256. Men – Part 1

photo-1454625191319-786c05137ef5I was flipping through a yearbook and saw photo of a male classmate who use to be very nice to me. I had a movement in me, opened it up through Self-Forgiveness, and wanted to explore it deeper here… 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortable towards men/males being nice to me, since I am suspicious that they really do not mean to be so, genuinely

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the belief and idea that most to all men are really not nice, genuinely, and that they are really mean

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify that men/males really are just mean by using examples of my past, and memories of when I perceived males to be mean/not so nice, either to me or to people in general

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear men, especially men who are nice to me because I don’t believe them to be really nice, and that they either have hidden intentions (which is why they are nice) or that they are not really nice but putting on a face

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to not believe in one man’s ”nice’expression/could not believe one man to suddenly be nice to me after not seeing him for a long time, because he had for the majority of my life, been ”mean”/not nice to me, to the point of bullying, from which I can see I haven’t forgiven yet

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how I have been holding onto memories of situations and interactions with men/certain men in the past, who have treated me (in what I perceive) as unkindly, and not nice and used those interactions to support and justification the idea/belief all men are really not nice or mean, due to what I’ve experienced with them in the past, carrying these beliefs with me as a point of protection from feeling/getting hurt by them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘hate’ men for being mean to women, instead of seeing how I have in a way am taking sides against them and separating myself from the

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give me and my self-worth/voice away to the fear I have towards males and what they may say or do to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear men call me fat, and/or ugly because if they call me these things I will believe them and take their words personally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more value to the words from a man, then from me and who/how I see myself, believe of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and find myself inferior and not good enough for men, instead of questioning where and when did I allow myself to give my self-worth to them? since I realize that I have given my power and my self-worth to men and their words and judgements towards me and women

I commit myself to investigate when and where did it begin where I shifted my self-worth to the words and actions of men, and why, so I can forgive each point of self-seperation and align myself back into self-acceptance and self-worth

I commit myself to purify my relationship to the words ”fat” and ”ugly” so if IF I am called those words, I know my relationship to them and do not take words personally, but know where to stand with myself with/from those words

I commit myself to forgive and release the attachments I have defined myself towards my own memories towards men while creating my new relationship with who I am and where I stand with men, and their words/behaviors towards me

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