Day 210: Defining Myself According to Work-Related Feedback

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am better than another coworker by comparing feedback I received from others to the feedback the coworker received and from this, justify that I am better because of the ideas and beliefs I had previously formed of myself instead of realizing these ideas came from feedback I received from others when I was unsure and insecure of how I was doing at my job instead of taking the feedback as a cool point of support that what I’m doing is in line with my job and not go into ego, believing I am the best coworker at my job

I realize that I have used comparison to define who I am and since I had received more positive feedback than my coworker I went into ego instead of using feedback as a cool cross-reference of how I’m doing within my job, yet through ego I saw myself as being better than another, when in reality that is not true, I am always equal to what is here, even despite if I have received more positive feedback than another on how I’m doing in my job, does not mean I am not better than them

I commit myself to stop comparing feedback I received from others to the feedback I’ve heard about my co-worker as I realize the only feedback that matters is from/of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately take positive feedback from coworkers on how I’m doing to fuel my ego and ideas of myself instead of realizing this feedback is simply from how I’m doing within my job, and that what I am doing is accepted, approved and satisfying within the system, and thus does not actually reflect me, as the entirety of who I am, that for example, if I am doing a good job with something does not define me as a ‘good’ person as I see, realize and understand a ‘good person’ is a person who lives and exists within what is best for all, and thus I realize I have a lot of work to do to become what is best for all, as long as I continue to walk this process in self-honesty for me

I commit myself to stop defining me and who I am according to the feedback I get but to see this feedback as cross-reference with how I am doing with my job and if any improvement is needed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project in my mind my coworkers saying good things about me, comparing me to others in their mind instead of realizing the more I participate in this projection/imagination I am fueling my ego and the ideas I have of myself of being a ‘good person’ /better than others in the job that I do, and within this I realize what I do in my job does not define who I am, it is who I am within the job that I do that matters, thus even if I were to do a perfect job at my work, I can still exist within ‘evil’ participating in backchats, judgments, etc – that which basically fuels abuse and separation in this world

I commit myself to stop myself when I see me use positive feedback according to how I work before it ‘gets to my head’ a.k.a ‘fuel my ego’ and instead shift myself into using/taking that feedback as cool cross-reference that I am doing well

From this, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to question my participation within projections and thoughts about who I am at work, that I had been fueling my ego through participation in projections, thoughts and beliefs instead of considering who I am and what I am accepting and allowing when I allow myself to separate myself from others by existing in ego, and ego is nasty

When and as I see myself participate and ‘play into’ projections/imaginations and thoughts about who I am as a worker, whether positive or negative, I stop, I breathe and I do not allow myself to participate in the projections/imaginations and thoughts since I realize the more I allow myself to ‘give in’ and participate in my mind the more I am allowing myself to be defined by the mind instead of me defining me, and deciding who I am and how I want to live

(Image Source)

Educational & Supportive Websites:
Journey to Life Blogs:     Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery
EQAFE.com  Free Self-Improvement Interviews
DIP Lite:  Free Self-Development Online Course
Desteni I Process: Online Self-Mastery Course at it’s Finest
Relationship Agreement Course: Empower Yourself, Strengthen your Relationships
Desteni Website  Understanding the Human Mind, Oneness & Equality
Desteni Wiki Structured, Organized Information about Self & Solutions
Desteni Forum  Forum with interactive support, resources and tools 

Day 92: Fear of Facing Teacher Feedback

Today I was going through old lesson plans that I made when I first started teaching.  Within the lesson plans my instructor at the time wrote down comments and made notes on my teaching presentation / instruction .  The notes my instructor wrote down about me were very thorough and direct and provided suggestions on improvements.  Upon seeing the notes / comments I went into fear and a major resistance to even look at them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing my instructor’s notes on my teaching presentation / instruction because I realize that he is directly making notes on me and my performance and therefore, I see, realize and understand that within those notes is feedback on my teaching such as what I require working on and improving, and from this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to fear facing embarrassment and humiliation about my teaching presentation / instruction through the instructor’s comments as I realize that within reading his comments I am facing my mistakes that another has pointed out to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing my mistakes that another has pointed out to me, indicating what I did not do well on and need to improve on, pointing out suggestions on what to do to correct it – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the instructor feedback on my teaching presentation / instruction is essential in understanding how I can correct my mistakes as a teacher as well as develop myself into an effective teacher. From this – I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my instructor’s comments about my teacher presentation / instruction personally as I realize that the instructor was being direct, open and honest about my teaching style / presentation / instruction and therefore, used his knowledge and expertise to assist me in seeing where I may have been off and / or need adjustments and corrections in my teaching presentation / instruction.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to face my instructor’s comments about my teaching presentation / instruction full on within the realization that I am here and reading these comments is a point of support for me in understanding where I may still require correction in my teaching and that these notes are here to support me in my development as a teacher, and therefore, there is no need to take another’s comments towards my presentation personally as the instructor was simply doing his job – observing and taking notes on my teaching presentation / instruction and utilizing his knowledge and expertise to suggest what I need to work on. I mean – how else am I going to develop, learn and grow as a teacher if I don’t accept others perspectives and suggestions on developing my teaching style? I realize that having my instructor as an observer was cool in that he was able to catch and see things I wasn’t aware of when I was teaching.

I will continue more on this point tomorrow. Thank you.

Additional Support:
Desteni
Desteni Wiki
Desteni Forum
DIP Lite *Free Self-Development / Self-Improvement Course*