Continuing from: Day 127: Investigating the word “Harsh”
Support on what I am walking today:
I have, when speaking the word harsh would use it in context to judge something. For example, the saying “that’s harsh” I am implying that what I see as harsh I am judging, specifically in a sense of judging something or someone for an action that was done as if I have a right to judge that something or someone. In a sense I am also blaming that something or someone in separation of myself for what they did. Within that, I would see myself as superior to and better than which I am judging/seeing/defining as harsh, so I am within the polarity of superiority and inferiority.
I had a friend who would also say something similar “that’s harsh” but make fun of it in a way, and I would react in anger towards her for acting like that, judging and acting arrogant. My friendship with her was quite abusive, but that’s another point to write about later. I don’t recall ever saying to someone directly that they’re harsh.
To imagine being said I’m harsh I react in fear because I believe/find/see that word as something bad, that if I am harsh that is a bad thing, like that’s something you shouldn’t be at all. It goes against an idea I have of who I am, self-definitions and beliefs of myself of trying to be/look like this good person lol. It’s interesting when I am the one saying the word harsh I feel powerful, superior, like I have a right to say whatever I want, better than all, but when I am the receiver of the word I react in fear.
Harsh – I even connect to punishment. To me the word harsh is connected to severe punishment, with lots of pain and agony. I also connect this to whipping, like in the history of America with slavery and the white men as masters whipping black slaves – I must have seen this in a movie since I have a picture of it in my head. That’s harsh” I define it so. The word to me is negatively charged and something I experience fear towards.
I will continue with this point tomorrow by walking the next step in re-defining the word “Harsh”…