Day 96: Putting in the Effort

One problem I am aware of is not pulling through and finishing a point. What I notice within my blogs is I will start writing about a point but I will not carry through and walk the point completely, but in some cases, write a few blog posts on one point but not really support myself to go “deep” enough to really investigate it but just let it go. A part of me resists going deep into a point due to not wanting to put in the effort and time to really question and investigate myself, who I am and my living. What I see within this is is how am I going to understand myself and be able to assist and support myself to no longer exist within points / problems of self-interest and abuse in fact if I don’t push through and really question and self-honestly uncover for myself the exact points I’m existing within and as?

Sometimes I would walk a point half way, expecting that somehow the point will magically be sorted out on its own in the future instead of realizing this is never the case, I have to actually put in the time and effort to really dig up and uncover myself who I am and what I’ve been accepting and allowing in order to really help and change myself into someone that can stand withinbl and as themselves into eternity.

So – this is sort of a “reminder” to myself to in a way slow down and really look at what’s been going in terms of how I’ve been walking my process because I realize that it is only up to me to do this. Yes there is assistance and support available, but it is up to me to put in the time and effort to actually work towards deleting all and any such internal experiences of thoughts, feelings, emotions, energetic reactions within me that I’m allowing to direct me to take responsibility for the experiences by understanding exactly what it is, where it comes from, why I allow myself to hold onto / be directed by these experiences and direct them as me in practicality, common sense and self-honesty.

So the reason why this point came up today is because I saw that I was rushing through a DIP assignment, and I questioned who I am in this moment of rushing and I saw there was a resistance of actually wanting to slow down and put in the effort of actually walking through my assignment, so breathing and just slowing myself down is another point unto itself to apply to become effective walking my process.

So – slow down, practice breathing into stability, use the 4 count breath as an emergency tool for example, and just focus on sticking to one point at a time and really put in the effort to investigate and go in ‘deep’ with myself in regards to critical questioning and investigation of what I am accepting and allowing, because I see within some blog posts I’ve done, some points I wrote about I was lazy with and I could have discovered more realizations and practical solutions for me if I were to just slow down and put in the effort to look deeper into the point.

Okay – that’s it for tonight. Self-Forgiveness tomorrow. More to come…

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