234. What is Guaranteed in Life?

What is guaranteed in life? The last few weeks my partner and I’ve gone through some situations where we had to question this.

At my partner’s work there was a huge change to the system and how things run there, and that recently hired workers who signed their contracts and had faith that they will be working at the company suddenly got dropped and are no longer employed. Can you imagine what that must be like, after telling your wife, family and friends about this job, signing the contract, getting an apartment near work, and then hearing the news that you didn’t get it? My partner and I realized we cannot put our entire trust in the system and feel ”safe” in it because the possibility of getting dropped/fired/laid off, so best to do what we can in the job, learn from it, expand, grow and put some money in savings.

Then I signed a contract for a job and then 2 days later am told that the person I was meant to replace (because they were going to move to another country) decided to stay, BUT that I can work in another area of the school, thus being able to keep my job (whew).

Then we found an ideal apartment, were told to ”take our time to decide” on it, and then a few days later, on the day when we were going to see it a second time, and started talking about how we are going to decorate the apartment, we got a call that the owner decided to have another couple take the apartment. We had believed we were the only ones involved in the apartment point, had already planned what to do with it, and thus were completely shocked with the sudden turn of events. We now know we cannot be too relaxed about making decisions on apartments since it is competitive where we are living.

So, the point I’d like to bring across is: I’ve learned I cannot put 100% faith and trust into people and the system because ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN/CHANGE, it can be unpredictable and it can be out of your control. Best thing to do is to stay grounded, don’t get your head up in the clouds of your mind, thinking, dreaming, imagining your new life with an apartment, job, etc. Stay real, practical and work with what is here (the system and how things are being run) and do some prevention like have some savings in your bank account just in case you were to suddenly lose your job.

I learned that crying, or freaking out/becoming emotional is absolutely pointless when you’re up against the system — we allowed the system to control us instead of working equal and one with it. For example, those tears are going to do nothing towards you getting another job…you have to go out and get it, or find the people to help you get it.

What CAN be guaranteed in life is the Living Income Guaranteed. I suggest you check it out HERE. 

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Educational & Supportive Websites:
Journey to Life Blogs:     Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery
Self & Living: Solutions to Personal Every Day Problems
EQAFE.com  Self-Improvement Interviews
DIP Lite:  Free Self-Development Online Course
Desteni I Process: Online Self-Mastery Course at it’s Finest

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Day 214: The Problem with Alcohol at Parties

I got invited to a party the other day and I was really looking forward to checking it out there. It was going to be my first party here in Vienna and I was going to meet many internationals also living in this city. I was also able to bring my partner with me which was cool.

When I got there I noticed that the party was basically held in a restaurant with many tables and chairs set up with a bar but no dance floor. So basically everyone there was simply talking and drinking alcohol, and that was it.

I see it as a shame that we as humanity allow ourselves to set up and participate in these parties where we all resort to drinking alcohol because that is how we see ‘fun’ but I don’t see fun as that. I see fun at parties as being able to be oneself, express oneself with others, dance around, have interesting conversations with people without being influenced by alcohol, but we have over time programmed and conditioned ourselves throughout our history as humans in this world/society to connect alcohol to ‘fitting in,’ ‘having fun’ or ‘partying’ while we suppress our own expression within this substance. In fact we can feel paralyzed/fearful around others and unable to be ourselves at parties/gatherings, that is why we give into alcohol to either ‘help’ us in loosening ourselves up/being relaxed within who we are, or bring out a more rambunctious outgoing side that we normally suppress in our day to day living.

This is why I find education on how to be able to be ourselves/bring out our self-expression around others and at parties without the need for alcohol/external substance is important because then we are directive principles, being able to be okay with ourselves, decide who we are and how we want to be/live in our lives instead of allowing a substance to decide for us or influence who we should be, feel and do. In this regard, one can take the  Desteni I Process ‘Lite’ course or go on the Desteni Forum to help one establish an awareness of becoming directive principle of your life.

I know me and my partner are a very rare couple compared to the many other couples and individuals in this world at parties because of our choice to not drink alcohol. We understand the impact and influence it has to not only our minds, but our bodies. If it is suggested or mandatory to order some drink at a party or dinner I order a non-alcohol drink like a fruit juice with soda water (it’s quite delicious, give it a shot sometime).

Here are some blogs in relation to the effects of alcohol on the mind and body and how to support yourself to stop the habit/addiction:

One Year of NO ALCOHOL
Alcohol, Drugs and Demon Possession
My Addiction to Alcohol, Sleeping Meds and Porn
Alcohol is the Corporate Psychologist
Where Does Your Responsibility Go When You’re Drunk?
Zero Point and Other Points – Alcohol 
Alcohol and Humanity — Intelligence?

Google Hangout Video:
What They Didn’t Tell You About Alcohol Addiction!

Forum Thread:
The Design of Alcohol

Interviews:
Alcohol in New Relationships
Alcohol Poisoning
Life Review: Words, Behavior, Alcohol
Death Research: Words, Behavior, Alcohol

”I have not had alcohol for a year and a bit more now, I have gone to a bar with friends and people from my past, and I just drank seltzer water and ice. They ask ‘what, you don’t drink anymore? why not?’ in great shock, this amused me somewhat, but also, I realize that this is just programmed behavior. We are so programmed to see people drinking, having alcohol be accepted as the way to relax and enjoy friends as it’s on every other commercial and pushed in tv and movies, but really if we have a self honest look, it’s just a way for corps. to make money while we go to shit. Many deaths are caused, people go out of control, no common sense is practiced, and its really all just bullshit and not needed. I realized I could be an example to show we don’t need to drink to enjoy here, alcohol is not needed to have a good time, and it can be stopped. I suggest use what has been said in this thread to write out self honestly why you drink. Drinking alcohol is an abuse to life and does nothing to support what is here and what is best for all.” –-Garbrielle on the Desteni Forum

Educational & Supportive Websites:
Journey to Life Blogs:     Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery
EQAFE.com  Free Self-Improvement Interviews
DIP Lite:  Free Self-Development Online Course
Desteni I Process: Online Self-Mastery Course at it’s Finest
Relationship Agreement Course: Empower Yourself, Strengthen your Relationships
Desteni Website  Understanding the Human Mind, Oneness & Equality
Desteni Wiki Structured, Organized Information about Self & Solutions
Desteni Forum  Forum with interactive support, resources and tools 

Day 205: Who Am I Without My Mother?

Continuing from:
Who Am I Alone?

It was the first night my family was gone and I knew I would be seeing them tomorrow. I just had to hop on a plane. The first reaction that comes up is fear because I project through my mind my mom not being around. She has always been someone who has always provided support in the household, whether it’s cooking or cleaning up a mess I made, she was always there, eventually ‘picking up after me.’ Now, that she was not there, it was as if I experienced a shock of not having that external support around me, and then the fear comes up of not knowing what to do with myself. I felt very empty inside like I lost or left a part of myself with my mother, like that support she has always given me was not around. So there was this illusionary experience of feeling/being empty, like half empty. Then there was the anxiety of not knowing what to do, but then a stress within projecting everything I needed to do that day came up because I had to prepare and pack for a flight tomorrow. I still had not yet sorted out or directed the fear point of not having my mother or family members as that external support of being around, and I started to feel unwell about it when I did my errands. It’s interesting cause I realize if I had given myself some time to do some writing before I went off to do errands, then maybe I wouldn’t have gotten so sick because through the writing I would have been able to see more clearly why I am reacting in fear and be able to direct it. Eventually as I walked my errands, I started to get a pain the bridge of my nose indicating sinus pressure. The pain then spread as a headache across my forehead and then I started to feel ill. When I got home I became so dizzy I threw up. I dealt with a stomach ache and nausea that entire night and the next morning. Then interestingly enough, once I got off the plane and greeted my mother and family the nausea went away and I felt fine.

Underlying points within the memory:

–React in fear towards a projection of my mom disappearing from me, no longer being around

–Fear of no longer having anyone to help instead of realizing that if I require help I trust that I will find the means to do so/to find help

–Fear/anxiety of not knowing what to do with myself/having lack of self-trust having depended on others to move me/direct me

–That who I depended on not being there, feel empty, like a part of me left

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to a projection of my mother suddenly disappearing from me because I have connected no longer having my mother around to it being something scary because I realize I have depended on my mother so much and gave so much trust to her in taking care of me I have not allowed myself to develop the skills necessary to live/be on my own which is why imagining her disappearing from my life I see it as being unable to live without her

From this, I commit myself to investigate where I need to educate myself so I become confident living within the world system since I realize I have allowed myself to depend on others to take care of me and my survival

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am incapable of taking care of myself alone because I have depended on another instead of realizing the responsibility of my part that I believed myself to be fine living and depending on another instead of realizing there will come a time when I cannot depend on them forever as death comes to each one of us

I commit myself to understand the reality of death and to never take anyone or anything for granted in terms of depending on them to not take responsibility for myself but to learn from them/others and assist myself in understanding how to live on this planet in a way where I can live effectively

So thus, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to accept the reality that I cannot depend on my mother for the rest of my life, that it will get to the point where I cannot depend on her anymore, thus

I commit myself to use the realization that I cannot depend on my mother for the rest of my life as motivation to start living and understanding myself and how to work/live in this system, how to essentially ‘grow up’ and learn how this world works since it’ll get to a point where my mom will not be here anymore

Will continue in the next blog post…thanks for reading!

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Educational & Supportive Websites:
Journey to Life Blogs:     Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery
EQAFE.com  Free Self-Improvement Interviews
DIP Lite:  Free Self-Development Online Course
Desteni I Process: Online Self-Mastery Course at it’s Finest
Relationship Agreement Course: Empower Yourself, Strengthen your Relationships
Desteni Website  Understanding the Human Mind, Oneness & Equality
Desteni Wiki Structured, Organized Information about Self & Solutions
Desteni Forum  Forum with interactive support, resources and tools 

Day 187: The Word: SELF

Continuing from:
Seperating myself from…myself

Part 1 of Investigation of the word Self-Commitment

Let me first look at the word SELF:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word SELF through defining SELF in separation of myself instead of realizing SELF is ME as who I am currently existing right here, right now. I see, realize and understand that SELF is me as beingness as life-potential. I see, realize and understand that SELF is who I am and what I’m currently existing/living as right here and right now.

Sounding:

Sell-f, Shelf, Cell, I am one cell within a body (the universe) I am a part/cell of the whole/body and therefore I am not alone, I am an integral part of the whole/body because I am a part of it, I come from it and I can’t leave it

Dictionary Definition:

self

noun, plural selves.

1.a person or thing referred to with respect to complete individuality: one’s own self.

2.a person’s nature, character, etc.: his better self.

3.personal interest.

Okay, so ‘complete individuality’ I can see in relation the the word SELF. I see SELF as ME and I also see SELF as a part of the WHOLE. SELF as a cell in a body, it is a part of the body and is there to exist/do its part. So within SELF there is responsibility as well since SELF as CELL has its part/job to do in the body which means I have a part/job in this world, I am am integral point to its existence and I have the responsibility to support the whole/body and do my part because I come from it, it is a part of me/I am a part of it. I also see the part of individuality that I have a unique expression that is ME as SELF as WHO I AM as BEINGNESS as LIFE-POTENTIAL. Each individual/being in this existence has their own expression that is unique and individualized and we all come from the same source/body/whole yet individual/unique.

New Definition:

Self is ME as WHO I AM currently existing here in this moment

Practical Application:

Within SELF-honesty I look within to see who I am and what I’m currently existing and assess whether what I’m existing as/accepting and allowing is best for all or requires correction/change

Within SELF-Forgiveness I take responsibility for what I see I am currently existing that is not Best for All and from that, set forth direction to change

Within SELF-Writing, the writing is focused on me and what I’m currently existing as within what I see requires to be changed

Within SELF-Corrective Application I walk ME as who/how I currently exist as into change as correction, correcting me and/or training me into becoming/living in a way most supportive for me, as SELF as a part of the WHOLE/BODY of the universe

This is a work in progress. As I walk my process more dimensions/points about who I am as SELF/the word SELF will open up

Check out these awesome sites that supported me:

Journey to Life Blogs:
Journey to Life 

FREE Self-Help Interviews:
EQAFE Downloads

FREE Self-Development/Life Skills Course:
DIP Lite

Awesome Life & Living Support:
Desteni Website

Desteni Wiki
Desteni Forum
EQAFE – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Day 127: Investigating the word "Harsh"

I see myself as being harsh on me and I would like to be gentle with myself instead.

First I will walk the word harsh, how I see the word, what comes up when I speak the word, why I justify within myself that it’s okay/acceptable to be harsh with myself, forgive myself from existing as this word and re-define it for myself.

How I see the word harsh:

This is one word that I experience within myself – being harsh, strict, severe within me. I have lived the word harsh by being harsh with my body –putting it on diets, gaining and losing weight within a very short time frame, so who knows what kind of consequences I may have created from that.

I have also lived this word by judging myself and the thoughts that come up, the backchat that comes up and instead of directing myself in breath and/or through writing and forgiveness, would judge and become harsh within myself. I also see being harsh on self connected to self-hate – both of which I experience negative experiences toward.

This is a short blog tonight, but I will definitely continue with this point tomorrow.

Additional Support:
Redefining Words Support
Desteni
Desteni Forum
DIP Lite (free self-development course)
EQAFE – self development merchandise

Day 61: I Don’t Want to Be Seen As Weak

I see this point started when I was in fifth grade when I became friends with X and Y. I see that I wanted to maintain and stay friends with X but as Y as a ‘rival’ because she had been friends with X longer and to me seemed like X liked her more, so being with X I had a continuous fear that somehow I was going to lose my friendship with her so I began changing myself and my personality so she could ‘like me’ more but this did backfire because she began to not like me and also I became uncomfortable within myself because I saw what I was doing yet because I wanted to be friends with her I kept compromising myself. For example, I got invited to X’s birthday party and I really didn’t want to go but I felt like I had to go because if not I our relationship/friendship would end. So when I did go to the party I really didn’t enjoy myself and really regretted it.

Looking at it now, I didn’t have any other friends to be with in fifth grade so I stuck with X for fear of having no one else to really talk to and hang out with. I stuck with X because I knew her from the fourth grade and she accepted me and was nice to me most of the time. With the other classmates in fifth grade I didn’t really get along with anyone… no one ‘stood out’ to me; there was no one I connected with.

There is that survival point — like making sure I have friends because if I don’t I will look weak or not be accepted in my environment so in school I had to make sure I looked ‘okay’ at all times by having friends. This is where I can see a personality started, from this fear of looking weak, of not looking “okay” and I need to be seen ‘strong’ and ‘okay,’ by having friends and be accepted in my environment so I do not physically manifest my fears of looking weak.

I made sure throughout my school years to not to look weak at all and did what I could to look strong and okay. I was disregarding and ignoring myself by putting on such a personality trying to maintain this friendship with X that obviously wasn’t supporting me at all but I continued with it cause I had no one else to hang out with and I feared being alone and be seen weak/vulnerable.

Okay, so I will take responsibility for these points and apply Self Forgiveness in the next blog post, thanks.

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