Day 157: The Paranoia/Phobia of Flying – Reacting to Imagination of Sitting on a Plane

Continuing from:
The Fear of Flying
Allowing my Imagination Get to Me
Projecting Failure during Take Off

It is the paranoia of flying I am walking now because according to the EQAFE interview Introduction – Fears & Phobias I realize I developed a phobia to flying where it has become a possession to the extent where I have created and generated a bunch imaginations/projections/thoughts that activate while I’m flying or before I fly, and will experience these things as well as physical reactions of sweating, heart racing, etc.

When I was sitting and listening to someone talk, I looked at how I will be taking a plane next week and a projection of me sitting in the air plane came up and then my solar plexus jumped in fear.

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when talking to another person, think about how I have to fly on an airplane instead of giving my full attention to the person because I would want the person to give me their full attention when I am talking to them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project myself within and as my mind of me sitting on an air plane, and from this, jump in fear within/as my solar plexus.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to be scared about flying an airplane, instead of realizing this is just a system luring me to participate within it’s thoughts and projections to generate more energy as fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself define myself as someone who has to be scared when thinking about airplanes, instead of realizing I can decide to change this relationship to no longer accept and allow myself to fear flying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as someone who is afraid of flying instead of realizing I made the decision to become afraid of flying, so thus, that means I have the power to change the decision.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this fear is bigger than me, and thus superior instead of realizing I created this fear through the small acceptances and allowances that accumulated to the paranoia/phobia it is now and all I need to do is walk in reverse by finding and understanding these points I allowed to accumulate for myself to create such phobia/paranoia.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I created this fear of flying through my own acceptance and allowance of defining myself as someone afraid of flying and allowing this fear to accumulate and continue instead of directing myself to sort the fear out so it doesn’t get a hold of me to the point where I become panicky and anxious during the entire travelling process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give me, my power, to the fear of flying by fearing something to happen to the plane while I’m on it that could threaten my life.

Because flying is unpredictable, meaning, things can happen – delays, cancellations, technical/mechanical problems with the plane, I react in fear to this point — flying in an air plane can be/is unpredictable. I created/made an emotional experience of it, instead of realizing my whole life is unpredictable.

So within this, there is a fear of the unpredictable, of the unknown, and in this specific case, there is a fear of flying because I cannot trust that the flying experience will be fine, I am not sure what awaits when I fly a plane, and that part is what I react to – that unknown, whether or not my flight will be fine, yet I realize that whatever happens on the plane, I can still be stable, still stabilize myself, my body, my breathing the whole way on the plane, because that is what’s most important – is staying here, supporting myself and the body because that is what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear to the fact that I cannot trust the outcome of my plane ride, instead of looking at pilots and crew members of the air plane in that it is their job to do what they can to assure the safety for all, and therefore, I can only do what I can do with travelling, so there is no point to go into fear and paranoia about my safety.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that there may be a pilot or crew member who is so unstable in their mind they could jeopardize the safety of the whole plane ride instead of realizing I am using this example as a justification to continue feeding on the paranoia of flying, and I realize it is for no purpose except to support and assist in the evolution of the mind consciousness system, therefore it is my responsibility as a part of life to stop this before it creates even more consequences.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that stability within who I am is the best and most supportive for me and all and it is with breathing, writing, self-forgiveness, being here in my physical body and living my decision to not participate in my mind as the best solution/medicine in regards to flying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a paranoia towards the unpredictability of flying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear towards the unpredictability of flying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear towards the fact that I cannot determine or predict the outcome of my flight – that is fact – and therefore, can only be here in every moment of breath.

Self-Corrective & Self-Commitment Statements:
 
When and as I see myself project being on an air plane while someone is talking to me and I go into fear, I stop, I take a deep breathe and I immediately forgive myself of the distraction by bringing myself back here and listening to what the person is saying. I realize that the mind is set up to grab my attention and take me away from here, and so when I see myself stray off in the mind, I come back here to this reality and do what I am suppose to be doing.

I commit myself to walk out of this fear of flying by/through walking all necessary points through writing and self-forgiveness to release myself and practically change through self-corrective application.

I commit myself to walk the decision I made for myself to assist and support myself to walk, stop and change this paranoia of flying by no longer being afraid of my own fear/paranoia but taking the necessary steps of stopping this point through writing, investigation/research, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.

I commit myself to walk through and STOP this paranoia of flying within the starting point of SOLUTION and FINDING A SOLUTION for myself.

I see, realize and understand that I cannot predict the future but I can control/direct who I am in every moment of breath within consideration of what is best for me/what assists and supports me and my body best.

I commit myself to find solutions/ways to stabilize myself in this physical reality because I realize that is best for me and my life.

When and as I see myself justify why I should fear or become more paranoid about flying when for example, I think “what if the pilot or crew member jeopardize the plane ride because their mind is unstable?” I stop, I breathe and I forgive myself from the internal conversation as it only creates another layer for the mind and supports the paranoia. I realize it takes a decision to stop it, so when this type of thinking comes up, I say “stop, I do not accept this” within the decision to not allow this type of thinking to grab hold of me.

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Day 156: The Fear of Flying – Projecting Failure during Take Off

Continuing from: Day 155 – Fear of Flying – Allowing My Imagination Get to Me

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that if I continue to participate in thoughts and projections, they will continue until I stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in fear before getting on a plane instead of supporting myself to write down the prominent thoughts/fears/projections or walk self-forgiveness within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project the air plane’s engines failing in mid-air during take-off.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear when I projected the air plane’s engine failing in mid-air while taking off. From this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear towards a projection, an idea, an illusion within and as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my air plane to taking off and then stopping mid-air because it’s engines failed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my fear of the plane’s engine failing when taking off will manifest if I watch a plane take off.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn my head away after I projected the air plane’s engines failing mid-way in the sky within and from my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn my head away in fear because I believed that if I were to watch the air plane take-off, its engines will fail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I watch the plane take off and its engine fail, then my air plane’s engines will fail too when taking off.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself within/as fear by believing that if I were to watch a plane take off, my fear will manifest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I turn around/away from my fear, my fear will go away instead of realizing it is only through facing and understanding the fear that I am able to let it go.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I turn away from my fear my fear will not happen . From this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear manifesting/coming to life, thus showing me that I fear my own fear.

I see that I cannot control the plane and I am scared/nervous/uneasy/anxious that I am not in control of the air plane because I don’t know what is going on while flying, like for example during turbulence. I want to make sure everything is okay and how long the turbulence will be, when will it be over, as well as any weather points/problems, and to even want to see and assist with the landing. You basically have to trust the pilot and the air plane, and within that, it gives me the most anxiety because I am basically putting my life in their hands. So there is a fear of wanting to be in control of the air plane and also of avoiding anything can threaten my life, but in reality, I cannot and am not able to control/direct an air plane, I am not a pilot, I have to find solutions on how I can be okay/stable sitting in an air plane as the pilots and air plane staff do their job.

When and as I see myself becoming scared before I take off in a plane, I stop and breathe and see whether: I have the opportunity to write down any fears I have in my notebook/computer, or simply speak self-forgiveness within as I focus on breathing and stopping participation in thoughts because I realize the more I allow myself to participate in thoughts, the more energy as fear and thoughts I generate, causing friction and conflict with me and my body.

When and as I see myself watch an air plane take off and project the engines failing and then going into fear, I stop, I breathe and I forgive myself of the fear because I realize it is only a projection/imagination coming from a deeper fear that I am currently walking/investigating for myself about flying. I realize that the projection comes from images I have seen on TV/movies and thus, are not real, but an idea I believed to be real instead of asking myself what is real. I realize that what is real is what is going on in this physical reality, so I allow myself to watch the air plane take off as it really is happening and breathe here.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to face and understand each fear I have within me through self-honest writing and self-forgiveness and find a solution through writing, common sense and self-corrective/commitment statements to let it go.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to find all the memories, beliefs and ideas I have related to flying/air planes that connect to my fear of flying and from this, assist and support myself through self-honest writing, investigation and self-forgiveness to understand this fear, let it go and script a living correction for myself.

I commit myself to investigate the paranoia and fear of not being in control of myself and my life when I for example, am on an air plane.

More to come…

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Day 155: Fear of Flying: Allowing my Imagination Get to Me

Continuation from: The Fear of Flying

(In relation to when I watched a plane take off in an airport) What I see is that I am reacting to the imaginations and projections that come up within me as I for example, watch an airplane take off. One imagination that I reacted to was the airplane takes off and then the engines start failing and from this I physically turned my head away as if it’s going to happen in real life and I am shielding myself from seeing it. Here, I see that I physically changed my behavior after the projection – acting as if what my mind showed me is real.

Now, why did I not stop myself from this imagination and just watch the airplane take off?

First of all, I was scared to begin with on flying on a plane because I already had a pre-existing fear of death/fear of dying in an airplane crash so because I did not clear this fear, the imaginations and backchat came up and started ‘haunting’ me basically, and I started to become really paranoid.

I did not stop myself from this imagination because I didn’t know how to – I have not prepared myself effectively to stand up to this fear and imagination and stop it. I instead succumb/gave into the fear by going into fear of seeing the airplane fail and turning away. I also saw within this is that I am afraid if I see an airplane crash, my airplane might crash, so if I look away, the plane won’t crash and my plane won’t crash..I remember looking at the plane, then thinking it’s going to crash, then going into fear with my solar plexus tightening, then looking away in aversion.

Now, where did I get this idea? What I see within this is the point of ‘jinx’ where I believe I am tempting fate, I can make something happen if I think about it – like for example, I was afraid that if I were to watch the airplane take off in the sky, it will crash. I had such a fear of that happening, believing my idea will come true, that I looked away because I was scared to see it happen. “If you don’t look, it won’t happen,” type of thing. But – looking at all of this – who told me that it’s going to crash? I allowed myself to be manipulated with this point. I have given my power to the mind and I allowed the mind’s imagination in relation to plane taking off to control me to such an extent I physically moved my head away from the scene as if what my mind showed me was real.

Therefore, the relationship I have here with my mind needs to be changed to where I am in control of myself as my mind, where I am stable and can direct myself no matter what the mind throws at me, so that I stand equal to it, look at it, understand where it’s coming from and find a way to direct myself as the mind into a common sense solution.

Self Forgiveness Statements and Self Corrective Statements to follow…

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Day 154: The Fear of Flying

I am going to be walking a specific point, and that is the fear of flying. While flying on two planes yesterday, I became aware of the increased level of fear and anxiety I experienced on these planes that I’ve never experienced before, so when I finally settled at my location I took out my notebook and just wrote. I wrote the most prominent memories, imaginations, and thoughts and fears that came out in relation to flying. What I saw within my writings is that I am holding onto a lot of memories from TV, movies, and stuff I’ve heard other people say about flying and airplanes that I allowed myself to be manipulated in fear with. Within all of this I saw the extent of points in relation to fear of flying to take on, so I will be walking this fear in my coming blogs.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the information that the most dangerous time of being in an airplane is during take off and landing to manipulate myself to feed on my fear of flying that exists within me and my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to from the information I’ve heard that taking off and landing are the most dangerous times of a flight think that somehow something is going to happen to me that will threaten my life when I’m on the plane.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being in a plane while it’s taking off.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear something wrong to happen while the plane is taking off. What I see is “wrong” during take-off is the airplane wing for example to break off because of the high winds it has to fly into. So this is a thought and imagination I have within this point.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the airplane wing breaking off because of high winds while the plane is going into the sky because I imagined this within my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself by imagining the airplane wing breaking off during take-off to feed my fear of flying even more. Within this, I see, realize and understand that by participating within this imagination will only increase, feed and support this fear instead of stabilizing myself within my mind in my process.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the memory of the news story of an airplane landing in the Hudson River because birds got in the way of the engines, causing the plane to stop working and go down to manipulate myself to fear the taking off process of flying. I realize that I am using a real event to reason with myself why I should fear the taking off process while flying.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look away when I saw an airplane taking off at the airport because I was afraid to see it not make it in the sky.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to project the plane rocking side to side and eventually falling, as if it’s a toy plane.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself to go into fear by projecting the real-time aircraft wavering side to side in the sky.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn away from watching the airplane take off at the airport because I feared to see my projection/imagination/fear happen.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear watching an actual plane take off but suddenly the engines stop and the plane falls through the sky and crash on the ground.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself through imagining a plane taking off and then falling and crashing because the engines died to feed the fear of flying existent within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my participation and my trust into my imagination instead of realizing it’s an illusion I am believing is real.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear watching a plane crash before my eyes because I am not sure how to handle myself when I see it. I see, realize and understand I require to do more writing and research with my inner world to understand it and learn how to direct/handle my inner world experiences when things/points in my external world come up/trigger/manifest.

More to come…

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Day 138: Resistance to do Tasks of More Effort

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do a task/responsibility of less effort than doing something of more effort because doing something of less effort is easier instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I eventually have to do the task/responsibility that contains more effort, and therefore, pushing it away is useless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist doing tasks/responsibilities of more effort because it’s easier and puts less stress on myself, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I have defined doing tasks/responsibilities of more effort as “stressful.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define tasks/responsibilities of more effort as “stressful” and define tasks/responsibilities of less effort as “less stressful” because I have found that putting in mental effort where one has to really question, investigate, slow down oneself in one’s task/responsibility, considering all points, as being much effort.

I realize that I exist within resistance and this idea towards writing that writing is a huge effort to dissect/understand the mind, where I have to find every intricate part of myself as the mind through writing, which takes a lot of time and effort and patience, and there is within me this resistance to even walk it – to even go through it all because it is “so much” and already I see I Have given up from that, because it just seems “too much” and “so much” I don’t even want to put in the effort to understand find everything about and what exists within me in and as the mind because it’s just so much!!!! – this is backchat and imagination – me imagining my task to be impossible, so much, participating in a character that cries out in resistance “It’s so much!”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within resistance and this idea towards writing that writing is a huge effort to dissect and understand the mind because I had imagined going through intricate details of words from and as my mind on the computer and from that imagination, create a resistance and an idea towards writing being a huge effort instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that from the imagination, I defined writing to be a huge difficult task of such hard effort that I became resistant of doing the actual task in physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have participated within the illusion/imagination of me scrolling down many intricate details of lines with words on the computer and from that, accepted and allowed myself to define that imagination as real and that that is what writing will be in reality because I believed it to be real instead of questioning this illusion/imagination if this is actually real – if writing really is a difficult task.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to add and create resistance from participating and believing in the imagination of me scrolling down intricate details of lines with words on the computer and from that believed the imagination/idea to be real.

I forgive myself that I havee accepted and allowed myself to believe in the idea that writing is difficult because of imagination I participated in of me scrolling down intricate details of lines with words on the computer and from that belief, define writing as difficult.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define writing as difficult and from defining writing as difficult, created resistance towards actual writing in physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect resistance to writing by defining writing as difficult, thus connecting resistance towards doing what I perceive is difficult or of much effort.

I see, realize and understand that I believed what my mind was showing me as imagination towards writing to be real because to me it seemed “true” and thus, defined writing to be difficult and created a resistance towards writing in physical-reality.


That is it for today. Will continue in the next post…

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Day 114: Just Do It. Pushing Through Resistance While Walking Assignments

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I face resistance towards walking through an assignment that must get done, to think I have enough time to do it tomorrow and support this justification through imagining me doing it tomorrow while experiencing a happy feeling inside to fool me into believing that I really will get the assignment done tomorrow instead of actually walking the assignment NOW when I self-honestly see within the moment that I can get walk it now but because I accepted and allowed myself to submit to the resistance instead of pushing through resistance and just do the assignment I allowed imagination and positive feelings to persuade me otherwise, and from there, not walk the assignment, thus creating the consequence of postponing the assignment, simply because I believed I will be able to get it done tomorrow and ‘it’ll be okay.’

  • I commit myself to stop believing in the imagination and belief that I will get the assignment done tomorrow when an image of me working pops up because I realize it’s just my mind directing me to do something other than the assignment I am walking and the more I postpone, the more time I lose in completing the assignment .
  • I commit myself to walk the assignment the moment I see an opportunity and/or time frame to do so.

So therefore, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and take into consideration practical reality when I am faced with considering to work on my assignment today or tomorrow, and instead of actually walking through the moment and available time I have now to do the assignment, allowed resistance to direct and dictate for me when it wants me to do the assignment, thus, I accepted and allowed myself to succumb to the mind, instead of standing up and no longer submitting to what the mind wants because I realize it’s just resistance and all that is required of me is to just DO THE ASSIGNMENT.

  • I commit myself to push through resistance towards walking through an assignment and just do the assignment – simple as that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my ability to walk through an assignment because of how I had difficulty walking through it in the past instead of taking it slow and walking at the pace I need to walk in order to make sure that all the assignment asks for is completed correctly.

  • I commit myself to walk the assignment at a pace I am comfortable walking that will assist me in completing the assignment on time and with all the required points needed.
  • From this – I commit myself to organize my time and schedule in a manner that will assist and support me to practically walk the assignment during my available time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist walking through an assignment due to having fear of not being able to bring up the required information instead of just using the resources and people provided to assist me within my understanding of the assignment available.

  • I commit myself to speak up and ask for assistance and/or support when I see I am having difficulty with the assignment.
  • I commit myself to use resources and the material available to assist and support me with understanding what I am required to do within the assignment.

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Day 47: I’m Not Good Enough Character – Imagination Dimension

It is suggested to read the following blog posts for context:

Imagination: Me in constant struggle, jabbing the paper with my pencil, huffing and puffing, angry and frustrated at myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the imagination-playout of me in constant struggle with writing myself to freedom, jabbing the paper with my pencil, huffing and puffing in anger and frustration to exist within and as me, and from this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that writing myself to freedom is a struggle, and within my mind reenact an imaginary scene of me huffing and puffing, jabbing the paper with my pencil, which is the same way I would see it in movies or TV shows where the character/actor is struggling to write and writes in frustration huffing and puffing and crumbles up the paper and throws it away, thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imprint the idea that writing is frustrating and hard, just like how I would see it from TV shows/Movies in how the character/actors would be when they write and so I connected that to what it would be like writing myself to freedom — that I’m making writing self to freedom seem difficult cause it’s like I’m trying to place/structure words a certain way and make it sound a certain way so it “looks good” in my eyes, just like how the characters/actors on TV would struggle with writing out the ‘perfect’ letter, so, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that me participating in this imagination-playout and believing that writing myself to freedom is a struggle/difficult, I’m actually suppressing myself/my words and sabotaging my process to change by not expressing me in the moment with writing because I allowed the imagination from imprinted scenes in TV/movies to influence/direct me in who I am and how I write. So from this —
I commit myself — to stop the imaginary-playouts in relation to how I imagine writing to be, which I see/realize/understand comes from being imprinted with images and scenes from television/movies where the character/actor is frustrated and crumples up the paper when they write, in which I approach writing a similar way, in and as frustration trying to conjure up the perfect words/sentences so it ‘looks good’ in my eyes, so I commit myself to STOP with the ideas/imagination about writing and assist and support myself in writing myself to freedom to just ‘flow’ with my writing in writing down the words/experiences that exist within and as me within awareness as self directive principle so I can physically see exactly what is going on within me and from there, practically walk myself towards a solution to change through using the tools of self forgiveness and self corrective application so I walk myself out of the mind and into the physical.