Lately I have been extremely busy getting plans in order for my move to another country as well as my upcoming wedding. I had today while at my job been planning and looking too much into what I need to do and what to get in order instead of focusing on my job and what I need to do in the moment.
When I stopped for a moment and saw that I had a lot to walk I realized that the best way to handle or manage this point is to make a list and to look at what needs to get done first, and then the points that can be pushed to look at later will stay in the background while the important points get looked at first, basically. This had made the process a bit easier but I still see myself existing within reactions of stress where even my breathing becomes uneven and shallow and constricting.
I found that I have difficulty relaxing while working and planning all the things I need to do. I define the experience/moments of me planning and getting things in order as “busy” to the point where it’s like “I can’t breathe” or relax within me. I believe I cannot even relax while walking through all the steps necessary to complete the tasks, yet I “know” it is possible, I just have to live and become relaxed while I’m in a busy situation. Because there is “so much to do” it is like only those things are the focus of my day and my process of understanding myself and the mind is put in back when really I should walk the tasks necessary while living/standing within the starting point of process/self-support, like no matter what I do I practice being aware of who I am in every moment.
So that is what I need to shift within myself, shift to an awareness of who I am and what I’m existing in WHILE I work on my plans and not separate myself from process/me.
Just because I am “busy” does not mean I have to create emotional reactions about it. I see I have done this.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an emotional reaction of stress toward being really busy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and believe that I must be stressed if I have a lot of things to do/am busy because of an idea I have that that is who you must be if you are busy because everyone I’ve seen/interacted with have existed within stress when they were busy, instead of realizing that I don’t have to exist within stress when I am busy, I can relax within myself and my body
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear relaxing myself and my body because I believe I won’t be able to get the tasks/points done the same way if I were to be stressed, thus perceiving that I can only get my tasks/points done within a certain time frame if I am stressed instead of testing the point out for myself in practising to see if I am able to get my things done within a certain time frame while completely relaxed
So, this is a self-challenge I make for myself. I am going to from now on, relax my body when I see myself in a state of stress when I am busy working/planning on my move or wedding because what I see is that it will be better/more supportive for myself and my body to relax while working because stress and constrictive breathing actually causes health problems in the long-run, so best to use preventative care and relax, breath fully and slowly.
The specific relaxing technique I will use is: when I see myself clench/tense/tighten any muscle within my body, to immediately take a big breath in, breath out and release and let go the tenseness/tightness and continue breathing until I am no more tense but instead relaxed within my body. So no matter what I’m doing in my day and I see myself tense, I apply the correction for myself. Will see how this goes.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go and relaxing my body within a state of ease and comfort because I am afraid of losing that part of myself that works in stress since I’m so familiar and comfortable with it, I had made that a part of me instead of becoming a new way of living, changing the relationship in a more supportive way of breathing within my body, letting go of any fears or concerns in relation to getting the necessary points done and walk my day checking my list of things to do within a relaxed manner
Will continue with this point tomorrow, thank you for reading.
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