Day 199: The word RELAX – Part 2

Continuation from Day 198: The word RELAX

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I were to be relaxed my guard will be down, meaning my protection and defence mechanisms that are there to ‘prepare’ me for any ‘blows or attacks’ from others behaviours or reactions and from this I realize that allowing myself to relax will assist and support me in being more in ‘tune’ with how my body responds to my thoughts/emotions so I can face and work with what I see and am aware of – thus, being relax will support me in my process of self-awareness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the idea and belief that being relax is when you completely ‘let yourself go’ meaning not having any care of preparation for what you need to do or live in this world but sink into an ethereal state of ‘bliss’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect being relaxed to being ignorant, where being relaxed within oneself and ‘letting go’ means to not be aware of this moment instead of realizing it is practically possible to be aware of oneself and let go of the tension/constrictions in one’s body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot relax in this world, that I always need to be ‘up and ready’ and ‘prepared’ for something to come my way, instead of realizing this is a personality I created where I “can’t relax” through justifying that I need to be ready/prepared for fear of something happening to me that can threaten my survival in this world and from this I realize that one can live in this world and be aware and prepared for whatever may come within a relaxed state in the body of breathing normally, letting go of tensions in the body and walking forgiveness and self-correction when one sees a mind point causing tension/constriction in the body

I will continue with more self-introspection and insight into the word RELAX as well as look into the Etymology definition and historical context of the word in the next blog post to come, thanks for reading.

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Day 69: Fear of Moving / Living / Working in Another Country

The Secret Behind Addictions – http://bit.ly/10a8J5J – By Marlen Vargas Del Razo


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into anxiety thinking about finding a job in a new country where I don’t even know how to get a job there and instead of actually taking the time to research how to get a job in the country I go into fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear venturing into a new country on my own instead of taking the time I have now to PREPARE MYSELF to go off into a new country so that by the time I am ready to move I am confident in how I will approach the finding-a-job point in the new country.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use fear and anxiety about finding a job in a new country to prevent me from actually taking the time to do what I see is required to move, live and work there: research, contacting people, contacting schools, looking up visa information, making sure I am eligible to work there, etc because I see moving to a new country and working there will take a lot of effort on my part to make sure that I get there safely and confidently.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear moving, working and living in a new country because it’s something I’ve never done before on my own –

and I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to remember and accept within that I was able to make it a whole month in Prague by myself as I went by myself to go to school there and met with American students and was able to form connections and therefore –

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate myself when it comes to moving, living and working abroad because I already have proof that I was able to move, live and work in a country by myself for a month just fine.

So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to approach moving to a new country in fear, fearing that I won’t be able to survive in the new country and will struggle and cry and be unhappy instead of seeing these are IDEAS and are NOT REAL and is actually manipulating me to not stay here and DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE PRACTICALLY DONE to assist and support myself in moving to the new country in confidence and stability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to really throw me around in the Mind with participating in imaginary situations in my head of fears and play-outs of me struggling in another country, crying, wanting to go home, fearing the world because “the system is just too hard” and “I cannot live on my own.”

From this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself to go into fear about moving / living / working in another country by participating in the fears and imaginary play-outs of situations that could threaten my financial stability which lead me to becoming unsure about myself and my future of moving / living / working in another country because I see, realize and understand I am paying more attention to what’s going on in my head as my fears and concerns instead of practically walking myself through the steps of gathering the necessary knowledge and information to ensure that I am able to move / live / work in another country effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain myself in my Mind with all the fears and imaginary play-outs of what could happen if I were to be struggling in another country in which I see I generate even more fear as I continue participating in those fears and imaginary play-outs and thus no real solution comes forth, so I see I am deliberately holding myself back from taking a new opportunity such as moving / living / working in another country due to placing attention on illusionary fears that are playing out in my head.

I commit myself to research how to get a job in the country I decided to work in.

I commit myself to use the time I have now to prepare myself for my move to another country by contacting people, contacting schools, researching the area / country and visa information, etc.

I commit myself to utilize the knowledge and information that my parents have about working in the system, specifically working abroad / in a new country since they have had experience.

I commit myself to look back in how I made it through my time at school in Prague and how I was able to “get by” and utilize the resources I had during that time to gain confidence in what I will be walking in the future.

I commit myself to investigate the back-chat of “the system is too hard” and “I can’t live on my own” through writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application to stop allowing these words to influence and control me.

I commit myself to stop participating in the imaginary play-outs, fears and concerns that go on in my head about me moving / living / working in another country as I see, realize and understand that I am deliberately holding myself back from taking a new opportunity such as moving / living / working in another country due to placing attention on illusionary fears and allowing these fears to control me and stop me from doing the necessary research to actually move / live / work in another country effectively.

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