Day 80: Self-Forgiveness on Self Sabotage Point

I’m pausing for a moment to walk some Self-Forgiveness on a Self-Sabotage point I existed in:

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to investigate the negative experiences of emotions within me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to write about the internal conflicting experiences as negative emotions existing within me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to utilize breathing, specifically the four count breathing technique when I see I am becoming unstable / emotional and unable to direct myself effectively.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop myself when I see I am going into conflicting internal experiences of negative emotions and breathe and just sit with myself and hold my hands and just focus on breathing in and out of my body, until I am relaxed and stable and can direct myself effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eat instead of investigating the internal conflicting experiences of negative emotions within and as me because I realize that eating will not and cannot get rid of the internal experiences within – I need to actually see / write about them and understand them before I let them go / get rid of them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself by eating when I am experiencing conflicting internal experiences of emotions instead of taking a breath, letting go of the food and seeing what exactly brought me to this unstable conflicting experience because I realize I am only sabotaging myself and deliberately prolonging my process of self-support and self-change every time I eat as a way to avoid facing myself. I see, realize and understand the consequences of existing in such self-sabotage, and that is – harming myself and also others in my world and as long as I keep continuing to exist within this point / pattern of self-abuse I allow others to exist within it as well.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop myself within the moment I see the consequences of my actions of eating to avoid my internal conflicting experiences of negative emotions by taking a physical breath and re-directing myself to doing that which I need to do / get done with.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how dangerous not caring about myself and the consequences of my actions are because that harms me and others in my world because I understand my actions / words do make an impact and effect onto myself and others in my world and as I live my daily life walking as an example of who I currently exist as and am living, who I am is shown to others, and if my actions and words support spite and abuse, then that is what I’m living, accepting, allowing and showing others in my world as an example that ‘it’s okay to exist like this.’ Obviously – from all of this that is not cool and so this is why I am forgiving myself, letting go of the self-abusive / self-sabotage point and walking myself towards a practical self-supportive solution, because I see the consequences that self-sabotage / self-abuse bring – it perpetuates only abuse and disharmony within myself and my world and I don’t like seeing that and living as that.

Okay – more on this point to come – thanks.

Additional Support:
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