Day 65: Postponing Responsibilities – Self Commitment Statements


A continuation from the previous blog post titled: Postponing Responsibilities

I commit myself to every day when I wake up in the morning to make sure I write down on a notepad the responsibilities I need to do within my day and from there, walk my day, making sure I fulfill those responsibilities as I practically as I can.

I commit myself to stop being lazy by disciplining myself to do my responsibilities as practically as I can on that day, making sure that the priorities get done first because I see, realize and understand that the consequences of not completing my responsibilities of the day is not cool and it’s unnecessary for me to postpone because I have to get the responsibilities done eventually so it’s best not to waste time.

I commit myself to investigate privately and self-honestly within myself why I do not want to do my responsibilities and utilize the tools of writing, self-forgiveness and self honesty to understand what is behind this avoidance and postponement pattern so I understand where it’s coming from and how to best  direct myself within the pattern so when the pattern of avoiding or postponing the responsibilities come up, I know how to handle / direct myself.

I commit myself to push myself daily to: write myself out to see what I am accepting and allowing and existing within and as, and push myself to use self-forgiveness to take responsibility of what I have existed in and as, and use and walk self-corrective statement to actually LIVE and BECOME  into and as that which is Best for All.

I commit myself to in writing, to make it clear for myself the importance of doing daily responsibilities, as well as what the outcome would be if I continue to do such responsibilities so if I ever fall into the same point / patterns again, I remind myself of what I realized / discovered / found out about the importance of doing such responsibilities and how supportive / cool it is for me.
 


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Day 64: Postponing Responsibilities

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be lazy within my application of doing responsibilities.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard my responsibilities and that which needs to get done today by postponing them into the night to the point where I justify that I ‘can’t’ do them because ‘it’s too late’ and ‘I need to go to sleep.’

Therefore, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I had deliberately created that pattern of postponing my responsibilities late into the night so I reach a point where it’s ‘too late’ meaning, it’s time for me to go to bed, when I clearly see I postponed my responsibilities late into the night so I don’t have to do them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the pattern of avoiding that which I need to do as my responsibilities until it is too late and I have to go to bed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to do my responsibilities instead of looking into the importance of doing them, such as the point of writing, where writing is where I see my programming and what I accept and allow so I can assist and support myself to re-direct and change who I am if I see that there is something that does not support me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to make it clear within myself the importance of doing these responsibilities daily and what the outcome would be if I continue to do such responsibilities in how they support/benefit me and the Group of Life, for I see, realize and understand that doing a responsibility such as self-writing every day is what will assist and support me in self-realization and self-change in my Journey to Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to do my responsibilities and postpone them, instead of looking at the importance of for example writing, where with writing, when I write I am able to see who I am and also see how I have created who I am, and in knowing / seeing who I am now and how I have become who I am now – I have equally the opportunity and ability to see how I can change that / what I have become if what I have become and who I am now is bothering me and not what I would like to be and exist as.

Day 53: Walking…



I made the decision to support me in my process of walking myself out of my Mind and into the Physical and within writing, I expose me to me and the abusive patterns I exist as and participate in so I face, understand and forgive myself in order to actually change and walk this process/journey to Life. However, within that I have this belief that this walk is going to be too much/too overwhelming because I see that within writing, I am going to open up a lot of points that require to be dealt with.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that walking my Journey to Life is going to be too much and to overwhelming for me to handle because I see, realize and understand that I have a lot of points to walk through and it is within writing that I will see and discover these points that must be dealt with and because I see that I must face the points existent within me, I go into resistance because I see that it’s not going to be an easy walk, but a walk that requires effort, dedication and consistency and I fear that I cannot do that – become the effort, dedication and consistency required to walk my process to its fullest extent. From this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself and my ability to walk process in and as effort, dedication and consistency because I have never in fact lived such words in my life.
I see, realize and understand that walking my process/Journey to Life is not going to be an easy journey because if it were, I would have been Life by now, so the best solution for me is to begin walking one point at a time in self honesty and walk it to its completion to make sure nothing is left behind as I realize that whatever I leave behind/ignore/suppress/deny will eventually come up again to be faced and dealt with, so it’s best to just take it on/deal with the point when it comes up. From this,
I commit myself to begin walking my Journey to Life taking one point at a time, walk it structurally for myself, first with writing it out, completely self honestly, making sure nothing is left behind/suppressed/ignored/denied – but be direct and get it out so that I can face it for what it is, and understand it so then I can walk myself through self forgiveness to release me of the point and then script practical, specific self-corrective statements within the context of what is Best for All so that I know exactly what I will do when the point comes up again.

So – to continue with the Sugar Point in my previous blog post, the point of eating comes through when I see in the moment I have the time to write but allow myself to postpone from doing it, and yet I realize that in order to become Life I must face and let go of all patterns/points that I’ve allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility to. So-
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek out and search for food when I know it is time to write and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use food as a preoccupation point to delay me from writing.
I see, realize and understand that I will eventually, inevitably face me in writing because I made the decision to assist and support myself to write every day so the food was just a procrastination point from doing what needed to get done. I also see, realize and understand that using food to hide me from facing me is futile as I am already Here with me and I cannot escape/hide from me and eating food to hide from me is really unnecessary as it creates unnecessary consequences for me and my body.
I commit myself to — when I find a moment/time to write, to not allow myself to go to food to delay me from doing such a task, but to instead walk myself to just DO IT and WRITE.
To be continued…
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Day 18: Opening Up Points Through Self Forgiveness

Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest resistance to writing and from that, postpone writing myself to freedom.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into self sabotage by not allowing myself to write myself freely and unconditionally as self expression of who I am in the moment but instead allowed myself to give into fear of writing and facing myself because within that I cannot run or hide away — I see who I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste a lot of time with myself up, hiding myself and my fear of writing/exposing and changing myself by watching TV, staying in bed longer, and sleeping.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to find a moment or time to sit down with myself write in peace with no distraction or people around me, as I see that I had used my environment with people around me as an excuse not to write because I would blame my current external environment as the reason why I cannot write to not take the responsibility to get up and go to a quieter area, such as my bedroom, and write in there, where I will not be bothered and distracted.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait up until this point to write, as I have allowed myself in moments to want to write, but allowed resistance and fear to take me over and I allowed myself to succumb to it. From this, I forgive myself that I have become enslaved to the fear of writing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge writing my 7 year journey to lifeblog as a good thing, giving writing as self support positive value, thus, from this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as bad if I did not write in the day.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give writing myself out to freedom with positive value, believing that it’s a good thing and that if I write myself out, I will be a better person and make it in process, all the while, judging it’s opposite, me not writing daily as “bad” and that I will not be able to make process because of it.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the process I am walking will take time, as who I have become is a result of time and me creating myself through time from accepting and allowing thoughts, emotions, reactions, words and behaviors to influence me and direct me into who I am today.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take the stand in becoming the directive principle of my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed thoughts to direct and control me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed emotions, such as fear, to control me, not realizing that fear is an illusion, it’s not real as it only exists in my head/in the mind, and yet I have allowed it to control me for such a long time within myself that I no londer accept and allow myself to give in/sucumb to fear as I realize every time I do I become more angrier with myself, realizing that fear is just a controlling illusion that I have accepted and allowed myself to enslave myself to.  It’s time that stops and I take the wheel and no longer allow myself to become a slave to fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear feeling fear in my stomach, believing that it’s scary and that I cannot control it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear in my stomach to control me and influence who I am and my behavior.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear sharing, opening, exposing and expressing who I am in my communication and participation with Desteni.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am only sabotaging myself and my process of self change if I continue to accept and allow myself to remain quiet, shy and fearful of sharing myself and exposing who I am and what I have realized to others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself and others .
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself and the group of Life by remaining quiet, hidden, and scared of sharing, expressing and exposing myself and who I am because I fear being seen and facing the reactions and responses from the Group of Life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a character of fear, who hides and keeps themselves hidden and in secret so that who I am is not exposed, instead of realizing that by participating in this character, I am sabotaging myself by supporting ego as self interest as abuse by keeping me to myself and not exposing myself.  I realize that by keeping quiet/being hidden, I do not allow assistance and support from others to come through that will support me in self change.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest a whole slew of emotions of anxiety, worry and depression in relation to time and effectively using my time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger about not utilizing myself in time effectively because I realize that I am just sabotaging myself and cycling into the same abuse that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in before. 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone what was required to be done in the moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain and whine about what I have to do instead of JUST DOING IT because I see that there is no point complaining and whining because what matters is to get what is required to get done, done.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my purpose here is to bring about a world best for all with the Group of Life and that anything else is really irrelevant as the job here is to get this new system implemented so that ALL as me may enjoy Life.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how simple and enjoyable writing self forgiveness can be if I just allow myself to find a time to sit with me alone, undistracted and allow myself to write myself out self honestly about what I’m experiencing within myself and what I have accepted and allowed myself to do and become.
I understand that I have opened up a lot of points here.  The purpose of this blog was essentially to ‘let go’ and just type out what comes up from within me in self forgiveness. It’s cool cause I now see what to work with in the future blog posts.