Day 192: Oh So Busy!

Lately I have been extremely busy getting plans in order for my move to another country as well as my upcoming wedding.  I had today while at my job been planning and looking too much into what I need to do and what to get in order instead of focusing on my job and what I need to do in the moment.

When I stopped for a moment and saw that I had a lot to walk I realized that the best way to handle or manage this point is to make a list and to look at what needs to get done first, and then the points that can be pushed to look at later will stay in the background while the important points get looked at first, basically. This had made the process a bit easier but I still see myself existing within reactions of stress where even my breathing becomes uneven and shallow and constricting.

I found that I have difficulty relaxing while working and planning all the things I need to do. I define the experience/moments of me planning and getting things in order as “busy” to the point where it’s like “I can’t breathe” or relax within me. I believe I cannot even relax while walking through all the steps necessary to complete the tasks, yet I “know” it is possible, I just have to live and become relaxed while I’m in a busy situation.  Because there is “so much to do” it is like only those things are the focus of my day and my process of understanding myself and the mind is put in back when really I should walk the tasks necessary while living/standing within the starting point of process/self-support, like no matter what I do I practice being aware of who I am in every moment.

So that is what I need to shift within myself, shift to an awareness of who I am and what I’m existing in WHILE I work on my plans and not separate myself from process/me.

Just because I am “busy” does not mean I have to create emotional reactions about it. I see I have done this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an emotional reaction of stress toward being really busy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and believe that I must be stressed if I have a lot of things to do/am busy because of an idea I have that that is who you must be if you are busy because everyone I’ve seen/interacted with have existed within stress when they were busy, instead of realizing that I don’t have to exist within stress when I am busy, I can relax within myself and my body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear relaxing myself and my body because I believe I won’t be able to get the tasks/points done the same way if I were to be stressed, thus perceiving that I can only get my tasks/points done within a certain time frame if I am stressed instead of testing the point out for myself in practising to see if I am able to get my things done within a certain time frame while completely relaxed

So, this is a self-challenge I make for myself. I am going to from now on, relax my body when I see myself in a state of stress when I am busy working/planning on my move or wedding because what I see is that it will be better/more supportive for myself and my body to relax while working because stress and constrictive breathing actually causes health problems in the long-run, so best to use preventative care and relax, breath fully and slowly.

The specific relaxing technique I will use is: when I see myself clench/tense/tighten any muscle within my body, to immediately take a big breath in, breath out and release and let go the tenseness/tightness and continue breathing until I am no more tense but instead relaxed within my body. So no matter what I’m doing in my day and I see myself tense, I apply the correction for myself. Will see how this goes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go and relaxing my body within a state of ease and comfort because I am afraid of losing that part of myself that works in stress since I’m so familiar and comfortable with it, I had made that a part of me instead of becoming a new way of living, changing the relationship in a more supportive way of breathing within my body, letting go of any fears or concerns in relation to getting the necessary points done and walk my day checking my list of things to do within a relaxed manner

Will continue with this point tomorrow, thank you for reading.

Journey to Life Blogs:
Journey to Life 

FREE Self-Help Interviews:
EQAFE Downloads

FREE Self-Development/Life Skills Course:
DIP Lite

Awesome Life & Living Support:
Desteni Website

Desteni Wiki
Desteni Forum
EQAFE – Self-Perfection Merchandise

 

Enhanced by Zemanta
Advertisements

Day 191: Aversion to Bananas Part 2

Continuing with: Aversion Towards Bananas – Where Did This Come From?!

Points noted down:
-Disgust towards bananas
-Want to gag if they are around/near my mouth
-Backchat: “I don’t want to taste it/eat it” “I’m going to gag” “I don’t want to eat it” “my blood type says I shouldn’t eat it” “my blood results says I’m sensitive to it/my body reacts to it so I shouldn’t eat it”
-Fear/petrified of having to eat it

-Feeling proud of being known in my family for my dislike of bananas (getting attention from mom, for example)
-Enjoyed that attention, cause that’s “Me” it was something I saw special/unique/different than everyone else in my family that I could say is “me”

I asked my mother today if there was any moment in my life where I had a traumatic or dramatic experience with a banana and she said she could not see anything. I will then have to track my father to see next lol.

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in disgust when I see a banana without knowing why and from this, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to question why I don’t like bananas and why I find disgust in them while they are simply a fruit, a food and are eatable yet I cannot put one in my mouth or otherwise will gag

I realize that the banana is a fruit, just like all other foods here on this planet meant to nourish the physical body. It is “harmless” in that it is equal like all other foods here and existing on this planet with me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider the mind‘s influence on the banana where I have given my power away to the mind where it decides for me to react in disgust if I see a banana, smell a banana, or watch someone eat a banana where I don’t know or understand where this reaction came from or the memory that created this aversion towards the fruit

I realize that I had somewhere in my life allowed myself to react every time I see, smell or watch someone eat a banana instead of understanding or knowing why and from this, I realize that I had in someway allowed my mind to take that point or take a memory of me where I had an experience with a banana and use it to its own benefit to make me react whenever I see or am in the prescense of a banana and I have allowed myself to be completly blind and swiped of a memory of knowing what memory is the result of this reaction

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuses “I don’t need to eat it because my blood tests say my body reacts to it” to not try and eat a banana for the first time.

I see, realize and understand I have a fear of eating a banana and I don’t know why. Nothing holds me back from eating a food but me and my reaction to it. I know how to eat, so I am able to eat this banana lol I have to in some way walk through the reaction of wanting to gag from it. Gagging is a physical reaction which means there are uncovered dimensions, dimensions that are result in the gagging reaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a fear reaction towards eating a banana by fearing to gag on the banana and possibly throw up if I were to eat it, and from this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am going to gag or throw up if I eat a banana instead of realizing I have no conscious awareness or recollection of ever gagging or throwing up from a banana so this is eating a banana is new territory for me

I commit myself to continue walking the banana-point in looking to see what can assist me in being able to eat or try a banana within stability

More to come…

https://eqafe.com/i/mmulcrone-childhood-memories-influence-your-current-tastes-life-review

Check out these awesome sites that supported me:

Journey to Life Blogs:
Journey to Life 

FREE Self-Help Interviews:
EQAFE Downloads

FREE Self-Development/Life Skills Course:
DIP Lite

Awesome Life & Living Support:
Desteni Website

Desteni Wiki
Desteni Forum
EQAFE – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Day 190: Averison Towards Bananas – Where Did This Come From?!

Tonight I listened to the EQAFE interview: Childhood Memories Influence Your Current Tastes and I looked at how I have always had an aversion or resistance towards bananas and I never knew why. I cannot pinpoint an actual memory, but what comes up when I look at it is a disgust and wanting to gag. I have in the past tried such foods like banana bread, but only because I wanted to see if I could handle it, and I would end up having such an emotional reaction towards it I couldn’t finish it.

The being who was speaking in the interview mentioned how they defined themselves according to this object they didn’t like and justified it was who they were, and I can see that in my own life I have enjoyed being ‘different’ in being the one in my family who doesn’t like bananas and my mother and I use to joke about my dislike for them and made fun of it instead of realizing how I have such a reaction to these fruits without my understanding or awareness as to WHY, thus that shows me I have in some way allowed my mind to take on that point and the memory is so deep within me that it’s not even in my conscious awareness. So I have allowed my mind to take this reaction of resistance/aversion and disgust of bananas and use it to its benefit of generating energy.

Imagining/looking at eating a banana now I physically react by frowning and shutting my mouth. My mouth closes up and I don’t want the fruit to enter my mouth at all. Backchats are “I don’t want to taste it” “I don’t want to eat it” “I’m going to gag.”  Tomorrow I will ask my parents if there was any prominent memories of me having a traumatic or emotional experience eating or being around a banana because this may assist me in understanding where this aversion comes from.

Points noted down:

-Disgust towards bananas

-Want to gag if they are around/near my mouth

-Backchat: “I don’t want to taste it/eat it” “I’m going to gag” “I don’t want to eat it” “my blood type says I shouldn’t eat it” “my blood results says I’m sensitive to it/my body reacts to it so I shouldn’t eat it”

-Fear/petrified of having to eat it

-Feeling proud of being known in my family for my dislike of bananas (getting attention from mom, for example)

-Enjoyed that attention, cause that’s “Me” it was something I saw special/unique/different than everyone else in my family that I could say is “me”

So, I cannot pinpoint or find the memory of where I created/got this aversion in the first place. I will walk Self-Forgiveness on general points in relation to it tomorrow.

https://eqafe.com/i/mmulcrone-childhood-memories-influence-your-current-tastes-life-review

Check out these awesome sites that supported me:

Journey to Life Blogs:
Journey to Life 

FREE Self-Help Interviews:
EQAFE Downloads

FREE Self-Development/Life Skills Course:
DIP Lite

Awesome Life & Living Support:
Desteni Website

Desteni Wiki
Desteni Forum
EQAFE – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Day 188: Fear of Flying Support

I spent the weekend in another state and thus had to fly. I walked writings in relation to the fear of flying before and realized the best I can do for myself is to relax my body, accept the moment and do my thing/keep busy while flying, because I have no control of the plane. Flying is just another form of transportation, like taking a train or a boat, except you are in the air and experience the occasional turbulence.

About turbulence… this was what I really didn’t like at first, and I would go into instant emotional reactions when I would feel the slightest bumps and dips of the plane and when it became more moderate would go into tons of stress. I began practicing to breathe, to stop projecting what may come and be here, allowing myself to “embrace” the turbulence so to speak, and this assisted and supported me in accepting it, allowing it to come and go. I understand that I can’t do anything about it, so I have to accept it.

Another point is also that I had the tendency to before flying to go into “what-if” scenarios while on the plane ride. After listening to the EQAFE interview Death Research: Plane Crash interviews I learned it’s best not to entertain these fears and I have found this type of participation/entertainment within the mind only perpetuates fear and does absolutely nothing to support me, but actually makes me feel “worse” or more nervous and anxious . So, I practiced with stopping participation by breathing and not allowing the particular thoughts to continue. I would tell myself I can only trust/embrace this moment, and take things moment by moment. It’s really the truth – I really can’t predict reality, I can’t tell you what’s going to happen in the next five minutes (unless I deliberately plan to do something) – reality is unpredictable so the best I see is to take things moment by moment – stop the projections and fears about flying and just be here in the moment, doing your thing.

To make myself relax on the plane, I would at times read a magazine or rest my eyes. I do suggest for those who are “nervous fliers” to do something you enjoy on the plane, that makes you relax and/or keeps you focused. Much time went by when I would read.

Medicine or medication can be a bridge to assist those nervous/anxious fliers. Flying can also make one a bit sick so sitting over the wing of the plane and/or taking motion-sickness pills may help.

In time to come I will add more support, but this is all I see at this moment. I have to get some unpacking done tonight now. Thanks for reading.

Check out these awesome sites that supported me:

Journey to Life Blogs:
Journey to Life 

FREE Self-Help Interviews:
EQAFE Downloads

FREE Self-Development/Life Skills Course:
DIP Lite

Awesome Life & Living Support:
Desteni Website

Desteni Wiki
Desteni Forum
EQAFE – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Day 162: My Friend’s Unexpected Car Accident

OWNLOAD

Unexpected. I read on facebook a friend of mine got into a car accident but she was okay. This was unexpected and I reacted in fear towards this.

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear about my friend getting into a car accident.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear towards my friend getting into a car accident because it was unexpected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear when things unexpectadly happen instead of taking the moment as is and doing what I can in the moment to assist/support me/others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think “anything can happen” in fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear to the saying/expression “anything can happen.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and alowed myself to fear getting in a car accident like my friend.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project being my friend and how I would feel if I were her.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize my friend is in her own process and whatever happens to her is because of her process, and therefore I cannot put myself in her shoes and imagine what she must have gone through because I am not in her body, I am not her.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear as if I was my friend in the accident by imagining what it must have been like.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear to the unpredictability of life and changes in life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear towards the unpredictability of life because I don’t know what to expect to happen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a fear reaction towards not knowing what to expect/not knowing what will happen next.

To be continued…

https://eqafe.com/p/car-crash-fears-phobias 
Where does the fear of being in a car accident come from?
How does the Mind create a relationship between the emotional energy of fear and car accidents in the Mind that produces the fear of car accidents?
Where does one start one’s process with releasing oneself from the emotional energy of fear in relation to car accidents?
How will one use the principle of ‘constructive separation’ to walk this process of releasing oneself from the emotional energy of fear?

Check out other Journey to Life Blogs:
Journey to Life 

FREE Self-Help Interviews:
EQAFE Free Downloads

FREE Self-Development/Life Skills Course:
DIP Lite

Additional Support:
Desteni Website

Desteni Wiki
Desteni Forum
Equal Life Foundation
EQAFE – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Enhanced by Zemanta

Day 160: The Fear of Not Being in Control of my Flight & The Solution

So I am going to let go of this fear connection, this fear of not being in control of my flight. I am going to let go of this fear because I understand that the more I participate/fear my flight, the more harm and pain I am doing unto myself and my body, because I know from the past my heart starts racing, palms get sweaty, I become nauseous – I put a lot of stress and strain on my body before and during my flights. This is not cool. Then I know that in participating in the fear-energy I am allowing myself/my beingness to get sucked along with it and then where am I? Lost – not stable and here, breathing. My body, still here, breathing is what I need to equalize myself to before and during these flights (and obviously every moment of my living existence, but specifically putting it into those examples).

I realize from my understanding that the pilots and airport and airline staff workers do what they can to ensure a safe, enjoyable flight for everyone. So therefore, I have to trust the pilot and crew during my traveling journey, but not in the case of projecting through fear that “my life is in their hands.” The best I can do for myself is breathe breathe breathe and be here with my physical body and enjoy it/embrace it. My body is what I have on this flight and it’s what I need to take care of. The crew members and pilots are “taking care” of me by getting me to my destination and that is what I must accept.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear to the reality that I am not in control of the air plane in how it functions, takes off, flies and lands.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear towards the reality/actuality that I cannot be in control of my air plane.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that pilots are trained extensively with flying and therefore they do what they can to make sure all is under control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being in control of my flight because I believe that if I were able to see and understand exactly what is going on during my flight I will be able to stop and prevent any problems from happening instead of realizing I am projecting my fear of not being in control onto the plane ride itself by believing that if I were in control/able to see what’s going on/have a say in what the pilots should do, “I would know what to do” if problems came up instead of realizing in reality I would not know what to do because I am not a trained pilot or airline professional and would not be able to assist the pilots or the airline crew members if there was a problem because I never had aviation education – therefore, I delete this belief.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that pilots are trained through simulator exercises to be able to understand how to deal with all kinds of air plane problems like engine fires and aborted take-offs so therefore they have the skills and knowledge on what to do with these problems.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that new pilots are always supervised with an experienced pilot who make sure there are no problems/everything goes smoothly, therefore, my pilot/pilots have or are being supervised by an experienced pilot and therefore I can breathe with knowing that they will do what they can to make a safe and smooth flight for everyone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear something to happen to the pilot, either that he gets sick or dies or does not perform his task well instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that there are always two pilots on a commercial air plane, therefore if something were to happen to one of the pilots then the other pilot would take control.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the pilots will do what they can to assure their lives and the lives of people on the plane are safe and taken care of and therefore, I can only – as my responsibility – take care of myself by breathing, staying here with my body, doing my things on the plane, keeping busy and directing myself back to breath when/as I see myself go in my mind/into fears. This is the best solution I have for myself.

I had flown many times in my life so I have the experience of being on a plane- it is only when I allow my mind to possess/overwhelm me by fears and imaginations that it becomes a problem.

I commit myself to bring myself back to my breath when and as I see myself go into my mind of thoughts/fears/imaginations because I realize through breathing and being here in my body, I am stable, I am calm, I am relaxed and I am supporting myself and my body.

When and as I see myself react in fear in wanting to be in control of the plane, I stop, I breathe and I bring up the fact that I am not trained in aviations, therefore I will not have any control of my flight but I do have control of myself/my body and therefore, the best I can do for myself is to take care of me by breathing, stabilizing and doing my things on the flight.

Check out other Journey to Life Blogs:
Journey to Life 

FREE Self-Help Interviews:
EQAFE Free Downloads

FREE Self-Development/Life Skills Course:
DIP Lite

Additional Support:
Desteni Website

Desteni Wiki
Desteni Forum
Equal Life Foundation
EQAFE – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Enhanced by Zemanta

Day 156: The Fear of Flying – Projecting Failure during Take Off

Continuing from: Day 155 – Fear of Flying – Allowing My Imagination Get to Me

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that if I continue to participate in thoughts and projections, they will continue until I stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in fear before getting on a plane instead of supporting myself to write down the prominent thoughts/fears/projections or walk self-forgiveness within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project the air plane’s engines failing in mid-air during take-off.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear when I projected the air plane’s engine failing in mid-air while taking off. From this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear towards a projection, an idea, an illusion within and as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my air plane to taking off and then stopping mid-air because it’s engines failed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my fear of the plane’s engine failing when taking off will manifest if I watch a plane take off.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn my head away after I projected the air plane’s engines failing mid-way in the sky within and from my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn my head away in fear because I believed that if I were to watch the air plane take-off, its engines will fail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I watch the plane take off and its engine fail, then my air plane’s engines will fail too when taking off.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself within/as fear by believing that if I were to watch a plane take off, my fear will manifest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I turn around/away from my fear, my fear will go away instead of realizing it is only through facing and understanding the fear that I am able to let it go.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I turn away from my fear my fear will not happen . From this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear manifesting/coming to life, thus showing me that I fear my own fear.

I see that I cannot control the plane and I am scared/nervous/uneasy/anxious that I am not in control of the air plane because I don’t know what is going on while flying, like for example during turbulence. I want to make sure everything is okay and how long the turbulence will be, when will it be over, as well as any weather points/problems, and to even want to see and assist with the landing. You basically have to trust the pilot and the air plane, and within that, it gives me the most anxiety because I am basically putting my life in their hands. So there is a fear of wanting to be in control of the air plane and also of avoiding anything can threaten my life, but in reality, I cannot and am not able to control/direct an air plane, I am not a pilot, I have to find solutions on how I can be okay/stable sitting in an air plane as the pilots and air plane staff do their job.

When and as I see myself becoming scared before I take off in a plane, I stop and breathe and see whether: I have the opportunity to write down any fears I have in my notebook/computer, or simply speak self-forgiveness within as I focus on breathing and stopping participation in thoughts because I realize the more I allow myself to participate in thoughts, the more energy as fear and thoughts I generate, causing friction and conflict with me and my body.

When and as I see myself watch an air plane take off and project the engines failing and then going into fear, I stop, I breathe and I forgive myself of the fear because I realize it is only a projection/imagination coming from a deeper fear that I am currently walking/investigating for myself about flying. I realize that the projection comes from images I have seen on TV/movies and thus, are not real, but an idea I believed to be real instead of asking myself what is real. I realize that what is real is what is going on in this physical reality, so I allow myself to watch the air plane take off as it really is happening and breathe here.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to face and understand each fear I have within me through self-honest writing and self-forgiveness and find a solution through writing, common sense and self-corrective/commitment statements to let it go.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to find all the memories, beliefs and ideas I have related to flying/air planes that connect to my fear of flying and from this, assist and support myself through self-honest writing, investigation and self-forgiveness to understand this fear, let it go and script a living correction for myself.

I commit myself to investigate the paranoia and fear of not being in control of myself and my life when I for example, am on an air plane.

More to come…

Check out other Journey to Life Blogs:
Journey to Life 

FREE Self-Help Interviews:
EQAFE Free Downloads

FREE Self-Development/Life Skills Course:
DIP Lite

Additional Support:
Desteni Website

Desteni Wiki
Desteni Forum
Equal Life Foundation
EQAFE – Self-Perfection Merchandise