road. I remembered how I enjoyed his presence in the car, his confidence and carefulness of the road, so I ‘liked that’ and decided to be/emerge as that – tapping into the words he represented to me (careful, mature, physical, aware) and I was able to slow down on the road, being more focused and attentive to my safety and the safety of the car. Doing this worked, — where the process of driving made me feel more confident, mature and comfortable.

So with driving, I am going to become what I liked in another – physically aware of myself and the car on the road, being careful and attentive to the laws/ways of driving, keeping me and my car’s safety in check top priority.


Recommended Resources:

Desteni.org – Research and investigation on human consciousness / human nature

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation

286. Wholesome Embrace as Living Expression

christiana-rivers-217056I listened to the recording on EQAFE called The Simplicity of Taste. One point that was brought forward was identifying the words that you experience when you taste food.  Eating a juicy orange could for example conjure up the words ”bubbly excitement,” within you and the next step would see where have you experienced a bubbly excitement  in your life, and where can you apply and live that in your life.

I played with this approach today while eating a slice of pizza. It was a large, greasy cheesy slice with spinach on top and as I ate it the words ”wholesome embrace” came through me. In me I asked where have I experienced this word in my life? Then a memory popped up of my uncle who I use to visit every year, and he was very affectionate and he use to really hug me, hold me and embrace me, wholesomely. It was a very nice embrace, and I really enjoyed his affectionate expression towards me.

Upon seeing this remembrance and connection to the words ”wholesome embrace” the pizza held for me, I walked a forgiveness line to re-align / merge the expression my uncle expressed / lived back into me, where I then made an internal commitment statement to wholesomely embrace my partner, family and friends with a big hug when I greet them, just as my uncle did. Within that I also gained gratefulness – gratefulness my uncle lived and expressed this word and being affectionate towards me, because he was the only family member who did this, so he was very unique in that expression.

The steps I walked in the process was:

  1. Eat the food (lol)
  2. As you eat the food, what experience as words would you say this food brings up in you? (ie: ”Bubbly excitement” ”Wholesome embrace”)
  3. Once you identify the words – where in your life have you experienced this word, or what memories come forth connected to this experience?
  4. Walk a self-forgiveness process to re-align the word / living expression back to yourself and gain clarity on where or how you can use it in your life nowadays
  5. Be clear on how exactly you will live this word in your life, stick to it until it becomes second-nature in you and have fun!

So this was a technique I used from the EQAFE recording The Simplicity of Taste … maybe you want to try it out yourself 🙂


Suggested Resources:

EQAFE.com – Self-Perfection Merchandise

School of Ultimate Living – Life Creation through Words

DIP Lite – Free Self-Development Course

Self & Living – Fresh Insights into Self- Empowerment & Lifestyle Creation