227. Expressing and Standing in my Words

Continuation from:
Day 224: To become a Leader… 
Day 225: Fear of Being Disliked
Day 226: Who am I if I Just Want to Please Others?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so afraid about expressing myself and who I am really in front of others because I am afraid to be judged and criticized, thus indicating to me that I have yet to be able to stand in my own shoes and be able to stand within what I express/speak, because I realize if I am really 100% absolute in what I speak of and stand for, and am that exactly, then others words should not influence/effect me because I would know who I am

I commit myself to investigate the memories, thoughts and emotions that are hindering/preventing me from being able to stand within who I am and what I stand for

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of speaking to friends about politics and how the world is really not a great place, that there is some serious shit we as humanity need to fix because I am afraid they are going to counter act or fight against what I speak and share because of memories of family members speaking up against what I have found in this world

I commit myself to walk through the memories and fears I have of when my mom and I got into a conflict after something I had intimatly expressed with her because I realize I found it to really be a vulnerable part of me that I hadn’t expressed with my mom before and did but then took her reactions/responses to what I’ve shared personally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking about solutions to the world system to my mother because I fear she not agreeing with me, and actually making me feel like I’m dumb and stupid, not realizing only I can make myself feel that way, that I can only make me believe and feel stupid for speaking up

I commit myself to realize that what I stand for — which is a solution of creating a world best for all, which starts with changing the money system, is going to take a lot of courage and guts to stick with and stand for this since it goes against many people’s programming and thoughts about how the world works, but because I know it is the only way to really bring a world best for all, it is my responsibility as a human being to make sure that I am clear with what I stand for, to be that +1 of support, so that whatever anyone says to me I do not crumble into criticism or judgement, but stand with who I am and what I support

I do stand for a money system where all are taken care of, where all are provided enough financially to live comfortable lives. Of course that is not what we have today and many people may actually disagree with having such a system, but I would like one, and it takes courage to stand up for something like this because it is new, it is different, and is something that will make big differences in the lives of others, I simply can see that I have fears of hearing others words of disagreement and judgement towards what I stand for

Within this, I realize that the criticism, judgements and fears I’m afraid people are to say to me, like me being dumb or stupid for supporting such a cause/group/way is because I have personal connections, memories and associations to the words dumb and stupid, where I allow those words to really affect me and thus I require to redefine them, so from this, I commit myself to redefine the words DUMB and STUPID

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having others shut me down and criticize me, mocking me for what I stand for, not realizing I have yet to build the strength within me to be able to NOT allow others words get to me, and that this indicates that I require more education and understanding to strengthen and build myself and my stance so that when or if others ask questions, or criticize or judge what I have shared/expressed I have information and/or preparation on how to direct myself in such situations

I commit myself to assist and support me to build inner strength within what I stand and do, and I first do this by writing out what I stand for, and then work with how to stand with what I stand for and prepare myself for any back lash or conflict from others on my expression by understanding my weaknesses first so that I turn my weaknesses into strengths

Within this, I see, realize and understand I simply need to educate myself more on what exactly I stand for, and walk through any fears, emotions, and thoughts I have towards what others may think or say about what I stand for, to prepare myself and give myself direct on what I will do and say when/if situations of conflict or discussion occur, where I express myself completely within consideration of my words, behavior and interaction with others, so I do not compromise myself and stick to what I see is self-honest and best for all in the moment

I commit myself to educate myself more on my mind, the mind consciousness system in general, and solutions to our global money system so that I have more knowledge and information to support me in my decisions of where I stand and what I stand for

(Image Source)


Educational & Supportive Websites:
Journey to Life Blogs:     Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery
Self & Living: Solutions to Personal Every Day Problems
EQAFE.com  Self-Improvement Interviews
DIP Lite:  Free Self-Development Online Course
Desteni I Process: Online Self-Mastery Course at it’s Finest
Relationship Agreement Course: Empower Yourself, Strengthen your Relationships

224: To Become a Leader…

I got the chance to organize an event for international women to come together, meet and make new friends at a nice restaurant. Since I was the organizer I got there early and planned to make sure I greet everyone who comes, as well as say goodbye, and get to know as many women as I could. This opportunity also allowed me to make new friends in the city I am living in, which is really cool!

So, there are many points I’d like to share that I have discovered and realized when I attended this event, but I will take one point and write about it in its own post blog over a series of blog about becoming a leader, or an effective organizer of a group. Because since I am the leader/creator/organizer of the group, I realize I have a lot of responsibility, not only from a managerial side, but from a standing-within-principle side, where it is my duty and responsibility to treat each member of this group the way I would like to be treated, and to become the organizer/leader of the group that stands within principles of what is best for all. This means, no judging of any member, speaking within support and never gossip, accepting and welcoming all who are interested, and stopping any form of comparison or competition within me.

Because I have seen these points come up in my face as I interacted with the ladies in the group. I saw how my mind went into judgement, into comparison, into not feeling good enough/self esteem issues, into worry about people not liking me, into competition towards other woman… points that I saw that are not cool and not what should exist in an organizer/leader of a group.

I met with an individual the other day and thought that they were very judgmental and it made me realize that I don’t want to be like that as a person/leader. Then later someone assisted me to see how I within that had actually done exactly that — I was judging the other person for judging, which I didn’t see when I was in the situation –  thus showing me exactly that what I had seen in another still exists in myself and I could confirm the realization that: that this is not the kind of leader I want to be, and  I still have work to do in myself to create myself as the leader I want to be.

So — I am going to from here on start a blog series focusing on becoming and creating myself into an organizer/leader that stands and exists within the principles of what is best for all.

Educational & Supportive Websites:
Journey to Life Blogs:     Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery
EQAFE.com  Free Self-Improvement Interviews
DIP Lite:  Free Self-Development Online Course
Desteni I Process: Online Self-Mastery Course at it’s Finest
Relationship Agreement Course: Empower Yourself, Strengthen your Relationships
Desteni Website  Understanding the Human Mind, Oneness & Equality
Desteni Wiki Structured, Organized Information about Self & Solutions
Desteni Forum  Forum with interactive support, resources and tools 

Day 203: The Idea I Must Know EVERYTHING – Part 2

Continuing from:
Day 202: The Idea I Must Know EVERYTHING

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others when I do not receive enough/any information that I requested from them because they don’t know/don’t have that information because I realize that I expected and believed that they know the answer and when they don’t GIVE ME what I wanted/the information, I react. I realize that I make it an emotional point in my mind if someone I think/believed/judged has the answer does not actually have it. I do not want to hold expectations or ideas about what people may know just like I don’t want people to place expectations on me but I see if others have shown/proven what they are skilled/knowledgeable at in a certain area that’s cool cause then I can see where they are knowledgeable at but not make it emotional if they can’t provide the support I require

So, now what opened up is the pattern of: when I do not get/receive the answers/information I want I react within judgement and/or the emotion like irritation. There is one example where I asked someone about a famous building, wanting to know some history behind it and the person could not answer my question (they did not know) and I went into judgement, expecting them to know and I assumed/got the idea they should know about this building because of how long they’ve been living around the area. However, when I got to know the person I found out that despite being close to the famous building they rarely walked by it and got to know about it due to their life and living experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into judgement when another does not have the information or answer I expect from them instead of realizing I formed an idea/opinion about them that they know the answer and I put my trust into this idea instead of actually cross-referencing with reality by asking them genuinely if they have any information or answers, and within this I realized I had trusted an idea in my mind that they do know the answer/have the information based on assumptions according to who they are and where they live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust the ideas in my mind about another having a certain amount of knowledge or information simply from assumptions I made up due to ideas I gathered according to how I perceive who they are, where they are from, their life/etc and when those ideas to do not match up to reality I react

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect and WANT an answer from another when I ask them a question and when they don’t have the answer for me, I react in anger and frustration and within this I realize I have the desire to want things NOW and when I don’t get things I want NOW (like answers) I react not realizing it’s me as the mind throwing the tantrum because I am not getting my desire fulfilled immediately and thus must be patient and consider the other person/situation which means I must set aside my self-interest and the desire of getting what I want immediately and consider reality and the people I am around.

I can see how the point of reacting when I don’t get things my way influences who I am within and around others. This is a point I am going to flag point and walk through in other blog posts. I am going to right now just focus on judgement when I do not receive the answers or information I need/want.

Self-Commitments & Self-Corrective Statements:

When and as I see myself go into stress expecting me to know a lot of information about a topic/subject within a short period of time, I stop, I breathe and I do not allow myself participate anymore in the stress and self-pressure but focus on my breathing and relaxing my body as I realize that it will be a space-time process of learning and educating myself where it will take time to do this and thus I commit myself to stop expecting and placing pressure on myself for needing/having to learn a lot of information within a certain time period and simply organize my time to walk each point of information I need to know/educate myself on within my own self-study pace as practical as I can, letting go of any stress or tension as I realize I can only really take in so much information at a time

When and as I see myself go into self-judgement about “I should have known this/I should know this because I live here” I stop, I breathe and I do not allow myself to participate in the judgement as I realize this point comes from my ex-boyfriend who made judgement/criticism about my lack of knowledge on my town and I took that personally and from this I realize that while it’s helpful/supportive to be aware and know one’s place of residence/area it doesn’t mean self is less than or inadequate to another if one doesn’t have certain information/knowledge on one’s town/residential area, it simply means self doesn’t have the knowledge/information existent within them and so, is supportive to learn for oneself more about their place of residence

I commit myself to educate myself on my residential area so I am aware of what is around me and if any fear or doubt towards not knowing something about my residential area comes up, I EDUCATE MYSELF so I know the answers/know about my area

When and as I see myself react in fear and/or helplessness towards not having information/knowledge about a certain part or building of my residential area I stop, I breathe and I do not allow myself to participate in the fear/helplessness as I realize that I do not have the information/knowledge existent within me thus there is no point to react to this point as I realize I am not perfect and I cannot give everyone all answers as I am also new to this area so I am still in the process of learning myself, so I commit myself to give myself a break and stop beating myself up for not having enough information/knowledge to please/satisfy another’s question as I am still in the learning process myself, learning about my area, and so within this, I can use what I do not know about my area to actually seek out the answers so I can assist myself and another in learning more about my area

I commit myself to let go of any judgement I may have towards another who does not know the answer or can provide information/knowledge that I want/would like to know as I realize that this point of judging another for not having information comes from my upbringing in school or family whereas if I do not have answers the possibility of being judged or ridiculed is most likely when really the point behind this is competition/survival of the fittest and ‘who knows it all,’ because the one with most knowledge and information succeeds and does well in school/the system.

I commit myself to investigate the “Give Me What I Want” character/personality as I realize it is harmful and spiteful to exist within it as I only consider myself and my wants instead of others, equal to/as me

I commit myself to accept the reality that: if someone doesn’t have an answer for me, they don’t have an answer for me, and thus I take it on myself to seek for the answer myself or assist the other in finding the answer for me

I commit myself to ask specific questions to see if I can receive the specific information/knowledge/assistance I require

When and as I experience the desire/energy of wanting an answer NOW I stop, I breathe and I do not allow myself to participate anymore in this energy as I realize that it’s a self-interest point where I am driven to get things my way now instead of considering space-time reality and others. Thus I commit myself to practice and live patience within my day to day life by first exploring and redefining the word myself and then practice becoming it in fact, all the while breathing and practising remaining here when I see myself go into energy/emotion of wanting to get an answer NOW.

Check out these sites that are full of support:

Journey to Life Blogs

FREE Self-Help Interviews:
EQAFE Downloads

FREE Self-Development/Life Skills Course:
DIP Lite

Awesome Life & Living Support:
Desteni Website

Desteni Wiki
Desteni Forum

Day 202: The Idea I Must Know EVERYTHING

I am not confident to walk my word redefinition blogs publicly and require my DIP buddy’s cross-reference before I publish, so I am going to open another point that has been pretty apparent and really came up to the surface today.

The point is that I have placed a lot of pressure on myself to be a type of person who holds a lot of knowledge and information about the city I am now living in for people who will be visiting me in the coming weeks and I’ve held this idea that I must know a lot about the city because of a fear of them asking me questions and me not being able to answer them. So, thus fearing the reactions or judgements of others if I am unable to answer or give historical information on the places I will be showing them around.

I see I have done this (judging others) in other aspects of my life, judging others for not having the knowledge and information I thought they had and wanted from them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place pressure on myself within the idea that I MUST store/have within me enough knowledge and information so I can satisfy questions that others have about where I live because of the idea that since I live here I must have a certain amount of knowledge and information about it

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I got this idea of having to know all things about where I live from my ex-boyfriend who judged me for not knowing the street names of my town instead of realizing that I allowed myself to take his words personally and believe me to be at fault because I did not align or match up to what he expected of me through his own mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to provide a good enough answer to satisfy someone’s questions instead of realizing that I only have and can answer what I know/am aware of in the moment and thus use this fear to actually study and learn about where I live so I can support me with understanding my city/surroundings and assist another if they want to learn about it as well

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others to judge me if I cannot provide them with enough information to satisfy their needs instead of realizing that I have judged others if I expect them to know something when they don’t

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others when I do not receive enough/any information that I requested from them because they don’t know/don’t have that information because I realize that I expected and believed that they know the answer and when they don’t GIVE ME what I wanted/the information, I react. I realize that I make it an emotional point in my mind if someone I think/believed/judged has the answer does not actually have it. I do not want to hold expectations or ideas about what people may know just like I don’t want people to place expectations on me but I see if others have shown/proven what they are skilled/knowledgeable at in a certain area that’s cool cause then I can see where they are knowledgeable at but not make it emotional if they can’t provide the support I require

Will continue in the next post, thanks for reading.

[Image Source]

Check out these sites that are full of support:

Journey to Life Blogs

FREE Self-Help Interviews:
EQAFE Downloads

FREE Self-Development/Life Skills Course:
DIP Lite

Awesome Life & Living Support:
Desteni Website

Desteni Wiki
Desteni Forum

Day 194: Judgements Over Looks & Age

Memory: When I was at a bridal boutique and the worker said she was turning 32 and I had an experience of “I should say something” and I blurted out “oh you don’t look 32.” Then I reacted in guilt, shame and embarrassment. I know that what I said was not supportive because I was making a statement that if one is over 30/32 that one should look a certain way, and that within my comment it’s like I was saying she should be proud or feel better about how she looks for her age.

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge another for how one looks according to their age instead of realizing that age is only a number and that a person’s looks/physical features depend on their diet, lifestyle, biology and environment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel obligated about having to say something/speak up when another shares their age in a manner/tone that I interpret as being shameful/embarrassing to make them feel better instead of realizing to compliment someone is a band-aid to make one feel temporary better and does not actually support me or them in developing and realizing self-confidence/self-acceptance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved and directed by the idea that I should compliment or comment to another woman that she doesn’t look her age since I’ve seen it before on tv and in life with women in my world interacting with other woman

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that I need to compliment and make a positive comment toward another after they have given me such positive comments and compliments instead of accepting the comments and compliments, let them go and continue walking/being here in the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for saying to another woman that she doesn’t look her age because I thought what I did was wrong – that I should never comment about a woman’s age

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be embarrassed after saying to another woman she doesn’t look like her age because I believed I made myself look stupid and ignorant since I have education and knowledge on how irrelevant it is to compliment another’s looks or age as this is not important in relation to who they are and what they have done in their life and so, I realize I was embarrassed because that ‘educated’ part of me was dropped and I perceived I looked stupid instead

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be embarrassed about telling another woman she looks good for her age because the self-definition I had of myself of “I respect all woman and I don’t judge them for their age or looks” was not validated for myself since my actions went against ideas of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in shame over telling another woman she doesn’t look like her age because I knew I was implying that being at her age she should look older/different and thus she looks ‘good’ and from that, know that it was only fueling opinion that comes from a history of being fed by the media on what looks good, what doesn’t and how one must fear/react towards getting older and from this, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to let go of the urge to speak up and ‘compliment’ the other woman on her looks by breathing and moving onto what I had to do next as I realize age is really not a big deal unless you give it value/make it a big deal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an opinion about another in how they look and that they do not look like ‘their age’ as if being a certain age means you look a certain way, instead of realizing this is complete B.S. and comes from when I read beauty magazines that said how one should start wearing anti-aging creams in their late twenties to start preventing wrinkles and that ‘turning 30’ is a really big deal because it will affect one’s looks

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe it’s customary for another woman to compliment/comment positively on how young another looks when their age is given instead of realizing participating in such comments/compliments only fuels and supports a system where people compare, compete, fear about their looks according to their age, fueling insecurity about oneself so corporations can make tons of money off products people buy to look and stay young

Will continue with more insights, self-corrective statements and commitments in the next blog post. Thanks for reading.


Check out these sites that are full of support:

Journey to Life Blogs:
Journey to Life 

FREE Self-Help Interviews:
EQAFE Downloads

FREE Self-Development/Life Skills Course:
DIP Lite

Awesome Life & Living Support:
Desteni Website

Desteni Wiki
Desteni Forum
EQAFE – Self-Perfection Merchandise
 

Enhanced by Zemanta

Day 174: My Friends are Happy but I’m Unhappy

I was around 10, in the car with girls or “my friends” from my class. The girls were being loud in the car, talking. They sounded happy.

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seperate myself from my friends through defining them as “happy” and me “unhappy” and from this, continue to manipulate myself in charging the negative experience within me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my friend’s expressions, my friend’s enjoyment/happiness because I wasn’t enjoying me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not enjoy me with my friends because I did not let the anger go I had from me going to this party I didn’t want to go to

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that I made a mistake and that the result/consequence of me being here at this party I didn’t want to go to was due to my decision and thus I must accept it because I made myself be here and from this acceptance, I either leave or enjoy myself here otherwise I will continue to exist within a negative state of mind/experience and miss out on moments/opportunities where I can have fun and enjoy myself

When and as I see myself judging or defining others as being “happy” and me “unhappy,” I stop, breathe because I realize I am manipulating myself to fuel the negative experience within me where I don’t give myself the opportunity to express, explore, enjoy and expand me in the moment.

Therefore, I commit to assist and support myself to investigate what I am “unhappy” with so that I can find the point and direct it accordingly through self-honesty, common sense and the practical Desteni tools of self-correction/change.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to when I see myself angry about an issue that I had not let go of, to look within the point as to why I haven’t let it go – what is it about this point and the excuses/reasons/justifications that come up that I use to not let this go, and assit and support myself through self-honest writing and self-forgiveness to understand the point and use self-corrective statements and application to let it go. I see, realize and understand that if I do not let the anger go, the energy will over time accumulate and consequentially effect my physical body and health.

I commit myself to learn from my mistakes through understanding how I made them in the first place, by asking who was I when I made this decision I regretted, what did I do/who was involved/what was I thinking/existing within, so that I am clear on what to do next time when I encounter/walk into a similar situation again.

When and as I see myself at a party or event that I am not enjoying myself at, I breathe and investigate how can I assist and support myself here where I can make the best of this moment and enjoy myself. Within consideration of where I’m at and who I am with, I assess for myself whether leaving is the appropriate/best option or if I am not enjoying myself because of internal mind points I use self-supportive tools of self-forgiveness and self-correcting application to assist me in immediate change.

Will continue with more self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements/commitments in the next blog post.

Check out these awesome sites:

Journey to Life Blogs:
Journey to Life 

FREE Self-Help Interviews:
EQAFE Downloads

FREE Self-Development/Life Skills Course:
DIP Lite

Awesome Life & Living Support:
Desteni Website

Desteni Wiki
Desteni Forum
EQAFE – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Enhanced by Zemanta

Day 173: Feeling Left out With Friends

Man thinking on a train journey.
Man thinking on a train journey. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Continuing from:
Day 172: Going to a Party You Don’t Want to Go To

I am taking this memory apart and exposing points/patterns I accepted and allowed myself to exist in:

I was around 10, in the car with girls or “my friends” from my class. The girls were being loud in the car, talking. 
They sounded happy. I in my mind projected myself separate from them in the car, with me being a distance away from them while in reality I was tightly shoved by the window next to my friend

  • Idea/Belief to be separate from the girls due to an Experience that feels as if I am in fact separate from the girls as what they show/embody in their expression which in this case was ‘happiness’.
  • Accepting and allowing me to be, see and define me as separate from Happiness itself.
Within me I experienced what I defined as being “left out” feeling not included and within that sinking in a depression/sadness where it felt like a hole was in my solar plexus. 
  • Accepting and allowing me/Self to go into depression/sadness when/if I am is not part of something or believes to not be part of something.
  • Defining me and my experience according to being or not being ‘part’ of something.
  • Belief that something is wrong/flawed with me if I am not included/part of something (like the girls conversation and laughter) -> thus Self-Image, Self-Belief and Self-Acceptance Issues.
I then started thinking how I want to go home, be home, I wish I didn’t come, why did I come, I didn’t want to come… manipulating myself within this. 
  • Regret and Anger at myself for compromising me to go to the party while I did not really wanted to go and would have preferred to be somewhere else and do something else.
  • Backchat with where I accepted and allowed myself to manipulate me to continue existing within the experience of separation from happiness that was observed within the other girls instead of realizing that happiness is a living word that Self can live alone as for example enjoying me in mys body or in the presence/company of others, even simple things such as enjoying the air I breathe in and out and / or the scenery of my Physical Surrounding.
  • Accepting and allowing me to through the mind with backchat manipulate me into remain existing within this experience of depression and sadness due to the belief/acceptance that I am Separate from the characteristics/properties that the girls in the car represented which was happiness or a point of ‘belonging’/’being part of the group/’.
I longed to go home, and within that, felt the same way like who I was on the first day of school. I started to tear up and this was comforting as I tuned the outside noise around me and indulged within the crying.
  • Experience of Powerlessness and Helplessness and crying with regards to what I was experiencing, instead of seeing and realizing that I was just really accepting and allowing self to see/define/believe/accept me to be Separate from what was going on/the Moment(s) and characteristics that the girls were portraying/showing/resonating to/according to how I perceived the characteristics/moments of the girls interacting/talking with each other and laughing – and that the solution is as simple as forgiving me for separating myself from Happiness and whatever Characteristics I see/define myself to be separate from that the girls represented with their laughter and conversations. 
  • I did not realize that I was not really powerless and helpless but simply not accepting and allowing myself to embrace me as Happiness/Self-Enjoyment here and all the Characteristics that I believed/felt like I was lacking/not having that the girls were representing with their laughter and conversations and interactions with each other.
It was then my friend asked in what I perceived to be in a mean, criticizing voice: “are you crying?” I said no, thought about all the girls looking at me, waiting for my response so that they can jump onto judgements with their glances with each other. I felt embarrassed from all of this. I was caught from crying to where I perceived/thought I was seen like a baby, a wimp, and now all eyes are on me.

  • Fear of Humiliation/Being Humiliated by others
  • Fear of the opinion and judgement of others. 
  • Me being dependent on how others see, define and feel about me.
  • Accepting and allowing me to judge me as a wimp and baby for the act of crying or not feeling well emotionally and what I was experiencing due to all the things that were going on within my mind.
  • Fear of being vulnerable and other people being able to see that I am not feeling well.
  • Self-Accepted and allowed Self-Belief that if I cry or do not feel well emotionally/feeling-wise that that means that I am Inferior for Real, while that is not so at all but just a Self-Belief.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project me being physically  seperate from from my friends, placing them on one side and me being at the other, when in reality I was literally sitting next to them, sharing the same space with them, not realizing how I was manipulating myself into believing and perpetuating the idea that I am so separate from my friends.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from being here in the car, being here with my friends through participating and indulging in the mind of thoughts and ideas of being left out.
I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that in order to be included in the group I must act/participate and not expect others to make me feel/be included.  I see that in order to be included within the group I must participate in the group. Within this, I see I existed in self-interest within this desire of being included within the group without having to be equal to everyone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate the idea and belief that I am being left out by physically representing this belief by turning my body away from my friends and not participating in the conversation, physically indicating that I don’t want to be involved with what’s going on.
So I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how I am responsible for being left out of the group through first believing it so within my mind and then through my body language of turning away from my friends, crossing my arms and looking out the windowinstead of testing it out in fact by interacting/participating in reality.
I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to change my body language of dropping my arms, turning my body toward my friends to challenge the idea I created that I am being left out. I realize that within my mind I had been whining and manipulating myself into believing that I am left out, while all the while I was the one responsible for leaving myself out of the conversation/interaction with girls through my own body language and perceptions according to my mind.
Will continue in the next post…

Check out these awesome sites:

Journey to Life Blogs:
Journey to Life 

FREE Self-Help Interviews:
EQAFE Downloads

FREE Self-Development/Life Skills Course:
DIP Lite

Awesome Life & Living Support:
Desteni Website

Desteni Wiki
Desteni Forum
EQAFE – Self-Perfection Merchandise

Foundation Dedicated to Changing our World to one Best for All:
Equal Life Foundation

Enhanced by Zemanta