Day 188: Fear of Flying Support

I spent the weekend in another state and thus had to fly. I walked writings in relation to the fear of flying before and realized the best I can do for myself is to relax my body, accept the moment and do my thing/keep busy while flying, because I have no control of the plane. Flying is just another form of transportation, like taking a train or a boat, except you are in the air and experience the occasional turbulence.

About turbulence… this was what I really didn’t like at first, and I would go into instant emotional reactions when I would feel the slightest bumps and dips of the plane and when it became more moderate would go into tons of stress. I began practicing to breathe, to stop projecting what may come and be here, allowing myself to “embrace” the turbulence so to speak, and this assisted and supported me in accepting it, allowing it to come and go. I understand that I can’t do anything about it, so I have to accept it.

Another point is also that I had the tendency to before flying to go into “what-if” scenarios while on the plane ride. After listening to the EQAFE interview Death Research: Plane Crash interviews I learned it’s best not to entertain these fears and I have found this type of participation/entertainment within the mind only perpetuates fear and does absolutely nothing to support me, but actually makes me feel “worse” or more nervous and anxious . So, I practiced with stopping participation by breathing and not allowing the particular thoughts to continue. I would tell myself I can only trust/embrace this moment, and take things moment by moment. It’s really the truth – I really can’t predict reality, I can’t tell you what’s going to happen in the next five minutes (unless I deliberately plan to do something) – reality is unpredictable so the best I see is to take things moment by moment – stop the projections and fears about flying and just be here in the moment, doing your thing.

To make myself relax on the plane, I would at times read a magazine or rest my eyes. I do suggest for those who are “nervous fliers” to do something you enjoy on the plane, that makes you relax and/or keeps you focused. Much time went by when I would read.

Medicine or medication can be a bridge to assist those nervous/anxious fliers. Flying can also make one a bit sick so sitting over the wing of the plane and/or taking motion-sickness pills may help.

In time to come I will add more support, but this is all I see at this moment. I have to get some unpacking done tonight now. Thanks for reading.

Check out these awesome sites that supported me:

Journey to Life Blogs:
Journey to Life 

FREE Self-Help Interviews:
EQAFE Downloads

FREE Self-Development/Life Skills Course:
DIP Lite

Awesome Life & Living Support:
Desteni Website

Desteni Wiki
Desteni Forum
EQAFE – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Advertisements

Day 184: How I Allowed Another’s Words to Influence Me

Continuing from:    Surprise Text

The basic context of one memory I have is where I am nervous/anxious/uncomfortable around X and when I saw them and their mother last year.

This person sits on the couch and I didn’t want to sit by them yet don’t want to leave the room completely, so I sat by the table. I was afraid to leave or else they would make a comment or judge me about it and I would take it personally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hesitate within uncertainty about where to sit by not wanting to be too close where I have to be involved in the conversation and yet far away so I don’t appear cold instead of sorting out my problem in the first place: not wanting to be around this certain person

I realize that I have a resistance towards this person, which is why I didn’t want to sit or be near them. I wanted to essentially be cut out of the conversation because I didn’t know what to say and I was sure this person and I really couldn’t discuss anything since we don’t meet eye to eye on many topics. However, I realize they are showing something about me to me, when I react to what I see X is doing, that indicated I exist in that which I reacted in some way or another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uncertain as to what to do while in the presence of this person because I have resistance to talk to them because I define who they are negatively and thus don’t want to be around them instead of realizing I am holding onto memories and using them to justify why this person is the way they is thus I have nothing to do with it, instead of realizing my responsibility towards this – that any thought, opinion or judgement I have towards another is what I need to take responsibility for as these things are abusive to life on earth

I realize that no judgement or thought or opinion is harmless – they contribute and support the mind consciousness system that is built on separation and resourcing energy from the physical to feed its existence in self-interest with no consideration of others and it is my participation within the MCS that cause consequences towards life on earth

Why do I fear this person? Oh yes, now I remember, they use to call me names! Yes, they use to call me ‘dork’ a lot…okay, so yes, they use to place judgements on me when I was younger, in my teenage years, online and also in person when I would for example express myself a certain way. I for example took a ‘selfie’ of myself once and there was a trash can full of trash in the background and someone pointed it out and then this person called me a ‘dork’ about it. I define ‘dork’ as someone being gullible and naïve and a bit stupid, like someone who does things without thinking first/considering things first and then the consequence is that this person looks stupid for what they did. When I was called that I would go in a state of negative energy, feeling ‘bad’ for myself.

In the dictionary dork is defined in two ways:
1. Slang. a silly, out-of-touch person who tends to look odd or behave ridiculously around others; a social misfit: If you make me wear that, I’ll look like a total dork! Synonyms: jerk, schmo; nerd, geek.
2. Slang: Vulgar. penis.

It’s interesting how I took another’s words and charged it with energy and defined myself according to what I percived being a ‘dork’ really is. I allowed it to effect who I was on a self-confidence level. I was young and this person was an older adult and I easily accepted/allowed their words and comments to define me.

So cool this point opened up cause I couldn’t understand why I feared this person so much/why I saw myself less than them and I see a part of this was because I had not let go of this point of being called names and judged by them when I was younger. I allowed myself to take that personally since I had no education or skills on how to develop self confidence.

Okay, this will be continued, thanks for reading…

Check out these awesome sites that supported me:

Journey to Life Blogs:
Journey to Life 

FREE Self-Help Interviews:
EQAFE Downloads

FREE Self-Development/Life Skills Course:
DIP Lite

Awesome Life & Living Support:
Desteni Website

Desteni Wiki
Desteni Forum
EQAFE – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Enhanced by Zemanta

Day 180: Trusting Myself and the Process of a Language Exam

Yesterday I had prominent constipation and did some research regarding what this could be since I had in my perspective been eating enough fiber and drinking water. I looked at the point of how I have been projecting me taking a big language exam that’s coming up and freezing up in fear because there is a speaking part to it, and I fear to fail it. I am grateful that this morning my partner pointed out some things in relation to the fear and I saw within myself how I am studying, I am practicing speaking and having conversations in the language and I do have opportunities to take the exam over again if I need to. I was able to relax and after our chat I had a bowel movement free of constipation. I see what is best for me is to relax and trust myself and the exam that is to come.

(Later that day I had a conversation with my partner’s mother in the language I am being tested on and my partner said that I should pass the speaking part of test since I was able to hold a conversation with her. I found it cool to receive this feedback.)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project me standing in front of the testers and freezing up in fear not knowing how to speak a statement or ask a question in the language I am being tested on

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto a memory of when I was given pictures to speak the commands of in the language I am being tested on and freezing up in fear because I did not know how to word or phrase the commands instead of realizing I had not been entirely educated with this point and require to study and understand how to do this

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to instead of tensing/freezing up in fear when I encounter words and statements within a language I do not know support myself to study and understand them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto a memory of when I was given pictures to ask questions from in the language I am being tested on within a group activity and reacting in fear because I did not have the vocabulary within me to formulate/structure the sentence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that just because I did not know how to formulate and structure a sentence or a question from words of another language at that time doesn’t mean I can’t understand them now. I realize that through studying I have integrated more words and phrases of the language than before.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that through tensing and ‘freezing’ up my muscles in fear and not trusting the process of how the exam will unfold for me I consequentially manifest constipation

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to relax myself within my body in regards to studying and preparing for the exam, taking things as they are and trusting me when I take the exam through accepting what I know at this stage within my language and conversational skills

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to trust the exam process through accepting within myself that I will walk the test to the best of my ability and take it moment by moment walking it as me within what I understand and know

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project me having failed the test and feeling defeated, thinking and manipulating myself into depression through thinking I paid all this money and traveled all this way for nothing instead of realizing I am setting myself up for failure, expecting me to fail to fuel this belief I will fail simply because I am scared of the speaking part of the exam instead of looking how far I’ve come and how much I expanded myself within my language skills

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be nervous about the speaking part of the exam because speaking has been the one activity I have not participated in that much so I do not have much experience and confidence and am afraid I won’t be able to formulate my words and sentences correctly instead of realizing this is a cross-reference for me that I need to practice more conversations the language.  I see, realize and understand that through practicing speaking with my partner and listening to others speak the language, my partner provided feedback about being impressed by my conversation/speaking skills. I continue to study, learn and practice until the big day and breathe through the fears and projections within realizing I am practicing and thus will trust what comes my way by knowing that I will do what I can to pass the test.

I commit myself to accept the test and the process of taking the test as it comes, walking it as me within what I know and understand to the best of my ability

I commit myself to within acceptance of the exam and what I know, relax myself within my body as I realize tensing and freezing up my muscles will make the experience uncomfortable

I commit myself to assist and support myself with areas I am weak in with the language I am learning so I become more confident in it

When and as I see myself project me freezing up during the conversational/speaking part of the exam, I stop, I breathe and I let it go because I realize this projection a memory of when I did freeze up when faced with a language activity I didn’t know how to participate in because of lack of vocabulary and knowledge on what to say, and I realize I have through time integrated more words and have practiced speaking and I continue to walk and learn and expand myself within this language

I commit myself to assist and support me in expanding my speaking/conversational skills within the language through listening and participating in conversations

Check out these awesome sites that supported me:

Journey to Life Blogs:
Journey to Life 

FREE Self-Help Interviews:
EQAFE Downloads

FREE Self-Development/Life Skills Course:
DIP Lite

Awesome Life & Living Support:
Desteni Website

Desteni Wiki
Desteni Forum
EQAFE – Self-Perfection Merchandise