231. Opening Up Jealousy – Introduction

Note: The series My Relationship with Alcohol is on hold and the point of Jealousy will be focused on for the time being since this is a prominent point that requires to be dealt with.

Jealousy can make one turn into a mean, manipulative person.

There is this woman, who is my age. She is skilled in photography, knowledgeable about the city we both live in, a teacher and has similar characteristics I see in myself. She is successful and very well known and popular, also pretty and thin.  And I find myself extremely jealous of her.

This jealousy started to come when I found myself in competition with her after I launched my travel blog. Because she had her blog before me and developed quite the attention and following, I felt competitive towards her, wanting to be better than her. It got to the point where I couldn’t fall asleep cause I kept thinking about her and wanting to find ways to improve my travel blog and be successful. I stayed up for hours developing a plan, becoming an insomniac, completely possessed with a drive to succeed, to be better than her and I knew this was a problem.

I walked Self-Forgiveness, came to realizations and common sense, which cleared a lot of the energy, but that was not enough — I knew I had to dig more, find out more of myself in this energy and how to direct myself from it –getting to the actual corrections, because the jealousy still kept popping out and it will always pop up until I transcend it.

So I listened to the first recording by the Atlanteans on Jealousy. It was so supportive I was ”blown away” and many things made sense to me– why I was so jealous and wanted to direct my reality in a way were I was better and more successful than her. Behind jealousy is actually competition and comparison, and that comes from a history of human civilization that I never knew of but found out in the recording.

From this, I knew that I require to walk the process of jealousy, and what better way than to walk it now and here when the jealousy is fresh and this woman will be a constant in my life (I follow her blog and Instagram) and I am quite sure I will bump into her in the future, so I am also walking this point to become stable and supportive when I am with her or with others who I would be jealous towards.

Okay, so this is an introduction, and I am looking forward to walking this point.

Educational & Supportive Websites:
Journey to Life Blogs:     Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery
Self & Living: Solutions to Personal Every Day Problems
EQAFE.com  Self-Improvement Interviews
DIP Lite:  Free Self-Development Online Course
Desteni I Process: Online Self-Mastery Course at it’s Finest
8Relationship Agreement Course: Empower Yourself, Strengthen your Relationships

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Day 54: Judging My Last Name

Blog Name Change:
A Traveler’s Journey to Life is now changed to Michelle’s Journey to Life



I’m going to walk some Self Forgiveness regarding me judging my last name: 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my last name as ugly.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react negatively to my last name through judging it as ugly, and from this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect my last name with negative value.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the letters in my last name as ugly, simply because of how it looks and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the image of my last name as ugly when it is typed out or written down.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my last name as ugly because of the judgment that “it’s not pretty/nice,” so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and judge a name based on what I think is pretty/nice or not.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in embarrassment when people don’t pronounce my last name correctly and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect people pronouncing my last name incorrectly to it being embarrassing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive my last name as embarrassing due to the past of teachers and adults having difficulty pronouncing my name correctly and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  hold onto those memories of my teachers/adults pronouncing my last name incorrectly within me as the reason/justification/excuse as to why my last name is embarrassing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value to people not pronouncing my name correctly because of the belief that something must be wrong with my last name if people cannot pronounce it correctly so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the belief  that something is wrong with me when people cannot pronounce my last name correctly.

If I take a step back and look at the common sense in a name – a name is just letters from the alphabet that come together in a specific structure and form and one is identified by that name/structure and form, and at looking at my last name, it’s just a name  but I am holding onto certain values and definitions based on this name.

I commit myself to investigate the definitions, memories and values that I hold towards my last name and release the energy/hold through Self Forgiveness.

I commit myself to stop judging others names and my name within polarity of ‘nice/pretty’ and ‘ugly.’

I commit myself to investigate why I become so embarrassed when people pronounce my last name by looking at what memories I am holding onto where I perceive and justify my name is embarrassing.

I commit myself to investigate all the names that I perceive as ugly or pretty and release such definitions and judgments through Self Forgiveness.

Day 32: Belief "If I lose weight…I will…"



I have this belief of – if I lose weight I will become pretty and then I will have a boyfriend, get married and have a “life” which basically means marriage and children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep myself locked into the beLIEf that if I lose weight I will be pretty and from there, attract a partner.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give such enormous value to losing weight because of the belief that it will make me prettier and from that, happier.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect losing weight to getting prettier which I have given positive value towards.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect getting prettier to being happier, instead of realizing that to be happy within myself I do not require to lose weight and/or to look pretty cause if I allow external points to influence who I am instead of me accepting myself as happiness within (‘happiness’ is a word I will walk through and purify in posts to come) then I am being completely abusive and self dishonest with myself, since I am relying on and depending on the outside world to determine who I am and how I feel about myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I will be happy when I am thinner, because I believe I will be prettier and people will be nicer to me and my life will be better, instead of taking into consideration actual reality – a reality where not everyone is nice and will be nice to me, no matter how I look and that I cannot even trust another because we as humans have become such deceptive beings the only person I can really trust is me.
 …more to come…