Day 211: Health Paranoia

One of the problems I have been having is being distracted by health articles and recipes. I do find myself very drawn to the health field, with tons of health info and recipes on my Facebook feed, all for me to look at and within that is this desire to learn and know everything –all recipes, and health information so I feel complete within, like I know everything, but gosh that is so far from the truth because new information comes in every second online, new recipes, etc, so it is impossible for me to know everything when this world is constantly changing and evolving, so new information inevitably comes forth. I can never be ‘full’ with all information in the world.

So, what I’m looking at here is priorities and what’s important. What’s important is investing time and my life into creating myself and this world into a place best for all. That is what I see as important, as worth, but my problem has been a shift in focus from working on myself to indulging in tons of health info and recipes, because of this desire to learn more, to know more, because there is a fear that I may not know something, like a cure or treatment if I or someone around me were to become sick and then the ‘worst’ happens where they die and I’m left in regret ‘if I had known about this cure…this treatment…’ So there is a fear that there will come a moment where I could have known a fact or a tip on something to cure someone/an illness/health problem but because I didn’t, me or someone in my life falls very ill and/or dies. This I know comes from memories like when I was on antibiotics and very ill and having to find my own way in healing, which I will write about soon.

To continue, some things I can see in relation to health articles I read is, let’s say there is a health article on a herb that can cure vitamin deficiencies. Now I saw this a few days ago and I thought to myself, and recognized in myself I have some vitamin deficiencies, because it has been confirmed by my doctor in the past, so I said let me look at this, and now I know that (according to the article) cumin oil is ‘meant to cure all vitamin deficiences.’ See, so I know that and it makes me feel good to know that, however, am I going to apply this information to my life? No. Why? Because I am not sure how my body will react to the cumin oil and also I am not sure if I have such severe vitamin deficencies I should take this and also because I am unsure taking this without a medical profession’s consent.

So, really, I can see I don’t need to have this information within me if I know I am not going to use it, but what holds me back is WHAT IF I NEED IT, what if I need that info, where me or someone in my life is suffering with severe vitamin definecies and they don’t know what to do, well then I can come in and help them and tell them about cumin oil. Then I feel good because I have given them (what I think) is the answer, but that is only according to ONE ARTICLE, ONE SOURCE of information.

Sure, cumin oil may help, but I haven’t tested it myself, and I haven’t gone through a medical profession for it, so I am using an article’s knowledge and information on it, and I am believing this article without actually cross- referencing with myself, my body and/or a medical profession! So therefore, do I really need to hold onto that info, if I am not a medical profession and/or have never used the cumin oil myself? No, there is no point to hold onto such info.

Looking at this more, if a person with severe vitamin deficiences came up to me asking for help or advice or which direction they should go I would point them in a direction of a medical profession, specifically a homeopath or naturopath because through my own PERSONAL EXPERIENCE I have found these professionals supportive for me and my body, and that is really it, because the knowlegde and info I have gained through reading articles online really is pointless if I have not tested it for me/have not walked the point myself and also am not a medical profession or cross-referenced with one. The best advice I can give to a person in need of physical help is to first check to see if I can provide them with support through my own personal experience and then reccommend they see the above mentioned medical professionals.

Thus then, all that time reading up on health articles, being distracted by such a wealth of health info out there — is any of it actually contributing to me, or is it just becoming a distraction? I can most certainly see it as a distraction because if I genuinely wanted to look something up because I want to find answers/solutions to a problem, I would. Though in my case I had allowed myself to get caught up in a sea of health info, all as a point of distraction from the real thing — working on myself, creating my life, and working on creating a world best for all.

So, the point I am highlighting here that I am aware of in my writing is that I have been distracted by health articles and info because of a deep fear of having me or someone in my life become drastically ill and die and then I am left with regret because I could have known certain health info that could have saved me/them. So when I go on my Facebook news feed I ‘drink up’ as much knowledge and info I can so I can prepare myself for any possible sickness/illness in my life and know the treatments. Thus, I formed a paranoia, a fear, an obsession within wanting to know everything, and ‘I am not satisfied’ until I know all treatments and cures for each health problem and issue so that if me or someone becomes ill/sick I know what to do to ‘save them.’

I will explore memories and walk Self-Forgiveness on points mentioned within this blog in the next posts. Thanks for reading!

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