235. Got Money Problems in Your Relationship?

Today my partner and I went shopping for pillows and pillowcases. We found our pillows and then found a really soft, silky pillowcase that we really liked and wanted to get. We saw that the only way to purchase the pillowcase was to get it through as package which included the bed sheet too. However, once we saw the price my partner became iffy/uncertain to get it.

From there what happened was that I went into a reaction because I wanted to get this set/package because how I saw it was that we both really wanted it originally and that we could afford it. However, a flood of reactions came through because my husband wasn’t on the same page as me — he actually was looking at whether it is worth it to buy a pillow set like this at the price it was at.

From this, we both become reactive because we weren’t on the same page when it came to purchasing/not purchasing the pillow set. And in our relationship we have that tendency to react easily when it comes to money because we both grew up in different environments and different ways of working with money. For me, for example, coming from a family who would use the credit card a lot and become a little careless about spending whereas my partner’s family come from a mindset of saving every penny, and only buying necessities. So, money is certainty an issue and process we are both walking…

However, to get to my point, we were both obviously not on the same page and reactive. What I realized was that this would only continue (us being reactive and not coming to a solution/answer about the pillowcase point) unless we really talk this out and come up with a practical solution. But what I saw was that I could not get to that point of talking to my partner in stability, I knew what I had to do — I need to apply Self-Forgiveness and release myself of the emotions, otherwise I would end up speaking from/as reactions.

So I took a break from my partner and spoke Self-Forgiveness under my breath. As I spoke I realized I had such a huge desire to get this pillowcase and was angry my partner was not fulfilling this desire to immediately buy it. I was in self-interest, only considering my want and not what would be best for us.  Once I was stable and okay, I went back to my partner and shared with him what I realized. From there on our communication became stable and we were both cool with the decision we made.

So, I’d like to share that when it comes to not being on the same page with your partner and you need to solve a problem, to first apply self-forgiveness on your reactions towards the point and this allows common sense to open up within it and then you can share and work with your partner in finding a practical solution for the both of you. Self-Forgiveness is so cool, give it a shot sometime.

Thanks for reading.

Additional support with communication in relationships:

VIDEO: Communication in Relationships

(Image Source)

 Educational & Supportive Websites:
Journey to Life Blogs:     Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery
Self & Living: Solutions to Personal Every Day Problems
EQAFE.com  Self-Improvement Interviews
DIP Lite:  Free Self-Development Online Course
Desteni I Process: Online Self-Mastery Course at it’s Finest

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Day 33: Health Fanatic Within

The point of health has been really prominent within me these last couple of days.   I’ve been experiencing a lot of reactions regarding the point of health and I’ve been ‘attempting’ eat what I think is healthy, but I end up eating that which I judge as “not healthy” and cycle into anger and guilt within myself.
So today after I came home I decided to finally listen to EQAFE‘s mp3 interview of a being who was a Health Fanatic and the realizations they had while walking their process. Nonetheless it was a fascinating and real cool interview I suggest all listen to – [ click here to download mp3 ]
A couple of points stood out to me – one was the connection between healthy food and spirituality and that they are both interdependent on each other and that it’s no surprise that the health industry and spirituality go hand in hand because as one can see many spiritual people (like raw foodists for example) are quite spiritual and present themselves and their words in a positive spotlight. And this type of eating is really geared for the elite as only the elite, or those with a lot of money, are able to buy the newest health foods/fads and machinery.  This I can relate to as I was a raw vegan foodist for a few months and spent much of my money on health foods and powders meant to be ‘good’ for the body but I would end up constipated and in pain.  During that phase I was losing weight and ‘feeling great’ but that was because I was attaching all these positive associations and energetic experiences with what I was doing to myself – everything from eating certain foods to exercising a certain way,  to laying out in the sun – not realizing that within it all I was really deluding myself, was too much in my Mind, spiritualizing everything and not sticking here to physical reality.  [I will write about who I was as a ‘temporary’ raw foodist in blog posts to come.]

So while hearing this interview I had these “oh!” moments where I realized that I was about to walk into this health-fanatic path again, especially since today I was considering going back into the routine of drinking green juices every morning and eating salads in afternoon so I can lose weight and ‘feel good’ about myself not realizing that if I walk down that path I’m going to screw myself up again with spiritualizing food and getting real strict on my body so I could maintain a certain image and experience of myself.  And it was just real cool to catch myself within this because like I mentioned before I was walking myself back into that whole eat-healthy-food character personality that I know will eventually lead me to becoming obsessed and possessed with health food again, which in itself is no where supportive for me or process.  And the whole starting point of it all was to – lose weight so I could feel better about myself.  [Ding ding ding – the bells are ringing- the point of self-esteem and self confidence is definitively a point to explore and walk through.]
The being in the interview mentioned that the way he took care of his body was actually of physical abuse – basically spoon feeding the body healthy foods and supplements in a particular routine without considering the body and what it physically needs and craves.   He said that even though he was in shape and looked good, he was actually physically weak, and his body would send signals like cramps indicating that he requires to eat food – real food.   But the problem was that he was too much in his head in this illusionary experience of himself because of the energetic experiences he allowed himself to participate in.
The being says the most important relationship one can have is with themselves and with their physical body and the body is a living being with it’s own processes and it is my responsibility to take care of it.
He also gave very simple advice that I would like to share – 
Throw ‘health’ out the window. Stop judging food.  Moderation is key. Consider your body and what it would like to eat.  An on going process, one day the body may want to eat cheese, the next day, something completely different.  It all depends on what it craves and physically needs to nourish itself [and as a note here, this ‘craving’ is like a physical craving, not a mind-crave where one desires to eat something to gain a particular energetic experience within themselves].

So there is definitely a lot to write about and share regarding this point of food/health and the body, so more to come!
Thanks for reading.