244. Why Children Forgive and Move On

children forgive and let go easily
From time to time I will share realizations I’ve had through my observations working with children. This post specifically involves children 5 and under.

Children seem to be very much in the moment and only concern themselves in the moment. Very rarely do they seem to reference the past, and to me it has been funny getting the same response from them when I ask them what they did yesterday (”I don’t know” typical response). They honestly don’t know what they did yesterday because the past is not important to them — what is important to them is what is here now and what they are doing.

I find this very interesting because children also seem to forgive and let go very easily — in the sense that, from my observations in the classroom — if a child gets into a conflict with their friend, and out of anger their friend hits them or calls them a ”bad name” they may cry and react, but then things settle down, and eventually the two of them will talk normally again. There are no ”hard feelings” or bringing up the past in spite towards one of another. Children of this age seem to not even have that sort of spitefulness in them.

For us as adults (and even as children when we grow up) our relationship with ourselves and our mind develops and becomes more complex, which in turn becomes harder for us to let go of things, forgive and move on. We start holding onto things, become spiteful towards one another, act in emotion and use revenge…

For children, they are much more pure, and physical in their bodies — they are not so much in their mind, and their minds are not as complex as ours. Children are more here/present, focused on what the HERE and what matters to them in the moment, which is perhaps why they can let go so easily.

It is a cool thing to experience and observe this when you are around children, to see them so easily forgive/let go of things and move on…

Is it possible for us to be like ”children” again in being able to forgive, let things go, and move on? Is it possible to stay present/here in the moment without ever dipping into the mind, listening to the thoughts and voices that disempower us? Yes, it is, but it requires absolute dedication, will and consistency to walk our mind layers, and the best way to start is through here.

This is what I’m currently doing — walking a process of consciousness to (physical) awareness. I commit to always find solutions in my process, to stand up from my fall, to continue to stand and walk…

Day 218: Realizations from Being with Children

I got invited today as a potential candidate for an English pre-school to come in and play with the children for a few hours. This allowed me to meet the other staff members, get a good feel for the job to then be determined if I would be a good fit there.

While I was with these children, aged 1 1/2 to 3 years old, I had many realizations. Here are some I wrote down:

1) They’re cute, but don’t let that get to you.

I saw myself go into like the ‘awww she’s so cute’ point, thinking that this little girl is perfectly sweet and nice. But then I observed how this sweet looking little girl actually caused some problems in the class, biting children, hitting them. So the girl’s behavior was not aligned to an idea I had of her, and of course, this does not make her a ”bad girl” — she could have only picked up/acted on such behaviors from us (humanity, parents, caregivers, teachers, world).

So within this I realized the following: looks can be deceiving, and this even applies to our society and world in general, where in the media we can become so captivated by an actress or actor and think all these good things about them, but we really don’t know the reality of them, just like how we have ideas of ourselves, perhaps thinking we are good people because we give to charity, but not realizing how we give to charity because it makes us ”feel better” as a self-interest point instead of consideration that charities are simply band-aids and do not actually help the poor for the long-run, it only helps them temporarily. So basically I saw here how I need to stop easily assuming or interpreting how another is, based on how I ”think” they are according to how they look.

2) The ”mine” point:

I have seen instances of children saying the ”mine” and not wanting to share with others. Even the word ”mine” sounds like mind, lol.

I see this as where a child says ”mine” as a form of fear because what I interpreted when I went over to this girl and asked her if her doll is sleeping she said ”mine” and brought the doll closer to herself, so I wondered if maybe she thought I was going to take it from her, which also brings me to the point of survival of the fittest, how we fear losing money or things in our lives that can threaten our life. We are basically programmed to survive. I mean it’s in our DNA in a way — we must survive, because the world we live in today is built on competition and survival where we really cannot trust each other because our world is hostile, it is insecure, we do not have a secure monetary system based on consideration of all beings on the planet so that everyone, humans, animals even plants have all basic needs fulfilled to live on this planet, and because we don’t have this, we don’t have a secure world or monetary system — we are insecure, we are in fear all the time, we must live based in survival, ”working to survive,” essentially.

3) We need more education about how to work with children:

Some basic ”troublesome behaviors” of 2-3 year olds are pulling hair, screaming, basically acting out in ways that make the environment stressful for others. What we usually do is say ”stop, don’t do that” and if the behavior continues, we put them in the time out chair. The problem I see within that is that we don’t communicate to the children about their behavior, the consequences of it, how it effects the other person, and especially in the case of 2-3 year olds, this is very hard to communicate such things, to talk about consequences.

Their behaviors must then come from us, the caregivers, the parents, the teachers, because of how we exist within. For example, there is a blog from Leila on parenting and why babies throw temper tantrums, and it was pointed out that as a parent, when you really want to do something, but unable to and throw a tantrum about it in your mind, babies pick up on that and see how you accept and allow it, so then over time, babies then develop that temper tantrum tendency because of how we as parents or caregivers allowed it to exist in us.

We require more education on how to effectively work with children, and that does start with working with ourselves in understanding how we exist according to our minds because who we are/how we exist in the mind makes a big impact on our children.

Fortunately, as of late, there have been audio recordings on parenting and how to work with the mind so you as a parent, teacher or caregiver can learn how to become stable for your children. It’s on EQAFE.com — I definitely suggest you check it out.

Additional notes: I can see it for myself that when working with the young children it’s important to remain as stable as possible because if you allow yourself to go into reaction, it will affect how you speak, how you move, and how you are, and children will see it and pick up on it — they naturally look to us as examples so when we don’t breathe and sort our reactions out but allow them to remain within us, the kids will assume that reacting and holding onto reactions is okay and will then develop that pattern as they grow up. In general, children I have met are more easily able to let things go, which is cool.

That is what I have for today. Thanks for reading.

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Day 149: Comparing my Job with Another’s Job

Continuation from: Day 148 -Within Jealousy there is Self-Anger

Looking at the point that Miss O makes more money than me, because she is a teacher/has a professional job and I do not and she is my age.Within that, comes my own dissatisfaction where I think/believe that it’s too late for me to be in her position – be a teacher, have a professional job,  make a good amount of money, because I missed the opportunity to be serious and focused on getting a profession when I was in college and having my tuition paid by my parents.

If you read in my previous blog I began to explain at the end how I took the easy way out in college because I had already formed hate and anger towards school, and so, chose what I found to be an easy degree/study to graduate with so I could “get the fuck out of school” not realizing that what awaits me is a world where social networking/people connections, job/internship experience, and more specific, higher education is very much needed in order to get quite a good job that pays a good amount of money.

So through looking back at this mistake and how I defined me with a “mediocre” job I judged myself and went into self-hate and self-anger about making the mistake in not being serious in college and not catching myself with this mind-set of wanting to “get the fuck out of college as fast as I could.” I realize that I could have done much more in my college years. Now, looking at myself and the situation I am in where if I were to go back to school I would have to spend maybe another 3-4 years of school plus take out loans or use my money to pay for courses and this makes me go into reactions of anger and fear with the backchat “I don’t want to spend another four years in school and pay off loans.” So I am basically feeling quite stuck with these points, and the only solution that will assist me is walking through Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as inferior to Miss O because she makes more money than me and she is my age.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous at Miss O for being a teacher at my age because I would like to have a profession like that as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel quite “bad” and dissatisfied about myself when I look at/compare myself to Miss O, and from this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel quite “bad” and dissatisfied about myself because I wish I could have a job like Miss O where I am utilizing my skills, interacting with students/children and making an impact in their lives.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous at Miss O because she is the center of attention in her class where children look up to her and she has responsibilities of grading papers and answering parent e-mails, basically having power/authority/responsibility within her job position.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as not good enough because I do not have the power/authority/responsibility to teach children and answer parent e-mails for example, by defining/seeing myself as not important.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as unimportant because I am not given attention like a teacher, who is the center of attention in the classroom and has a busy life with e-mails and projects, all of which I connect worth towards. I see, realize and understand that I have connected “worth” towards having a job like a teacher who receives attention from students and answers parent emails and emails from other teachers and is in the “know-how” of what’s going on with each student. I see, realize and understand that I am able to get to know students since I work at a school and don’t need e-mails to tell me who they are – I can interact with them in the classroom, even if I am not a teacher.

What I am starting to see within this is I am defining myself within the job I work in as “not important” and not of much worth because I see/define teachers to be something special/worthy and I perceive them to be of utmost importance in a student’s life. However, in reality, I see, realize and understand the job position I do have in the classroom actually is “worthy” because it enables me the opportunity to interact with the students and utilize skills I have. I can use my communication skills to interact with students and get to know them and see where I can assist them within their school work and not separate myself from them by only isolating myself from students with the job I am required to do.

I commit myself to identify and investigate all the backchats, ideas, thoughts, feelings, emotions and reactions I have with me being in the job position I am through writing and self-forgiveness so I can clear myself from the energetic attachments and connections and be able to participate in my job fully.

I commit to investigate all the thoughts, emotions, feelings, memories, ideas, beliefs I have about teachers, purify the word “teacher” and investigate how I see them to clear all energetic connections and associations so I can be clear within myself and see the teachers for who they are – a teacher.

I commit myself to get to talk/interact/get to know the other students I work with to understand them more and see what they need assistance with so I can be of assistance to them which I enjoy.

I commit to see if who I am in what I do/who I am is best for the children/students through self-introspection, writing and self-forgiveness and script a new living through self-corrective application.

To be continued…! Check out other Journey to Life Blogs:

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Day 119: Facing the Reality of Abused Children

Download the EQAFE interview here

While making muffins I was listening to the EQAFE interview: Always Feeling Like I’m Not Doing Enough and the person that was speaking said that she was working as as a doctor in a place where people don’t have hospitals and medicines due to the economy/government (in this case, people who live in poverty) and she said that the extent to what she had seen and with the children dying in her arms it became ‘too much’ for her and she thought back of the past when she was in her quiet room admiring her awards and wished she was back there.  She mentioned the word “escape” – that she wanted in that moment to escape the atrocities of what she had been dealing with and when she said this a memory popped up for me of when I was in high school visiting a shelter for abandoned and orphaned children.

Memory:  I had to do a school assignment where I had to do community service and observe the environment. I chose to volunteer at a shelter for abandoned and orphaned children.  I went for a visit and I remember that the children I’ve met had major social and behaviour problems.  One child I was with was difficult to play with because they would bite and/or hit me randomly and the workers had to come over and stop him.  I was pretty shocked by what I’ve seen and one worker would point out which child got abandoned, which child was abused and I would look at these children and wondered what that must be like and why someone would do that to their child and what will happen to them?

Let me tell you, I got a reality shock when I was there.  I was emotionally unstable with a headache and wanted to leave – wanted to escape – but had to stay another hour to finish my report. I was not only shocked by the reality of what I’d seen but also traumatized. I realized that there are parents who do abandon their children, who do abuse their children, and children are so small they cannot protect or defend themselves and it’s even more horrifying that parents, the ones who are meant to care and nourish the child, are the causing physical and mental damage upon them.

When I presented my report to the class, I avoided eye contact so I couldn’t see their reactions. I was embarrassed and humiliated to share what I’d observed and realized.  It was unlike anything I have ever encountered, and coming from an environment/home where I was basically “safe” from that part of reality, I was uncomfortable to expose what I’d seen.

Listening to this interview and becoming aware of the memory I am yet again given another wake up call about how necessary and important it is for me to to give my time and money towards a solution to a new system/a new way of life that guarantees the end of abuse for all. We as humanity need to come together and STOP the atrocity and abuse we have accepted and allowed on earth and on each other – ESPECIALLY on the children. They are our furture.

I support an Equal Money System, a new system as a solution to end the abuse for all.

I will be walking Self-Forgiveness on this point in my next blog on this memory/point.

Thank you.

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Day 98: Food Education

Today I was eating dinner with a relative and after we were done eating the person got out a bowl of fruit to eat as their dessert. I saw this and wanted to inform them about articles and information I read on why it’s best not to eat fruit after a meal (the fruit will actually ferment and rot in your stomach which leads to digestive problems, especially if one does this over time).

Anyways, I went into uncertainty about telling this person about what I learned because I was afraid of how they would react, but I saw it could support him because he’s had digestive troubles before, so I took a breath and just shared what I learned (it’s best to eat fruit on an empty stomach or as a snack between meals since fruits digest the fastest) and it turned out cool because the person told me he’s going to apply what I said.

I find that many schools and families don’t teach their children a lot about food and nutrition. For example, I don’t remember being taught about food combining at all, but it was only through the internet I got to learn about it. I see that we as individuals and the education system as a whole need to change the way we educate our children and one another in taking care of ourselves and our bodies by providing more education on food and nutrition so that we can live optimally. However unfortunately, if more people were educated on taking care of themselves, for example, pharmaceutical companies and drug-companies will lose money because everyone will be healthier and won’t need pills or drugs. Plus, from what I understand, the education system as it currently exists limits and controls the educational material that is taught to children, such as life-skills of food and nutrition, because of the massive influence companies and corporations have in our lives due to all us allowing and participating in a money system solely focused on making MONEY instead of us as living beings as LIFE here.

I suggest those interested in learning how we can create a new system that supports us as life instead of money, check out: EqualMoney.org

To take a free life-skills course with buddy support, check out: DIP Lite

Informational sources:
The Major Rule for Eating Fruit
The Right Way to Eat Fruits
The Science Behind Eating Light to Heavy

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Day 28: Reacting to Children

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak in reaction towards children. From this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I speak in any reaction, such as anger towards a child, I will grab that child’s attention and make them listen to me.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to bring myself back here in and as breath when I see myself react towards a child because I realize that I stand as a leader and example to children and if I communicate myself in and as reaction I am accepting and allowing reactions as emotions to influence and direct me to speak – instead of me as self directive principle directing me to speak, thus I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I accept and allow me to speak from reactions I accept and allow children to do the same thing – to accept and allow themselves to be influenced and directed to speak in and as reactions of emotions, thus be enslaved to their thoughts, emotions and feelings in and as their Mind.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I have been enslaving myself to reactions through abdication of self responsibility as self-directive principle.  From this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust emotions and reactions to direct me  instead of me as directive principle, directing me as what is best for all.  
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak to children in anger, not realizing that being angry at a child will not assist or support us in any way whatsoever as I see, realize and understand that when I am angry I am unstable within myself and with the child and what is best is to take a breath and re-settle/stabilize myself or remove myself from the room/situation and support myself to stop this point of reaction towards  the child through breathing and self forgiveness, as I realize that the reaction has nothing to do with the child, but what I have reacted towards within myself, thus I must take responsibility for the reactions I have within me.
When and as I see myself reacting to a child in anger, I stop, I breathe, I bring myself back here and do not accept and allow myself to be overcome/influenced/directed by anger as I realize that this does not support the both of us as speaking in reaction in anger shows that I am allowing myself to be directed by an emotion and not as self-directive principle, and standing as an example for the child I do not want to show the child that accepting and allowing self to be influenced/directed by emotions is ok, when it is in fact not as that shows that self accepts and allows self to be enslaved to the Mind of emotions and reactions. SO, I assist and support myself to STOP this reaction within me, taking into the consideration of me and the child as me by stopping the reaction through breathing and stabilize myself and see if there is anything I need to communicate to the child.

I commit myself to take responsibility towards the reactions I have within me and stop accepting and allowing them to influence, direct and control me. I do this with breathing, self forgiveness, writing, self corrective application.

  1.  “DON’T ACT ON YOUR REACTIONS, really BREATHE if/as they do come up, cause the mind can possess you in such moments and then do/say things you’ll regret, so don’t go there, that is not a suppression – that would be breathing and remaining stable in the face of the storm of the mind, THEN to in writing/self forgiveness walk the points through in seeing where/why you reaction and then the commitments to stop when/as you face a similar moment again.”-Sunette Spies
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