238. Benefits of Finding Common Ground in People

I got invited to a birthday brunch today. Before such event I get a little nervous, not knowing what to expect, but then I re-mind myself I’ve been in these situations before and actually enjoy chatting and getting along with other people, and with that trust I calm down.

There was one women I was unsure of at the event — I didn’t know if she had a problem with me, and I had the idea she didn’t like me because of one behavior, but because I knew this kind of thinking (of whether she liked me or not) was a habit I usually obsess over, I utilized support from my partner to let it go and if she is there, simply say hi and I don’t have to talk to her (in other words, I don’t have to force myself to talk to her because of a need to please her or make her my friend).

Funny how things worked cause she ended up sitting next to me, and I was surprised at how different she was in comparison to the ideas I had about her. I found that the common ground between us was children — that she has a daughter and that I work in a school with children her’s daughters age, so I initiated a conversation about that and it turned out to be a cool chat where she gave me some information about the city I’m living in that I can now utilize in my life.

I was surprised by the helpful information I got from her, because I wasn’t expecting it, and from this I’ve realized that every new person I talk to in some way gives me a gift — whether it’s a connection to a job, or a person, or a new piece of information about the city I’m living in, every person I have interacted with has in some way given me something I can take and utilize to make improvements in my life.

So I suggest for everyone to not isolate oneself from people, because when you meet and chat with people you can gain information that may benefit your life, as well as serve as a connection to another person or to an opportunity. Find that little courage to simply go for it, strike up a conversation with someone, even if it’s a ”how are you?” and see where that leads. See where there is common ground, what the both of you can talk about. What you can relate to. This is especially important for people who live in a new city or town, to make connections and friends because it is through people you can gain information that can assist you in living a more comfortable life in a new environment.

I met with people I wouldn’t normally hang out with if I lived my old life back in the states but circumstances brought us together and we all have common ground when it comes to being of similar nationalities and cultures in a European city. This is what establishes connections and it feels good to have a network of people to go to for questions and support and to simply share the ups and downs. Meeting these people also helped me learn more about my city, got me in contact with certain people and really assisted me in making my new life comfortable.

But the key is you must be willing to open up and share with people. Not everything, but whatever you are comfortable within the topic and from this, points and information will open up you could never have predicted that can benefit you and your life.

Additional Support on:  
Benefits of Relationships, Making Friends, & Effective Communication

Educational & Supportive Websites:
Journey to Life Blogs:     Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery
Self & Living: Solutions to Personal Every Day Problems
EQAFE.com  Self-Improvement Interviews
DIP Lite:  Free Self-Development Online Course
Desteni I Process: Online Self-Mastery Course at it’s Finest

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234. What is Guaranteed in Life?

What is guaranteed in life? The last few weeks my partner and I’ve gone through some situations where we had to question this.

At my partner’s work there was a huge change to the system and how things run there, and that recently hired workers who signed their contracts and had faith that they will be working at the company suddenly got dropped and are no longer employed. Can you imagine what that must be like, after telling your wife, family and friends about this job, signing the contract, getting an apartment near work, and then hearing the news that you didn’t get it? My partner and I realized we cannot put our entire trust in the system and feel ”safe” in it because the possibility of getting dropped/fired/laid off, so best to do what we can in the job, learn from it, expand, grow and put some money in savings.

Then I signed a contract for a job and then 2 days later am told that the person I was meant to replace (because they were going to move to another country) decided to stay, BUT that I can work in another area of the school, thus being able to keep my job (whew).

Then we found an ideal apartment, were told to ”take our time to decide” on it, and then a few days later, on the day when we were going to see it a second time, and started talking about how we are going to decorate the apartment, we got a call that the owner decided to have another couple take the apartment. We had believed we were the only ones involved in the apartment point, had already planned what to do with it, and thus were completely shocked with the sudden turn of events. We now know we cannot be too relaxed about making decisions on apartments since it is competitive where we are living.

So, the point I’d like to bring across is: I’ve learned I cannot put 100% faith and trust into people and the system because ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN/CHANGE, it can be unpredictable and it can be out of your control. Best thing to do is to stay grounded, don’t get your head up in the clouds of your mind, thinking, dreaming, imagining your new life with an apartment, job, etc. Stay real, practical and work with what is here (the system and how things are being run) and do some prevention like have some savings in your bank account just in case you were to suddenly lose your job.

I learned that crying, or freaking out/becoming emotional is absolutely pointless when you’re up against the system — we allowed the system to control us instead of working equal and one with it. For example, those tears are going to do nothing towards you getting another job…you have to go out and get it, or find the people to help you get it.

What CAN be guaranteed in life is the Living Income Guaranteed. I suggest you check it out HERE. 

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Educational & Supportive Websites:
Journey to Life Blogs:     Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery
Self & Living: Solutions to Personal Every Day Problems
EQAFE.com  Self-Improvement Interviews
DIP Lite:  Free Self-Development Online Course
Desteni I Process: Online Self-Mastery Course at it’s Finest