Day 122: Longing to be a Child Again

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Today I was with some family members and went to a park that I use to go to when I was a child.  When I was there I thought about how much happier I would be if I were a child again, playing in the park, not having to worry about the real world or moving.  I experienced a mixture of sadness, longing and a desire to wish to be a child again. I saw the point of ageing and time and how I realized that time does not stop – we grow older every day, every minute and there are some reactions I have towards time which I will investigate in another blog, however, the experiences were prominent when I was at this park.

long·ing

noun
1.strong, persistent desire or craving, especially for something unattainable or distant: filled with longing for home.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be preoccupied with thoughts of me as a child playing in the park when I was at the park with my family and from this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed with energies of emotions of sadness and longing to be a child again through participating with thoughts of me as a child playing in the park.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define playing in the park as a child as happy times that I can’t get back through manipulating myself to believe I can’t ever enjoy myself like that again, manipulating myself to desire/long to be a child again instead of realizing this type of thinking/mind-set in no way supports me/all within who I am but actually sabotages my opportunity to enjoy myself as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate me with emotions of longing/desire to be a child again through perceiving that if I were to be a child again I would be happy with no worries and/or stress. From this, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I can exist without worries and/or stress “like a child” as an adult here through a decision and a commitment to live a life stress and worry free by investigating solutions for and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to assist and support me to enjoy the moment as me, as how a child enjoys themselves when I am at a park.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to accept myself right here as an adult and accept the responsibility I have as me as an adult and from this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking full responsibility of myself, my life and the decisions I make without my parents guidance and/or assistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive making decisions on my own and living my life without the guidance and/or assistance of my parents as “scary”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive being an adult as scary and being on my own without mom and dad as scary, instead of realizing and accepting the knowledge and skills I have to be on my own and to assist and support me to find solutions for myself and therefore, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself on my ability to be/live on my own as an adult.

When and as I see myself go into an experience of sadness or longing to be a child again, I stop, I breathe and I let go of the reactions through realizing that I am an adult, I cannot go back in time but I can enjoy myself right here and right now. I commit myself to stop manipulating myself with emotions of longing/desiring to be a child again but accept who I am now as an adult.

I commit myself to accept me as an adult and the responsibility that comes with being an adult.

I commit myself to develop self-trust and self-acceptance within who I am as an adult through investigation of thoughts/feelings/emotions/backchat/behavior in writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.

I commit myself to stop manipulating myself to want to be a child again by stopping participation in thoughts/feelings/emotions as energies and use breathing to bring me back here.

Additional Support: 
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