Day 68: Challenging My Self Definitions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find speaking out and exposing myself on the internet scary because it’s not “who I am.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as someone who cannot speak up and stand up for themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing up for myself because I don’t know what will come from that, such as conflict manifesting due to me standing up for myself and from this, I see that I require to get to understand the fears I have about facing conflict so I can assist and support myself to develop the confidence necessary to face conflict in stability.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I fear speaking out because I fear the conflict that could manifest and come into my life if I were to speak out and / or I were to say something that would not be in alignment with another’s words / beliefs, so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing up for myself and speak up for myself and speak out for myself and others due to fear of conflict.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking up and out about the world because I fear being ridiculed and made fun of, but I see that’s what the system wants to do to me, the system, when threatened, will do what it can to survive, and so I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that the system itself will do what it can to survive so that I remain in my position, as a slave, in my pre-programmed design so I keep the system going.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the world will not change unless people / a group stand up and speak out and from there direct the system as itself into a better system, a system best for all.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I have a voice and that I am able to use that voice to speak out about this world, as I am equal to everyone else in having a voice to say something about what’s going on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking up and standing up for a new world, a new solution, a new money system because I fear the conflict that may manifest from it and my pre-programmed self would rather just hide and not deal with the uncomfortable feelings when conflict manifests.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear conflict itself, instead of seeing it’s in conflict where I really get to see who I am.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to investigate the fears I have towards conflict in order to find solutions as to how to deal with conflict when / as they manifest in my world so I know how to direct it accordingly. For example, if I write a blog or do a vlog, I must make sure of the consequences that could manifest when / if I post such things and to make sure I STAND IN MY WORDS with no point of doubt or fear existent within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as someone who cannot speak up, who cannot stand up, because I am ‘scared’ and ‘timid’ and ‘shy’ which I see are only self-definitions I believe to be me which can be changed through my own decision, if I will it to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me as someone who is unable to speak up because I fear speaking up and I allow that fear to control / define who I am instead of taking the self-directive decision in no longer accepting and allowing that fear to control / define me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hide and not speak up because speaking up is something that “I don’t do.”

I commit myself to investigate where I am ‘unstable’ within myself and my application and through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, create / find solutions so I become stable in my application / myself.

I commit myself to use writing to investigate where I find myself afraid of conflict, and write until I see the point, see where this all started / emerged, and use self-forgiveness to take responsibility and self-corrective application to walk out of the fear of conflict.

I commit myself to through writing, investigate the fears I have in relation to changing myself as the system and what I fear losing and take responsibility for these fears and use self-corrective statements and application so I no longer exist within them.

I commit myself to investigate and find all memories that are related to fear of conflict and what moments in my life where I had to face conflict and become unsure of myself, and use self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to assist in changing myself from a person scared of conflict to someone who is able to face conflict directly with no fear.

I commit myself to investigate where I have allowed myself to ‘shut down’ and ‘shut up’ due to me speaking up and out, as I see, realize and understand that much of me fearing to speak up comes from my family in how I allowed my family’s words and actions to influence me on how I speak and what I speak about.

I commit myself to: Before I write or speak, make sure that what I will say will be that which I can stand in and be accountable for. So I commit myself to ask myself before I publish my blog / writings: can I stand in these words?

I commit myself to: Before I publish my writings or speak up about something, to make sure I am aware of the consequences it may bring, and make sure I am able to support myself / my words when / if consequences / conflict happen.

I commit myself to investigate all the self-definitions I have about myself and see if this is who I want to be and live as, and use writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective statements and self-corrective application to change me into someone who I WANT to be.

I commit myself to challenge all my self-definitions and ask myself: is this who I want to be and exist as? And if no: use the Desteni tools to find a solution on how to become that which I want to be.

I commit myself to make sure that within my writing and speaking that I am confident in what I am saying and can stand in my words.

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