Looking at the memory, I will walk some Self-Forgiveness on the following points:
Going into self pity and quietness, expecting to gain attention from another by manipulating another to feel bad for me so I could get what I want – which was to get specific attention from them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to shut down within myself when I perceived another was not giving me the attention I wanted and from there, decided to become quiet and give into the experience of self-pity.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in self-interest by wanting to gain attention from another by deliberately becoming quiet instead of actually SPEAKING UP and expressing myself to another as I realize I would like another speak up and express themselves to me too.
I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to consider another as me in that I would not want another to deliberately become quiet as a way to manipulate me in giving them attention instead of actually speaking up and talking to me about what’s going on with them / what’s bothering them. From this -I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I wouldn’t want to another to manipulate me like that in order to get their way and fulfill their desire as a point of self-interest of abuse – not considering the consequences of their actions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use quietness as a manipulation tactic to get what I want instead of considering the consequences that if I accept and allow such a pattern to exist within me I allow others to exist within the same pattern too and abuse / manipulate others just to fulfill their desires.
We as humans have been doing nothing but seeking the next positive experience or happiness fix – anything to make us feel good, and along the way have been abusing each other simply to fulfill our own desires based in self-interest without considering others in this world. We live in a world of competition, survival, abuse and separation – what a ugly world we live in. There is a solution though: Desteni.org and EqualMoney.org
I commit myself to stop the manipulation game of deliberately becoming quiet as a means to gain attention from another but to instead actually SPEAK UP so that I don’t sabotage moments and communication with another.
From here – I commit myself to utilize the tools of writing, self forgiveness, self corrective application and self honesty to investigate / look into where in my life do I shut down and become quiet as a result of external triggers which leads me to suppressing myself and sabotaging moments of opportunity where I can really expand and express myself.
I commit myself to become aware of and investigate those selfish, self-interest desires that I see do not serve me and others and walk myself into corrective application through the Desteni tools of writing, self-honesty, and self-forgiveness.
More to come…
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